Addiction struggles?

[Craiga 01453]

I'm so happy to see this thread pick up steam. The more people open up and share, the more people will understand. And, like I said, I do it in hopes that maybe one person finds the strength to talk about their struggle, to ask for help, whether for themselves or for a loved one.

This disease is cunning, manipulative and holds no reservations. The only way to begin to end the suffering is to raise awareness. The people suffering aren't just miscreants, black sheep, lowlifes or trouble-makers. They aren't morally or genetically wrong. They are people. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends....cooks, carpenter's, lawyers, nurses, mechanics, accountants, teachers, grocery store shelf stockers.
This disease doesn't pick off the weak like some people seem to think. And it's never as easy as "why don't you just stop?"
The answer: "I cant". And for the thousands that die every day, they couldn't. But with awareness comes understanding. And with understanding comes help.

A good point was raised earlier that I'd like to follow up on:
As the addicts, we don't care who we hurt. And on some level that is very true. But it's important to say that I never stopped caring that my mother went years without sleeping peacefully through the night, or my father was ashamed of me, or that my brother, my best friend, was afraid to ask me to be his best man when he got married...
I knew what I was doing to my family...and it broke my heart. But it also fueled my addiction. I tried every day to die, so that I wouldn't have to face my family and say "I'm sorry".
...thankfully, I lived. And when I said I was sorry, I meant it. And my family has forgiven. It's been almost 6 years...and I just recently got a text from my father that said he was proud of me, proud of how far I've come. And he closed it with "welcome back, my son".