Parents

[Vasiliki]

We, by nature, want to make our own choices. When someone tells us to do something, our first reaction is always a defensive one. Whether it's a full on emotion, or just the brief feeling of 'Why?' Even if it's a good suggestion, there is still that split second, or half second, or fraction of a second, where we question it. That is human nature. The length of the reaction is based on the situation at hand.

By the sounds of it, you are just as frustrated as I was. My mother insisted I go to a Jehova's Witness group once a week when I was younger. At first, I couldn't really care less. Then I got bored. Then I got older. I started thinking, listening, analyzing. I started to realize I really hated it, hated going, hated being forced to hold hands with strangers and pray about something that didn't make sense to me. I began to get frustrated and resentful as well. Not because of what was actually going on, but because my control of the situation had been taken away. I started to feel like a caged animal. And as such, felt the distinct pang of defensiveness. It wasn't about the religion completely. It was about the fact I wasn't allowed to leave, or even express my own beliefs or ask certain questions.

So your situation makes sense to me. My mother eventually relented and I was allowed to skip going. First once, then again, until finally I was only seeing this group at special occasions. And then, not at all.

By holding me 'captive', it taught me to resent their system and way of doing things. If I find something unappealing, I should have the freedom to remove myself from that situation. And that's why I hated it.

The frustration you're feeling is normal, and expected. You don't find interest in it, not emotionall, intellectually or spiritaully. So naturally your reaction is going to be to remove yourself.

Is it possible to bring a book or something to these groups? I know when I started to 'tune out', I would bring a book to read. It was my 'flag' for telling people I was not listening. So even while I was there, I was busy reading about Frodo trying to take the ring to Mordor, and having a girl-crush on Stryder. It helped. Of course, I was questioned about it, but at least it made things interesting for me. I'd rather people ask me why I'm reading, rather than what I believe spiritually.

If your parents are very strong believers of God, then I can tell you their desire for you to believe stems from their 'protective' side. As parents. They don't want you to go to Hell, where they believe that you'll suffer an eternity of hardship and torture. If you look at it in the most basic light, it's because they don't want to see you hurt or suffering. Introduce the religion aspect of it, and it starts to get a little muddled.

If you feel they are open enough to possibly talking on the subject, perhaps ask them if there are other similar youth groups that aren't religous based, or perhaps, encompass different religions? If they want you to go to learn something, then why not learn about other religions as well?

But, if they are the type that will "Not have any of that in my house!", then I say: Keep going. But, do things for yourself while you're there. Read. Draw. Do something to 'remove' yourself from the situation. They might be able to control where you go physically at the moment (due to being underage and living with them still), but they can't control your mind and what you do while you're there.