Generally what you're trying sounds like the right thing to do and seems consistent with the advice I'd usually give. Which is to thaw the rodent in the same room as the snake (use cooler water - warmer generally makes it easier for bacteria to grow when it's defrosting), then using the hairdryer to focus on the head of the rodent (the head is naturally hotter than the body in mammals and it being hotter will encourage the snake to strike there) and offering it the dark.
He might be nervous of your heat signature. You say he's scared of tongs. Even when you've dangled the rodent down, if he can see a big blob of human sized heat he may be put off by it. Are you standing as far back as possible?
The fact that he's interested in his heat emitter is a good sign, it sounds like maybe he's interpreting it as a source of food heat if he is 'harassing' it, but then getting disinterested because it doesn't smell of food. That suggests to me that he's hungry.
Are you interacting with him each day? He might want to eat but be nervous because he anticipates human contact. I would avoid even touching him or bothering him at all for at least a few days between attempts. (But you say he's been force fed by a vet? This is usually a last resort and isn't usually done unless the snake has gone a LONG time without eating.)
One thing it might be is that your hot side temperatures are a tiny bit low. It mightn't even make a difference but you usually want to be aiming around 88. I wouldn't expect it being a little bit cooler to affect his appetite, but it might do - no harm in trying it. I'd bump up his temps a bit, leave him for a minimum of 5 days, and then:
*defrost rat/mouse in cool water in the same room as him
*wait until dark and as low light as possible
*use a hairdryer to focus on the head. Open his enclosure when you're doing this to 'waft' the smell in - if he starts going *blelele* with his tongue it's a good sign.
*Grip the rodent not by the tail - they don't come flying down in nature. Try to grip by the hips and imitate walking and keep yourself as far away and out of sight as you physically can
*If he shows even a tiny bit of interest, you can keep reheating. If after quite a few attempts it just isn't getting anywhere, reheat a final time and leave outside one of his hides or in the open and remove in the morning if uneaten.
I know I've just kind of given the same advice but there's a reason you've been given it - it usually works! Unless I'm misreading the situation it doesn't seem like it's been too long and you may be stressing him out by trying to often - sorry if I've misinterpreted or that isn't the case. I'm just surprised to hear of forcefeeding after 3 months - but I suppose growing snakes are going to be more sensitive to periods without food.
I'm sure a lot more experienced people will be along to add their tips or correct me. I'm sure he'll be eating in the end.
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