Being married vs. being single

[dsirkle]

So after a heated discussion with my parents, I've decided (planned already a few years back) that I won't get married. Mind you, I'm 17, and I might change my mind, but as of now, I'm firmly stating I'll be staying single for the rest of my life. I've been in relationships (well, teenage ones) and I can 100% say that they're not my cup of tea. I'm more kept to myself, and have a hard time expressing myself, not to mention I'm not very fond of my looks. Back to the main point(s)! I believe if you're not married (just an assumption, and based off my cousins who recently got married) you have more 'freedom' and not bound by anyone or anything (well, except the law of course). I won't have to live by anyone else rules, I'll be free to do what I want, when I want, won't have to worry about saving money for kids or another person, won't be putting up with in-laws (LOL), and I'll be able to live comfortably and be able to expand and start my hobbies. My parents on the other hand (mind you they're an arranged marriage, it was the norm in India back in the day) and they're completely opposed to such an idea. And my grandma even worse. She threatened to send my to India and get a wife and to beat me with a pan if I say such a thing again haha. Back to the point once again, my parents believe you obtain 'better morals', you're not lonely (don't really care about this, seeing as I don't have many friends, and hardly any close ones), happy and you get to sire the next generation. We've been butting heads about this topic ever since my cousin got married last year, and my uncles have even started making bets about if I'm getting married or not. Especially to another Indian, haha. I told them that race doesn't play a part in falling in love, but, I'm still a firm believer that I won't get married.

So, after all my dabbling nonsense, comes the main point(s):

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

and there's some more, but, I can't think of it. So what's your take on the marriage topic?

LOL! I've been married for over twice as long as you have been alive.

[Egapal]

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

Sorry I forgot to answer your questions.

I got married for the first time at age 32.

I believe that for a marriage to work you have to be truly happy before you get married. When you find happiness people will want to be around you. Happiness is a desirable quality.. If you are happy and you find someone who is happy on their own then being together can make you both happier. Marriage is a social and legal contract. It has nothing to do with happiness.

Being married doesn't restrict you from anything. Married people sleep around, ignore their families or even leave them all together. Married people waste their lives in bars or at work. Married people do all the things single people do. If you are doing marriage right it doesn't hold you back. I don't sleep with women other than my wife. What I get in return is far more valuable than any fling I have had. I dated a lot before I met my wife. I know exactly what I am "missing". If you get married you won't be giving anything up. You will have already gladly thrown those things away. If you feel like you are giving things up you shouldn't be getting married.

[Mike41793]

At nearly twice your age, I know twice as much as you. Whats two times zero?

2 x 0 = 0
Are you saying that everything you know now, you knew when you were 17? lol

[Daybreaker]

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

~ I wouldn't mind getting married, and if I was currently single I wouldn't have minded staying single either. I'm totally fine being single/alone, and I've never been the kind to "need" to be in a relationship.

~ No.

~ Some things sure - if your SO isn't comfortable with x, y, or z then you probably won't do those things anymore. But if you care for the person it probably won't matter giving up those things (speaking VERY broadly here).

I am 21 years old in a committed relationship. When I was younger, early teens, I never wanted to get married or have kids. Now I wouldn't mind getting married, but I'm still sticking to the "no kids ever" thing. I'll stick with my snakes and pets

[AK907]

2 x 0 = 0
Are you saying that everything you know now, you knew when you were 17? lol

Boy, if I had a rolled up newspaper I would smack you with it!

I also will agree with the "you're 17, things change as you get older" notion. I felt the same way when I was 17. I just wanted to play around and I did. Now that I'm older my priorities have changed and I've been happily married to my wonderful wife for 3.5 years. You're young. Play around and do what makes you happy. Marriage isn't for everyone, but don't discredit the idea just yet. Plus, you don't have to be married to be in a loving, committed relationship. "Marriage" is just a word on paper, really. I love my wife the same regardless of what a piece of paper says, how the government taxes us or if we have a metal hoop on our fingers.

[jbean7916]

-Are you going to get married or are you going to stay single?
-Do you believe that you have to be married to experience 'true happiness'?
-Do you believe getting married restricts you from doing certain things?

-I'm 27 and getting married in 3 months. And I'm soooo glad I didn't make this decision at 17 because I was a crazy, know-it-all and it would have failed miserably.

