Beware of Casey Lauren Byiers (Rhasputin/EVLV/Eccentric Evolution)

[wilomn]

Folks, I would like to point out that PM is short for Private Message. For anyone who feels the need to start posting Private Messages in the open fourm, for any reason, I urge you to tread very, very lightly. You may think you are doing someone a service, or are furthering the cause of justice, but PMs are Private for a reason.

I disagree.

Here's my stance on PM's.

A private message is something sent from one person to another that the sender would like to have seen by the receiver. However, that is based on the presumption that the receiver is willing to do this WITHOUT being asked to do so.

I feel NO obligation to keep anything to myself that I have not said, prior to receiving it, that I will. ASSuming that I will keep a secret without asking me if I will is done at YOUR risk.

People make ASSumptions and then continue merrily along as if the whole world will cater to their wishes. I'm not much of a caterer.

Want me to keep something between us? Ask me if I will BEFORE you tell me or deal with the consequences you have brought by not asking first.

[Kiyayiya]

Want me to keep something between us? Ask me if I will BEFORE you tell me or deal with the consequences you have brought by not asking first.

This is exactly my stance, and if I don't make sure (even if it seems like a no-brainer) that the other person knows this information is to be kept under strict wraps- I divulge nothing.

On a side note, I see the PM that was posted is no longer on the forum.

[Slim]

I disagree.

Here's my stance on PM's.

A private message is something sent from one person to another that the sender would like to have seen by the receiver. However, that is based on the presumption that the receiver is willing to do this WITHOUT being asked to do so.

I feel NO obligation to keep anything to myself that I have not said, prior to receiving it, that I will. ASSuming that I will keep a secret without asking me if I will is done at YOUR risk.

People make ASSumptions and then continue merrily along as if the whole world will cater to their wishes. I'm not much of a caterer.

Want me to keep something between us? Ask me if I will BEFORE you tell me or deal with the consequences you have brought by not asking first.

This is exactly my stance, and if I don't make sure (even if it seems like a no-brainer) that the other person knows this information is to be kept under strict wraps- I divulge nothing.

On a side note, I see the PM that was posted is no longer on the forum.

While I respect both of your opinions on the issue of PMs, I was addressing the topic as a point of order, not as a point of debate. Should you feel the need to debate your views on Private Messages, I urge you to start a thread in the Off Topic Cafe, where I will happily join in the fun.

I see no need to further derail this thread by discussing the issue here.

[SSALB]

I disagree.

Here's my stance on PM's.

A private message is something sent from one person to another that the sender would like to have seen by the receiver. However, that is based on the presumption that the receiver is willing to do this WITHOUT being asked to do so.

I feel NO obligation to keep anything to myself that I have not said, prior to receiving it, that I will. ASSuming that I will keep a secret without asking me if I will is done at YOUR risk.

People make ASSumptions and then continue merrily along as if the whole world will cater to their wishes. I'm not much of a caterer.

Want me to keep something between us? Ask me if I will BEFORE you tell me or deal with the consequences you have brought by not asking first.

I do not want to step on your toes, or any other users toes, as this is just simply a personal opinion.

I believe Stina indirectly and even directly stated multiple times that she wished to keep the message sent to Lucille between the two of them. Keeping the message sent private has nothing to do with "catering" to another individual, it is called respect for the sender and that persons' wishes. Even if she didn't ask or state that the two of them keep the message between them, i think it would be clear to the receiver, otherwise Stina would have posted it publicly.

I don't believe it was Lucille's place to make that Private Message public, as i am sure Stina would have if it were necessary. I read over the Private Messages multiple times and i didn't see any information in that PM that was valuable or helpful in any way to the situation at hand. I see malicious intent of some sort on Lucille's part, as nothing was going to be resolved or improved upon by posting that PM, if anything it made the situation worse.

If you would like to call it "keeping a secret", so be it, but It wasn't a "secret" that was going to eat away at Lucille or cause her to feel guilty, so i don't quite understand why she deemed it necessary to cause trouble - And she knew it would just by the statements Stina made in that PM.

Just my two cents.

[SSALB]

I apologize Slim, i was typing my response as you submitted yours.

[wilomn]

As far as lucille's motives, she's been known to stir the pot, sometimes in a malicious manner.

I don't really care what she does or why she does it.

I was addressing the issue in general, not in the specific. Also, the fact that you did not find anything new in the PM does not mean someone else did not.

This mouse mess is morphing into some sort of soap opra.

Never really liked opra much myself, nor the soaps that so resemble her life.

Whatever casey is, was or will be, her fate is now in her hands. If Stina is cool with things as they now are, then I'm done here. Can't see any reason to continue unless something else goes wrong and Stina needs assistance again.

[Shadera]

FWIW, that PM was sent to several people, so it wasn't exactly a private conversation. If this forum is going to delete posts to help others hide the truth, then perhaps it's not the place I thought it was. We shouldn't need to coddle people.

If Lucille hadn't posted it, I had planned to. I don't exactly care for someone coming on here only to whip people up over something, and then telling them to shut up once we start poking into areas they should have known we'd poke. If Elena was such a great help from the beginning, why the need to bring it here, to a forum she never even thinks of otherwise and will probably never be back to until she once again has issues her own mouse community won't step up and stand up against on their own.

I respect you Slim, you know that. But I disagree with the decision to delete a post that has some telling info in it.

[mr.spooky]

YAWN

[rabernet]

FWIW, that PM was sent to several people, so it wasn't exactly a private conversation. If this forum is going to delete posts to help others hide the truth, then perhaps it's not the place I thought it was. We shouldn't need to coddle people.

If Lucille hadn't posted it, I had planned to. I don't exactly care for someone coming on here only to whip people up over something, and then telling them to shut up once we start poking into areas they should have known we'd poke. If Elena was such a great help from the beginning, why the need to bring it here, to a forum she never even thinks of otherwise and will probably never be back to until she once again has issues her own mouse community won't step up and stand up against on their own.

I respect you Slim, you know that. But I disagree with the decision to delete a post that has some telling info in it.

Based on the back ground circumstances that have been shared with me as well, I support Slim's decision to remove the PM. In THIS case, I would have as well, had I been online.

If there's any chance that someone's animals or themselves are at risk by an unstable person, then I will err on the side of conservatism in this case.

Should Stina have sent PM's and expect privacy without first asking if those she PM'd would keep her confidences? Should anyone? No. If anything comes from this - hopefully people will be more cautious about ensuring that information shared privately remains private.

Although, I'd still exercise caution, if I don't know the person I'm confiding in, in real life.

Bottom line - the decision, based on these particular circumstances is not up for debate.

[dr del]

Hi,

Just had to say I don't think the PM actually added anything relevant to the original point of the thread.

It may have added possible drama and gossip but nothing of any actual relevance to the topic. If it had we would probably have let it stand.

ETA - Ninja'd by Robin who explained it better than I did anyway.