Being married vs. being single

So after a heated discussion with my parents, I've decided (planned already a few years back) that I won't get married. Mind you, I'm 17, and I might change my mind, but as of now, I'm firmly stating I'll be staying single for the rest of my life. I've been in relationships (well, teenage ones) and I can 100% say that they're not my cup of tea. I'm more kept to myself, and have a hard time expressing myself, not to mention I'm not very fond of my looks. Back to the main point(s)! I believe if you're not married (just an assumption, and based off my cousins who recently got married) you have more 'freedom' and not bound by anyone or anything (well, except the law of course). I won't have to live by anyone else rules, I'll be free to do what I want, when I want, won't have to worry about saving money for kids or another person, won't be putting up with in-laws (LOL), and I'll be able to live comfortably and be able to expand and start my hobbies. My parents on the other hand (mind you they're an arranged marriage, it was the norm in India back in the day) and they're completely opposed to such an idea. And my grandma even worse. She threatened to send my to India and get a wife and to beat me with a pan if I say such a thing again haha. Back to the point once again, my parents believe you obtain 'better morals', you're not lonely (don't really care about this, seeing as I don't have many friends, and hardly any close ones), happy and you get to sire the next generation. We've been butting heads about this topic ever since my cousin got married last year, and my uncles have even started making bets about if I'm getting married or not. Especially to another Indian, haha. I told them that race doesn't play a part in falling in love, but, I'm still a firm believer that I won't get married.

So, after all my dabbling nonsense, comes the main point(s):

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

and there's some more, but, I can't think of it. So what's your take on the marriage topic?

Dude your 17, who the heck knows what your thoughts or views of anything will be in just a few years. You will not be the same person you are today by a long shot.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Dude your 17, who the heck knows what your thoughts or views of anything will be in just a few years. You will not be the same person you are today by a long shot.

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Yea, I know that, but I'm just wondering what's everyone else view on marriage after talking to my parents about it. Just giving some background info the matter and all.

Yeah, you will not even recognize your 17 year old self by the time you are 25 even, and especially by the time you are 30.

Being married adds that little bit of stability and something to fall back on when relationships get hard.
However, when they are too hard it makes it complicated. Really though it would be fine if we weren't so financially intertwined.
I'd say just get a pre-nup, and give every relationship your all...that way you can give your all and know you're doing your best, with no regrets.
That's the only way you get a head in life...give it your all, at work, in relationships...you have to be open to change and to bettering yourself.
But, if you really hate the idea of being tied down and committed to one person, well then it's not for you! But then neither is any serious relationship. Which is fine, and it's awesome to know that about yourself a head of time!

As others have stated, you're 17, trust me it'll change. There aren't too many people who willingly stay single forever. It's human nature to crave a physical and emotional bond with another person. I got married at 17, and divorced at close to 20. I'm a single mom to a very spirited almost 6 year old. I'd love to have someone to come home to, to hold, to vent and talk to, to make a life with. I'm only 23 and I don't even recognize the person I was when I was 17.

Trust me, once you get out of high school and/or college, give it a few years...you're going to crave that same thing. I'm socially awkward, though I hide it well, I'm an introvert, I absolutely suck at meeting new people...I still want that bond with someone. Heck, I miss what I had just a few months ago with my boyfriend, he used to live with me and moved out.

Regardless, it doesn't matter what our opinions are, you're free to do what you please. I, however, don't see a sense in having a heated argument with your parents about marriage at 17 years old. Indian or not, it's not worth the argument since you're only 17 and living in America. Shrug it off, don't bring it up, and see how you feel in a few years.

P.S. relationships should never be about being tied down or having to follow another persons rules. It's about a mutual respect and commitment, and if you ever found the right person you won't mind giving up a few stupid things to make them happy, and vice versa.

I'm fairly close to three times your age, and when I was 17, I never wanted to get married. Then I got married...twice, and divorced...twice. And now, I don't want to get married any more.

There are far too many cows out there giving away the milk for free, and at my age, none of them want to get married either ;)

I say do whatever the heck you want to do, until you want to do something else, then do that.

The best plan I've ever had in life was no plan at all :)

I have never gotten married, and it has allowed me to live the life that I wanted to.

