Ladies of Bp.Net, I need some help.

[Bruce Whitehead]

Sorry for being so late to the party...

Laura, everything I have seen of you on this site, is you behaving with kindness and compassion. Being with a man that cannot respond with in like is not worth your time.

Asking you... or telling you, to give up something you are passionate about, unacceptable on every level.

Your love of animals, even if he does not "get it" is something that if he was passionate about you, about what makes you who you are, is something he would want to know about, want to embrace, or at least understand.

Many of us have spouses and partners that are not as passionate about our hobbies as we are, but they would not ask us to give them up.

My spouse is an artist, and I love the arts, but do not share the same deep committment, but I would never ask that he modify what inspires him and makes him see the world is a way that allows him to create.

I like snakes, and that is my passion, and it is understood, that although different, our unique ventures makes us stronger individually and so we can prosper as a diad.

We meet halfway, and it is a great place to be.

I know you have heard it and I think you know it, but this person is not celebrating you. and he should. The perfect person for you is just waiting patiently for you to get off the loser train.

Sometimes you do have to teach a new partner how to relate, that is part of building a relationship, but it is reciprocal. Buddy has an open slot marked GIRLFRIEND and wants to plop you into it perfectly.

Ever hear the expression "round hole - square peg"... you are not the fit for him, and it sucks to be him.

Just a matter of time till he tells you "whatcha talking to those internet snake losers for? You don't have any snakes!"

I hope you can make this decision and do what you need to do with minimal drama. Nothing worse than dreading a decision because you dread the consequences.

My heart goes out to you. Pull on the supports around you and do what you need to do.

Bruce

PS:

I've thought about this, because he does have a temper and hates being disrespected. He's joked around about... stuff if I am 'jokingly' being sarcastic with him he'll say something like "Woman don't make me slap you, did you just say that to me?"

A friend of mine... a PhD in Social Psych used to hear that from her partner. One day as she was bending down to pick up her dropped keys, he said that to her "jokingly", she was not in a good mood and she told him to "give it a rest"... he elbowed her in the back of the head so hard that he knocked out 3 of her teeth on the doorknob.

[Foschi Exotic Serpents]

Absolutely Monica! Shoot we don't need to wait for NARBC to get together!

Definately. If you ever neew to talk or just text you can always PM one of us with your number. We keep in touch but hes right, we should just make a coffee date or something.

[shescountry89]

I'd say you should not tolerate being condescended to for one minute more. If the only way he can earn your respect is to make you feel crappy about yourself, he obviously doesn't have much to really offer you. He's trying to make you value your relationship with him more than you value yourself. Yes, it feels nice to be liked by another person, but it's all for nothing if all they want to do is control you. If he is making fun of you, telling you what you can and cannot do, and attacking your self-esteem by telling you your hobby is just an emotional crutch, he isn't even worth a second glance. You needn't place so much value on another person's attention, especially somebody who treats you with such disrespect. Put him in his place. You can tell you aren't happy, and that alone is reason enough to dump him.

I can't believe I couldn't see through all the nice things, and the good way he was treating me for awhile. Only to slowly try and get me away from the one thing that really does make me happy. He saw how happy I was when I managed to take him to one reptile show, I introduced him to friends there. I tried teaching him a few things, all he would say is "Wow, you are really into this stuff arn't you?" And would chuckle and ask if we could leave yet. Good I had some awesome people on here really tell me what he's getting at.. and help me out before it got worse in the long run. Thank you so much, your post was awesome and very meaningful.

Blightedchemist (Ken), Kaorte (Steffe), Me, Joe pythons, we all live right down the rd from you! There are a bunch more members in the northern IL area that I dont know to. We will definately meet up at NARBC and our group will be bigger this yr.

Well why haven't we hung out yet? I could use some friends have simular interests as I do. My one friend only comes to show with me because of the "hott" guys. Not for the actual hobby. We definatly need to figure something out and hang at the show. I'll be there all weekend.

You'll make the right decision. It may not be easy (relationships rarely are) but it's very obvious that you have many friends around here that are here for you. GOOD LUCK!!!

Thanks you

[shescountry89]

Sorry for being so late to the party...

Laura, everything I have seen of you on this site, is you behaving with kindness and compassion. Being with a man that cannot respond with in like is not worth your time.

Asking you... or telling you, to give up something you are passionate about, unacceptable on every level.

