# Other Pets > Dogs >  I need your opinion

## MeMe

ok so I am really looking for your opinion on a crappy situation I am in.


So as you know...I own a Pitbull, Sway. She is very good with people but not so much with other animals..outside of the ones in my house.

A friend of mine started coming over and hanging out with me and she started bringing her Pug. I would ALWAYS make sure both my dogs were pinned up when she came over as I knew...she would bring her Pug. 

I have told her numerous times to call me when she is on her way over so I could put my dogs away since they don't like other dogs. She doesn't. 

I specifically told her from the beginning, like months ago...SWAY DOES NOT LIKE OTHER ANIMALS SHE TRIES TO FIGHT THEM. I would tell her when she came over that it made me very nervous when she would bring the dog(s). She still did.

I thought if I siad that ..she would at the very least...be careful when bringing them over.

Well...last week she came over and no doubt...brought her Pug _annnnd_...her new 1/2 pound Chihuahua. She did NOT call me when she was on her way.

Sway was in Sara's room because I had the kitten in mine. My friend came to the door and Kyle let her in...She let her dog walk in by her side. I was in my bedroom and did not even know she came in. She came down the hall and Sara heard someone in the house so she opened her door to see who it was and that was it. Sway saw the Pug sitting in front of my bedroom door with me in in it and she rolled the Pug...she put a few puncture wounds on the Pug but nothing that looked too bad. I heard the noise and within seconds I was out there and it was over. 

So she looked over her dog and said it only looked like a small mark on his side. We cleaned it and that was it. 

I went to her house on saturday night and she shows me this knot...the size of a softball on his chest. I freaked! I had NO idea Sway had even bit him there! I told her she needed to get him to a vet that it looked way bad and needed to be checked. She blew it off and said he is acting normal to not worry. 

*Even after all this happened she still brought the dogs over here. 

So yesterday morning I got a text that she had to take the dog to the vet and it has an abcess on his chest from where Sway had bit him. He had to undergo surgery and they tubed him for a couple days for the abcess to drain.

Here's the deal.

When she told me about this I was in the middle of getting my kids ready for their first day of school so I made my apologies for Sway and told her I felt horrible. After I got them to school and was able to sit for a minute and think and I started to really worry...like about Roscoe and how that poor pup was in pain. However...I could not find it in me to be mad at Sway...She was protecting *her* home!

So I called her back and told her that I was terribly sorry that he got bit but that I am not taking any action towards Sway...because she was well within her rights in her home. But I was sorry for the situation in a whole.

I also told her that I could not afford to contribute to the bill right now since I just sent off 3 kids to school and I have other financial obligations. But I would help her in any way I can to take care of the dog and get him better. I never said I wouldn't give her any money...just not now.

So she sends me a myspace message yesterday that said how she feels _we should have to repay her for at least...half of the medical bills._

Before I tell you what I said..I would like to know what you would say/do?

This is your dog..in your house...that bit another dog...and you didn't even KNOW this other dog was in your house. 

 :Weirdface:

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## mooingtricycle

NOPE

She came over unannounced, and after being told REPEATEDLY NOT to bring the dog/s over. I would 100% ignore it, and also probably stop speaking to said person, if they cannot even respect MY rules in MY house.

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## MeMe

> NOPE
> 
> She came over unannounced, and after being told REPEATEDLY NOT to bring the dog/s over. I would 100% ignore it, and also probably stop speaking to said person, if they cannot even respect MY rules in MY house.



well now..I never said to her "Don't bring them here" I gave many...very NOT so subtle hints to her about it. 

She did tell me she was coming over, sometime that day...but I told her to call when she was ACUTALLY on her way so I could make sure my dogs were up. 

Sway was up. but as I said...the only one that knew she had entered the house was Kyle. Not any adult.

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## JLC

Well...first off....if it were me, that person would not have been welcomed back into my home after consistently showing so little respect or courtesy.  

Had it gone that far though, I would certainly not feel responsible for any of the vet bills.  And I don't think any court would hold you responsible either....unless you got the one bad judge who was entirely biggoted against pits.   :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

If this person were such a dear and close friend that all previous and continuing lack of respect and courtesy is always forgotten, then I might offer to help pay some of the bills I can, just out of the goodness of my heart and to help out a friend.  But to my way of seeing it, from what you've posted here...you are in no way legally or morally responsible to do so.

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## BT41042

> ok so I am really looking for your opinion on a crappy situation I am in.
> 
> 
> So as you know...I own a Pitbull, Sway. She is very good with people but not so much with other animals..outside of the ones in my house.
> 
> A friend of mine started coming over and hanging out with me and she started bringing her Pug. I would ALWAYS make sure both my dogs were pinned up when she came over as I knew...she would bring her Pug. 
> 
> I have told her numerous times to call me when she is on her way over so I could put my dogs away since they don't like other dogs. She doesn't. 
> 
> ...


Hate to hear that MeMe...You know I own Pitbulls as well - I had a situation similar to yours years ago back in Louisiana...My male pretty much mauled a Black Lab in my yard...I felt horrible just like you but the owner of the Lab took responsibility for his dog being loose...

If I were you - I'd be polite and just tell it like it is...Ask her how many times you have asked her to call before coming over...If your worried about getting sued for a vet bill - I wouldn't worry...

