Ladies and Gentlemen who are married...

Did you, Ladies, take your husbands last name?

If you did, why, and if you didn't, why not?

Gentlemen... how important is/was it to you that your significant other takes your last name?

Im not married but i would think if i where getting married i would like my wife to take my last name.:taz:

Im not married, but to me, it shows "more" commitment.

I mean she is willing to change her god damn name to be with you, that is pretty commited! LOL

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Originally Posted by hondo1967

Im not married but i would think if i where getting married i would like my wife to take my last name.:taz:

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As would I.

-Chris-

when i get married, i deff would take my mans last name, personally, and yeah, i think it is another way to show more commitment =]

Guess I'll be first!

Nope, kept my own last name. I like it, and hate his! LOL. I know, doesn't that sound horrible? But his family is the ultimate horror in-laws, (haven't seen or spoken to them in years, thank god!...then again, so are mine and we haven't seen them either!), and he couldn't care less. There are far more important things in our life to worry about than what names we have.

Not saying that its not important to some!! Just not to us. :)

What works for us might not work for others!

Married -- kept my name :D

HEY, I WAS gonna be first. :P
Kidding..

I'm not married, but I already know the answer. No.
I'm not changing my name (most likely) UNLESS his name is extremely attractive in my eye.. which most names really arn't to me.

Why? It probably has something to do with my Father and Ex-Step Father trying to get my mom to change her name (which she never did) and they really wanted it just for power and control.
I think its stupid. It's on my damn birth certificate, its a TON of money, you have to change EVERYTHING (license, passport, ext) and its just a ridiculous amount of work that isn't worth it.

If the guy is incredibly upset that it's not enough commitment, then he clearly doesn't understand the meaning of marriage. :]
Plus I don't like that tradition.. never did make sense to me.. why can't the guy take the girls name eh?

NOT that I discourage it with anyone else, just my personal opinion regarding myself. ^_^

would you be upset if your husband did not want to wear his wedding band? seems almost like the same thing

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Originally Posted by 420boa

would you be upset if your husband did not want to wear his wedding band? seems almost like the same thing

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No, a name is not nearly as much of a symbol as marriage as a ring.

A wedding band procedure is slim.
In they busy schedule of life, the procedure of renaming yourself almost seems pointless and extremely difficult and time consuming.

Like Epona said, there are probably many less expensive and better things to do with your time. I personally, don't want to go through all that over a label that didn't make any sense in the first place.

I wont be married for another two years, but I'm taking his last name. I just dont like how long my name will be after that. lol. The reason I'm going to is because I feel like it makes the bond between us stronger. I just kinda feel like we wont be "100% together", like "mine" or "his" Makes more since in my head, I swear. lol.

I actually fell in love with his grandparents long before I ever met hub, so when he came along and I saw hub's attractive packaging and realized he came from this excellent breeding stock (ahem), it was a no-brainer to take their last name.

Never regretted it. We said goodbye to Grandpa Fred in the winter, and it was rough, but, without his grandparents being so awesome, I doubt I'd ever met him.

I never worry about losing my identity, until the kids need something every five minutes and I become an appliance. LOL

yep i changed my last name, but is it really a big problem to go from something like Konieczko to Salavea? no. :D but i do agree with the tradition, he is technically the head of the household, head of the family (even though we're even haha) but i took his name because its on HIM to make the check and its on HIM to protect us. now im not saying that if something bad were to happen (god forbid) that i would sit in the corner and whimper or faint or something, id grab a butcher knife and protect my kiddos haha but im kinda 'old fashioned' that way i guess. i dunno. to each their own though. whatever makes you happy. :D

My wife took my last name.

Quick question for those who do not change last names. What last name do the kids get?

Tradition does significantly play into it, but other factors are at play as well. When you have children only one "Y" chromosome exists and if a child has it they are a male and the father is the only one that can supply this "Y". Three "X's" exist and can you tell which ones the children have? Thus the "Y" is the only proven way of tracing part of the genes.

As far as tradition goes the idea of being given the name of the husband also means he is entrusting you with the one thing this world can not take away. In early times people had what were known as good last names and bad last names. A person with a good one was generally known as someone you could take at their word, bad last names were generally people you could not trust. Granted this was small town pre 1900's. Back then if you married poorly the woman could destroy your good name. Thus his name and fortune was being entrusted with a woman who took is last name. So if you think about it, it is more of a commitment factor for the man to give his last name than it is for the woman to take his last name.

On a side note when I was in the military I knew a guy who actually took the last name of his wife when they got married. He was completely whipped and couldn't breath without getting her permission first so I guess it was only fitting!

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Did you, Ladies, take your husbands last name?

If you did, why, and if you didn't, why not?

