Parents

Okay, I'll throw it out there...I'm a Christian. I don't force my beliefs on anyone. If someone wants to talk about it openly I share it, but never hover over them saying "YOU'RE GOING TO HE'LL!" I have my beliefs, and I respect those who have different beliefs and am close friends with those who don't believe, I may think they are wrong but I don't put that out. Everyone at my church knows I have snakes nd they think its cool, I've even used them before. I've never heard anyone call them the devil lol. As far as your situation, if I'm pushed into something, I fight it even harder. My parents never made me go to church, I just did. Try to talk with your parents about your beliefs, it will be hard for them to hear but maybe they will understand.

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Originally Posted by pigfat

Okay, I'll throw it out there...I'm a Christian. I don't force my beliefs on anyone. If someone wants to talk about it openly I share it, but never hover over them saying "YOU'RE GOING TO HE'LL!" I have my beliefs, and I respect those who have different beliefs and am close friends with those who don't believe, I may think they are wrong but I don't put that out. Everyone at my church knows I have snakes nd they think its cool, I've even used them before. I've never heard anyone call them the devil lol. As far as your situation, if I'm pushed into something, I fight it even harder. My parents never made me go to church, I just did. Try to talk with your parents about your beliefs, it will be hard for them to hear but maybe they will understand.

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It's good to see someone different

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Originally Posted by Ridinandreptiles

Where did I claim to know everything?

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Well, your parents are attempting to instill values in you and teach you about the faith that they have experienced throughout their lives which had brought them happiness. They're hope is that you will embrace that same faith and find the same happiness. But you, in your 17 years know better than they do so you are rebelling. It is basic teenager behavior. In 10 years or so, you'll see that your parents are not as dumb as you think.

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Originally Posted by chet1028

Well, your parents are attempting to instill values in you and teach you about the faith that they have experienced throughout their lives which had brought them happiness. They're hope is that you will embrace that same faith and find the same happiness. But you, in your 17 years know better than they do so you are rebelling. It is basic teenager behavior. In 10 years or so, you'll see that your parents are not as dumb as you think.

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Sometimes people don't want other people to instill their faith on them, parents or not. Especially when you're of an age where you can explore all other belief systems and views yourself. That has nothing to do with being a teenager and "rebelling". If my parents started doing it now, and I resisted, would it be just a rebellious teenage thing?

Sorry to say, but you can still have amazing values without religion. If your child does not want to embrace the same faith as you, or as intensely as you, you deal with it.

If you can't, that shows immaturity on your behalf, not the child/young adult's.

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Originally Posted by chet1028

Well, your parents are attempting to instill values in you and teach you about the faith that they have experienced throughout their lives which had brought them happiness. They're hope is that you will embrace that same faith and find the same happiness. But you, in your 17 years know better than they do so you are rebelling. It is basic teenager behavior. In 10 years or so, you'll see that your parents are not as dumb as you think.

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I'm an atheist. I have been my entire life (even at six, I thought the idea of the world being created by someone in the sky to be absurd). Does that mean that I don't have values? Here's a hint: I do have values.

You don't need a 2,000 year old book to teach someone values, especially one that has values that are out of date, in most cases. Not to mention, what brings one person happiness won't always bring another person happiness. As an example, there are plenty of people who love wrestling and it brings them happiness to watch it. Me? I think it's a load of garbage and is stupid. I prefer such shows as Fringe, Bones, or House. Those same people might just end up feeling the same way towards the shows I enjoy.

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Originally Posted by chet1028

Well, your parents are attempting to instill values in you and teach you about the faith that they have experienced throughout their lives which had brought them happiness. They're hope is that you will embrace that same faith and find the same happiness. But you, in your 17 years know better than they do so you are rebelling. It is basic teenager behavior. In 10 years or so, you'll see that your parents are not as dumb as you think.

