Okay, I guess I should share too (sorry it's kind of long). This a combo bio and what makes me, well, me! Feel free to skim it, but if you do read, you'll get a clear picture of who I am.
I am a male heterosexual (I don't judge and have no problem with any sexual orientation - I am just being clear about me) and 38 years old this month. I work in NYC in Finance as a Portfolio Manager and Research Analyst. I have been with the same company since I got into finance 13 years ago this May and have worked my way up through the ranks. I work from home most days because I live about 3 hours from NYC and because of health issues (more on that momentarily).
I met my ex-wife when I was 23 and got married at 27, for many of the wrong reasons, including I was in kidney failure and had incredible anxiety and depression and frankly, I settled.
I divorced at 35 (after a year long and horrible and drawn out divorce). I should have done it sooner, as it was a toxic and negative situation, but I was scared and believed in marriage and making things work. When I realized I was doing all the making things work, and therefore, it wasn't working, I filed for divorce. There were some other crappy things me ex did that made it easy for me to file, but I don't need to go into that. I am just thankful she made it so easy to make a decision to file.
2 years ago this June, and 4 months after my divorce was final, and after 1 1/2 years of being single (I did not date when going through the divorce - too much on my plate and didn't want others to deal with that baggage and I didn't have much to give), I met the love of my life, Katie. I moved in with Katie in July of last year (2017) and we became engaged in September of 2017. We are in no rush as we have both been married before. However, we wanted to make a serious commitment to each other. We are each others world and life and we adore each other. She is my best friend and vice versa. We are both so thankful and lucky to have found each other, and we know it. We would probably still have amazing chemistry and be in love if not for what we went through prior (her situation was similar), but having been through hell, we are so incredibly appreciative of one another and how kind and loving we are to each other, and others. We are true partners and we are soul mates.
Together, in our nice little ranch (with a finished basement) here in Connecticut, we have a lot of pets. We have 5 dogs (I brought 2 and she had 3) and 6 reptile tanks with 3 snakes, 3 Leopard Geckos, and one Blue Tongue Skink.
I am a very passionate person. I devote a lot of time and energy into the things I care about and enjoy. I am also loyal and have strong morals and integrity. I believe in commitments and promises and in doing the right thing.
In addition to reptile keeping (and spending time with the 5 canines) I also collect high end liquor, mostly Whiskey (specifically Scotch, Bourbon, and Rye, with cask strength and unique barrel aging being my specialty), and have over 200 bottles of high end whiskey and another 100 bottles of miscelanous high end liquors like tequila, rum, cognac, barrel aged gin, etc. I collect and age cigars as well. I smoke cigars about 1-2X a week at most, and have a drink a few times a week, but never more than a drink. I collect and enjoy, but hate the feeling of being drunk. Also, not good with limited kidney function and lots of meds.
I fly RC airplanes and most exciting, I race cars as well as have a very fast street car. When I realized I was going to have a kidney transplant, I began racing (time trials not actual races) a formula car. I have a picture below, but it's a modified Formula Mazda and has a 13b Rotary engine making 230 horsepower. The car weighs 1150 pounds, but produces a ton of downforce. About 1500 pounds of downforce at 145 MPH. At 150MPH I can drive the car upside down it's so glued to the road. The regular Formula Mazda's make 185 horsepower vs. my 230 horsepower and I have bigger rotors and 4 piston calipers on my car. I cannot run spec races, but I can use for time trials and as a track car. It pulls 2.5G's in corners and brakes at 140MPH at about 2.3G's. It's amazing and makes me feel alive!
My (weekend) street car is a 2004 Porsche 911 Turbo (heavily modified and with a stick shift, of course). It has 100 pounds removed and weighs 3,300 pounds now. It has bigger rear tires, lighter wheels, suspension work and is lowered, engine mods, stage 3 clutch, short-shift kit, bigger hybrid turbos, fuel injectors, inlet hoses, plenum, and boost hoses, bigger rotors and 6-piston racing calipers up front with the stock 4-piston (with bigger rotors though) on the rear, and a custom engine tune from one of the top tuners in the world. It now makes about 675HP and 715 LB/FT of torque. It's all wheel drive, so that's about 600 LB/FT at the wheels. It does a ten second quarter mile all day and is a pleasure to drive, even if you are not nailing it. Of course, it's black on black.
My kidneys began failing when I was 23 and I almost died in the hospital after going to the ER and being told my potassium was 7.8 and then 7.9 on the second blood draw. At about 8.0 your heart stops as potassium regulates your heart. Too low, it doesn't fire and beat, too high and it overloads and shuts down. That made me begin to realize how important and precious life is. Then, on thanksgiving morning, 2005 (I was 25), my father dropped dead at 58. Yep, I believe in cherishing every day now and living life to the fullest - CARPE DIEM!
At 32 (2012), my mother gave me a kidney when I was in full renal failure. At the point it would have been dialysis or death if she hadn't given me her kidney.
I still struggle with health and side effects from medicine, being immune suppressed, and having a kidney that doesn't work near 100% in my body. However, I am very happy to be alive and appreciate who and what I have in my life.
In a weird way, I am glad all that happened. I learned what some people never learn. Appreciate what you have. Cherish the people in your life. Do your best and live with integrity and morals so you do not have regrets (at least big ones). I have also battled depression and anxiety my entire life. Having all that happen put a lot in perspective for me and I do not sweat the small stuff so much anymore.
Finally, I have been manic depressive since I was 9 (brought on at a young age by PTSD - that story is for another day). Talk about stigma's right? Depression and anxiety are bad enough, but people hear manic depressive/bi-polar and they immediately think you are crazy. Not the case with me. I do not like being mean, feeling out of control, or being impulsive (the latter being the toughest one to deal with for me). I take what meds I can (difficult because of the transplant and I am unable to take anti-depressants because they do not work well when you are bi-polar, even though I lean much more towards depression) to take the edge off and go to therapy and work really hard at it. I do not consider myself a victim and take responsibility for my actions. At times, that can be exhausting, but it's always worth it. I have developed a good brain-mouth filter and also a brain-brain filter.
When I met Katie, I told her I learned a lot of what not to do from my family (all men in my family for generations on my father's side were untreated manic depressive). I told her, "I won't lie, hit, put down, call names, or cheat." Does that make me a saint, or a perfect partner? No. However, I will not do those things. Lucky for me, we were meant to be anyway, but she seemed to realize I was serious about that and it wasn't just lip service.
I do not feel bad for myself for having such a terrible mental illness from such a young age, or for the kidney's failing for that matter. It's all part of who I am and like who I am today. Also, having to grow up with manic depression and anxiety I learned how to deal with it growing up. Was it hard at times? You bet! It still is! However, I have been trying to understand and cope with my tendencies since I was 9! 29 years now of working at it. That has helped too.
Originally Posted by dakski
Okay, I guess I should share too (sorry it's kind of long). This a combo bio and what makes me, well, me! Feel free to skim it, but if you do read, you'll get a clear picture of who I am.
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