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Originally Posted by 420boa

would you be upset if your husband did not want to wear his wedding band? seems almost like the same thing

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I took Rick's last name a) I kinda needed a change, b) the immigration lawyer said it would look weird for getting Rick a green card if I didn't and c) I finally worked out a signature I liked. Rick's last name is also quite English so that's kinda cool too. =)

The ring: if it bugged him to wear, I guess I wouldn't mind, but I think Rick's kinda likes wearing it. =)

My wife took my last name and changed her middle name to her maiden name. Make sense?

ive been engaged a LONG time and this is something that has come up alot.. while i do plan to take his name i am hesitant... mine is very easy color name and his is terribly long and difficult to pronounce 11 charectors vs 5? uhm yea..

if it wasnt for the respect aspect i would retain my name. when we speak to people who dont know we arent married and they ask i simply say "I chose to retain my last name" simple as that and no one asks anymore questions. I think it is totally different then wearing a wedding band, thats like comparing apples to oranges.

Despite us not being married, our first sons last name is hyphonated B_____-H__________. Our second son has just dads last name. When we get married we plan to legally change first sons last name to just dads also... when we did paperwork i was being a brat and wanted my name on the paperwork, turned out to be much more hassle then we thought it would be to change it.

My wife took my last name but back in the time period that we were married people were intending to make a lifetime commitment. This view seems to be obsolete today and most people today marry with the same attitude as when getting a new job "If this job doesn't work out I'll just get another job". Consequently most marriages don't last today and maybe it makes more sense for the woman to just keep her original surname since she will likely not stay married for too long to the same man. Her children will likely have 2 or 3 different last names. A woman could just add hyphens like notches on a gunslingers gun to keep up. :D

I kept my last name. When it was pointed out that I was now part of HIS family, I would point out that HE was part of MY family, and MY family way outnumbered HIS family, so HE should change his last name to my last name.
At any rate, it was never an issue between us. He asked, and I mulled it over, and said it would be a hassle so I wouldn't. My husband and I knew we were committed to each other, so the petty thing of who has which last name, or what person wears a band when, that's just outer junk. If it messes with your relationship that one won't change their name, then you should reexamine the relationship, IMHO.
My husband couldn't wear his wedding band after the first year, due to swelling in his hands. I never once made some comment about him not wearing it, or getting it resized.. it did not bother me. I have my engagment ring, which I almost NEVER wore, due to me being woried the stone would get knocked out(I'm not dainty in my daily life), and he never once mentioned that as a issue.
Why would a ring, or name, or the color underwear you wear have ANY impact on your relationship? People who insist on one thing or squabble, I believe sincerely there is some other issue they should deal with.
Again, OMHO.

I'm married and we thought my wife took my last name, But some how she never filled out something for her ssi card to change so when we do her taxes it's Susan Lynnette Schuerger-Roberts..:D but she goes by Roberts on everthing our kids have my last name, we just never went downtown to straighten it out. We figured after 11 years whats the point.

I am married and have been for 13 years.

When Jeff proposed to me I never even thought "should I take his last name"...not even once. I was going to be Mrs. Meir period.

I am kinda old school though. :rolleyes:

Some of you say that you don't want the others last name because it is hard to pronounce. Mine is Meir. pronounced "Meer". You don't know how many people pronounce it "Myer"! It really drives me nuts but I correct them and go on my way. :D

Kelly and I have considered ourselves married. But when it does become legal (which it will) we decided to keep our names. We feel it is like holding on to who you are.:)

When I married I kept my last name for a long time. People assumed when they saw my name and signature that it was hyphenated, which I did eventually, but did it backwards...
when I signed my name is was C------ A. T-----, they assumed that the A was my hubbies last name since it starts with A.
I eventually hyphenated it to C--- A------ - T----- , mostly because I loved my maiden name, and my initials have always been CAT. So then I lost my wallet, so I changed it to CAA, my middle name is Ann, and the last name begins with A.. so now it's CAA.
It is easy to change your name on id cards and ssi, just passports its a PITA...
I have been married for 8 years now and only last year finally changed it from hyphenated to just his last name.
Change is hard sometimes.

Some one should do some research into Spanish/Hispanic culture...
The daughter takes the mothers last name, the son takes the fathers last name, and I believe each takes the other parents name as part of their middle name.
It is complicated, and I could be wrong about some points.

Carol

P.S.
We don't wear wedding rings, due to the fact I am on a computer all day long and it interferes with my typing AND I am playing outside and with my horses ALL the time. We know we are married.

We got married last august. I definately want to take his name but have not gotten around to doing it yet :) It's everyone's individual decision.. I see no reason to put down anyone who does or does not change their name.