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i never thought my parents were dumb....were best friends practically so im rebelling? heres the thing i dont like the things the church teaches, heck it could just be that church not the faith! so its not a rebellious thing, i dont stay out late and drink like my many do. i sit in the garage and tear engines apart and sit in my room messing with snakes. lol

I'm surprised none of the older people here have pointed out that you will NEVER be free! Someone is always going to be dictating to you what you may or may or not do. Sometimes it will be in a huge way, and sometimes so minor you won't even notice that you're being forced to behave a certain way.

I don't believe in God, but most of the people I socialize with on a regular basis do. You need to keep in mind that if your parents are believers, they believe with every fiber of their being that your soul is on the line here. In your mother's mind, allowing you to disregard religion is the equivalent of allowing you to step out in front of a semi truck going 100 miles an hour. Your parents are doing what they think is best for you.

You know what else isn't going to happen? You will NEVER see the day when religion isn't forced down your throat. You will encounter it with friends, coworkers, likely even perfect strangers. This is where this religious youth group will actually help you. When you're confronted with religious banter, you will be able to debate respectfully and intelligently. The more of the Bible you know, the easier it will be for you to express your own side of the "debate".

I am not against religion, and I don't necessarily believe that religious people are stupid. I just think they are as misguided as they believe I am :) The more you learn about other people and what makes them tick, the more capable you are of expressing yourself on their level without being manipulated or coming across as hostile. As an atheist I can tell you, when the topic of religion comes up, the religious party is usually expecting anger and hostility out of you, because you're a heathen and that's how heathen's behave.

You don't have to believe in something to know about it. Knowledge is power, so use this opportunity to learn all that you can because I can assure you, this is a debate that will not end when you turn 18 and are no longer forced to go to church.

As a fellow 17 year old, and someone who spends half the day questioning religious beliefs, I believe that I may be able to understand somewhat where you are coming from. I go to a religious school by choice, but I believe very little (none) of what I learn as fact, and am one of several of my peers who insists on continually questioning things. Thankfully I have teachers who are willing to attempt to answer our questions. I have never had pressure from home to have a religious belief, and I think I can understand your issues of feeling forced into it by your parents. BUT, I have found that it is beneficial to learn these beliefs, even if you don't feel that they will follow you later into life or have any effect on you other than to annoy you.

As others have said before, knowledge of religious beliefs will help you in debates/arguments later in life, either preempting common debate points or providing evidence against others' points or supporting your own.

I also find it important (as somewhat of a side-point) to look at the Bible as either a novel or an allegorical work rather than a literal one. It helps in understanding/tolerating some of what it says.

Also be respectful of the beliefs of those around you, but do not be afraid to question them when you don't agree with or understand them.

As for your parents, while I know I would be very angry if my parents tried to force a set of beliefs on me, as long as this group is not cutting into sorely needed time, just try to tolerate it a little longer until they won't make you go anymore.

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Originally Posted by geeko

As a fellow 17 year old, and someone who spends half the day questioning religious beliefs, I believe that I may be able to understand somewhat where you are coming from. I go to a religious school by choice, but I believe very little (none) of what I learn as fact, and am one of several of my peers who insists on continually questioning things. Thankfully I have teachers who are willing to attempt to answer our questions. I have never had pressure from home to have a religious belief, and I think I can understand your issues of feeling forced into it by your parents. BUT, I have found that it is beneficial to learn these beliefs, even if you don't feel that they will follow you later into life or have any effect on you other than to annoy you.

As others have said before, knowledge of religious beliefs will help you in debates/arguments later in life, either preempting common debate points or providing evidence against others' points or supporting your own.

I also find it important (as somewhat of a side-point) to look at the Bible as either a novel or an allegorical work rather than a literal one. It helps in understanding/tolerating some of what it says.

Also be respectful of the beliefs of those around you, but do not be afraid to question them when you don't agree with or understand them.

As for your parents, while I know I would be very angry if my parents tried to force a set of beliefs on me, as long as this group is not cutting into sorely needed time, just try to tolerate it a little longer until they won't make you go anymore.