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## frankykeno

Meme, the first thing that jumped out at me was the myspace demand for vet costs reimbursement.  This is a friend, one apparently close enough to you to show up unannounced (even after you requested she call first), to walk into your home, to call herself your friend.  Why would she use a go between like a myspace message to make her demand?  My gut instinct is because she knows in her heart of hearts she doesn't deserve this cash.

Meme, you've told this person to call first before she visits with her dogs.  You've told her that because you didn't want to see her dogs hurt.  You've kennelled your dogs to avoid her dogs getting hurt.  Truthfully if she was a smart dog owner and a good friend - why is she even putting her small dogs at risk and creating work for you in your own home?  It's not like the dogs have to come visit with her is it?

She walked in unannounced, with her dogs loose into your home after being told not to repeatedly, after having visited previously and knowing Sway might bite her dogs.  Even when her dog was hurt, let's be honest here, she didn't seek vet care until you made her do so.

I'm sorry hon but even though it may strain this friendship, I see no place where you were in anyway remiss in your duties as a responsible dog owner.  She created this situation, even knowing the risk to her dog, she didn't get immediate care for her dog, therefore creating a far greater health issue and a far greater vet bill - it's her problem though she may not like that answer.

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## wilomn

She knew your dog didn't like other animals.

You told her many times not to come unannounced and strongly hinted that bringing her dog could cause trouble.

She disregarded your hints.

She is SOAL. ---- out of luck.

There is no way you should be paying her bill, not any part of it.

You feel bad because you're a nice person.

She has an injured dog because she is arrogant and stupid.

It's a shame it happened but there is not a bit of fault to be found that points to you. It is all squarely hers.

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## MeMe

> Meme, the first thing that jumped out at me was the myspace demand for vet costs reimbursement.  This is a friend, one apparently close enough to you to show up unannounced (even after you requested she call first), to walk into your home, to call herself your friend.  Why would she use a go between like a myspace message to make her demand?  My gut instinct is because she knows in her heart of hearts she doesn't deserve this cash.
> 
> Meme, you've told this person to call first before she visits with her dogs.  You've told her that because you didn't want to see her dogs hurt.  You've kennelled your dogs to avoid her dogs getting hurt.  Truthfully if she was a smart dog owner and a good friend - why is she even putting her small dogs at risk and creating work for you in your own home?  It's not like the dogs have to come visit with her is it?
> 
> She walked in unannounced, with her dogs loose into your home after being told not to repeatedly, after having visited previously and knowing Sway might bite her dogs.  Even when her dog was hurt, let's be honest here, she didn't seek vet care until you made her do so.
> 
> I'm sorry hon but even though it may strain this friendship, I see no place where you were in anyway remiss in your duties as a responsible dog owner.  She created this situation, even knowing the risk to her dog, she didn't get immediate care for her dog, therefore creating a far greater health issue and a far greater vet bill - it's her problem though she may not like that answer.




OMG...you have totally made every point I made. 

I am going to post the myspcae messages so you all can read what I told her. I will delete her name since she is not here to defend herself.

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## frankykeno

Last point, and one I feel strongly about as a dog owner myself.  You should not impose your pet on others.  If you cannot respect other people, their property, their dogs, you shouldn't own a dog in the first place.  I cannot imagine taking our dog Bella into anyone's home unless I first got permission and then under tight leash control, made sure their dog and mine could visit peacefully.

My dearest friend visited recently for the weekend.  She asked first if she could bring her young pup along.  We made sure Sandy and Bella were on leash and introduced them carefully.  Even off leash we watched them closely.  It was fine and Bella even allowed Sandy in her kennel to nap with her (darn cute!).

The point of this is, this is a woman that is like a sister to me, yet even she asked first and would have respected my decision if I felt it was not safe to have those two dogs together in my home.

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## mooingtricycle

> well now..I never said to her "Don't bring them here" I gave many...very NOT so subtle hints to her about it. 
> 
> She did tell me she was coming over, sometime that day...but I told her to call when she was ACUTALLY on her way so I could make sure my dogs were up. 
> 
> Sway was up. but as I said...the only one that knew she had entered the house was Kyle. Not any adult.


Well, i suppose it depends on how you feel about the situation. 

I personally feel its entirely her fault. If i told someone several times ( which is way more than i would allow anyone a free chance at listening to my words)
To CALL me before they came over, or that My dogs wanted to attack others, I wouldnt feel responsible. Is that what it takes for someone to get a hint? something like having their dog attacked to finally wisen up and heed ones words? 

Why not just tell her flat out in the future "dont bring the dogs". Better to avoid a potential situation like this again completely.  Though, at this point... im sure that wont even be a question anymore.  :Smile:

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## MeMe

here is her first message to me...

Dear Melissa, 

I know that you have stressed your regret and are very sorry for what Sway has done to Roscoe but I have to say something that I am unable to on the phone or directly to your face....

I really do feel that you and Jeff should somehow repay me for atleast half of Roscoe's Medical bills, because really I feel that Sway is at a fault. Not only did "WE" as a whole know that Sway has an aggressive behavior to other animals but you had to go out of your way to control her. I am so stressed about this hurting our friendship, which I value very much, and I don't want this to come between us. All morning I have been surveying web pages to find out what I should do, like am I crazy for thinking that YOU should pay anything in this situation? Well it seems that every site I go to puts me back in the same position that I currently lead... I don't know how to handle this, and I wish it never happened, but it did and we need to come to some resolution. I want you to remember...I REALLY VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND DON'T WANT THIS TO HURT YOU OR OUR RELATIONSHIP. Now, as far as paying for something in this situation, I know you don't have the money right now and I understand that. If we can work something out where you pay me a little over time. I just need this feeling to go away and to get this off my chest. I also want you to know that if the table was ever turned I would do all that I could to repay you.



so I wrote....

