Any childfree by choice?

I'm 28 and getting prepared to make this choice final. I've found myself more adverse to the notion of giving birth the older I get rather than the reverse. In fact, even when I was undecided on the parenting prospect I knew I'd rather adopt. Anyone else on this ship?

Also, I have to say that reactions I've gotten when I've had to say I don't want kids has been interesting. Most women over 35, whether they've had kids or not, have been unanimously supportive. Men of all ages have been either shocked & suggesting something's wrong with me, or are astounded at the notion that there can be a life to live without them. I find it erm...amusing, for lack of a better term.

Sometimes I see where the sexual politics of my state are heading and I think the permanent procedure is best. I don't respond well to hormones anyway. Anyone else understand?

While I don't exactly consider myself a woman, I would be able to reproduce until gender reassignment would come into play. However, I've got a lot of genetic health issues and never wanted to get pregnant, even as a kid. My genes are screwy and I've got the same things my parents and grandparents have, except the symptoms of them came much much younger for me. I was actually angry at my parents for a little while for choosing to reproduce when they knew it was possible for that to happen, and I'd rather not subject any offspring to that.

Besides, abuse runs deep in my family and I'd like to do the same thing my parents did for one of my sisters. Why have kids that you know will be completely unhealthy when you can adopt an older kid that's been neglected and abused? S'been my goal since I was a very young child when I first heard about my dad and sister's original home lives. I'd rather make a difference to those kids any day.

Jazi I hope you get to adopt a few kids someday. There are so many that need thoughtful parents! I used to work with some foster kids, some were only infants even, used to break my heart to see them going through the system over & over.

We are - he never wanted kids and I know I'd be a high risk pregnancy. Now, I'll admit there was about a year in my early 20s that I entertained the idea of kids, but I just couldn't see it happening financially and it didn't hurt that I raised my special needs little brother - I felt burnt out on child-raising before I hit 18.

Even without all the other reasons, I find I don't get along well with a lot people who have kids. Today's accepted style of parenting is very far from what I'd let my kid get away with. My man and I talk about it every time we go out with my dear friends and their (now) 15 year old. She's got to have at least 3 electronic devices going - even if we are out to a "special/expensive" dinner. If she were my kid and couldn't leave them at home, they'd be locked up in the safe... and don't get me started about younger kids! If my special needs brother could be taught to never throw a tantrum in public - well, let's just say I have no patience for it.

The only concern I'd have for you is the procedure you choose. There are a few options out there I hear are less surgically invasive, but has been and remains easier to permanently fix males - it can be done in a pretty quick clinic visit. I only hope you find a safe solution if you do go down that path.

I'm kinda surprised you're finding the guys are shocked. Two of my male friends had the procedure done when they were about 25 or so. Neither were in relationships, but both felt it was the best choice for them and wanted to make sure there weren't any "accidents." I know that sounds horrible to some, but it was their way of being responsible and they knew they didn't want kids. I dunno, just throwing my :twocents:

I'm 36 don't want and not having any as long as my IUD doesn't fail me. I use to be on the fence about it but when ever that would happen, I'd visit family members with kids for a bit and changed my mind. I don't know why some people have an issue with it, my body, my choice and I choose not to have any. My family genes have already been passed on no need for me to add to the pool.

But it's still something I hear about from relatives all the time. Some :rolleyes: of them just can't see the reality of it not happening.

Just like not every animal should be bred, not every body should or needs to procreate, we would be much better off if half the people that did,.. didn't.

I'm a 33 year old guy, and I find it difficult, to find a partner, that like myself, doesn't want kids.. I don't hate children or anything, it's just not for me..