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Usually it doesn't cut into things too bad but tonight I was prepping for a race and tearing my quad apart plus doing H. I will be up til 1130

I don't know if your parents would settle for this, but maybe if you agreed to go (with little to no complaint) on nights when you did not have a full schedule, they would let you skip the group if you had a fuller schedule.

It doesn't sound to me like your parents are trying to force you to believe anything, only that you go to the group and think about the possibility.

To the one that talked about a lack of belief not equating a belief system.. it's the same way that you use the 'Right to Religious Freedom" to NOT have to follow a religion. Your belief is that there is no god.

And I haven't seen anyone here saying that not being religious = not having values. Look at it as this... if he were spending every night huddled in his room, never interacting with anyone, never going out with friends, refusing to socialize with his peers, etc... and they said "Look, you're going out to the school function and meeting other people your age." then they'd be trying to do what's best for him. To his parents, a lack of religious belief is just as potentially serious as not having any social interactions.

And again.. no one can force a religion on someone. To be part of a religion you MUST believe in it. Otherwise you're a fake or a nonbeliever. When someone is going to church every sunday, carrying a bible around all day but stealing money from his coworkers and abusing his wife... that's not someone who is following the Christian beliefs, no matter HOW much he pretends to be a good person.

You can paint a cross on someone's face and duct tape a bible to their hand. It doesn't make them believe, thus you can't force them to be a part of the faith.

As far as "what about the kids who don't have a choice"? The parents make the decision about what's best, right down to "Can you allow your kid to ride dangerous dirt bikes" and "Should I get to tell my kid what to eat" and "what amount of faith will my kids be told is good". Obviously from many many responses here, being exposed to church and religion did not force anyone to believe in it, now did it?

And, I do agree that most of the religious stuff is detrimental... which I already said. But I respect other people's RIGHT to religious freedom.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

The FACT is, no one can prove God/Jesus/Allah/FSM doesn't exist

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We can prove that omnipotence is a logical paradox.
Omniscience is a bit tougher to tackle, but there are some good essays on the subject that seem sound enough to me, if a little more complicated than "microwave a burrito so hot that <insert name here> cannot eat it".

Without either, the term "god" seems a bit of an overstatement to describe a being.

Parents can't force belief on someone, but they have the power to force a lie out of someone or face serious consequences. Forcing a child to choose between lying (about something as personal as religious beliefs in particular) or food/housing/happiness can be extremely mentally damaging to a developing mind, and is tantamount to child abuse.

edit:

Final thought for the night

If parents have a right to force religion (religious actions, at the very least) on a child just because they live under the same roof..

Does that child, when grown up, have the right to force atheism upon his/her parents if they should not be able to house themselves later in life and move in with their kid?

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Originally Posted by Ridinandreptiles

They aren't hardcore. Her words are "it teaches you good things and how to be a good person" yeah, like I need to be lectured about how realationships are bad and my snakes want to temp me cause their te devil. No thanks. I can be a good person without that crap

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The bible is full of horrible things that would get people sentenced to death in our society, and many of the horrific things were done by god himself! Soddom and Gomorrah (spelling?) = arson and mass murder, and that is just one example. I, too, can't stand that people feel the need to be religious in order to feel like their moral compass will point in the correct direction. If you are only being good for fear of eternal damnation and I am being good simply for the sake of being good, who's reasons are more noble?\

Love it, Mike!

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Originally Posted by mainbutter

Final thought for the night

If parents have a right to force religion (religious actions, at the very least) on a child just because they live under the same roof..

Does that child, when grown up, have the right to force atheism upon his/her parents if they should not be able to house themselves later in life and move in with their kid?

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This is great, lol


"As long as you're under MY roof you'll be going ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE on Sunday mornings!"

Justice served hot and fresh

now they want me to go to a group because it is one my buddy goes to its like i like my friend but i still dont want to ickkk

I'm pretty ambivalent about religion, so I'm going to focus on the family side of things.