First I would like to address the fact that you don't feel that you can have a mature conversation with me when I tried to speak with you about this matter over the phone this morning. Seems kinda high schoolish to send me a myspace message but hey...it's whatev. 

As far as for my concern for Roscoe..you have no idea how upset I have been over this. If you remember correctly...I am the one who suggested that you take him to a vet a couple days ago which probably could have made a difference. 

You say that WE knew as a whole that Sway is aggressive towards other animals yet YOU didn't take any precautions when you walked in MY house with him loose. 

You were told numerous times that Sway doesn't get along with other dogs..yet you brought yours over anyway. 

You also knew that you were supposed to call before you came over and you didn't. 

We have gone above and beyond to accomodate your dogs when they were here to include pinning our dogs up for hours while yours run around my house freely.

You say that it is Sway's fault...hmph...I don't think so. You need to accept that it is YOUR own fault...not Roscoe's ...and certainly not Sway's.

You need to realize that accidents happen. And sometimes their your own fault. If I would have asked everyone of my fiends for money everytime one of my kids got hurt at their house...I'd be rich...but I know accidents happen.

Let me ask you question...If you were my neighbor and I had my dog outside my house on a leash and your dog came into my yard...and my dog bit yours...whose fault would it be?

If you were in my shoes...that's kinda funny actually cause if I were in YOUR shoes...I wouldn't ask you for [crap]. just sayin'

At the least I owe you...no...at the MOST..I owe you is half. Rememeber...you brought your dog in MY house. 

I am pretty hurt that you didn't feel you could talk to me but I think I understand...it's a maturity factor.  :Wink: 

However..the only oligation I feel is a moral obligation. I will pay you $291.50 which is half of the $583.00 that you said the vet bill was. As you know I am unable to right now so I will send you what I can in the mail via money order until $291.50 is paid.

Also...Jeff and I would like a copy of Roscoe's vet bill to keep on file until this is resolved.

Melissa 


she worte...

I will get you any paper work you need. I apologize for the inconvience I imposed for bringing over the dogs, I didn't realize. The reason I could'nt talk about it before is just the simple fact that I really liked you and wanted to be able to say the things I meant without something stupid coming out..I wanted to be able to edit myself, not because I was afraid or immature. And also, I was let in by your son I think that day and sway was away...until she got loose. I should have never brought him over and I'm sorry that I brought this on you and Roscoe. I apologize. The one thing I will say in closing: If this was my child who was bitten would you still be taking this stern of a stance? I will get you anything you request again I am sorry.


so I wrote...


Inconvience....ha..yea..ok.

I understand that you were let in by my son (and not me) ..however...do yo think it was smart of you to just come walking in with yor dog at your side when you KNEW that my pitbull was even in the house? Did Jeff, Sara, or I know you were even here? No. we didn't which is why I asked you specifically to CALL ME FIRST.


As far as taking a strong stance...Why yes I will when it comes to defending my home...my family..and my pets..especially when they are NOT wrong. One day when you have a family you will understand. 

Again...you should be able to see that this is most definitely YOUR fault and NOT anyone elses.

However...since you asked. No...if Sway had bit a child..It would have been a total differenet situation..but she didn't. She bit your dog which happened to be in HER house. 

Let's try to stay away from the apples to oranges comparrisons..ok.

I find it funny that you say "Sway got loose". She was in her own home! She didn't "get loose"! Your dog was loose when it came in my house. Sorry but I do not feel Sway was wrong. 

My dog was WELL within her rights in her home.

I am not gonna play the blame game because when i comes down to it...neither of the dogs could have controlled the situation...the only person that could have was you. 

you can forwad a copy of the vet bill to my email address.

jeffnmenr3@msn.com

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## frankykeno

Well hon, you're sort of stuck now since you've agreed to pay half the vet bill (which I would not have done).  Not because I'm cheap or mean but because when I read her message to you there was not ONE hint she feels in anyway responsible for her dog entering YOUR home unleashed.  She's searching the internet?  For what, reasons to sue you and Jeff?  Maybe she'd better spend her time searching her heart for the definition of the word "friendship".

Tell me this Meme.  Have you ever once imposed on your friendship with her by taking Sway to her home and insisting she pen up those little ankle biters of hers while you had coffee?  

Look, Meme, my dog Bella isn't dog aggressive at all but if I had a friend with a toy or very small breed I would not allow them to bring it here.  Bella is 70 lbs of stupid, happy, goofy Labrador.  She's simply too big to not accidentally injure a tiny breed dog trying to play with it.  I'd expect anyone calling me their friend to understand that I didn't want to see their dog hurt but I'm not penning up my dog while their's runs loose and drives mine nuts.

Oh and Memes, you might want to ask her, since she can't get the concept of keeping her own dogs under control in YOUR home.  Would she like to cover the costs for any medical bills when HER dogs nip YOUR kids?  Or does she only think Pitbulls bite?