I love animals, and I consider myself to be a good person, but when I tell people I'm not really into kids, they look at me, like I'm a freak :)

Im a guy and dont want kids. Ive said it for awhile but im only 19 so everyone tells me im silly and tells me ill change my mind. These are the main reasons why i dont want them:
1. I hate kids. My dad and stepmom try and get me to babysit my step siblings all the time. I hate it. If you have the kids theyre your problem, dont try and pawn them off on me every weekend just bc you "need a break". I dont do that with my bps.
2. Theyre expensive.
3. The way kids are growing up now, like you said with the electronics devices issue, im honestly not sure i it would even be possible for me to raise them the way i would want to. They would be so consumed in electronic devices and media that i feel if i tried to, they would forever hate me bc all their friends would have cell phones and laptops and facebooks in kindergarten.
4. I would inevitably have to deal with OTHER peoples kids who would be 10x as rude and obnoxious as my own.
5. I would much rather just adopt. The kid will already be older. Theyll probably be pretty polite since your giving them a home and showing them love. And I wont have to deal with any younger kids this way lol. Also theres a few different diseases that run in my family that i dont really know if i wanna pass down the risk to my offspring and future generations. (ye im weird and think about that kind of stuff).

If any of you think im crazy too then tell me, but im pretty serious about all of it. :)

I do wan't children, but would never ever look at or call anybody weird for not wanting children. That's just not fair is it? It's a choice everybody has a right to make. I have friends who look at me oddly and say I'm mad because I do want children at some point. There are occasions, after seeing the way certain children behave around their parents (and vice versa!) when I've thought "You know what, if kids are like that nowadays, I'm not going to bother." Only the other day I saw a child throw a tantrum because his Mum wouldn't let him have a tub of ice cream, so he launched the ice cream across the shop and nearly smashed a window. The Mum just shrugged it off and ignored the child... ¬_¬

I think in a few years when I'm ready I'd like to have kids. Adopting has always been in my mind, always. I think there are so many girls, only kids themselves, having children over here just to get a flat and live with their boyfriend who "loves" them so much (and leaves them once he finds out about the baby), it's sickening. And so many kids that need a proper home.

Course, I'm only 21. It'll be a while before I have kids, I want to do so many things beforehand and I may change my mind as I grow up. I hope everyone looking to adopt all the luck in the world :)

I can't believe anyone cares if someone else does or doesn't want to have kids. I can't imagine life without mine but I certainly understand it's not for everyone.

I do see a lot if the comments about how terrible other people are at raising their kids or about how terrible the children are from people who haven't had any as at least generalizations and very often probably rationalizations for an already made decision. my good friends sister won't shut up about why she refuses to do that to her body (she doesn't seem very picky about doing other things to it). she's a total mess. a chemical and emotional nightmare. her brothers/sister and mother just smile and inwardly give thanks for her refusal to reproduce. of course i know many mentally healthy and rational women/men who have no plans to have a family. I'm sure some will live to regret it but sadly, I'm also sure some people with children regret it as well. that's life.

kids are difficult, expensive, time consuming, and frightening. and to my wife and I it's totally worth it. to several of my friends, it totally isn't.

I am 50:50 about it and I know for a fact that people who are 50:50 about having a child should not. It's not far off from the threads here where people rant about irresponsibility because someone got a pet snake that they couldn't care for... just a much larger and unforgivable foul-up.

Later on if I'm financially stable, my partner or I have the ability to stay home to be with the child in its first years, and I've lost my drive to explore the world and suck the nectar from life (or if some day I realize parenthood IS the nectar), then I would probably change my mind. I'd need all 3 of those factors, though.

That's probably never happening.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Im a guy and dont want kids. Ive said it for awhile but im only 19 )

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Lol trust me your 19 you are not the same person you will be in just a few years.

I couldn't imagine life without my daughter. I always knew a wanted kids. She is my world. Yes, they are expensive, it to me is well worth every penny. I do know that having kids just isn't for everyone, and rightfully so. If you can't devote 100% of yourself to them, you shouldn't have them. Like everyone else has said, you see kids that are neglected, or mistreated. Those are the people that should have thought about it first. So, no, its not for everybody. I don't think its wierd that you don't want them, some people just don't. Me personally, just couldn't imagine life without mine. :). If I didn't I would never be here having this discussion, she's the one who convinced me to get the first snake....:D
Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

I'm a guy and have no desire for kids.