I think I remember you saying your parents wanted you to attend group to instill values. Well, what better people to teach you values than them? Would you be happier spending the time participating in a family board game night (as one example) rather than be stuck in your group? If so, suggest it. Parents aren't around forever, and while it may be a little awkward in the beginning, I think that as an older adult you might appreciate having spent the extra time with them. They'll probably be flattered that you want to spend time with them, and it'll feel less like they need to worry about you. You worry less about the snake cuddled up on your lap than you do the snake trying to sneak away into the couch, you know?

I think it'd be a good compromise because you'd at least be home with access to your pets and quads. Besides, if your parents get busy, game night gets cancelled, and you still probably won't have to go to group! :)

So I had the whole morals and values crap pulled on me again and that it is their parental duty blah blah blah. Then I said that all they want to do is expose me to THEIR religion and that if I wanted to be another religion that request would e spat upon.

Wow, nice respect they're showing you.

Great values.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

Wow, nice respect they're showing you.

Great values.

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and my argueing and resentment is disrespectful:mad: dont get me wrong they have done alot for me and are the best parents in every aspect but this. some say i have nothin to be complaining about but its so annoying

Wow... How long until you're 18?

8 months. i would truely speak my mind but this forum is too strict about language

New to the discussion and have been bad and not read the previous pages. :oops:

Any girls in the group?

The best way to look at these things is not the imposition but the opportunities they give.

So this is a good time to practice socialisation and learning how to be civil in a discussion with someone who holds different beliefs than you. You will be stunned later to find how rare that gift is and how well those who have it can progress in life.

It may also provide you with a framework to discuss your choices in the area of religion with your parents. To them they would be failing as parents if they didn't try - they are not doing it out of malice. Talking to others who may be in the exact same situation can only help you understand their viewpoint even if you never agree with it.

Just my ignorant 2 cents. :oops:

- - - Updated - - -

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Originally Posted by Ridinandreptiles

8 months. i would truely speak my mind but this forum is too strict about language

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To be fair - if you can't explain it without breaking the language rules then you need to work on your expression skills.

Certainly when talking to your parents. :P

[/QUOTE] To be fair - if you can't explain it without breaking the language rules then you need to work on your expression skills.

Certainly when talking to your parents. :P[/QUOTE]


i am able to make a logical, well spoken arguement...but what i am "feeling" is a whole different thing :P

gsarchie- i started on the god delusion and that book is 100% what i needed to read. thanks for pointing that one out to me

Just remember,

As smart as Dawkins undoubtedly is, he is a complete fail in actually talking to people without causing offense. :rofl:

In fact if you leave him alone in a room ungagged he will eventually offend himself. :P

He has all the tact of a chainsaw to the goolies. This is not the way to end up with a happy family.

And that is worth more than any amount of time spent sitting in a room with other people. :gj:

gsarchie- i started on the god delusion and that book is 100% what i needed to read. thanks for pointing that one out to me[/QUOTE]

1) You can call me Bruce, brother.

2) YES!!! Haha, I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you are reading that book! If you come away and still tell me that you believe in god, then I will be 100% okay with that, what matters to me is that you are considering the other side of the argument with an open mind, as it seems that you've been considering the initial side that you were exposed to for a good period of time and still can't quite stomach it. Please let me know how it goes and if you want to engage in any discussion about it while you are still reading it please feel free to PM me and we can chat back and forth. For that matter, feel free to post an open discussion in the off-topic cafe. Mods - can you post right in the QT or is that a place reserved for threads to be moved if they get out of hand? Happy reading and I'm interested to see how you take everything in.

Hot topic subjects, such as religion, politics, etc are encouraged to be started in QT. So, yes, you may start a thread in QT.

Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk 2

Sounds good, Robin. Thank you!

