My mother turned off the heat mat!! :'(

[tttaylorrr]

pffft! this...this right here is why kids want a "safe place" to run and cry if it rains too hard...we equate moving a mirror to mental abuse....

he never said they were equal: he stated the behavior described by OP is a common behavior for abusers described by the victims he's worked with. this is why he used the term "red flag." you tried to equate her being upset to a tantrum; he tried to explain that OP mom's behavior can have serious consequences on a person if they get out of hand.

just trying to help you understand where they were coming from.