I've also encountered people who couldn't believe it, and even people who insisted I was wrong and didn't know what I wanted.

To be honest, I've sometimes wondered if the people who are most opposed to the idea aren't just overreacting to hide from the truth that sometimes they regret having kids...

I am 26, married and do not have children. Nor do I/we plan on having any. We've talked about it... sorta. It is too expensive and I don't make nearly enough money. Until we can live the life we want to live, kids are out of the question.

I think times are just different from when my parents had kids. It seemed easier back then.

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Originally Posted by roseyoungblood

Jazi I hope you get to adopt a few kids someday. There are so many that need thoughtful parents! I used to work with some foster kids, some were only infants even, used to break my heart to see them going through the system over & over.

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:3 Thanks.

My dad spent a lot of time in the foster system when he was a kid, so many bad stories come from that and his treatment by his father beforehand. When my cousin found herself removed from her mom, he said he'd never let any family of his go through what he did and my parents adopted her as my sister. I'd like to do the same... I know some foster parents are great, but I've heard way too many stories of older kids just bouncing around in the system because everyone wants babies and young kids :\

I am 39 married I do not have any children and this is purely by choice.

I have worked with children for over 10 years and know I have made a difference in some of those children's life and to me that is enough, I would not feel more accomplished if I had children of my own and I do not feel any void in my life.

Not everyone wish to have children (nothing wrong with that) and in some cases not everyone should have children either ;), and you should certainly not have children because of peer pressure or because others try to make you feel inadequate.

I know right now having a child wouldn't be a good choice, so I really just don't think about it. My boyfriend already has 2 children, and the only reason I can see myself deciding to have one in the future is if an accident happens (I'm pro choice, but wouldn't chose to terminate it myself) or if I get into a financially stable situation where I can pursue my hobbies and passions as well as afford to provide a good life. It's a very serious matter to me since I had 3 siblings after I was born, and it's unsure whether or not my brothers will have the same resources as I do when they get to college age, and that scares me a little (well, a lot). I'll admit that the idea of having children really appeals to me, and my boyfriend is a fantastic father, which is something I hadn't thought I'd find either. For now, I have faith in my birth control and trust that if the opportunity arises and I'm still in the same mindset (being 21 I figure things will still shift and change a bit) that things will happen as they should.

I don't plan to ever have kids. I can't stand them, to be honest. Due to where I live, I've gotten a lot of flack for it. One woman out right threatened to punch me when I said that I find babies to be ugly. Another guy couldn't understand why I "[didn't] want to spread [my] genetics".

I also hate it when people say "You're young, you'll change your mind", people don't know what goes on in my mind, and need to stop acting like they do. I had this view when I was 13. I had it when I was 17. I had it when I was 21, and I still have it today. It's not going away.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Lol trust me your 19 you are not the same person you will be in just a few years.

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I never said i wouldnt want kids. Im willing to adopt or marry someone with older kids. But i cant see myself having to take care of a baby. Being forced to help take care of my step-siblings when they were babies pretty much ruined that for me lol...

I'm nearly 30 and still don't have any children which has been a personal choice. Do we want kids? Yes, but only one. Can we afford to give them the life we would want to? Not right now so we choose not to have one. It's like me wanting a horse. I can't afford it so no matter how much I want one, I will not get it. My husband and I both get asked regularly why we don't have kids yet and it gets old fast. I see coworkers who live off the state and get evicted because they have to provide food for their children. My brother-in-law has declared bankruptcy twice now because he can't afford the kids he had and now they had a third. My sister knows that if her husband loses his job, they'll be moving in with me and my husband, taking over the snake room. The idea of being that financially unstable scares the heck out of me. My husband and I have also talked about possibly adopting an older child if we decide to have kids later in life. There are so many options these days and like someone else mentioned, kids are a lot like pets in that many people have them who can't afford/shouldn't have them. The problem is, you can't just put your kid up on Craigslist when you get tired of it or can't afford it any longer. We aren't willing to put ourselves in either situation where we'd be starving/out on the street or losing the child. It's not worth the risk.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

I also hate it when people say "You're young, you'll change your mind", people don't know what goes on in my mind, and need to stop acting like they do. I had this view when I was 13. I had it when I was 17. I had it when I was 21, and I still have it today. It's not going away.