Sorry I also did not read the previous pages but I will offer a bit of advice. Simply put, you are in a coercive situation, you really do not have many options. I would simply do what they tell you to so you can keep the animals but don't try to justify what they are doing now or later in your life. Once you have more independance (not the threat of losing your animals) then you can address these issues with them but until then just try to minimize confrontations.

O know the feelnig as a kid I was forced to go to church and the youth bible groups and other such good for me stuff. ( enjoyed boyscouts ) but I personally believe that all relgion is just for mental piece of mind .. ( my fiance and scientoloigst ) and I find that it just a relgion that like a common sence for idiots type such) .. I say like rest tough it out then once free of it just put it in the past and go one with your life. I have no true relgious believes and I comfotable with my life ( once I can fnd a new spine lol I irked mne so it hurts to even sit up right now even with pain meds for when this happens)

Just remember that turning 18 doesn't mean you can do anything you want to. As long as you live with your parents there will be rules as there should be. Rules help bring structure to your life whether you like it or not. You have a whole life ahead of you to decide if religion is going to be part of it or not.

Like some of the others said you just have to suck it up and bear with it while you are still living at home. Once you are on your own you can do things your way but even then you will have rules and laws that regulate what you can and can't do. Trust me, when you get out on your own there will be many things that you won't like or find annoying but you won't have a choice about. Life is not fair but you have to make the best of what you have.

As for losing your snakes, that is just their way of getting you to follow the rules. Years ago people would take a belt to your butt to do the same thing.

At any rate once you're out on your own you can go to church if you want to or stay at home and do other things. Of course you'll have to find a place that will allow you to have snakes as some places have rules against them. There are compromises to be made in everything you do in life so you better get used to it.

As some of the others said talk with your parents in a civil way and let them know your feelings. If you discuss it with them in an adult manner maybe they will understand your point of view and you all can come to a good comprise that everyone will be happy with.

I am not saying you have to follow their religious beliefs but you do have to follow their rules as long as you are in their home. You can believe any way you want to, that's up to you.

Okay my rant is over I just wanted to put my two cents worth in. Whatever happens I hope it works out for you. Good luck.

Just for reference I have been a Satanist, believed in the idea of Satan, since the 8th Grade...

when I was in High School I was in your situation... My parents wanted me to go to youth groups every Wednesday... And you know what I did.... I went.

i went for 2 years... Why? Out of respect for my parents... They had done everything for me.... Feed me, housed me, and even washed me at on point.... The least I could do is sacrifice some time, for everything they have and had done for me....

Did I like it? Heck no!!!!

but instead of pestering my parents with my objections I took it to my youth group.... I gave them hell, turned everything into a debate... At first I was hoping to get banned, but those turn the other cheek bastards kept welcoming me with open arms lol... I ended up learning a lot about people.. Learning other peoples POV was really the best part...,but To be honest all youth group was was a bunch of local kids hanging out... And I made ton of friends there...

once I turned 18 I stopped going and my parents had no problem with that, since I "gave it a shot"

you snakes will be fine without you hovering over them for a few hours....
And you vehicles aren't going anywhere

my 3 cents

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Originally Posted by lovepig78

i went for 2 years... Why? Out of respect for my parents... They had done everything for me.... Feed me, housed me, and even washed me at on point.... The least I could do is sacrifice some time, for everything they have and had done for me....

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Prison guards feed and house prisoners too but that doesn't mean that prisoners need to respect their prison guards when they leave prison.

So do you worship Satan or just believe in him?

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

Prison guards feed and house prisoners too but that doesn't mean that prisoners need to respect their prison guards when they leave prison.

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By this analogy I'm guessing you had horrible parents.... If not, i don't mean to offend.

And comparing prison to a household is kind of ridiculous, in this situation....

OP seems to have pets and all kinds of motor vehicles... I doubt he is in said prison assumption..

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Originally Posted by gsarchie

So do you worship Satan or just believe in him?

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This not relavent to this thread topic. In short Satan is an idea, to me, to "worship Satan" would make you a Catholic/Christian....

