So you shared your face with us, but what makes you YOU?

[zina10]

My mother had a very rough childhood herself from what little I know of it, but her mothering contained such features as hours of screaming about how worthless I was after I confessed suicidal ideation with a specific plan and access to relevant materials followed by loss of my "privilege" to close the bathroom door, calling me fat until I cried at the height of my anorexia when I was clinically underweight and other mothers were starting to comment (unfortunately I've currently swung too far in the other direction weight-wise and it's a long process working my way back down without relapsing into unhealthy behaviors), and yelling at me about how I should just give up and work at Mcdonald's while making me re-write my ivy league application essays (I'm inclined to think this sabotaged me on those ones). I would have stopped speaking to her long ago if the cost of it hadn't been being unable to speak to my father as well. That's only changed in the last few weeks, so I unfortunately had to stop speaking to him for the better part of a year. The right support really makes all the difference and it's great you're able to provide that for your kid!

I don't know if my boyfriend is a Katie or not, but he certainly has his shining moments. He's having a rough time right now because he's less than a month away from finishing his Ph.d., is from a country that isn't doing too well politically, and his father has age-related health issues. But he came and stood with me for hours waiting for the tow truck when my car broke down recently, shows me puppy videos like husky puppies hanging out in a fridge when I'm having a bad day, and will come along and tell my therapist for me if I'm becoming unhealthily obsessed with weight loss, or re-organizing everything, or whatever if I won't tell her myself.

Wow, Kcl, {{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}

Families can be so complicated. And like you said, sometimes the issues run through the generations. Its sad, really, but what can you do ?

Sometimes all you can do is break the cycle, break of contact, like you have. You have to think of yourself for now. You need to make it.
What the future will bring, time will tell, but for now, take care of yourself and make yourself a priority.

Your boyfriend sounds like a gem