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x2 That's a really annoying point of view. I grew up hearing stories of abuse, I've known I wanted to adopt abused kids since I was a very very young child. Before I even hit the double digits. This has not changed in more than 10 years. Am I still growing, is my brain still going to change and mature over the years? Yes. But I'm confident in saying that I do not and will not want kids.

I, honestly, could not even begin to imagine life without my daughter. But I highly respect all of you for sticking with your decisions regardless of how other people thought and/or said. I get a lot of questions when people find out I have one child and got myself fixed, lol. Really, who's business is it anyway?
I wish you all the best of luck in whatever you choose. I still think about adopting or atleast fostering, as I adore children ( well some ;) ) and I find it very noble of people willing to open their homes and their hearts to other peoples children :)

I'm 24, and until recently, I didn't really want kids. Now I kinda do, but my living situation demands that I keep a tight control of my reproductive organs so that they do not perform their intended purpose. Unfortunately I am also a very high risk pregnancy candidate. Along the same lines as other members, I have genetic issues, and a few previous injuries that would be severely exacerbated by carrying a full term pregnancy.

I've been entertaining the idea of adopting, but because I would rather get married to someone first, I've pushed it to the back burner of my brain.

And I agree with Raptor - most babies are ugly :P

I'm 26, no kids, don't want any. I don't want to babysit, hold your kid, or be around babies, they just don't do it for me at all. My b/f doesn't want kids either and we have been together for 8 years so my family has almost given up, my sister sold all her baby crap but my brother reproduced again and has 2 year old twins so they are always trying to get me to hold a baby or be around them like it will rub off. I've always said I don't want kids and always got told I'd change my mind. Pets are enough work and expense, I watch my sisters' kids at least once a month and thankfully they are grown enough to be cool (5 and 8) but it's still a long couple hours and I'm glad to get away lol.

I am 36 and have no kids. When I was married, we were unable to due to health reasons, but we were also busy professionals and did not want them.

The other issue I have personally, is I really cannot relate to the way when someone has a kid it becomes EVERYTHING and they seem to lose their own personality and identity.

This makes it hard dating at my age, since a lot of girls have kids. I have no problem, and I have met some cool kids, but what I find is that the girls put up this front that the kid is first and foremost, and that comes across as VERY difficult to make me part of their life. I am not a fan of being told upfront that I am second fiddle. I can handle when the kids and the relationship are of equal importance.

I grew up in the system and helped raise other peoples kids most of my life, both fosters and relatives. As far as I'm concerned I did my time and then some. For anyone who wants to adopt, especially older kids to teenagers foster first. When things work out you can always adopt the child you foster. But once those papers are signed there's no going back.

My sister recently adopted a family of 3 siblings (currently 10,12 & 16) it was suppose to be four, that she's had for over 3yrs. She was having issues with one of the teenagers and she went to another foster before hand. But the other teenager didn't really speak up during the process, just went with the flow. For what ever reason changed her mind afterwards and REALLY started showing her *ss. To a point where she's been living with me for the past couple of months because she can't go back to their house.

It's a situation that could happen regardless (foster/adopted/blood) but in most cases adoptions work out better when you foster first.