I would gladly continue this threw PMs, but lets keep this thread on topic :3

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Originally Posted by lovepig78

By this analogy I'm guessing you had horrible parents.... If not, i don't mean to offend.

And comparing prison to a household is kind of ridiculous, in this situation....

OP seems to have pets and all kinds of motor vehicles... I doubt he is in said prison assumption..

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I felt the same when I read this. You cannot compare the two.

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Originally Posted by lovepig78

This not relavent to this thread topic. In short Satan is an idea, to me, to "worship Satan" would make you a Catholic/Christian....

I would gladly continue this threw PMs, but lets keep this thread on topic

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No continuation is necessary, I was just curious.

Ok I'm not going to touch the religion thing as it's not even the base lesson your parent's are trying to teach you. At the heart of this whole thing is the price of the decisions you make as a person. You want to keep snakes your parents have set the price to do so, your not being forced to go your disgruntle paying the asking price for your actions. Whats cheesing you off is that you want it both ways you want to have a price you're happy with and keep snakes, and sometimes as adults that's just not always the case. The price could have been run 2 miles a day or repainting the house every year or anything. In life every day you pay the social asking price for your actions. As an adult you have to weigh the options, is what you want worth the price that's being asked. Is making your car payment worth keeping your car, is showing up to work on time worth keeping your job etc etc. So as the adult you want to be treated as your options are thus, pay the price or get rid of the commodity you have the choice.

Think being told to go to a religous group to keep snakes is rough, wait till you get a fulltime job and have a family of your own. From here on out the cost's only go up.

aslo I want to point out i know ths friend for years ( not seen her in years either) but once she got out of high school she let the freedom go to her head . and has paid for it 10 fold over I bet if i see her now she be tellnig me I was so right andshe wished she could do a lot of it over. last I heard of her left the guy she had a child with( and kid) and ran off to meet some guy in washington state. since then I not her from her family or her in over 10 years.
I also got a buddy that lived only a mile away but he does not contact me at all now since high school . heck I have better relationship with my past teachers still than I did with any classmates. I will say once your on your own you will most likey be giving you parents a call a t least once a year needing some help at times.OR at least askign them how they cooked this or that ( if you like me and suck at most cooking lol)

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Originally Posted by lovepig78

By this analogy I'm guessing you had horrible parents.... If not, i don't mean to offend.

And comparing prison to a household is kind of ridiculous, in this situation....

OP seems to have pets and all kinds of motor vehicles... I doubt he is in said prison assumption..

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Whether my parents were good ones or not is immaterial to the truth or falsehood of my argument.

Saying something is "ridiculous" is not an argument.

Would we like to rephrase this as the principle, "People who feed and shelter you deserve your eternal loyalty and respect irregardless of how they treat you in your relationship with them."

The OP does not owe any respect to his parents as they have clearly shown that they are willing to force him with the threat of removing his property if he chooses not to go to a certain location they deem necessary. They are attempting to bully him into their ideals which is entirely contemptable. If parents such as this realized that their kids do not owe them respect because they were able to perform the amazing act of reproduction that every organism from a protazoa on up possesses then we would have far less of this parental bullying and the world would be a much better place :gj:.

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

Whether my parents were good ones or not is immaterial to the truth or falsehood of my argument.

Saying something is "ridiculous" is not an argument.

Would we like to rephrase this as the principle, "People who feed and shelter you deserve your eternal loyalty and respect irregardless of how they treat you in your relationship with them."

The OP does not owe any respect to his parents as they have clearly shown that they are willing to force him with the threat of removing his property if he chooses not to go to a certain location they deem necessary. They are attempting to bully him into their ideals which is entirely contemptable. If parents such as this realized that their kids do not owe them respect because they were able to perform the amazing act of reproduction that every organism from a protazoa on up possesses then we would have far less of this parental bullying and the world would be a much better place :gj:.

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Unless OP can prove he pays for the electric bill, since his snakes use them, he pays for the water he showers with, pays for the internet he uses to make thread posts, pays for the space he lives in, and pays for the gas on his vehicles......

