# Site General > Rainbow Bridge >  I think it's time to let her go...But how?

## shelliebear

Sequoia's cancer is, according to multiple vets, likely spreading.
She's on lots of meds--anti inflammatorys, painkillers, etc.
She whines most of the days, can't sleep or get comfortable, won't eat her food anymore--she's lost so much weight...She's a big ol lab and her ribs are poking out like crazy.
I said she would tell us when she's ready to go...Is she telling us?
I can't say for sure, because my heart aches so badly it is clouding my judgement. It hurts. I can't watch her anymore. She hurts. It hurts me. When she walks, she jumps because she cannot use her back leg; it looks like she may have injured her other back leg, or maybe she's tired of using it. I dont know.
She has a sadness in her eyes, she constantly wants to be around us. She will not leave, especially not my parents who she always loved the most....
I think it might be time to let her go, put her down...but how do I do this? Where do I muster the courage and strength and convince myself it's for the best when my mind screams NO! You cannot go back! she'll be gone! 
And above all, I'm being selfish...but for good reasons. Animals are so brave, for they do not fear death; they look it in the face, and when it is time to go, they go. But I am a human, and I think too much, too often; death scares me more than anything else, it is the ultimate unknown. The end of all ends to what we know, to what makes sense, to what IS...
how can I let her go to my worst fear? My nightmare? That which I do not understand and tell myself it's a good place when I dont KNOW??!?
I dont know. I dont. 
What do I do?  :Sad:  Puppy... :Sad:  don't go...  :Sad:  please? at least not where Ican't go too?

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## youbeyouibei

I'm so incredibly sorry for your struggle and hers as well. There is no easy way to do what you're contemplating but maybe your dog is offering you a way to find some solace and some belief in a Hereafter. If you look at the prospect you and she are facing, in her leaving this earth in a mortal form and freeing her of her earthly bounds in the context of her starting a journey for you to follow, maybe there is some comfort in that. Maybe it's that she's off the leash, running ahead of you on a walk to check the way, to make sure that nothing would threaten you and to make sure she gets to check and roll in all the smells before you can pull her off of them. Maybe she's starting the way, going first, to help ease your way when it's your time. She'll be there, to welcome you into the Hereafter in whatever context you believe, if indeed you do believe in something beyond this in the here and now. That's what I hope for, anyway, for me and mine and for you and she as well. I don't know your spiritual beliefs and am not trying to force mine on you in any way, shape or form but I'll pray for you and your puppy and that your heart's burden is eased and her pain is as well. 

This saying isn't mine but it sums it up better than I ever could:

" She is your friend, your partner,
your defender, your dog.
You are her life, her love, her leader. She will
be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat
of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of
such devotion." - Author Unknown

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_shelliebear_ (01-27-2012)

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## GoFride

You've said she "has a sadness in her eyes, she constantly wants to be around us...". I think she's looking to you for help, because she has complete trust in you. After all, you've always been there to help her with everything else, right? Why not this, too? It's heartbreaking, I know, but it sounds like it's time for you to help her with this final step.

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_mr.spooky_ (01-27-2012),_shelliebear_ (01-27-2012)

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## shelliebear

I just don't know how to do it. I know she needs help but...boy. I never, ever thought when we got her that this would happen. Next time I think about buying a pet, I'll remember...it can mean more than just having fun. I always knew it would be, but it just never was at the front of my mind.  :Sad: 
I have to be strong for her, but it hurts so much.  :Sad: 
I love my dog...I dont want her to go... :Sad:  It's not fair we outlive them. 
But maybe, she is telling me it IS time for her to go . :Sad: 
Wish I could go too, just to make sure it's safe.

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## DooLittle

Boy, I recently got an email about a storyof a family putting down a beloved family dog.  The "writer" was a vet and said that what the little boy said changed how he looked at things.  Wish i still had email, as i am probably not going to get this quite right.  But something about the reason people live longer is because they need to learn how to live love and laugh.  Dogs are born knowing how.  Then had a list of things that people can learn from dogs like stretch before you get up, run to greet loved ones when they get home.  It was really neat, anyhow, pets have a very special place in our hearts.  You have a tough decision ahead of you.  We recently went through this to, and I know how hard it can be, and how your heart just breaks.  What you have to know is that there is nothing you can do to fix her, and if she has no quality of life, then it is time for you to free her from her pain.  Only time will heal yours. She may leave your life, but never your heart.  So sorry.

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_mr.spooky_ (01-27-2012)

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## RedViper

all i can say is be strong for her. i lost my dog last year and it was sooo hard, iv had him 80% of his life and he was my best friend, its still hard thinking of it but it has got easyer, they say time is a healer, reading this made it all come back so i know how your feeling, but from what u'v put it look's like she is saying its time.....