I didnt read through everything posted here BUT
I wouldnt give our son up for anything. We are 36 and he is 17 so we are also almost free LOL
Would I do it again if it could be done over? NO!
I couldnt get on the table fast enough when I found out our health insurance covered my vasectomy for free!!:gj::gj:
My wife and I just think there are two major problems on this planet:
1 over populated, the human race is a deadly cancer and doesnt know when to stop destroying everything we touch.
2 over breeding, I understand that my great grandparents had a huge family but that was because they had a farm. Why does anyone have more than one child now anyway? Just because you can?

I personally dont want to be alive in another 50 or so years just because I dont want to see the mess our planet will be in and I feel guilty that our kids are going to have to live in it.:weirdface

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Originally Posted by Raptor

I don't plan to ever have kids. I can't stand them, to be honest. Due to where I live, I've gotten a lot of flack for it. One woman out right threatened to punch me when I said that I find babies to be ugly. Another guy couldn't understand why I "[didn't] want to spread [my] genetics".

I also hate it when people say "You're young, you'll change your mind", people don't know what goes on in my mind, and need to stop acting like they do. I had this view when I was 13. I had it when I was 17. I had it when I was 21, and I still have it today. It's not going away.

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When I was 12 I told my parents that I never wanted kids. Same thing in my twenties and thirties. I'm 56 now, and no kids. No regrets either.

We don't all want the same thing. Some folks are too dense to comprehend it.

Wow, just when I felt like the only person to not want kids. I agree, it gets very old having people constantly hounding me about not wanting children.

I don't like kids, never have, probably never will, especially kids nowadays since you are no longer allowed to discipline them. They are absolutely out of control! I could rant all day about this subject, but I will leave it at this: I wasn't too good to get my butt beat (even in public) as a kid. I deserved 99.9% of them and I deserved a lot more than I actually got and I turned out just fine. Bruises are abuse, a smack on the the hind end to get their attention followed by a stiff, "No!" isn't.

My wife, however, wants kids someday. Someday we may have kids, but it will not be anytime soon, we have both agreed to that. It will be when we are both older (I'm 27, she is 20) and we are more financially stable. We refuse to be a welfare whores like so many low life, drug addicted breeders out there that can't keep their legs closed and have 7 kids, all of which WE pay for with OUR paycheck. If we do it we are going to do it right!

Wow, there were far more responses than I imagined! All of you who posted hit the nail on the head. I have had a few friends here and there who have kids, and I've made clear my no babysitting rule. They've mostly understood, but usually by the time the kid is 3 we've parted ways, due to schedule conflicts, lack of things in common, etc. One friend I quit talking to because I felt she was borderline (verbally) abusive toward her kid, and I couldn't criticize, because "you (I) don't have kids, you (I) just don't understand." She once told me, after screaming at her toddler--this happened all the time--to never have kids. She looked so miserable. A year later, she was pregnant again. I had been through a legit pregnancy scare around this time and was considering keeping it if it came to be, but my experience with her led me to follow her advice. I really couldn't just stand by and watch, but she wasn't exactly something to go running to SRS about, either.

I also can't imagine coming home from my job only to have to spend the rest of the night cooking, cleaning, and getting a toddler/child to bed. Neither can I imagine staying home, cooking, cleaning and talking to no one but a child all day long. Some people can do it, and do it well, I'll leave it to them :D

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Originally Posted by roseyoungblood

One friend I quit talking to because I felt she was borderline (verbally) abusive toward her kid, and I couldn't criticize, because "you (I) don't have kids, you (I) just don't understand." She once told me, after screaming at her toddler--this happened all the time--to never have kids.