Then and only then will OP not owe his parents anything....


And going to youth group doesn't mean you are going to get brainwashed... OP seems to know what he believes in...

im 1000% sure OP wouldn't get brainwashed

Honestly, I don't see the big deal.

You're going to be 18 soon and out of the house. So suck it up for the next few months.

IMO, until you live on your own, it's your parents house and their rules.

You're right, it's not the end of the world. It is just very frustrating.

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Originally Posted by lovepig78

Unless OP can prove he pays for the electric bill, since his snakes use them, he pays for the water he showers with, pays for the internet he uses to make thread posts, pays for the space he lives in, and pays for the gas on his vehicles......

Then and only then will OP not owe his parents anything....


And going to youth group doesn't mean you are going to get brainwashed... OP seems to know what he believes in...

im 1000% sure OP wouldn't get brainwashed

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Ok cool, so people who pay for other peoples electric, water, internet, and rent bills (oh and gas expenses) get the ability to seize property from the receiver of these benefits if said receiver does not do as the they are told. Oh and the receiver has to respect these donators for the rest of his life even though he did not ever even choose this contract, he just happens to be stuck in it because of biology.
Not to mention that these donators went through all the processes of taking on the responsibility of the OP by going through the magical art of copulation. :rolleye2:

And what exactly does the OP "owe" to these people? Money? Respect? Time? Please clarify.

It's kind of like paying your bills. If you don't make the payments they come take your car. Once he is out on his own he can respect their ideals or not and he can respect them or not. But as so many have already said as long as he is living in their house there are rules to follow. Once he is on his own he can do whatever he wants as long as he conforms to society's rules and laws.

There will always be rules to follow no matter where you are it's time to learn that now.

As for comparing home to a prison, you got to be kidding.

On rules - yes, 'their house their rules'...but once rules cross That Line, it turns into a Tyranny situation. Rules should not be so concrete that compromises can't be reached, especially with an older teen.

On 'prison' - or rather the quote "As for comparing home to a prison, you got to be kidding." Why do you have to be kidding?? Home can indeed be a prison if that's how you're treated. If your parents act more like wardens, controlling every aspect of your life, then home is in fact a prison. I know someone whose life was like that. His parents repressed him in every way. Everything had to be their way or nothing. No compromise, no 'let's talk about this'. He was a prisoner in his own home...and the scariest part is that they never noticed what they were doing. They still don't see it to this day, and never will. He got out of there when he finally realized he had nothing left to lose - they'd taken it all away. And let me tell you...I saw all this. I'm VERY glad he chose to get the heck out of there... it allowed him to actually start living.
Sorry...that's a touchy subject for me...

Anyway, when parents refuse to compromise even when the 'child' tries to have a serious discussion on the topic, that's when respect no longer applies. Bottom line - respect is EARNED. By either party, parents or offspring.
If I were in this situation, I would start looking into options for getting another place to live once I was 18. :)

Well I still believe as I said as long as you live in their home you abide by their rules. Legally he is still considered a "child" and therefore his parents are responsible for him. Now I agree with you that once he is old enough to go out on his own then that's what he should do if he is not happy there.

I know this is not the popular stance here on this thread but the "child" should not be the one making the rules around the house. Yes some parents can be too strict but they seem to let him do pretty much what he wants in others venues. Don't you think he should comprise some as well? I don't know him or his parents and I don't know how things are around his house but he seems to have it pretty good from what he has said so far.

I too have known people that grew up in extremely strict homes and most of these people went on to become good successful people when they left home.

As for respect, I'm a lot older than you probably and we were always taught to respect our parents after all they do everything for you until you are grown and leave home. You don't think they have earned your respect after all that?

Don't mean to rant just my two cents worth.

