Quote Originally Posted by ladywhipple02 View Post
Coming from a woman's perspective (and one who's been jerked around and is currently in a relationship she is questioning due to said jerking) you need to get out of the current relationship you're in. You're not committed to her, and you're wasting her time and yours. It's not fair to either one of you.

My recommendation would be to stay alone for awhile. Figure YOU out. Seek counseling as others have said... even if it's not professional, even if it's just talking to different people and getting different perspectives. It sounds like you've lost yourself a bit and that you're trying to jump into things that make you feel good and that maybe you're looking for someone to create happiness for you. Let me tell you what I've learned: Other people CANNOT create happiness for you. Maybe they can make you feel good for awhile, but only YOU can create your own happiness. You'll always end up disappointed in the end... and probably hurting someone else too.
I did end the relationship with the current GF last night. I am happy with my life and content with everything else but missing the EX. Not looking for someone to make me feel good and I don't feel bad about myself. Just sad missing what I thought I had and now the EX is asking for a second chance.




Quote Originally Posted by Pengil View Post
Having been through a situation with many similarities to yours, I would, hands down, not advise going back to your ex. You can definitely forgive her, but that doesn't mean you have to, or should, go back to her. Instead of thinking of it in terms of potential self-preservation, try to think of it as something that would be good for the growth of both of you: You are saving yourself from being used, manipulated, and (probably) cheated on again, while she desperately needs, NEEDS to learn that she can't just rebuild bridges after burning them down. As much as it sucks, ultimately, you win, she wins, and whomever the two of you end up actually dating will win as well.

First loves are tough, especially if it was fairly long-term, and especially if the breakup wasn't mutual. I feel you on so many levels with this, and my words come from my own experience. Block the ex, have someone you trust delete her phone number. Tell your current girlfriend how you've been feeling, and give her the option to move on if you're undecided what to do there (this sounds sucky, but it is so much less cruel for her than walking a tightrope and wondering whether or not she'll be dumped for someone else when she wakes up every day). Lean on your friends, cry if you need to, and consider looking into some sort of counseling or therapy to help you resolve your feelings about your ex and the fallout of those feelings. In another 5 years, I bet you'll end up being really, really happy with yourself.
It has been almost 3 years and still miss her very much. So many little things meant so much. I have always been completely honest with the current GF. She hopes to change me. LOL. You cant change anyone. Just like I cant change who the EX is. Just makes me sad that the EX is that way.