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Yup, this reminds me of a time we took my wife's little brother to the store. He was about 3.5-4 years old or so. He is hands down one of the worst behaved kids I've ever met because of how he is babied and allowed to have whatever he wants (to the point he was even bottle fed until 5 years old because he wouldn't eat normal food). Anyways, he was throwing a major temper tantrum (ie kicking and screaming on the floor, running down the isles knocking stuff off the shelves, etc) in the store and when we grabbed him and told him, "No!" we were verbally attacked by a group of people. According to them this was abuse and we had no right telling him, "No" and that he should be making his own decisions and should be allowed to "express himself". Since when is a toddler capable of making his own decisions and since when is it acceptable to "express yourself" by acting like a wild animal in public? Had it have been me when I was his age (circa 1988) my mom would have dropped my drawers and lit me up right then and there and I wouldn't haven't seen my Legos for a week! I knew better than to act like a little jerk because I knew I wouldn't get away with it. It might not have made much sense to me then, but it sure does now.

I think you will find more women making the perm. choice now that there is so much pressure about the "personhood" stuff. I was on a IUD for years after having my kids because my Dr thought I was a bit young to make the perm. choice. I am having my tubes done this fall but it has been 7 more years for me to be sure. with all the politics out there on what women can and cant do with their bodies if you dont want them just get it done.

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Originally Posted by GoingPostal

I'm 26, no kids, don't want any. I don't want to babysit, hold your kid, or be around babies, they just don't do it for me at all. My b/f doesn't want kids either and we have been together for 8 years so my family has almost given up, my sister sold all her baby crap but my brother reproduced again and has 2 year old twins so they are always trying to get me to hold a baby or be around them like it will rub off. I've always said I don't want kids and always got told I'd change my mind. Pets are enough work and expense, I watch my sisters' kids at least once a month and thankfully they are grown enough to be cool (5 and 8) but it's still a long couple hours and I'm glad to get away lol.

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I hate it when people try to make you like their kids. I have 2 kids and still dont like other peoples kids. "here hold the baby" .... I usualy say I have a cold or think i might be comming down with something.

My maternal instinct is to my kids not theirs

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Originally Posted by AK907

Yup, this reminds me of a time we took my wife's little brother to the store. He was about 3.5-4 years old or so. He is hands down one of the worst behaved kids I've ever met because of how he is babied and allowed to have whatever he wants (to the point he was even bottle fed until 5 years old because he wouldn't eat normal food). Anyways, he was throwing a major temper tantrum (ie kicking and screaming on the floor, running down the isles knocking stuff off the shelves, etc) in the store and when we grabbed him and told him, "No!" we were verbally attacked by a group of people. According to them this was abuse and we had no right telling him, "No" and that he should be making his own decisions and should be allowed to "express himself". Since when is a toddler capable of making his own decisions and since when is it acceptable to "express yourself" by acting like a wild animal in public? Had it have been me when I was his age (circa 1988) my mom would have dropped my drawers and lit me up right then and there and I wouldn't haven't seen my Legos for a week! I knew better than to act like a little jerk because I knew I wouldn't get away with it. It might not have made much sense to me then, but it sure does now.

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And that right there folks, is why i hate kids lmao. When i see stuff like that i get such a strong urge to punch the kid right in the face. But then i think about it and im like actually i should be pissed at the parents bc its their job to raise the kid right.
Also kudos to the no legos. I also got my hotwheels and GI Joes taken away too!

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Originally Posted by lizlopez

I hate it when people try to make you like their kids. I have 2 kids and still dont like other peoples kids. "here hold the baby" .... I usualy say I have a cold or think i might be comming down with something.

My maternal instinct is to my kids not theirs

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Or you just do what i do.
"No sorry i cant, ive dropped too many already..."
Im kidding, but it does make them not force me to hold their little poop monsters.

I'm 42. Since I was a small girl I have always said "I don't want kids." I have been told for 42 years "Oh, you'll change your mind."

42 year. Not once have I had any urge to have kids. Not. Once.

I'm not going to say "Oh, all kids are horrible monsters!" or "Society wouldn't allow me to raise my kid how I'd want to." or "Bad genes in the family." or any of the many many valid reasons and/or excuses that people use.

I don't want kids because I don't want kids. I have no urge to bear children, to have children, to hold babies, to have the continued generation. I know great parents and great kids, and bad parents and bad kids. I don't think that other people should or should not have kids, that's their own decisions. I see a lot of people having kids that I personally think shouldn't... but that's my personal opinion.