Sent from my Motorola ATRIX using Tapatalk 2.

Hey Slim were/are you in the military?

Finish puberty before you start thinking about marriage bud lol.:oops:
(Unlike all these old people^^^ Im only 2 years older than you so im not trying to talk down to you at all. Im also not married either haha.)

As a 19 year old i look back at my 17 year old self, thats ONLY 2 years ago, and cant figure out what the hell i was thinking lol. I wont go into details here, unless you want me to lol, but i did alot of stupid stuff. I dont regret any of it, though some things i probably should:D... Graduating high school and realizing i should actually do something with my life made me grow up real fast.

So my point is... Focus on school now and worry about getting good grades, SAT's and collge stuff. Just be a teenager, bc if you dont then itll fly by and youll have missed all of it worrying about stupid girls. If you cant find a wife yet, dont worry you have plenty of time. I wouldnt look for one yet though, bc then youll miss out on all the college girls ;)

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Originally Posted by Slim

There are far too many cows out there giving away the milk for free, and at my age, none of them want to get married either ;)

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CLASSIC Slim quote right there ladies and gentlemen.:rofl:

However, i would avoid comparing any women to livestock. It has NOT worked out well from my experiences.:rofl:

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Originally Posted by Andybill

Hey Slim were/are you in the military?

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Yes, Sir. Retired after 23 years active duty in the Air Force, then worked for them for 4 years as a USAF Civilian.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

However, i would avoid comparing any women to livestock. It has NOT worked out well from my experiences.:rofl:

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Difference is, my friend, I don't make that comparison when they have their hearing aids in...

I've been married for two years now, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. While there are times I just want to be alone an play D3 or work the reptiles over for cleaning and feeding, my wife enjoys the animals too and is a gamer as well. I think that you have this idealized version of marriage where you don't find someone into things you like.

Mark my words, if you're still into keeping in 5 years or so then you're going to run into a girl who keeps just like you and has some same interests as you. You won't be able to help it, and you'll probably forget that you don't want to be married.

It's one of those things that in your point of few, everyone actively looks for love. When the actuality is that love just...happens and I frankly find it surprising that arranged marriages still work. But, I guess most couples who were arranged understand some form of no freedom or choice and also understand that there is no option. What's done is done and you make life the best with it. You're from a generation who knows the freedoms of the world and the options you have when it comes to life and love. :)


Browsing on Tapatalk through my iPhone! :)

Teenage relationships are crazy dude dont use them as examples!
Well ok sometimes they dont get better lol!
But yeah your way young yet, you'll find a nice girl someday.

Sometimes its hard though, my "baggage" is all of my pets.
Some guys dont like that stuff. I'm sure it'd be harder to find a girl who liked it, especially reptiles.
It is nice being single because no one can tell you what you have do, which pet you can have, if you can leave laundry on the floor, etc.

Luckily for me, I found a boyfriend that is just as messy around the house, likes animals even more (I didnt think it was possible), and has pets himself. Granted our house is pretty much a zoo but hey I love it that way. Never a dull moment.

I would say though with relationships, just dont settle for "pretty good", and pick someone you just have fun with and wont ask you to change.
At least if you dont find that special person you wont be dissapointed then.

I had the same views at your age. 13 years later, and the one thing I can tell you is, once you met "her" everything you ever thought changes. I never wanted marriage, DEFINITELY no kids and no commitments. Once I met my wife, everything changed. I now have a wife and child and I can tell you, I've never been happier. Think however you want to now, hell, you're only 17. Be a teenager, do stupid stuff and have fun while it lasts. Because, once you meet "her" your world will get turned upside down. :gj:

i dont remember what this quote was from or who it was from but i remember reading it. I always thought it applied to me:
"For a marriage to work the couple doesnt have to like the same stuff, they just have to hate the same stuff."

So for me, i dont need to find a girl who likes the Patriots. I just need to find a girl who hates the Jets. :gj:

i been there too saying stuff like that about not wanting to graduate to have kids or get married most of it was out of anger or the tought about not being able to do what ever you want..

now im 21 graduated about to be a father and talking about marriage those were things i never tought i'd be doing would i change them? no, not for anything in the world im looking forward to being able to hold my baby girl in 4 months and being resposible for my own little family and eventualy a husband to my girlfriend so we can live our life how we want..

just enjoy you life when ever you ready things will just fall into place

I see a few things going on here. First off, almost everyone resists their parents' vision of what their life should be, especially as a teenager. That's fine. You're your own person, and you have to make your own decisions. Weigh the input they give you and decide for yourself, but don't assume that your opinion will never change, and allow yourself to re-evaluate from time to time.