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## mooingtricycle

id sever all ties to this person as soon as possible. Man... that does NOT sound like a REAL friend. 

Im sorry you have to deal with this, and agreeing to pay, youve definitely got a big heart.  :Good Job:  Youre better than these sorts of people, thats 100% for sure.

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## West Coast Jungle

My own brother who has two dogs would never bring his dogs over without completey clearing it with me and Laurie. 

I myself would never take my dog Harry to anyones house knowing a conflict could arise and cause any harm to my baby!

My dogs safety comes first and possibly putting him in harms way just does not make sense.

An dog owner is responsible for their dogs safety and bringing the to a place were an accident or conflict is highly possible is just irresponsible.

I take my dog to work in my truck almost everyday but he never leaves that truck if there is ANY chance he may harm or be harmed by another animal.

If you were walking down the street with your dog and a conflict occured then i would say that changes things but in your own home, were it was obvious to your friend your dog is and can be aggressive, puts the resposibility(and stupidity) completely on her shoulders.

Were you supposed to be psychic and know in advance she was coming over with her dogs? Lets get real.

lesson learned

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## frankykeno

You know on further reflection, the really sad part of all of this is, depending on what the breed specific laws are where you live Meme, it may be better to just pay her off (then turf her and her friendship to the curb).  I know here in Toledo we have so many problems with bad Pit owners that even good Pit owners with nice dogs are under the gun and hassled a lot.

As much as it galls me to say, it may be cheaper in the long run to give this chick the cash rather than have the dog warden, your house insurance agent and so forth at your door.  Sucks but if she's been "searching the internet" she's looking for ways to make you pay that may cost you and Jeff a lot more than a couple of hundred bucks.  Some friend...geesh!

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## Adam_Wysocki

All I have to say is this ...

"If I knew it was going to be that kind of party I would have stuck my dog in the mashed potatoes"

... but that's besides the point.

Why is it that some people don't know how to act in other peoples homes? 

MeMes, you're more than right in this situation and your "friend" is an idiot ... yeah, that's right, I said it.

In closing I'll say this ... Jamies and Amys dog eats horse poop when they bring her over here ... should I clean up 1/2 of her doo doo afterwards? I think not.

-adam

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## West Coast Jungle

How does HER dog have the right to run freely in YOUR home, yet YOUR dog doesnt?

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## MeMe

> Well hon, you're sort of stuck now since you've agreed to pay half the vet bill (which I would not have done).  Not because I'm cheap or mean but because when I read her message to you there was not ONE hint she feels in anyway responsible for her dog entering YOUR home unleashed.  She's searching the internet?  For what, reasons to sue you and Jeff?  Maybe she'd better spend her time searching her heart for the definition of the word "friendship".
> 
> Tell me this Meme.  Have you ever once imposed on your friendship with her by taking Sway to her home and insisting she pen up those little ankle biters of hers while you had coffee?  
> 
> Look, Meme, my dog Bella isn't dog aggressive at all but if I had a friend with a toy or very small breed I would not allow them to bring it here.  Bella is 70 lbs of stupid, happy, goofy Labrador.  She's simply too big to not accidentally injure a tiny breed dog trying to play with it.  I'd expect anyone calling me their friend to understand that I didn't want to see their dog hurt but I'm not penning up my dog while their's runs loose and drives mine nuts.


See...this is what I am sayin'...I initially felt a moral obligation...but she didn't come to me with it...No, instead she goes surfing the web??? For what??? Ways to sue me??? I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on in a court but think about it...

Would I rather pay the 291.50 and be done with her and it...or let her try to take us to court...possibly have her talk smack about me and my family/pets...have Jeff lose time at work and essentially money for a day off...and my time. 

Also...now she has drug a very close friend of ours into it and is trying to basically have her choose. I totally understand the mutual friend not wanting to take sides and seeing both sides...but she is all mad at her now too cause she won't take just her side. 

This is just soooo much bs...and I hate it. 

I really do not feel like I should have been told to pay anything...if she needed help woth the bill though...why couldn't she talk to me like an adult?

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## frankykeno

Oh so she's running to mutual friends for "support".  That smacks of someone is knows she's doing wrong and just wants backup.  

In the end, Meme, it's going to be financially cheaper to pay her off but personally I'd never speak to the broad again.  Friends don't do this.  When my friend brought her dog for the weekend, had a fight broke out suddenly, we would have got them apart and covered our own dog's vet bills.  She asked permission to bring Sandy, I granted it - therefore as friends we both knew and took the risks involved.  We minimized those risks of course but still, friends do NOT look to screw over friends.

If you pay her off, get that vet bill, do NOT pay her, pay the vet unless she can produce absolute proof she's already paid the entire bill in full.  Don't pay her in cash and do make sure you get a receipt or have a way to prove you paid what you paid to who you paid it to.  Make her sign something in writing that you are paying not out of any legal obligation to but simply as a friend helping a friend and that your paying half the vet bill does NOT mean you admit any liability now or in the future.  I'm sorry but I wouldn't trust this chick at all.

What if she doesn't follow her vet's advice and that dog keels over tomorrow?  Doesn't seem like she ran to get it help in the first place.  Is she going to come after you guys for a replacement cost on her purebred?  Get something in writing Memes to CYA.

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## JLC

> ...why couldn't she talk to me like an adult?