I wish you all the best to you and yours  :Sad:

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## twistedtails

Sorry to hear you have to go through what you are. Animals ARE our best freinds. They are there for us in time of happiness, sadness, they don't talk back, and they just listen when you need to talk. I have a dog that I love like you do. She is a Shepard-Husky mix and withering away also. Slowly but losing her hearing and ambition, she is 13 years old. Even being a man, just reading your post brought tears to my eyes. Remember when you got your little puppy you made a commitment to provide that animal whatever it needs to live as it were a free soul. At this point, it sounds like she needs to be set free of her pain and bondage. I can only imagine how hard it is. Hope you can muster the strength and courage to do what is right for your little friend. :Tears:

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## SilverDemon

Honestly, the best thing you CAN do for her at this point is just stay with her as you help her ease along to that final journey.  At least with putting her to sleep, you can ensure that her passing is painless, and you can be there for it to hold her in your arms.

Remember, she loves you with all her heart, and it'll be the greatest comfort if her favorite people are there with her when she breathes her last.

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## shelliebear

"You're running, you're running, you're running away; looking at me with those eyes, little puppy, do you want to play?
Got those big brown eyes, those furry pokey ears
The waggin tail, when you sense people are near
The love in your heart, the kindness in your mind
In every way, you are so right; why must we leave you behind?
I cannot go with you
I cannot keep you here
I must let you free,
but how will you forgive me?
I couldn't take away your pain, the way you took away mine
With your sweet doggie smile, your precious hugs and kisses
I can't even give us more time.
Can't make you happy, like you did with us
Made our hearts swell so much with love, they could've burst.
Now you're no longer running, running away 
You sit in one spot, you don't want to play
Where is the Sequoia we brought home that day?
Your eyes, they are sad
Where did you go? Where are you going still?
And why do you have to go at all?
Now you're slipping and slipping and slipping away....
I reach out to grab...
and you still slip away...
i dont want to let go. 
there's not much left.
puppy, sweet puppy, if you must go
i hope it brings your mind and heart rest....
though i will have none...
i cant finish it. i have a lump in my throat as big as the moon  :Sad:   :Tears:  :Tears:  :Please:

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## L.West

I've followed this thread from the beginning and have posted to you my thoughts on the situation.  I do think it is definitely time to do the right thing and put her out of her misery.  

As I posted before, I too have had to go thru this but my first priority was to make sure that my dog had a decent quality of life without pain - if I couldn't be assured that it was the case then I knew it was time to do the right thing and have her put down.

Yes it is hard and very painful but you are her owner/best friend - you have to be strong and do what is needed.  Please don't put this off if you truly believe she is in the sort of pain you have described - "you" must take care of her by helping her to pass into doggie heaven.

Please don't continue to put this off - I fear from your description that your dog is simply suffering because you can't bear the thought of losing her.  Be strong and do the right thing.

My prayers go out to you and your pooch.

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## pigfat

I agree, while losing a pet, specially one like a dog that shows SOOOOOO much affection can be extremely difficult, the right thing to do is to take her and put her to sleep. Put yourself in her situation, whining from hurting, not being able to get comfortable...I'm sure she has lived a great life with you, and that she gave you many great memories and made comforted you when you needed it. Now you need to comfort her and be there with her when she passes away. Shes in so much pain and I know she wants you to be there with her when she goes, so end her pain and let her go. It will be better for the both of you.

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## shelliebear

We have been monitoring her and in touch with the vet, we aren't putting her off, the vet was thinking it was not time to go in the last thread.
We have to go see her again and see what she too thinks of the situation as she is a medical professional and we notice the symptoms--she will know what they mean.
not delaying by any means,
but making 100% sure.
 :Tears:

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## shelliebear

and i so, so appreciate everyone's in put, it means so much. i have told my mother and father everything you all have said. thank you so much.

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DooLittle (01-27-2012)

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## Kamille Kirkendoll

:Tears: 

I had to fight tears. I, too, am terrified of death, and therefore, would hate to see a beloved pet go that route. We had to put down our pup, Daisy, a few years ago due to an unsuccessful surgery. It was painful, but no animal deserves to suffer. 

From the way you described her, she seems to have had a happy life.

You all have my love and positive wishes.

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## Kinra

I'm sorry you have to go through this.  The thought of losing my dog breaks my heart, but death inevitable.  It sounds like your poor girl is in a lot of pain and it is most likely her time.  

I have a friend who refused to put his cat down.  She was old, sick and in a lot of pain.  She wasn't eating and hardly moved.  Her illness eventually progressed to the point where she was deaf and blind.  But because he selfishly wanted to keep her alive as long as possible, she died alone in the middle of the night.  It's not exactly the same situation, but you have to think about what is best for your pet.  Do you want to end their suffering or prolong it until finally their illness and pain get to be too much and they let go? 

If there is no chance your dog will get better I hope you can find the strength to let her go peacefully surrounded by the ones she loves.   :Hug:

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## DellaF

So sorry you have to go through this with your dog. I know how it is to loose a beloved animal. I have lost a few in my life time. It hurts so bad to loose them. Sometimes you have to do what is best for them and not think about how your going to feel. Seems like it is your call as to what happens to her. 