Speaking as a 33 year old who got married less than 2 months ago, circumstances change as your life progresses. For a long time, I thought marriage was just a straight-up bad idea for me, but eventually I realized that the girl I'd been with for a long time was the only person I ever wanted to be with. Gradually my opinion of marriage changed, and after 10 years together, we're finally married, and now my expectation is that the ring on my left hand will be there until I die.

My advice to you is this: don't cave in. Don't let your parents make your life decisions for you, but also don't assume a final outcome one way or the other. Your opinion may never change, and you may be single for your whole life, or it could go the other way. At 17, you have a lot of life still to experience. I'd just say try to make the best decisions you can. As long as you can look back and not regret too many of the choices you made, you're doing alright, married or not.

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Originally Posted by theReptileGuy

So after a heated discussion with my parents, I've decided (planned already a few years back) that I won't get married. Mind you, I'm 17, and I might change my mind, but as of now, I'm firmly stating I'll be staying single for the rest of my life. I've been in relationships (well, teenage ones) and I can 100% say that they're not my cup of tea. I'm more kept to myself, and have a hard time expressing myself, not to mention I'm not very fond of my looks. Back to the main point(s)! I believe if you're not married (just an assumption, and based off my cousins who recently got married) you have more 'freedom' and not bound by anyone or anything (well, except the law of course). I won't have to live by anyone else rules, I'll be free to do what I want, when I want, won't have to worry about saving money for kids or another person, won't be putting up with in-laws (LOL), and I'll be able to live comfortably and be able to expand and start my hobbies. My parents on the other hand (mind you they're an arranged marriage, it was the norm in India back in the day) and they're completely opposed to such an idea. And my grandma even worse. She threatened to send my to India and get a wife and to beat me with a pan if I say such a thing again haha. Back to the point once again, my parents believe you obtain 'better morals', you're not lonely (don't really care about this, seeing as I don't have many friends, and hardly any close ones), happy and you get to sire the next generation. We've been butting heads about this topic ever since my cousin got married last year, and my uncles have even started making bets about if I'm getting married or not. Especially to another Indian, haha. I told them that race doesn't play a part in falling in love, but, I'm still a firm believer that I won't get married.

So, after all my dabbling nonsense, comes the main point(s):

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

and there's some more, but, I can't think of it. So what's your take on the marriage topic?

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There is a time and a place for everything. I got married last year after six years with my now wife. We are expecting our first child this fall. Before I met her I had a string of 6 month relationships going back to when I was your age. I am 33 now. Don't take it as an insult but you are 17. You don't know anything. Good news is that your not suppose to know anything. You are suppose to spend the rest of your life getting a clue. At nearly twice your age, I know twice as much as you. Whats two times zero? Here is my advice. You say you don't want a wife and kids. Don't stay with anyone for more than 6 months or so unless you think this is the person I want to be with forever. Life is too short to waste time with people who aren't right for you. Now you might find that you never find anyone that makes you feel like settling down is better than being single and that's OK. The key is not to settle. I can tell you that it is possible to find the person who changes your mind. So stop telling your parents you never want to settle down. Tell them you are going to wait till you find the love of your life before you do settle down. Surely they don't want to pressure you to settle.

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Originally Posted by theReptileGuy