Sounds to me like she's little more than a juvenile in an adult's body.  It's easy to ACT mature when things are going well...but at the first sign of something seriously wrong (or big bucks yanked out of the pocketbook) a lot of people's real character comes out.  I'm sorry your friend turned out to be something less than what you thought she was.

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## MeMe

Thanks everyone for your help.

I really wasn't looking for anyone to validate my feelings...just wanted to see what you might do in this situation. Seems like it is pretty unanimous that it was _not_ Sway's fault.

I was pretty sure she would contact our mutual friend..heck, I did. But I understood when she said she sees BOTH sides and didn't want to get in the middle. 

I never once have discussed my friendship with her. When she started 'surfing the web' and calling our friend to get her to agree...I just figured she had already dismissed our friendship...besides, when it comes to money I only see $$$. Friends and money don't mesh. 

She is very immature and oppinionated. She wants everyone to believe what she believes. I don't and she hates that. She believes that Sway is at fault. I don't. I feel it is totally her fault.

I am going to pay her half only because I don't feel like dealing. 

I am worried more that she is going to try and strain my friendship with my other friend.  :Embarassed:   Although as of right now...she just wants us (me and my other friend) to be happy together. Whatever that means!  :Weirdface:

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## wolfy-hound

Personally I think you should have told her NOT to bring her dog(s) over.  If you know that your dog a problem, why would you lock your dog up, just so she could have her dogs over to your house?
When she brought her dog to your house, despite knowing that your dog is dog aggressive, then she took on most of the responsibility.
In my own opinion, if I had not TOLD the person outright to NOT bring the dog in, and had NOT enforced it by not allowing her to bring the dog in, I would indeed pay HALF the vet bill.  Not the whole thing, but I would pay half.
Since you only told her to call you in advance, and your son let her in, that's the grey area.  She should have been more responsible and not brought her dogs over in the first place.  But then, you probably should not have allowed her to bring her dogs over either.
She is behaving immaturely, especailly since you're agreeing to pay half.  

IMHO, having a dog aggressive dog and allowing friends to bring their dogs over is inviting disaster.  Even if she HAD called in advance, and waited on the porch for you to secure your dog, what if it accidentally got loose? 
That said, if I knew you had a dog aggressive dog, I can't think of ANY reason that I would bring my dog over, especially not a SMALLER dog.  That was supremely arrogant and stupid of her.
Good for you for taking the high ground and offering to pay half.  Other than official communication regarding that, I would not have much contact with her otherwise.  She's proving herself to be a little less friend that you thought her to be.
All of the above is of course ONLY my opinion.

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## frankykeno

Memes, you're a mom so you already know how this goes with kids and fights.  Same sort of deal.  You have to deal with the issue and seperate it from the adults and them losing their ever lovin' minds.  If friend #1 (the idiot dog owner) keeps stuffing her nose into your relationship with friend #2 you have even more reason to turf her out of your life.  Geesh with friends like that, who needs enemies.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## Reediculous

> Why is it that some people don't know how to act in other peoples homes? 
> -adam



Thats a good question!  I love kicking people out!  Its fun!  I'm like Martin!

Get the steppppping!    :Sweeet:  



MeMe's ....... You already handled this situation perfect.  i wouldn't change a thing!

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## dsirkle

Morally you are off the hook. Common sense indicates her own responsibility in this unfortunate situation. Legally however you are always responsible for such damage by your dog. If she were to file a suit against you I have no doubt that she would be granted a judgement against you.

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## daaangconcepts

> I am worried more that she is going to try and strain my friendship with my other friend.   Although as of right now...she just wants us (me and my other friend) to be happy together. Whatever that means!


Awww Memes  :Hug: 

You know you don't have to worry about that evras!! Me and you are besties!  I'm down for life yo!   :Cool: 

Wait....I am the "other friend" right?  :Giggle:   jaykay

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## Reediculous

> Awww Memes 
> 
> You know you don't have to worry about that evras!! Me and you are besties!  I'm down for life yo!  
> 
> Wait....I am the "other friend" right?   jaykay




Good thing it wasn't one of your dogs ........ didn't sway already come close to getting that butt kicked!

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## jknudson

Meme sorry to hear about this situation!  

It seems your friend it trying to put the blame on you, because you knew you had an aggressive pitbull...  really Sway being a pitbull had nothing to do with it...  My old golden retreiver would've protected our home from another dog, and he was THE friendliest dog I've ever known.

In fact, many times larger dogs take issues with small dogs, those small dogs tend to carry around god complexes because most people don't treat them like dogs.  First and foremost your friend is at fault.  I don't see any need for her to bring her dogs into YOUR home for an afternoon visit, especially when she should know it's an inconvenience to you to have to lock them up.

I don't think she should get a dime from you, however, and I hate to say it, she could have a good shot at trying.  If she were to play it like you didn't try to lock up a known "dog aggressive" dog, when she visited. (Although I still think she's an idiot for bringing her dogs into your home uninvited),

Hopefully everything pans out okay, that's a bridge I'd gladly burn with that "friend".

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## MeMe

> Legally however you are always responsible for such damage by your dog. If she were to file a suit against you I have no doubt that she would be granted a judgement against you.



Oh...how do you figure? 