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Originally Posted by Roadtrash

It's kind of like paying your bills. If you don't make the payments they come take your car. Once he is out on his own he can respect their ideals or not and he can respect them or not. But as so many have already said as long as he is living in their house there are rules to follow. Once he is on his own he can do whatever he wants as long as he conforms to society's rules and laws.

There will always be rules to follow no matter where you are it's time to learn that now.

As for comparing home to a prison, you got to be kidding.

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Paying your bills is a voluntary transaction between two independant parties where there is contract law which states that property can be taken if the debt is not paid. Clearly being born into a family is not a voluntary transaction, a child has no say whatsoever where he is born or what rules he has to be subject to. I do agree that if he wants to keep the animals he has to conform to his parents rules but this is a situation of force and therefore should not invoke any kind of respect. They are incapable of using logic and empirical evidence to change the OP's mind so they are using force to attempt to bully him into obeying their ideals.

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Originally Posted by Roadtrash

Well I still believe as I said as long as you live in their home you abide by their rules. Legally he is still considered a "child" and therefore his parents are responsible for him. Now I agree with you that once he is old enough to go out on his own then that's what he should do if he is not happy there.

I know this is not the popular stance here on this thread but the "child" should not be the one making the rules around the house. Yes some parents can be too strict but they seem to let him do pretty much what he wants in others venues. Don't you think he should comprise some as well? I don't know him or his parents and I don't know how things are around his house but he seems to have it pretty good from what he has said so far.

I too have known people that grew up in extremely strict homes and most of these people went on to become good successful people when they left home.

As for respect, I'm a lot older than you probably and we were always taught to respect our parents after all they do everything for you until you are grown and leave home. You don't think they have earned your respect after all that?

Don't mean to rant just my two cents worth.

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Sure, so long as he lives in their home he "has to" abide by their rules but that is a very different statement than he "should" abide by their rules. The choice is up to him, if he wants to keep the animals, he has to submit. If he wants to not go to church then he loses the animals. In the same way that if someone is robbing me, I can choose to keep my life by giving them what they want but it is not a very moral situation.

What rules is the OP making? He is simply stateing a personal preference "I would like to keep snakes and ride bikes without being forced to go to church." In a rational household this would be no problem.

Yeah and only 1/3 of smokers die from lung cancer but this doesnt mean they should smoke. The remaining folks might be able to walk but maybe they could be marathon runners if they never smoked.

Yeah, you were "taught", you weren't "reasoned" into that belief that you have to respect them, they "told" you to and I'd bet they reinforced it in a myriad of ways.

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Originally Posted by Argentra

On rules - yes, 'their house their rules'...but once rules cross That Line, it turns into a Tyranny situation. Rules should not be so concrete that compromises can't be reached, especially with an older teen.

Anyway, when parents refuse to compromise even when the 'child' tries to have a serious discussion on the topic, that's when respect no longer applies. Bottom line - respect is EARNED. By either party, parents or offspring.
If I were in this situation, I would start looking into options for getting another place to live once I was 18. :)

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Teens who think rules are flexiable are learning what when it comes to real life? Not all rules can or need to be flexiable. If rules for kids especially older teens aren't concrete how can you expect them to respect or even concider Laws that keep me and my family safe?

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Originally Posted by Freakie_frog

Teens who think rules are flexiable are learning what when it comes to real life? Not all rules can or need to be flexiable. If rules for kids especially older teens aren't concrete how can you expect them to respect or even concider Laws that keep me and my family safe?

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What laws would that be that keep you and your family safe?

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

What laws would that be that keep you and your family safe?

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how about speed limits, drinking and driving, texting and driving, shoplifting, legal gun ownership, drug use, passing a stopped school bus? just to name a few.. how many teens are killed every year because of texting and driving? or people killed by morons who think drinking and driving is a flexable rule, our state had a mother of two killed by two shoplifters fleeing the scene, how many parents have to bury their children because someone thought 25 in a neighborhood is flexable? ect ect ect..If you don't get your kids to follow the little rules because you're flexable what makes you think someone who they don't know can get them to follow the big ones.