So after a heated discussion with my parents, I've decided (planned already a few years back) that I won't get married. Mind you, I'm 17, and I might change my mind, but as of now, I'm firmly stating I'll be staying single for the rest of my life. I've been in relationships (well, teenage ones) and I can 100% say that they're not my cup of tea. I'm more kept to myself, and have a hard time expressing myself, not to mention I'm not very fond of my looks. Back to the main point(s)! I believe if you're not married (just an assumption, and based off my cousins who recently got married) you have more 'freedom' and not bound by anyone or anything (well, except the law of course). I won't have to live by anyone else rules, I'll be free to do what I want, when I want, won't have to worry about saving money for kids or another person, won't be putting up with in-laws (LOL), and I'll be able to live comfortably and be able to expand and start my hobbies. My parents on the other hand (mind you they're an arranged marriage, it was the norm in India back in the day) and they're completely opposed to such an idea. And my grandma even worse. She threatened to send my to India and get a wife and to beat me with a pan if I say such a thing again haha. Back to the point once again, my parents believe you obtain 'better morals', you're not lonely (don't really care about this, seeing as I don't have many friends, and hardly any close ones), happy and you get to sire the next generation. We've been butting heads about this topic ever since my cousin got married last year, and my uncles have even started making bets about if I'm getting married or not. Especially to another Indian, haha. I told them that race doesn't play a part in falling in love, but, I'm still a firm believer that I won't get married.

So, after all my dabbling nonsense, comes the main point(s):

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

and there's some more, but, I can't think of it. So what's your take on the marriage topic?

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LOL! I've been married for over twice as long as you have been alive.

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Originally Posted by theReptileGuy

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

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Sorry I forgot to answer your questions.

I got married for the first time at age 32.

I believe that for a marriage to work you have to be truly happy before you get married. When you find happiness people will want to be around you. Happiness is a desirable quality.. If you are happy and you find someone who is happy on their own then being together can make you both happier. Marriage is a social and legal contract. It has nothing to do with happiness.

Being married doesn't restrict you from anything. Married people sleep around, ignore their families or even leave them all together. Married people waste their lives in bars or at work. Married people do all the things single people do. If you are doing marriage right it doesn't hold you back. I don't sleep with women other than my wife. What I get in return is far more valuable than any fling I have had. I dated a lot before I met my wife. I know exactly what I am "missing". If you get married you won't be giving anything up. You will have already gladly thrown those things away. If you feel like you are giving things up you shouldn't be getting married.

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Originally Posted by Egapal

At nearly twice your age, I know twice as much as you. Whats two times zero?

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2 x 0 = 0
Are you saying that everything you know now, you knew when you were 17? lol

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Originally Posted by theReptileGuy

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

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~ I wouldn't mind getting married, and if I was currently single I wouldn't have minded staying single either. I'm totally fine being single/alone, and I've never been the kind to "need" to be in a relationship.

~ No.

~ Some things sure - if your SO isn't comfortable with x, y, or z then you probably won't do those things anymore. But if you care for the person it probably won't matter giving up those things (speaking VERY broadly here).

I am 21 years old in a committed relationship. When I was younger, early teens, I never wanted to get married or have kids. Now I wouldn't mind getting married, but I'm still sticking to the "no kids ever" thing. I'll stick with my snakes and pets :gj:

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

2 x 0 = 0
Are you saying that everything you know now, you knew when you were 17? lol

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Boy, if I had a rolled up newspaper I would smack you with it! :rofl:

I also will agree with the "you're 17, things change as you get older" notion. I felt the same way when I was 17. I just wanted to play around and I did. Now that I'm older my priorities have changed and I've been happily married to my wonderful wife for 3.5 years. You're young. Play around and do what makes you happy. Marriage isn't for everyone, but don't discredit the idea just yet. Plus, you don't have to be married to be in a loving, committed relationship. "Marriage" is just a word on paper, really. I love my wife the same regardless of what a piece of paper says, how the government taxes us or if we have a metal hoop on our fingers.

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Originally Posted by theReptileGuy

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

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-I'm 27 and getting married in 3 months. And I'm soooo glad I didn't make this decision at 17 because I was a crazy, know-it-all and it would have failed miserably.

-marriage doesn't equal happiness though there is a lot to be said for companionship, especially as you get much older. While Mr. Slim might be out milking cows in his old age, that might not be your thing at 75.

-sure marriage restricts you from certain things. Like marrying someone else... And... Ummmm legally I can't think of anything else. The marriage isnt what keeps you from packing up and moving across country in the middle of the night if you get a wild hair, the commitment to your partner does. Yes there are things I have "given up" to be in this relationship, but nothing that mattered in the first place. Things change when you become half of a whole. You have someone else's feelings to consider, someone that has different ideas and compromise will have to happen sometimes.