This may sound a little crazy to you but my family and I went through a similar situation with my father. He was in the hospital for 3 months. He had an aorta anurysm (can't spell it). The surgery didn't turn out well. He suffered for 3 months because we didn't want to let him go. He had so much happen to him. We were waiting for him to say enough is enough but he never would. Deep down we know that he wouldn't have wanted to live long like he was. If we had to do it all over again he would and we would not have let him suffer like he did. What he went through because we didn't want to let go still haunts me 3 years later. I know you probably think well he was human and dogs are dogs. If you are like me your pets are like you kids you would do anything for them.

When they put them to sleep they go so fast. No more suffering.

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## Fila

I waited too long and was not strong enough to put down what I considered to be my only son. I was selfish and he suffered for it. My only real regret in life so far was my inability to let him go peacefully, I was with him, but I think about it often that I did not let him go and I work for a vet. It has been 6 years, and I am still haunted by it and tears are streaming down my face as I type. Maybe it would be the same had we let him go instead of him just passing, I dont know the answer only what it is and how I feel now and I am no kid....

*Fila*

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## SlitherinSisters

Oh my gosh that's so sad  :Sad:  We had to put down my first dog when I was 17. She was 13 or 14 years old and had a lot of health problems. She was on meds for Epilepsy and pain, she had water around her heart, arthritis, and lord knows what else. She got so bad that she bit me a couple times when I pet her because she was hurting so bad. I had to carry her home so many times after she would have a seizure while out on a walk and she was a Dalmatian, not a small dog. It was just awful. She was an awesome dog, but we couldn't stand to let her suffer any longer. Even the vet techs were in tears when we put her down because she was such an awesome dog. They agreed it was the best thing to do for her and sent us a sympathy letter saying it was the best thing to do, but it still hurt really bad and I felt like I killed my dog. It wasn't till years later that I realized how lucky our pets are to have the dignity of death rather than sitting around and suffering like we have to when we are beyond repair. 

If she can't live a happy pain free life, then it's the best thing  :Hug:

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Fila (03-01-2012)

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## shelliebear

We are putting her down sometime this week.
I'm dreading it like...like...i dont even know...

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## DooLittle

That is the worst feeling in your heart and stomach, knowing it is coming.  I know how you feel, and I am so very sorry.  Just remember, she won't be suffering anymore.  If you think you can handle it, be there with her when she goes.  It's hard, but nice to be able to say good bye.   :Tears:

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## shelliebear

We're puttnig her down tomorrow. Dont know whether to cry or throw up. I dont want to go, but if it were me I wouldnt want to be alone. I'm going with her. 
Since this evening she growls at me anytime I get near her. She looks like she might bite me. I cannot touch her, I cannot kiss her. She gets angry if I sit near her, or talk to her. My parents can touch her, but not me. I dont know what I did wrong. I might not even get to hug her goodbye before she goes.
But she will not be alone. My mom is going with her, and my dad, and me too. Dont know about my siblings.
I love you Sequoia...
i'm going to be with you till the very end, like i always promised and like i'm sure you would do for me....

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## shelliebear

I don't like this. I DONT LIKE THIS

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## shelliebear

kinda want to slam my head in a door and just fall unconscious and miss it tomorrow but i know she needs me. why does it hurt so bad? why? how could anything hurt this much?

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## DooLittle

The pain is proof that you are a human capable of love.  I know what you are going through, and it sucks more than anything.  I know the feeling like you are just going to throw up.  I felt that too before we had to put down my baby.  Tomorrow, will probably be worse, so be strong for her.  Then at least she won't be in pain anymore, and you can get started with the painful grieving process.  You may be able to hug her at the end, my vet sedated my baby before the whole process, so its not as stressful.  And afterwards, the left us all the time we needed with him before we left.  You could maybe take a stamp pad, and get a paw print too.   Are you having her cremated?  If so, and you are interested, I know a lady who makes beautiful dichronic glass necklaces, with a tiny bit of the cremains in them.  Pm me if you would like her info.  I am so so so sorry.   :Tears:

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## shelliebear

She's gone.

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## shelliebear

She's gone. Saying it again to make sure it's not a dream....

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## shelliebear

I was in the room with her. We all were, the whole time. I watched her go. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. My dad and fiance cried and they're grown men. Her last memories, the doctor told us, would be when she was giving the injection. We were around her, she could see us. We were all touching her, saying we loved her. And I watched her go.
It was the hardest thing I've ever seen. The hardest thing I've ever done. My head hurts. My heart feels like someone threw it under a bus, stomped on it, spit on it, ran it over some more. Everything is spinning and I'm dizzy. 
that was so hard....
Wow...
But she's gone.
Goodbye Sequoia. I've always lovedyou, always will....goodbye...

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## purplemuffin

:Hug:  I know how much it hurts. I have had to put my own dogs to sleep..some long before when their time should have come..It hurts. I know it does. But you did the right thing, and you were there with her as she went to sleep in peace. She had her family with her til the very end. I know she would thank you if she could. I know it hurts, and I know only time can heal. Just have faith in yourself and be strong with your family. She is not in pain anymore, and she will never hurt again. I know it's sad, but you don't have to be sad for her. Yes, you'll miss her, but at least she's in peace. Eventually you will feel peace through this decision as well. Until then.. We are all here for you.  :Hug:

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Fila (03-01-2012)

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