Personal, venting.... so fustrating.....

[Skyrivers]

You've gotten great advice. You are in love with the idea of your ex - the crazy, sexy, cool, kooky - whatever - that made you fall in love in with her in the first place. But the REAL her was treacherous with your love.

She still holds power over you. That is the reality. It sucks - for you and your innocent current GF. But because she left you (in a totally selfish and despicable way, by the way), she's the unattainable fruit and you have no closure, so that gives her this undeserved measure of power over you.

For your own sanity I would cease all communication with the ex. You don't need her as a GF and you don't need her as a friend. She wields too much control over your heart, and your heart cannot be trusted. To me, the WAY she left you - that alone is enough to chop her out of your life for good. That is cold blooded and cruel. We don't know her side - heck, maybe you deserved it (devil's advocate), but if everything is as you said, those personality traits don't go away. They just get masked for a bit.

If you are thinking clearly, with your head and power of reason, and you truly have no love for your GF, then you should end it. But I would never do it with the thought of freeing up space for the ex. That tiger showed you her stripes and you should consider her an ex for good.

After thinking on the dilemma you are facing, I don't want to come across as self righteous, speaking as a woman that has been single for a very long time, my question to you is do you want someone in your life or do you need someone? It toke me forever to realize I don't need someone in my life just to take up time and space, would I like a great guy to watch Star Trek reruns, bring my a delicious dinner (taco bell bean burrito) random make fart noises with, sing off key sure sounds fun but I figure if it happens it happens if not there is always the tried and true , Crazy Cat Lady to fall back on whatever you choice do it because it feels right to the very center of your being don't chase ghost those are better left in scrap books. Best wishes always

I think all this adds up to just being alone again. I am ok with being alone. Just sad the EX is the way she is. I ended things with the current GF last night. Was honest with her all along. She was hoping to change things by being a better option that would love and care for me. I don't love her though and so have ended it.