I changed my last name.
We have a few friends who did not, and see them go through some inconveniences as a result. For instance, when booking travel they sometimes are not given seats next to each other while we always are. Also, there is some social confusion that is easily avoided by having the same last name.

So, I think it is more convenient to change it.

yes I took his last name. My maiden name was way to long and difficult to pronounce. now my married name is shorter and people still mess it up :rolleye2: I was starting a new chapter in my life so a new last name signified change. As for wedding rings, we both wear ours. At first, because of his occupation he didn't, then one day he decided to wear it to work. The ring saved his fingers from getting chopped off that day and he's worn it to work ever since. I believe that there is some signifigance in taking on a last name and wearing a wedding ring, but it shouldn't be a major factor if you are secure in your relationship with each other. Thats just my two cents :D

My wife took my name, we never really discussed it. I have to say the first time I called her work and heard her voicemail with my last name it was a real honor and made me very proud/happy.

I know several professional women that have built up a reputation and clientel and decided to keep their maiden name so as not to loose or confuse business contacts. Which makes sense to me.

The reality is if the the relationship is strong a name isnt gonna make a difference.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

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Originally Posted by West Coast Jungle

The reality is if the the relationship is strong a name isnt gonna make a difference.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

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Rock on. =)

Friend of mine at work got remarried. He and his wife chose a completely new last name and both changed to it. Whatever works for you, ya know? =)

I took my husband's last name, and totally dropped my maiden name. I really had no attachment to it, since I haven't seen the man who I inherited it from in over 20 years. :)

My situation is a little different. I have been married once before, and so has my girlfriend. When she was married the first time, I think she intended to take his last name, but because she knew in her heart it wouldn't last, she never got around to getting it legally changed.

Now, for a little background, my gf and I have known each other for approximately 18 years, and have been together for 2. I've always known her as a McCormick. Her family is very well known and respected in the community, and I think that her name helps her identify with that part of her. We have discussed marriage, and I told her from the beginning that it would be her choice whether she took my name or not. While I like the idea of her taking my last name, and the bond and commitment that would represent, I also understand that McCormick is part of her identity and I would never dream of asking her to give that up. I don't need her to take my name to prove that she loves me and is committed to me for life...

My wife took my last name and she refuses to give it back. I think she keeps it just to spite me.

*sigh*

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Originally Posted by FIREball

My wife took my last name and changed her middle name to her maiden name. Make sense?

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that's what my mom did. i think i'd probably do the same.

Married...took his name ;)

Honestly his last name was way cooler than my maiden name, which no one could pronounce anyway.

Plus, we knew we were having kids and I wasn't interested in hyphenating last names, etc. All 4 of us are Storms and proud of it. :D

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Originally Posted by Earl

My wife took my last name and she refuses to give it back. I think she keeps it just to spite me.

*sigh*

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:8: HAHAHA!!!



I did both... I had no middle name, so when we got married I made my maiden name my middle name! I have a rockin-Irish middle name now, witch makes up for my last name being Rice. :rolleyes: Yea, like the food. My hub swears if we ever have a kiddo he's going to name it Dirty, or White, or Sticky, or Wild... you get the idea....

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Originally Posted by West Coast Jungle

My wife took my name, we never really discussed it. I have to say the first time I called her work and heard her voicemail with my last name it was a real honor and made me very proud/happy.

I know several professional women that have built up a reputation and clientel and decided to keep their maiden name so as not to loose or confuse business contacts. Which makes sense to me.

The reality is if the the relationship is strong a name isnt gonna make a difference.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

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Hmmmm! Very interesting . . . If I'd have only known before I changed it.

Just kidding! I love having your last name.

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Originally Posted by Laooda

:8: HAHAHA!!!



I did both... I had no middle name, so when we got married I made my maiden name my middle name! I have a rockin-Irish middle name now, witch makes up for my last name being Rice. :rolleyes: Yea, like the food. My hub swears if we ever have a kiddo he's going to name it Dirty, or White, or Sticky, or Wild... you get the idea....

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The electrician that works for my husband is named Wild Rice . . . No kidding.

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Gentlemen... how important is/was it to you that your significant other takes your last name?

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My wife took my last name. To me, I think it of the utmost importance to take the husbands name....I wanted our children to have the same last name as their mother, and to me it showed that we were becoming a family....and it makes all the paper work at the kids schools much easier....

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Originally Posted by 420boa

would you be upset if your husband did not want to wear his wedding band? seems almost like the same thing

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I have no issue if my husband doesn't want to wear his ring. I know quite a few couples that, for job or other reasons, don't wear their rings all the time. It doesn't change the fact that they love each other and are committed.