 :Weirdface:

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## MeMe

> Awww Memes 
> 
> You know you don't have to worry about that evras!! Me and you are besties!  I'm down for life yo!  
> 
> Wait....I am the "other friend" right?   jaykay


 :Hug: 

just sayin'

 :Embarassed: 

I really hate that this happened and she has involved you...and now 'others'.

 :Sad: 




> Good thing it wasn't one of your dogs ........ didn't sway already come close to getting that butt kicked!


yesss...Jas put it on her.  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

However...I accepeted complete responsibility for that.  :Wink:

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## dsirkle

> Oh...how do you figure?


In my long and aged time spent on the earth I have seen many lawsuits filed because a dog either bites a person or injures another dog. If there is homeowners insurance policy involved a settlement check is rapidly issued usually for $3500 miminum in the case of a dog biting a human. When a dog hurts a dog, the check covers the vet bill and any other other incurred expenses. When there is no insurance a Judge makes a similar order. Always as far as I have ever seen the dog owner is responsible for any damage done by the dog. The injured parties are not required to exercise good judgement to prevent injury. I'm no lawyer, this is just what I have seen. I am a life long dog owner and have 2 dogs over 100 lbs now. Just sayin' and junk.

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## Patrick Long

Seems like your friend is a bit of a Ditz (no offense)

You told her repeated times to let you know IN ADVANCE when she was coming over.

Not only did she not let you know, she put the stupid dog on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!

You have NO obligation to pay for that bill. NONE. Even if she wants to take it to court, you will have 0 obligation.

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## MeMe

> In my long and aged time spent on the earth I have seen many lawsuits filed because a dog either bites a person or injures another dog. If there is homeowners insurance policy involved a settlement check is rapidly issued usually for $3500 miminum in the case of a dog biting a human. When a dog hurts a dog, the check covers the vet bill and any other other incurred expenses. When there is no insurance a Judge makes a similar order. Always as far as I have ever seen the dog owner is responsible for any damage done by the dog. The injured parties are not required to exercise good judgement to prevent injury. I'm no lawyer, this is just what I have seen. I am a life long dog owner and have 2 dogs over 100 lbs now. Just sayin' and junk.



interesting point.

However...this situation was explained to a civil suit attorney who has practiced law for 30+ years. He said that she has no chance in the world of getting a dime out of me. She came into my house fully aware that I have aggressive dogs. She took her chance.

Another attorney said that a judge would tell her that she should be greatful her dog is alive.

The sheriffs department said there is nothing she can do. But that halvesies would be the right thing to do if we are friends.

 :Embarassed:

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## qiksilver

the only thing I find that you did wrong, is let her think she could do whatever the hell she wanted in YOUR house.  If someone was going to walk over me like that and then tell me it's all my fault I would tell them where to stick it.

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## FloridaHogs

I guess the question now should be, is that the type friend you want to have?  Are you going to remain friends after this?  Quite frankly, she sounds like the type of "friend" you would be better off without.  That being said, I would only pay her if you plan on continuing the friendship.  BUT, if you don't plan on remaining friends, then I would simply tell her that after consoluting with a civilsuit attorney and the sheriff's office about the situtation, you have decided that you are not liable for any of the vet bill.  Let her know you are serious about the situtation and have already consulted attorneys and the law.  Paying half the bill is kinda like admitting fault IMO.

That is a pretty large sum of money to basically throw away because your "friend" doesn't have the common sense God gave a cow!  I could think of many better ways to spend it.  As I said just my opinion.

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## Spaniard

I would consider bringing my dog to someones house as my responsibility.  Just the same if I brought my dog to a park or out on a walk; that animal is my responsibility at all times.

If I was your friend I wouldn't dream of "asking" for money; if you were to offer it on your own accord I maybe would have accepted it, but I would have never asked.  

Animals are animals and people seem to forget that sometimes.  You have to be ready for these sort of things to happen if your going to have different animals mingling under one roof.  You did all you could to accomodate her and she couldn't take a second to call you before showing up at your house.  On top of it all she marches in oblivious to the fact that there are pitbulls present defending their territory.  

I mean c'mon where's the common sense?

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## Stewart_Reptiles

You have done everything in your power to prevent this from happening, but in the end it did happen, I can understand you feel bad about it however it did not happen because of you but because of HER and not doing what was ask of her.

She is lucky that you go out of your way for her, putting your dog away so she can come with her dogs (I know I wouldnt)

She can only blame herself for what happened and she should realize that it is HER responsibility to pay for the vet and that this would not have if she hadnt show up unannounced.

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## mischevious21

IOK, well I havent read all of the posts on here, but this is my opinion- she KNEW that Sway doesnt like other animals, and was still willing to bring them over. You warned her, so it's not like she did not know. Also, you TOLD her that if she was to bring her dog(s) over that she was to call you first- and she did not. Your dog was in her own home. If I were you, I would do the same thing- apologize. And I would have also offers to in the future help pay for the bills- but really it was HER fault, not yours. you dont have to help pay, and if she's being rude about it I would not pay.

 I have a pit mix that is very animal agressive to other dogs (aside form my husky), and our neibors dog once got out and into our yard, and our dog almost killed her. We felt horrible, and offerd to pay- but then they took us to court, where a judge told them that we do NOT have to pay a dime (he even suggested that we didnt because of how horrile they were being to us), because THEIR dog was on OUR proporty, in OUR yard (let alone IN the house), and that they were aware of the citys leash laws, and our dogs temperment.