Your love of animals, even if he does not "get it" is something that if he was passionate about you, about what makes you who you are, is something he would want to know about, want to embrace, or at least understand.

Many of us have spouses and partners that are not as passionate about our hobbies as we are, but they would not ask us to give them up.

My spouse is an artist, and I love the arts, but do not share the same deep committment, but I would never ask that he modify what inspires him and makes him see the world is a way that allows him to create.

I like snakes, and that is my passion, and it is understood, that although different, our unique ventures makes us stronger individually and so we can prosper as a diad.

We meet halfway, and it is a great place to be.

I know you have heard it and I think you know it, but this person is not celebrating you. and he should. The perfect person for you is just waiting patiently for you to get off the loser train.

Sometimes you do have to teach a new partner how to relate, that is part of building a relationship, but it is reciprocal. Buddy has an open slot marked GIRLFRIEND and wants to plop you into it perfectly.

Ever hear the expression "round hole - square peg"... you are not the fit for him, and it sucks to be him.

Just a matter of time till he tells you "whatcha talking to those internet snake losers for? You don't have any snakes!"

I hope you can make this decision and do what you need to do with minimal drama. Nothing worse than dreading a decision because you dread the consequences.

My heart goes out to you. Pull on the supports around you and do what you need to do.

Bruce

PS:



A friend of mine... a PhD in Social Psych used to hear that from her partner. One day as she was bending down to pick up her dropped keys, he said that to her "jokingly", she was not in a good mood and she told him to "give it a rest"... he elbowed her in the back of the head so hard that he knocked out 3 of her teeth on the doorknob.

Your right, it's not only the decision I fear but it's also the consequences of knowing I am going to be alone agian. Watching all my friends in their happy relasionships that they've been in for month/years. I am being hopeful that he contains his temper, for I know he is pretty pissed off right now. I am not afriad of being hit, It's happened before.

He doesn't like most animals, and I myself cannot see myself ever being with an animal in my household. I told him in the beginning that my animals were very important to me, I guess since we had gotten somewhat serious he decided to try and tell me "like it is" and how things are going to be done. Things were fine for awhile, and they took a turn. I am young, I am only 21 years old and still mature for my age.

I hope someday I can find someone, and have the luck a lot of you guys do finding someone who shares the same passion or at least excepts it. It's not going to be an easy road, thats all I know.

[Danounet]

I hope someday I can find someone, and have the luck a lot of you guys do finding someone who shares the same passion or at least excepts it. It's not going to be an easy road, thats all I know.

I say we start a section in the forums called "The single's hang out" or something like that, because I know I got no luck at all. LOL

[JLC]

I say we start a section in the forums called "The single's hang out" or something like that, because I know I got no luck at all. LOL

Any platinum member can start up a customized forum...that sounds like a fun topic to do! Anyone who is interested can PM me to set up details.

Laura...you've gotten tons of wise words and good advice here, so I won't add to it. It sounds to me like you'll make the right decision. I wish you all the best!

[Danounet]

Any platinum member can start up a customized forum...that sounds like a fun topic to do! Anyone who is interested can PM me to set up details.

Laura...you've gotten tons of wise words and good advice here, so I won't add to it. It sounds to me like you'll make the right decision. I wish you all the best!

If no one beats me to it, I guess I'll have to set that one up when I can afford it

[BallsUnlimited]

Get out of that relationship,move to Ny, date "this guy" who has an awesome selection of bps hahahahah but seriously be safe,and make the right choice.

[shescountry89]

Get out of that relationship,move to Ny, date "this guy" who has an awesome selection of bps hahahahah but seriously be safe,and make the right choice.

Haha Thanks you. Yeah, most of the guys who like reptiles I meet here are either taken ... or married o.O Just my luck usually. Til i think I meet the right one, but he doesn't support me.

Hope all this works out, I am not looking forwards to how this is going to end tonight.

[angllady2]

I'm a bit late as well.

Everyone here has told you the truth and given good advise, so I won't add to it.

I will say this, after more bad experiences with guys who were jerks and users than I can count, I did find the one for me. I've been with Kyle for 20 years now, and I love him more than anything.

Sure we have our ups and downs, all couples do. But after so many years, his heart beats in my chest and mine is his. We live for each other and with each other, and no one can change that.

Please don't loose hope, the right guy is out there, and when the time is right, he'll find you. In the mean time, tell this looser not to let the door hit him in the butt on they way out it.

Gale