I agree with just about everyone. It sounds like some counseling will help, but definitely try and move on. It may be hard, but I have had a family member go through something very similar - only he relented and let the woman back in again and again only to be hurt and used. It took several years for him to see what all of us were seeing and finally end it. It was terrible for all involved and caused a lot of issues in the family.

I can't speak to your current relationship, but a relationship that has one party in love and one that is just present (no matter how much they 'like' the other) is not fair to either party. If she (the current one) is also just with you because you get along and are comfortable together but love is not part of it yet, then maybe see what happens. But I think both parties need to be at or want to be at the same state emotionally for something long term to be successful.

Good luck. I hope you find what makes you happy.