 So, all I have to say is good luck with it!!

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## dsirkle

> interesting point.
> 
> However...this situation was explained to a civil suit attorney who has practiced law for 30+ years. He said that she has no chance in the world of getting a dime out of me. She came into my house fully aware that I have aggressive dogs. She took her chance.
> 
> Another attorney said that a judge would tell her that she should be greatful her dog is alive.
> 
> The sheriffs department said there is nothing she can do. But that halvesies would be the right thing to do if we are friends.


It could very well be that property laws are quite different in your State than mine. I know that Trespassing laws protect the property owner much more in the Southern States than in the North. I related what is true where I am. Doesn't evidently apply where you are.

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## SilverWolf

I am sorry to hear this has happened. But if you have learned anything from this I hope it is not to let anyone bring any dogs over to your house again.  I am not saying it is yours or your dogs fault, but knowing you have an dog aggressive dog you have to be even that more careful.  As shown it only takes a split second for something to happen. I've known people who have locked their dogs in another room or even kennel and they still got out and something bad happened.  It really shouldn't matter what breed of dog it is, but sadly pit bull owners have to be even more careful than others. Sorry if this sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be. Good luck and hopefully it all works out.

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## python.princess

Well, reading this whole thread, I kept thinking of points to make in my response- then somebody else said em. So I won't post my opinion (which meshes with most everybody else's) but I will give you a lil piece of advice. Document EVERYTHING. Save screenshots of those Myspace messages to your computer. If you just have it copy and pasted to Word or something, she could come back and say that conversation never happened. If she calls, record the calls if your phone allows you to do so. Like somebody said (I think Jo), document any payments you make. Make sure you have proof.

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## marmie

Ahhhh MeMe!  What a horrible position your "friend" has put you in.  IMO you are way to frigging nice.  The only thing you did wrong was try to nicely tell her not to bring her dog.    

If I were in your shoes I'd be paranoid that she'd drag me to court and bad mouth me to mutual friends too.  That's only because you are a kind and sensitive person and the thought of doing the same to her would never have crossed your mind, just as asking her to compensate you for a vet bill.  Beings that you posted both sides of your Myspace messages, it seems to me that she doesn't value your friendship in the least and she's just looking for you to share her pain in paying a huge vet bill.  

I'm not a lawyer but I don't see her winning a "small claims" and other than that I don't believe she has any other recourse.  Even though you did agree to pay half I still don't think I'd pay but if I did I would make it painful for her.  Like maybe skip a day of Starbucks and give her $5.00 a week.  Not because I couldn't afford to pay her but because I wouldn't take away from my family to pay for her inconsiderate stupidity.

I don't think I'd pay the vet directly but I would ask for a vet bill. Only because it could be proof down the road that you accepted part of the responsibility.    

I also don't feel your dog did anything wrong.  Comparing the situation to her biting a child is insane.  A dog is a dog and will do dog things no matter how well trained it is.  I mean seriously if your dog was at fault for attacking hers then her dog is at fault for not running for cover.  

Hey, seriously wouldn't it be funny if a bunch of us sent a check for $5.00, with some snide comment on the memo line like "my dog would have kicked your dogs butt too" or "see what happens when you mess with the big dogs".  Okay, now I'm just being mean.

Good luck MeMe and my heart does go out to you!  She's lucky you are a good person.

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## PandaPie

I think she brought her dogs over (unannounced), and she needs to take responsibility for that. I think you were way to nice about it as well. I know everyone else has probably said all of this, but it deserves reiterating...

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## jknudson

BTW Meme, it's probably a good idea NOT to get your homeowners insurance involved at all, whether you were thinking to or not...  I was discussing something like this with a customer at work, his sibling has a pitbull, their homeowners insurance company found out and dropped them for the dog being a liability, "lawsuit waiting to happen", although this particular dog has no history of aggression.

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## starmom

> BTW Meme, it's probably a good idea NOT to get your homeowners insurance involved at all, whether you were thinking to or not...  I was discussing something like this with a customer at work, his sibling has a pitbull, their homeowners insurance company found out and dropped them for the dog being a liability, "lawsuit waiting to happen", although this particular dog has no history of aggression.


Great insight- and accurate!! Do not get insurance company involved!! Our ins company has no idea that I own a rottie and pythons and boas. My son's ins co has no idea he owns a pit. 

Quite honestly, I am more afraid of the little ankle biters than any other animal!!

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## RoyalGuardian

no I don't think you need to take care of half the medical bills.  maybe a smaller contribution for good will and karma but as it stands it was in no way your fault. My dog ( black lab) attacked and killed another dog( husky) when it came into our back yard. Earlier on that same husky had EATEN my pet rabbit out of her hutch in my backyard and it had come back for seconds i guess. My dog loved my rabbit and knew that husky had killed her. it was before school and I was eating a pop tart when I heard my dog growling at the door. This was normal because of the many squirrels we have so I let her out not thinking that the huskie was in my back yard again.  well as you can probably guess I saw white fur flying and I ran outside just in time to see the husky running, covered in blood, with my dog at his heals. She chased him out of sight of my street and I was calling to her. She was soon galloping back with blood all over her ( his blood she suffered nothing) I put her inside and was secretly happy that my doggie had gotten revenge for my Rabbits death. but when the bus came and we were driving to school, as we turned on the main street I saw the husky lying in the gutter.. My dog had chased him to a busy street and he had gotten hit. of course I felt aweful and being only 13 I felt a tad responsible, but that dog was always getting away from his owners and he was not friendly as he had even attacked some children. the owners kid came to me and said I had stolen their dog and it was all my fault. I was 13 and I was not about to get into the middle of a dog fight before school. I felt bad for them but I felt in my heart that it was karma. That dog took my beloved rabbit away and my dog returned the favor. The people called the police but we were never charged. It was their fault their dog got out and into my yard. My dog was just protecting my house. So I kinda understand what your going through.  :Tears:  I miss my rabbit... she was pregnant when she died...

