Parents

[olstyn]

I had my fair share of paranoia if my church was a cult etc. (I found out my church is not a cult. Whew)

The definitions of those two words are VERY close to each other:

religion - a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects

cult - a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies

I've always thought of them as mostly synonymous, with the only significant difference being a matter of scale; a religion is just a cult that has gotten big enough to have gained widespread social acceptance.

Basically, what I'm saying is that your church *is* a cult, but that it's nothing you need to worry about (or that you'd have to worry about it regardless of which church you attend, take your pick).

[gsarchie]

You're welcome, Mike!

I only suggest the book to you because the fact that you resist what is being forced down your throat, to me, says that you are already questioning things anyway. This book merely presents a point of view and you are free to do with the information whatever you like. If nothing else the information in it will allow you to play Devil's Advocate, as was suggested by another member here, at your group. I'm not trying to get you kicked out, just make it more interesting. Also, it may give you the ability to open the eyes of others.

[Vasiliki]

We, by nature, want to make our own choices. When someone tells us to do something, our first reaction is always a defensive one. Whether it's a full on emotion, or just the brief feeling of 'Why?' Even if it's a good suggestion, there is still that split second, or half second, or fraction of a second, where we question it. That is human nature. The length of the reaction is based on the situation at hand.

By the sounds of it, you are just as frustrated as I was. My mother insisted I go to a Jehova's Witness group once a week when I was younger. At first, I couldn't really care less. Then I got bored. Then I got older. I started thinking, listening, analyzing. I started to realize I really hated it, hated going, hated being forced to hold hands with strangers and pray about something that didn't make sense to me. I began to get frustrated and resentful as well. Not because of what was actually going on, but because my control of the situation had been taken away. I started to feel like a caged animal. And as such, felt the distinct pang of defensiveness. It wasn't about the religion completely. It was about the fact I wasn't allowed to leave, or even express my own beliefs or ask certain questions.

So your situation makes sense to me. My mother eventually relented and I was allowed to skip going. First once, then again, until finally I was only seeing this group at special occasions. And then, not at all.

By holding me 'captive', it taught me to resent their system and way of doing things. If I find something unappealing, I should have the freedom to remove myself from that situation. And that's why I hated it.

The frustration you're feeling is normal, and expected. You don't find interest in it, not emotionall, intellectually or spiritaully. So naturally your reaction is going to be to remove yourself.

Is it possible to bring a book or something to these groups? I know when I started to 'tune out', I would bring a book to read. It was my 'flag' for telling people I was not listening. So even while I was there, I was busy reading about Frodo trying to take the ring to Mordor, and having a girl-crush on Stryder. It helped. Of course, I was questioned about it, but at least it made things interesting for me. I'd rather people ask me why I'm reading, rather than what I believe spiritually.

If your parents are very strong believers of God, then I can tell you their desire for you to believe stems from their 'protective' side. As parents. They don't want you to go to Hell, where they believe that you'll suffer an eternity of hardship and torture. If you look at it in the most basic light, it's because they don't want to see you hurt or suffering. Introduce the religion aspect of it, and it starts to get a little muddled.

If you feel they are open enough to possibly talking on the subject, perhaps ask them if there are other similar youth groups that aren't religous based, or perhaps, encompass different religions? If they want you to go to learn something, then why not learn about other religions as well?

But, if they are the type that will "Not have any of that in my house!", then I say: Keep going. But, do things for yourself while you're there. Read. Draw. Do something to 'remove' yourself from the situation. They might be able to control where you go physically at the moment (due to being underage and living with them still), but they can't control your mind and what you do while you're there.

[Ridinandreptiles]

They aren't hardcore. Her words are "it teaches you good things and how to be a good person" yeah, like I need to be lectured about how realationships are bad and my snakes want to temp me cause their te devil. No thanks. I can be a good person without that crap

[CatandDiallo]

They aren't hardcore. Her words are "it teaches you good things and how to be a good person" yeah, like I need to be lectured about how realationships are bad and my snakes want to temp me cause their te devil. No thanks. I can be a good person without that crap

This is something that irks me.

I am a very good, kind and compassionate person and was raised completely, 100% free of religion. I am very open-minded, and accept EVERYONE for who they are (including all spectrums of sexualities, genders, races, etc).

I did not need an oppressive religion to tell me how to treat people correctly (in my opinion, many religions don't teach that any way - mainly directed towards certain groups of people), and I'm a grown woman and I'm doing quite dandy!

[MrLang]

Where are the religious lurkers...

[Kaorte]

This is something that irks me.

I am a very good, kind and compassionate person and was raised completely, 100% free of religion. I am very open-minded, and accept EVERYONE for who they are (including all spectrums of sexualities, genders, races, etc).

I did not need an oppressive religion to tell me how to treat people correctly (in my opinion, many religions don't teach that any way - mainly directed towards certain groups of people), and I'm a grown woman and I'm doing quite dandy!

I agree. I believe religion has good intentions, but is often used in a way to manipulate peoples thinking.

I am also very accepting of others. This is not something that my parents or religion taught me. I taught it to myself. I logically don't see a reason to dislike anyone based on physical appearance or beliefs. I may not agree with everyone, but I respect their right to believe what they choose, as everyone should be free to do so.

[Raptor]

They aren't hardcore. Her words are "it teaches you good things and how to be a good person" yeah, like I need to be lectured about how realationships are bad and my snakes want to temp me cause their te devil. No thanks. I can be a good person without that crap

Using the bible as a moral compass is a bit skewed anyway. There's plenty of things in there that are rules that most in our society would be horrified if they occurred. While some of the rules are good, the majority of them belong in a time many centuries past.

However, it does annoy me a great deal that people think that because I don't belong to a religion, I can't be a good person.

[Daybreaker]

The god Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

I have this book

[Mike41793]

“Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”

— George Carlin