I read through the entire thread about Toref.
Personally I don't think re-homing a pet is a bad thing especially with a reptile where, let's face it, they probably wouldn't miss us the way a dog would. (cats are reptiles right?). The key is to make sure you find a good home. In your case that's not simple as a freckled tree monitor requires advanced care. Perhaps you are thinking about returning him to the breeder?
There are many reasons to re-home a pet. Space problems, lack of time or money or interest, lifestyle changes etc. Usually this is about the health and safety of the animal. But in your case there is a much more important reason:
Toref may cause a threat to your health and safety.
I had never heard before that all monitors can be slightly poisonous. I thought that was an adaptation than only the Komodos had, but it makes sense.
Many of us have the credo that the animal's health is paramount, but that's not entirely true. You and your future with your family is what's paramount.
My sister was a kidney recipient. I know how exhausting and vulnerable that can be. If Toref has the potential to threaten your health, then you must consider him a 'hot' and that's not what you signed up for.
Don't feel guilty. You shouldn't handle him in a way to try and calm him and another person might be able to. In this case, it may be what's best for everyone.
Really enjoyed his thread.
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