It's not abnormal to not want kids... any more than it's abnormal to not want a partner. It is entirely possible to live a full and happy life without a partner, without kids, or without pets or electronics or all these things that most people believe are "needed". It's all in what you YOURSELF wish to put into your life. Choice.

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

And that right there folks, is why i hate kids lmao. When i see stuff like that i get such a strong urge to punch the kid right in the face. But then i think about it and im like actually i should be pissed at the parents bc its their job to raise the kid right.
Also kudos to the no legos. I also got my hotwheels and GI Joes taken away too!

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Right, you can't blame the kids. They lack the mental capacity for understanding right and wrong. In their minds the world revolves around them. When a child acts up, it is because the parents haven't instilled a set of decency in them.

And I miss my Legos! :(

No one should be put under pressure to have kids if they don't want them. That being said people that say they don't want kids because they don't like kids, I don't think they get the difference other people's kids and their own. Not many people like kids that are not their own, come on they are loud messy and non stop! But all that doesn't matter when you have your own. The feelings you have for your own kids can't be put into words. And someone that simply doesn't like kids shouldn't let that be the deciding factor about having kids of their own, because believe me you will love them no matter what.

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Originally Posted by Rob

No one should be put under pressure to have kids if they don't want them. That being said people that say they don't want kids because they don't like kids, I don't think they get the difference other people's kids and their own. Not many people like kids that are not their own, come on they are loud messy and non stop! But all that doesn't matter when you have your own. The feelings you have for your own kids can't be put into words. And someone that simply doesn't like kids shouldn't let that be the deciding factor about having kids of their own, because believe me you will love them no matter what.

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I dunno about that. I don't like cats and dogs. I don't like yours and I didn't like them when we had them. So I have to believe it when people say, "I don't like kids", even if it is their own kids. Not everyone likes their own kids.

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Originally Posted by AK907

I dunno about that. I don't like cats and dogs. I don't like yours and I didn't like them when we had them. So I have to believe it when people say, "I don't like kids", even if it is their own kids. Not everyone likes their own kids.

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Lol did you really just try comparing cats and dogs to kids? I think you kind of missed the point there.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Lol did you really just try comparing cats and dogs to kids? I think you kind of missed the point there.

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Yup, sure did and I think you missed my point as well. Not everyone is going to like kids, even if they have kids of their own. Having a kid doesn't automatically change your perspective on the matter. It can, but not always.

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Originally Posted by AK907

Yup, sure did and I think you missed my point as well. Not everyone is going to like kids, even if they have kids of their own. Having a kid doesn't automatically change your perspective on the matter. It can, but not always.

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No I got your point, but it doesn't make sense. You can't compare a animal you buy to a human you bring into the world. Apples and oranges.

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Originally Posted by Rob

No one should be put under pressure to have kids if they don't want them. That being said people that say they don't want kids because they don't like kids, I don't think they get the difference other people's kids and their own. Not many people like kids that are not their own, come on they are loud messy and non stop! But all that doesn't matter when you have your own. The feelings you have for your own kids can't be put into words. And someone that simply doesn't like kids shouldn't let that be the deciding factor about having kids of their own, because believe me you will love them no matter what.

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Interestingly enough, even though I don't want my own kids and I really cannot stand baby smell, I actually adore kids. I grew up babysitting for colleagues of my mom and running around after my nephew... you don't go through 5 years of babysitting autistic twins without some real love for kids I tell you that! :P

Except when I'm at work. Then I hate kids. Usually because their parents bring in 10 of them at a time and let them run around my store screaming and breaking things and then fuss at me when I ask the parents to please tell the children to stop running. I think I'll hang a sign on the front doors that says "No Kids Allowed Without A Leash"! :D

I'm 22, and I never want to have children. I was raised in a very conservative household where I was constantly playing the role of baby-sitter for young cousins and neighbor kids, and even though they usually behaved I never wanted one of my own. I was always being told that as a woman my job was to get my MRS and put my uterus straight to work, but in 22 years I haven't changed my mind about it. There's nothing appealing about having kids to me. Pregnancy, birth, the infant years, all disgusting and miserable. I don't mind kids so much once they can talk as long as I can discipline them or send them away, but most parents I've met don't like other people disciplining their children and I couldn't send my own kids away for weeks at a time while I recovered my patience. So I'll just never have any.

