Help! My ball wants to eat me! D:

[Slim]

Honestly, it mostly just backs up my suspicion that she associates the enclosure specifically with eating.

How?

Doesn't it kind of make no sense for her to get "aggressive" ONLY while IN the enclosure, if the problem is removing her from it?

Yes, that makes no sense. There maybe something about being in the tank that is upsetting her, and it's not getting fed in there.

Mike has a female low-white piebald who's as mad as a hornet if you as much as move her enclosure, much less take her out. THAT is aggression.

Some are just like that, most are not.

People who have met this snake agree that she is not aggressive in general, and I can't see any reason that the enclosure itself would stress her out or make her mad.

Key words, "you can't see". You explained up front that you don't have a lot of experience. It could be something that you don't see.

I know I don't conform to what every single person, hundreds or even thousands of them or not, happen to preach by; because there is no way TO conform to everyone's opinions. I can't make everyone happy, I simply have to do what is best for my animals, and if there are highly unnecessary risks involved with something, it's just really not a very appealing option to me.

Not asking you to conform, but rules of thumb get that way for a reason. As I stated up front, do whatever you see fit, but don't expect me to buy into the cage aggression myth just because you think you have a snake that fits the bill.

Like I said, I'd gladly chance a bite with every misting or water change or poop-inspection, than risk this girl getting hurt or dying because of a stupid chunk of bark mulch.

That's your choice of substrate...there are others that have almost zero chance of ingestion.

We could also argue about live vs. pre-killed vs. frozen/thawed for hours and nothing anyone could tell me could convince me to change what I feed my snakes, for a plethora of reasons I could, and would, happily spend hours explaining and discussing.

Been there, done that, please feel free. That's what Forums are for...

Okay, so "thousands" of people have fed live with no problems. There have also been people with four-foot snakes who got bitten in the head by a tiny hamster and died minutes later.
There's no benefit, why even risk it? I think we can agree that a lack of appetite is NOT this girl's problem, in any way, shape or form. She'd eat my husky if she could.

Again, I ask, are you sure you've had this snake long enough to know what's got her upset? I highly doubt it's a case of cage aggression.

I've heard some real horror stories about the digital/probe ones that adjust the temperatures automatically.

Do tell? Digital/Probe thermometers and hygrometers are pretty much the standard of the hobby.