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im 31 and married. love my wife and 2 kids we have together. i wouldnt trade it for the world.
on the other hand i work with a guy who was never married, has no kids and changes girl friends regularly.
hes a motor cyclist who is really in to the whole freedom bit. he owns 15 cars, mostly muscle. 3 harleys. maxes out his contributions to his 401k within months of the new year and still has too much money.
hes the most lonely, ornery depressed looking guy i know. hes never happy and just an @ss to everyone at work unless your a drinking buddy.
ill stick with my wife and kids
adam jeffery

My husband is my best friend in the entire world!!
We were together for 9 yrs before we tied the knot and we are even more in love now!

FYI - Playing is more fun with some beside you
Dinner is more enjoyable with some to share it with
SEX is way better with someone else
Bad news is more easily shared
Bills are easier split
Heck, cleaning rat bins is less work with two!

Please Dont sign off on the entire thing...

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Finish puberty before you start thinking about marriage bud lol.:oops:
(Unlike all these old people^^^ Im only 2 years older than you so im not trying to talk down to you at all. Im also not married either haha.)

As a 19 year old i look back at my 17 year old self, thats ONLY 2 years ago, and cant figure out what the hell i was thinking lol. I wont go into details here, unless you want me to lol, but i did alot of stupid stuff. I dont regret any of it, though some things i probably should:D... Graduating high school and realizing i should actually do something with my life made me grow up real fast.

So my point is... Focus on school now and worry about getting good grades, SAT's and collge stuff. Just be a teenager, bc if you dont then itll fly by and youll have missed all of it worrying about stupid girls. If you cant find a wife yet, dont worry you have plenty of time. I wouldnt look for one yet though, bc then youll miss out on all the college girls ;)

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Woah I totally thought you were atleast 21 haha wow ANYWAYS I have been on and off with the same guy since I was 15....yeah that was quite a few years ago lets just say and now I am married to him and it has actually brought us together, he is my best friend and the greatest companion I could ask for. We share everything and we help each other out in times of need. He is always there to comfort me and there when I have to squeeze the crap out of his hand while getting a tattoo haha I love being married I honestly do. But wait till you are atleast 21 to make up your mind only then will you start to realize what you trully want you are way to young to even worry about such a thing. Oh and the college girl idea is good to think about haha have fun in college and you will find someone.

Oooh boy, gotta love those cultural/generational clashes, huh?

It'll take a while, but eventually you'll run into people at the same maturity level as you, and suddenly relationships get a whole lot better. Don't let your family push you into anything you're not ready for, but also realize that if they don't want to change they probably won't, and practice some auto-responses for their more frustrating questions.

As for me, I think it would be nice to get married to my partner eventually, although I honestly think about it more for the financial/insurance benefits, especially if I get better health insurance than she does. We've got some unusual circumstances going on that could put hiccups in the plan though (trans* girlfriend, either we get married and she has to lie about herself, or we wait until our state makes full-rights marriage legal for everybody).

I definitely don't believe that you HAVE to be married to be happy. You just have to live life in a way that makes you feel fulfilled. If that involves finding a wonderful partner and possibly raising kids, awesome! If it doesn't and you're happy living with your wonderful snake collection, still awesome! Nobody can define happiness for another person.

Getting married probably restricts you from sleeping with other people, if thats what's agreed on and you stand by it. Other than that, the only things it should limit are things you and your partner agree on. For example, my partner is totally fine with my snakes, she's cool with my rats, but she absolutely puts her foot down when it comes to tarantulas. So, while I thought it would be nice to get back into them, I've agreed not to and I'm totally okay with it. Just means more room for snakes ;p

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Originally Posted by adamjeffery

im 31 and married. love my wife and 2 kids we have together. i wouldnt trade it for the world.
on the other hand i work with a guy who was never married, has no kids and changes girl friends regularly.
hes a motor cyclist who is really in to the whole freedom bit. he owns 15 cars, mostly muscle. 3 harleys. maxes out his contributions to his 401k within months of the new year and still has too much money.
hes the most lonely, ornery depressed looking guy i know. hes never happy and just an @ss to everyone at work unless your a drinking buddy.
ill stick with my wife and kids
adam jeffery

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HAHAHA!