Every time a kid comes into the pet store where I work, it re-affirms my decision. They scream and run and try to climb into petters, grab things off the shelves and rip open packages, and for some inexplicable reason every single one of them has to spend at least 5 minutes squeaking a dog toy, even if they're 15 years old. Even worse, most of their parents make no attempt to stop them or apologize when they realize their brats are destroying merchandise and irritating everyone else. No, I want nothing to do with parenting or the current culture of parenting. Even if I had children that I raised to be my idea of perfect I would have to deal with their stupid friends and their stupid parents, and that's not happening.

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Originally Posted by Rob

No I got your point, but it doesn't make sense. You can't compare a animal you buy to a human you bring into the world. Apples and oranges.

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I think you most certainly can compare the two because a lot of people, myself included, view our pets as family members. Pets are a lot like kids in most respects other than the fact that they didn't come out of our bodies. Adopted children if you will. We care for them, they are messy, loud, annoying, expensive, we love them, you name it.

.....until you have reached the age that your frontal lobe is complete you shouldn't make up your decision about having kids. :)
No not everyone should have kids, but you should also not be one when you make that decision. If your an adult and you know kids are not for you that's fine and dandy.

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Originally Posted by AK907

I think you most certainly can compare the two because a lot of people, myself included, view our pets as family members. Pets are a lot like kids in most respects other than the fact that they didn't come out of our bodies. Adopted children if you will. We care for them, they are messy, loud, annoying, expensive, we love them, you name it.

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There's only one way to see the difference and that is to have a child. I have had pets all my life, and yes all my pets are part of the family. But there is a huge difference between a human and a dog sorry.

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Originally Posted by AK907

I think you most certainly can compare the two because a lot of people, myself included, view our pets as family members. Pets are a lot like kids in most respects other than the fact that they didn't come out of our bodies. Adopted children if you will. We care for them, they are messy, loud, annoying, expensive, we love them, you name it.

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It is not even the same. I love my animals like family, "kids". When I was sitting in the waiting room awaiting results about a terminal illness on one of my pets, I was so upset, worried, scared, that I couldn't breath. So yes, I love my animals. But it is not even close to the same, doesn't even compare, to how you love and are bonded to a child. Maybe that's not everybody though, and that's why those people shouldn't have kids.

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Originally Posted by Rob

But there is a huge difference between a human and a dog sorry.

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Really there isnt......... you chose to breed a child or buy an animal, either way neither of them had the choice to be with you. Your animals that you chose, you will have to care for their entire life with no say so of their own. A child you bred into this mess of a planet can chose to do as it wishes at 18 years so you are only responsible for it for a fraction of its life. Unless it is like me and moves out on its own at 16:gj:

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Originally Posted by Rob

There's only one way to see the difference and that is to have a child. I have had pets all my life, and yes all my pets are part of the family. But there is a huge difference between a human and a dog sorry.

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I don't think anyone is trying to say they're the exact same. But comparisons can be made (as Pit pointed out). There is no perfect analogy, just basic similarities. Both require responsibility (MUCH more on the part of children) and not everyone lives up to it. Money is an issue (doctor visits/vet visits, again more expensive and extreme in the case of children), and if things are wired right you've got some emotional attachment (again, with kids it's much more extreme and binding). No, humans and dogs aren't the same, but comparing the obligations and some patterns gives some people a better idea on the subject