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## MeMe

Well...she isn't getting a dime from me.

She is just completely taken this whole situation and made it WAY bigger than it really had to be. She is running her mouth about me and my family and I am just completely done.

I am sending her a certified letter telling her that she and her animals aren't welcome on my property again.  

I'm pretty sure that she is going to ty to take it to court. She has talked to some friends about 'legalities'. 

She even made reference to this one case where a BURGULAR broke in someones house and a dog bit him so he sued the dog/home owner.  :Surprised:   Are you kidding me??? She is comparing herself to a scumbag that sued someone when he had no right to! ohhh...ok.   :Wink:   whatever.

eh...if she takes me to court I'll be way more than ready.   :Twisted: 


oh and no worries dudes...I would never give out insurance info.  :Very Happy:

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## dr del

Hi,

One angle I havent see discussed;

Didn't she knowingly endanger her own dog by her actions? I mean she intentionally took it into a place where she knew there was an animal that would react badly but didn't even bother to have her own dog controlled on a leash or anything - if she did that to a child I'm sure someone would be having words with her about it. 

I know if she did that to one of my animals I'd still be chewing on her bum.  :Mad: 


dr del

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## wilomn

In your certified letter include the legal definitions of the following:

Defamation of Character
Slander
Libel
Trespassing
and last but not least, highlight this part

Counter Suit

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## MeMe

> Hi,
> 
> One angle I havent see discussed;
> 
> Didn't she knowingly endanger her own dog by her actions? I mean she intentionally took it into a place where she knew there was an animal that would react badly but didn't even bother to have her own dog controlled on a leash or anything - if she did that to a child I'm sure someone would be having words with her about it. 
> 
> I know if she did that to one of my animals I'd still be chewing on her bum. 
> 
> 
> dr del



Actually ...your correct Derek. 

It's called a leash law and I found out today that she was in complete violation of it by not having him on it when she *left her house.*

The other is provacation...she knew my dog went nuts when she came here...yet she came _even after_ I told her how nervous it made me. 

_She_....has to prove to the court that _SHE_ went out of_ HER_ way to keep her dog *safe*. How can she when she clearly states that _WE_ knew Sway had a aggressive behavior towards other animals. 

 :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic):

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## mooingtricycle

> Well...she isn't getting a dime from me.
> 
> She is just completely taken this whole situation and made it WAY bigger than it really had to be. She is running her mouth about me and my family and I am just completely done.
> 
> I am sending her a certified letter telling her that she and her animals aren't welcome on my property again.  
> 
> I'm pretty sure that she is going to ty to take it to court. She has talked to some friends about 'legalities'. 
> 
> She even made reference to this one case where a BURGULAR broke in someones house and a dog bit him so he sued the dog/home owner.   Are you kidding me??? She is comparing herself to a scumbag that sued someone when he had no right to! ohhh...ok.    whatever.
> ...


Mention the fact that she DID NOT get vet care for that dog immediately. And be sure to contact the vet that took care of her dog and ask for a copy of the vet bill. I feel its well within your right to ask for it, since it was your dog that fought with hers, so that you have the paper work with DATES.

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## MeMe

> Mention the fact that she DID NOT get vet care for that dog immediately. And be sure to contact the vet that took care of her dog and ask for a copy of the vet bill. I feel its well within your right to ask for it, since it was your dog that fought with hers, so that you have the paper work with DATES.



yeap...

I asked her for it and she said she would send it to me but she hasn't yet. I am pretty sure she has to take him back to the vet on monday to get the tubes removed so I am sure if she is going to send it to me she will after that.

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## frankykeno

> In your certified letter include the legal definitions of the following:
> 
> Defamation of Character
> Slander
> Libel
> Trespassing
> and last but not least, highlight this part
> 
> Counter Suit


I love ya, Wes!  I'm calling you if anyone ever bugs me about anything LOL.

Meme, do remember when it comes to those vet bills she's going after you for - had this twit cared enough about her dog to take it IMMEDIATELY to a vet it likely would have been a quick check over, a shot of antibiotic and a confirmation that both dogs had their shots up to date.  What maybe $75 or so?

Because SHE did not show any kind of concern for this so called beloved pet, did not in fact take it for care until you pushed her to, it ended up far more ill making for a far higher vet bill.  You can hardly be held accountable for someone showing a lack of due diligence towards her pet.  Gee maybe she should be charged with animal neglect since she left that poor bitten little dog to suffer with a huge and untreated bite infection.....hmmmmm?

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## whitewolf

Just wondering....wouldn't that be considered animal abuse on the friend's part because she waited so long to give the dog vet attention? I certainly would consider it abuse and neglect for letting the animal suffer with possible internal injuries.

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