Im married 4 yrs and lovin it! gotta beautiful 10 month old baby girl that I wouldnt trade for all the snakes in the NERD facility and a super supportive (did i mention smokin hot!) wife that lets me do whatever I want ... well mostly but I couldnt ask for a better supporting cast. without her I wouldnt be able to do a lot of the things I want to do.... I guess if it happens it happens...

Well it looks like I'm in the minority here. When I was 17, I couldn't wait to be married and have kids. Seriously. The only thing that kept me from getting pregnant was fear of what my dad would do to me (and that wonderful little pill...but you get the point.)

I'm now 25 (yes...still a 'youngin' compared to some of you) and I've been married for almost 4 years. THANK GOD I didn't get pregnant by the (male donkey) I was dating when I was 17. We don't have any kids-yet. He brought to the relationship a daughter and while I only feel like a part time parent because of the custody arrangement, I love her all the same, but that's a story for a different daytime television show. We don't have kids because we're not in a financial position to support them.

My husband doesn't restrict anything I do. In fact, he makes most of the things I do better because I'm doing them with him and sharing that experience with him. The things I don't do because I'm married (i.e. sleep around, randomly move across country in the middle of the night, etc.) I have no desire to do because I love and respect him and value him.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but please please please believe me when I tell you that when you look back on your 17-year old self in 5 SHORT years, you won't recognize you. Heck...I don't recognize me from 2 years ago, much less 5 or 10! And when you find that person (if you do...) that you WANT to spend the rest of your life with, you'll wonder why you ever thought you didn't want to get married. Never say never...

Everyone claims that you'll change your mind later down the road. I wish people wouldn't say this because it's not always true. At 17 I had no desire to get married. I'll be 24 in a few months and I still feel the same.

I watched my mother go in and out of failed relationships for a decent portion of my teenage years. I'm not going to bother. It isn't worth the hassle.

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Originally Posted by Andybill

HAHAHA!

Im married 4 yrs and lovin it! gotta beautiful 10 month old baby girl that I wouldnt trade for all the snakes in the NERD facility and a super supportive (did i mention smokin hot!) wife that lets me do whatever I want ... well mostly but I couldnt ask for a better supporting cast. without her I wouldnt be able to do a lot of the things I want to do.... I guess if it happens it happens...

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I was just going to say the same thing exactly. My beautiful wife gave me my 8 month old son and he is the most amazing thing i have ever seen. Relationships can get tough, but the good times are totally worth the hardship.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Everyone claims that you'll change your mind later down the road. I wish people wouldn't say this because it's not always true. At 17 I had no desire to get married. I'll be 24 in a few months and I still feel the same.

I watched my mother go in and out of failed relationships for a decent portion of my teenage years. I'm not going to bother. It isn't worth the hassle.

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Not everyone is saying that OP will change their mind, just that you change as a person a lot between 17-30 and you shouldn't make any rash decisions.

Oh and just because your mother had bad taste or couldn't make it work doesn't mean you can't. Don't let her actions be the only reason you make that choice.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk 2

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Originally Posted by jbean7916

Not everyone is saying that OP will change their mind, just that you change as a person a lot between 17-30 and you shouldn't make any rash decisions.

Oh and just because your mother had bad taste or couldn't make it work doesn't mean you can't. Don't let her actions be the only reason you make that choice.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk 2

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I've tried, I've failed, I'm not interested in it.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Everyone claims that you'll change your mind later down the road. I wish people wouldn't say this because it's not always true. At 17 I had no desire to get married. I'll be 24 in a few months and I still feel the same.

I watched my mother go in and out of failed relationships for a decent portion of my teenage years. I'm not going to bother. It isn't worth the hassle.

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24 is still young, my buddy is finally starting to settle down and it took him past thirty.

ONLY YOU know what's right for you.

Can that change? Certainly.

If being single is what feels right for you, then go for it.

But don't be surprised if someone comes into your life that changes your mind entirely! That's what happened to me. :D

Ill be getting married in October to my best friend. He isn't a hindrance, he isn't a burden, he isn't underfoot.

He is my adventure buddy, my personal comedian and chef, partner in crime, my confidant.

It isn't like dating, it's like hanging out with my best friend. Sometimes we may need some time alone or with other friends, and that's ok.

