Quote Originally Posted by ballpythonluvr View Post
Well, it turns out you are correct. My ex does in fact know that our daughter is smoking and in fact he is ok with it. I was just going on what I THOUGHT I knew here. I know since I am not there I really ultimately have no say in what my child is allowed to do. However, I am a concerned mother and just want what is best for my daughter. I do not agree with letting her smoke and I let him know that, but since he is there and I am not, what can I do really? I just had to let him know my concerns and I also had to let my daughter know that I love her and care about her.
Don't know you and your ex's situation with custody and all. But, I'll assume that you share some sort of physical custody with him since you do have contact (or it seems you do from your OP). If you have some sort of physical custody, I'll also assume that you have some legal custody as well. First and foremost, the courts usually look out for the best interest of children when placing custody with the parents. Unless an agreement is made between the parties beforehand. Smoking, although not against the law, would in my op not be in the best interests of the child due to potential health risks. Not that I am an opponent of smokers, I have friends that smoke and I used to smoke years back but have quit. Your Ex, if condoning this behavior, is setting a bad example for your daughter (and siblings if there are any). I would continue to voice your concerns to both your Ex and your daughter. If he shuts you out or ignores your concerns, there is always mods that can be made to custody arrangements. I am not telling you to start a war, but if civil communication is not an option, the latter may be your only means to look after her best interests. I too have a rocky relationship with my ex, and do not talk to her unless it is regarding my children. When regarding my children, I try to put my feelings on hold and deal with the problem at hand. Afterwards, I can go back to disliking her as I wish.