That said, I took his name because I wasn't going to keep mine anyhow (step-father's name and we didn't get along well at all). It was either that, or change back to my birth name and it was just as easy to take his.

I have a friend that, when he got married, she took his last name and he took hers. Now THAT was original! :-)

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Originally Posted by marmie

Hmmmm! Very interesting . . . If I'd have only known before I changed it.

Just kidding! I love having your last name.

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Ruh-roh! Looks like Raul's in trouble! Teehee! :D

.....for those women who did not (or will not) take the name of their husband....

....what name did you give you children? Why?

Just wondering.

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Did you, Ladies, take your husbands last name?

If you did, why, and if you didn't, why not?

Gentlemen... how important is/was it to you that your significant other takes your last name?

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The woman has to take my last name, or i would tell her to BEAT IT!
oh wait she did

She took My last name...

her last name was Bratz and everyone kept compairing her to the dolls so its a good thing she has mine now.

its tradition and custom so thats why we did it. one of our family friends just got married for the second time and she kept her org name as her middle name and took his last name as hers

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Did you, Ladies, take your husbands last name?

If you did, why, and if you didn't, why not?

Gentlemen... how important is/was it to you that your significant other takes your last name?

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I did......makes it easier for everybody............ my name cannot be pronounced by anyone in this country :rolleyes:

On the serious side while I thought I would never get married (took an amazing guy to convince me and to put up with me :rolleyes:) I did and when I did, it is something that just made sense, and I am VERY proud to have my hubby's name.

Well, I'm not married and have no intention of marrying anytime soon, but here goes...

I have absolutely no intention of changing my name. If he isn't secure enough with himself, me, and my feelings for him to think that I love him regardless of what my name is, or whether or not I wear a ring, or me if he doesn't wear a ring or change his name, then clearly we aren't meant to get married, are we?

To be quite honest my loyalty lies with my family. I love all of my family dearly and kind of feel that it's disrespectful to just throw away my name so lightly. Not that I wouldn't be loyal to someone I married, but it's entirely possible (divorce rates being what they are) that the marriage wouldn't last.

Besides, isn't it entirely possible to enjoy a fulfilling, complete and happy marriage without sharing surnames?

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Originally Posted by marmie

The electrician that works for my husband is named Wild Rice . . . No kidding.

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No, no... I believe you! He's probably related to my hub one way or another! :rolleyes: Just PROMISE that if we ever all meet at a show or something, you don't tell him... cause I assured him that NO ONE would ever name their child Wild Rice... :oops:

If we ever had kids, (which we will not.), but IF it was possible, they would have his last name.

As for rings, he doesn't wear one, as he has swollen knuckles due to a medical issue, and I don't wear one, cause I hate jewelry! (Ain't I a keeper?)

These things don't matter a whit to us, but we're pretty laid back and keep to ourselves. :P

I can totally see how these things are important to others, and I'm all for it! What's best for one couple is not what's best for another. We all just have to find the perfect balance.

:)

If I were to marry someone, I would take their last name if they would give it. It's not like they suddenly own me, it's more like a sharing.. we all find little ways to give ourselves to one another and the name is just one.. and if it bothered me to take a name or bothered them to give their name then perhaps we shouldn't be marrying anyway. :) I don't think that will happen anytime soon though, I just turned 28 and stopped talking to the guy I am in love with on the same day. I best stop before I get into a rant.. but if anyone wants to hear it let me know coz I could use someone to talk to 'bout it. :)

I know a couple that instead of getting wedding rings, they got identical tattoos on that ring finger.

For me, I guess it would depend on what his last name was. Also, if I had an established business...etc, changing my last name might be more of a hassle than to keep it.

My kids would probably carry his last name though.

As for wearing a ring, I probably would, but it's hard to say.

I'm an electrical engineer...wearing metal on my hands can be a nice way to electrocuting myself.

When we got married I took my husbands last name.
I chose to do it because I like having that connection with my spouse. We also decided it would be a good idea for when we have children so they could have the same last name as both of their parents.

I do have a wedding ring, that i wear daily. My husband does not have one as he can't wear one do to his job.

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Originally Posted by Seneschal

To be quite honest my loyalty lies with my family. I love all of my family dearly and kind of feel that it's disrespectful to just throw away my name so lightly. Not that I wouldn't be loyal to someone I married, but it's entirely possible (divorce rates being what they are) that the marriage wouldn't last.

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You sound like you are doomed from the start!...but thats another topic for another thread.

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Originally Posted by Schlyne

I know a couple that instead of getting wedding rings, they got identical tattoos on that ring finger.

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My wife's fingers grew after our second child and she hasn't worn her ring since then so therefore....I also stopped wearing it..lol

I want to get a tattoo ring...I think that's a great idea!