We don't play crappy relationship mind games. We play Skyrim. We don't run around on each other, we exercise together. Somehow we aren't tired of each other yet.

Not saying that you will change your mind about getting married, but when I think back on being 17 (24 now) I think 'WOW, I was a baby!'. If you don't believe me, then just wait. You will see.

Most important thing is to not worry about what you are going to do in the future and don't dwell in the past. Live for whats happening now and don't have regrets.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

2 x 0 = 0
Are you saying that everything you know now, you knew when you were 17? lol

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No I am saying that I was clueless at 17 and now I am 33 and clueless. The more you learn the more you realize you don't yet know.

When it comes to marriage, or even relationships for that matter, the only thing that counts is what you two feel for each other. I'm 29, been married twice, divorced once, and used to say that I was never getting married/have kids. The first marriage was a big mistake but taught me a lot. The second one, I used what I learned and married one of my best friends. The only person I'm closer to is my sister. We have an odd relationship or so I'm told. We don't do everything together, don't share a ton of interests, and our financials are kept completely separate. The only three things that we have in common are we love to game (how we met in the first place), our morals, and what we believe is financially important. This allows both of us our freedom while at the same time, gives us the support when we need it (not to mention that sex is much better than by myself). When my sister had a problem and I decided to drive halfway across the country with no notice, he told me to enjoy the trip and call if I needed anything. When he's wanted to go to a major card tournament for a weekend with the boys, I told him the same thing. We do a lot apart but because we trust each other, it doesn't affect our relationship. He's not an animal person but tolerates the zoo I brought with me. He'll never go to reptile shows or help with taking care of them, but I'm ok with that. If he insisted that we stay 'closer' or that I give up my animals (assuming I hadn't gotten in over my head), then we'd be going our separate ways but the same applies to him. We both came out of marriages where our partner tried to change who we are so it shows in the respect and freedom we give one another in this marriage. Like I said, people tell me it's odd but it works for us and that's what matters.

Don't give up on the idea and close yourself off from the possibility. Don't let others tell you that you will fall in love someday either. Keep yourself open and though you don't have to look for it, don't run if someone falls into your life. Live your life to the fullest and roll with what comes. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes you're by yourself, and sometimes you're not. Never be scared to live it though that way, when you are older, you don't have a list of regrets.

As for Slim's lifestyle choice, I have a great guy friend who lives the same way. It works for him though I would recommend staying away from the married ones if you go that direction. It involves fewer weapons being pointed at you. ;)

Being married or single won't change you and won't change a relationship you choose to be in. It's just a legal paper that may allow some benefits that you otherwise would not be able to take advantage of.

Some people feel a deep bond with their partner, can't conceive of a life without them, do everything to make them happy. This doesn't change whether they have the bit of legal paper or not. If I had lost our marriage certificate... or the government had a glitch and said suddenly our marriage wasn't in the system anymore so we were not legally married, it would not have changed the relationship I had with my husband.

In the same mind, getting married will not improve a relationship or make it deepen to a new level. What matters is what level of commitment you feel with your partner.

As far as the OP, you're 19. You may change your mind at some point, you may go through life without ever having another relationship, or you may have a deep meaningful partnership with someone yet still not marry them. There's more life ahead of you than behind you at this point hopefully... and you should live it openly without preconceived ideas.

Don't put a limit on yourself, your goals or your potential. The most freeing answer to a question about your plans or future is "I don't know yet".

At 20, I would never have thought of my current career. At 30 I would never have considered taking a job so far from home. At 42, I have a career and the best job situation ever in my life. When I was young, I had no desire for relationships, no plans for marriage. It just worked out that way later on.

When i was 17 i wanted no kids and no husband. I wanted to work and live alone, but that all changes when i was 21 and meet the man i knew i wanted to be with so after 3 months of dating yes 3 months we got married had 2 kids and been married for 9 year next month. Our marriage out last 95% of our friends and we are still happy as can be.

Been married going on 11 years on July 28th. Have a 9 year old daughter that is my little mud muffin Princess. (She will go head deep in the creek to catch a frog.) I probably wouldn't have my daughter if I wasn't married or if I did it would have ended up being with the crazy lady I picked up drunk one night on a dare from my buddies and would have had to deal with her for the next 18 years while paying out large sums of money in child support. :8:

Yes, I don't do somethings that I would if I was single, but on the same note I have experienced a lot of things I would have never tried if I was still single. Also I have a lot of things done for me around the house, so that definately takes a load off my shoulders.