-marriage doesn't equal happiness though there is a lot to be said for companionship, especially as you get much older. While Mr. Slim might be out milking cows in his old age, that might not be your thing at 75.

-sure marriage restricts you from certain things. Like marrying someone else... And... Ummmm legally I can't think of anything else. The marriage isnt what keeps you from packing up and moving across country in the middle of the night if you get a wild hair, the commitment to your partner does. Yes there are things I have "given up" to be in this relationship, but nothing that mattered in the first place. Things change when you become half of a whole. You have someone else's feelings to consider, someone that has different ideas and compromise will have to happen sometimes.



Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk 2

[adamjeffery]

im 31 and married. love my wife and 2 kids we have together. i wouldnt trade it for the world.
on the other hand i work with a guy who was never married, has no kids and changes girl friends regularly.
hes a motor cyclist who is really in to the whole freedom bit. he owns 15 cars, mostly muscle. 3 harleys. maxes out his contributions to his 401k within months of the new year and still has too much money.
hes the most lonely, ornery depressed looking guy i know. hes never happy and just an @ss to everyone at work unless your a drinking buddy.
ill stick with my wife and kids
adam jeffery

[Wapadi]

My husband is my best friend in the entire world!!
We were together for 9 yrs before we tied the knot and we are even more in love now!

FYI - Playing is more fun with some beside you
Dinner is more enjoyable with some to share it with
SEX is way better with someone else
Bad news is more easily shared
Bills are easier split
Heck, cleaning rat bins is less work with two!

Please Dont sign off on the entire thing...

[python_addict]

Finish puberty before you start thinking about marriage bud lol.
(Unlike all these old people^^^ Im only 2 years older than you so im not trying to talk down to you at all. Im also not married either haha.)

As a 19 year old i look back at my 17 year old self, thats ONLY 2 years ago, and cant figure out what the hell i was thinking lol. I wont go into details here, unless you want me to lol, but i did alot of stupid stuff. I dont regret any of it, though some things i probably should... Graduating high school and realizing i should actually do something with my life made me grow up real fast.

So my point is... Focus on school now and worry about getting good grades, SAT's and collge stuff. Just be a teenager, bc if you dont then itll fly by and youll have missed all of it worrying about stupid girls. If you cant find a wife yet, dont worry you have plenty of time. I wouldnt look for one yet though, bc then youll miss out on all the college girls

Woah I totally thought you were atleast 21 haha wow ANYWAYS I have been on and off with the same guy since I was 15....yeah that was quite a few years ago lets just say and now I am married to him and it has actually brought us together, he is my best friend and the greatest companion I could ask for. We share everything and we help each other out in times of need. He is always there to comfort me and there when I have to squeeze the crap out of his hand while getting a tattoo haha I love being married I honestly do. But wait till you are atleast 21 to make up your mind only then will you start to realize what you trully want you are way to young to even worry about such a thing. Oh and the college girl idea is good to think about haha have fun in college and you will find someone.

[LotusCorvus]

Oooh boy, gotta love those cultural/generational clashes, huh?

It'll take a while, but eventually you'll run into people at the same maturity level as you, and suddenly relationships get a whole lot better. Don't let your family push you into anything you're not ready for, but also realize that if they don't want to change they probably won't, and practice some auto-responses for their more frustrating questions.

As for me, I think it would be nice to get married to my partner eventually, although I honestly think about it more for the financial/insurance benefits, especially if I get better health insurance than she does. We've got some unusual circumstances going on that could put hiccups in the plan though (trans* girlfriend, either we get married and she has to lie about herself, or we wait until our state makes full-rights marriage legal for everybody).

I definitely don't believe that you HAVE to be married to be happy. You just have to live life in a way that makes you feel fulfilled. If that involves finding a wonderful partner and possibly raising kids, awesome! If it doesn't and you're happy living with your wonderful snake collection, still awesome! Nobody can define happiness for another person.

Getting married probably restricts you from sleeping with other people, if thats what's agreed on and you stand by it. Other than that, the only things it should limit are things you and your partner agree on. For example, my partner is totally fine with my snakes, she's cool with my rats, but she absolutely puts her foot down when it comes to tarantulas. So, while I thought it would be nice to get back into them, I've agreed not to and I'm totally okay with it. Just means more room for snakes ;p