I'm only a few years older than you, and while I've been single my entire life (which admittedly, isn't that long of a time :P) and haven't been horribly unhappy or anything, I dread the idea of never having the support that would come from a marriage. I definitely want to get married, and I want to have children, too.

I know that I can be self-sufficient and I'm kind of a loner by nature anyway, but it sure would be nice to have someone to share both the good news and bad news with eventually.

I had "relationships" when I was a teenager. A pretty horrific one turned me into a person that resigned themselves to being single forever and I was fine with that...until I met Grant.

At 20/21 a relationship is something completely different to how it was before for me. We see each other just enough, neither of us hold each other back or stop the other from doing something, and if something needs discussing then we discuss it like adults. In light conversation, we've discussed all sorts of future plans but neither of us have set anything in stone, we're still young and want to do so much together before that time comes. When I resigned myself to being single it was because I honestly didn't want another relationship, couldn't see myself in one - then Grant showed me what a real relationship is. And when you find someone you can imagine spending a lot more time with than just the nights down the pub...you know lol :) I don't know anyone I can have more of a laugh and fun with, who treats me right, and who makes me more happy - had I stuck by my guns when I met him and decided to not pursue him further (sounds a bit creepy..), the invention of a time machine and slap to the face would be in order.

I've known guys younger than me (16-20) that literally set their life goal at that age,and it's to meet a girl. If they haven't met the right person, it's the end of the world and their 16 year old life. They seemed to set their minds on marriage and kids at that age and spent all their time looking for the right girl, never did anything else. I think back now to when I was 16 - I wasn't even thinking of guys, I wanted to go places and do awesome stuff and read books and learn how to play instruments. Enjoy myself.

It's a tad early to be thinking about marriage at your age in my opinion...I'm still too young to be thinking seriously about it too lol. Like you said, you might change so I wouldn't make your mind up so soon :)

When i was 19, I thought i met the girl i was going to marry and we were together for 5 years, but that didn't work out...the difference between 19 and 24 are vast. I lived with a girl for 13 years, we were great in the beginning, but due to changes in both our lives, including both of us getting new careers, interests and now being mid 30's and almost 40...we grew apart. She texted me recently to tell me she's getting married...wanted me to know before it went on facebook (we are still good friends and share joint custody of a lab.)
I've been with a girl for a year and a half now...l live with my animals, no humans in my house...I'm a month away from 43 years old...i'm not the same person i was in my 30's.

You're 17...you will hardly recognize the person you are now when you hit 25.
The way you engage yourself with others will change, your perceptions and perspectives will change and your circle of friends and goals will change.
I wouldn't recommend rushing into marriage, but at your age, I wouldn't discount it just because you crave the freedom of being on your own and not under your parents (or anyone else's rules.) One day soon you'll be on your own and have the freedom you've always wanted...with that you will look forward to going home and spending time with your family and having a home cooked meal...life's funny that way.

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Originally Posted by AK907

Boy, if I had a rolled up newspaper I would smack you with it! :rofl:

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The funniest part is that was coming from a kid who had to take Algebra 1 twice lol. Looks like i did learn something in highschool :gj:

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Originally Posted by python_addict

Woah I totally thought you were atleast 21 haha wow

Oh and the college girl idea is good to think about haha have fun in college and you will find someone.

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You probably just thought that bc im so mature for my age. :rolleyes::rofl:

And yea i only go to community college but ive visited friends at Uconn and other schools. There are PLENTY of girls in college for you lol:gj:

X2 Uconn is a amazing place.

Trust me, you'll change your mind ;) You're still young and those teenage relationships are almost meaningless compaired to the ones you will have when you are older.

Being married has a lot of perks if you marry the right person and don't jump into it. I could never afford my lifestyle and toys if i didn't have my fiance. We are getting married this month in fact.

Yes being with someone does 'limit' you, but that usually makes you a better person. You have someone counting on you to make the right choices and help them out. And vice versa, if you pick the right person.

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