How To Get Someone That Does Not Like Snakes To Like Them?

Ok so say that you are dating some one that is not particularly fond of snakes. . . But you have one. You are not living with this person yet but you 'plan' on living with this person once you are done school. This person has already basically told you that there is no way they are going to live with the snake in the house and has told you that you can build a little house outside of the house that they are in to keep the snake. (Which is totally crazy and a waste of money) Hell they even told you that you could own just 1 animal just 1 and it cannot be a snake, and you are an absolute animal lover who one day would like a couple dogs, 2 ferrets, some snakes, and many more animals. What do you do? Lol I know stupid post but I want to get peoples ideas.

well its sounds like either way ur going to be unhappy you is the person afraid of snakes or just doesnt like animals.

Time to find some new dating material......

Haha well see Boafa it may seem that simple but when you have been dating the person for a long time it is a little harder then "Finding new dating material." He does like animals he just doesn't want to have a million of them he says. But I want to convince him! I must convince him!

man, i had a similar situation once. this girl was college to be a lawyer, she already worked for one of louisville's top dogs and once she graduated she was going to be making the big bucks.

But this was beside the point. Her father was sick w/ a condition, so i heard everyday about salmonella and her dad dying for indirect contact w/ my snakes (he didn't die, she was just pessimistic).

Then she was scared of the snakes as well, but one day she started to warm up to them. So then she says, "how many of these snakes eat prekilled animals?" i say, "all but two." she says, well those two will not be living in my house. now mind you, we were far from married and she didn't even own a house.

So my reply was this, "The snakes were here before you, and they'll be here after you." needless to say, the relationship didn't last.

But here is the deal, if snakes are your passion, she should RESPECT your passion. if she doesn't, then she probably doesn't respect you.

Hehe redpython it is a he and I am the she :) anyways I do not how shall I put this "Have the balls" to say this to him. Although I have told him how much they both mean to me. I am hoping that things will turn around :snake:

One of my close friends did quite a bit of collection downsizing to help "save" her marriage several years ago. It didn't work...and she regrets getting rid of every one of those animals.

It sounds like there may be potential for a lot of conflict in the future...but that's just my pessimistic opinion.

For the record, I would never get rid of my reptiles and/or inverts for somebody else. Willing to cut back on sheer numbers? Yes. (Acutally, most of the inverts would leave before the reptiles would..and the reptiles are far more work intensive.) Get rid of them all or only have a select few? No. This is a part of who I am.

Did you get the snake before you started dating him or after? Because if you had it before you were even in a relationship with him then he already made the decision to be with someone who owned a snake and, in my opinion, doesn't really have the right to tell you to get rid of it all of the sudden. The snake came first! :)

But, on another note, I do agree with some previous posters on here that this sounds like it's laying the foundation for some serious conflicts later on. Hope it all works out for ya.

Some people may either instinctively or by social conditioning have a dislike for snakes or a lack of compassion for animals in general. However, if he expects you to compromise with him to accept things about him that you aren't thrilled about, then he to will have to be willing to compromise with you (even if you may have to fabricate some dislike of something about his lifestyle in order to have some bargaining chips).

My gf and I are going through the same thing right now. When I got my first snake she would not even go in my room. She has gotten better; it takes a long time and baby steps for them to trust the snakes. She is still scared to sleep in a room with a snake, and she is still unsure about living in a house with them. But when you have two loves you have to get them work together.

Okay, I'm going to represent the other side of things for a second...

My now-wife had a bunch of cats when I met her. I don't hate cats, but I don't want my house smelling like cat poo, and I certainly do not want any other things that might ride in on the cat.

Long story short, I let her bring the cats. They reproduced, made more cats, and it smelled like poo all the time. Things got scratched, marked, etc. as well. We moved into a place that doesn't allow cats anyhow, so she ended up getting rid of them. Later on the landlord caved and after a year of begging she got another #$%$%#$ cat. Six months in the cat ran away, but not before smelling up the place and bringing in fleas, which I'm still fighting with even as I type.

So if you can address the major concerns he has (mine would've been 'I promise to change the litter every day' and 'the beast will never leave the house, so no fleas'). He might be more willing to work with you if you let him know up front what's involved. :)

Also, my wife hated snakes when I talked her into getting Milton. Now she is crazy about him!

Baby snakes will do the trick ;)

show him a little babie hoggie and be like who couldnt love a face like this lol

For 7 years my husband said he hated snakes and would never have one in the house. Last Christmas he lost a bet and WE went down and picked out the BP. after watching me handling George he started and everything was fine. Since then I have acquired 2 RTB babies and he has handled and fed all. Has your BF ever watched you with your snakes? Funny thing is he can't stand touching the f/t mice!!

The problem is NOT the snake. This person also says you may only have ONE animal. That is a control issue. Being an animal lover is like someone who wants a ton of kids, when you are ready to settle down find someone who likes, or at least will loving tolerate, what you love.

I used to be into Doberman rescue, and as a rule I would NOT place Dobermans with single guys unless they were very settled (I realize you are not a guy) because I was not going to have the guy hook up with some female that didn't want a dog in the house and then abandon his dog. That is just wrong. One should never abandon their kids or pets in favor of a new lover.

Well, pets are a BIG thing. I'm lucky my S.O. likes my snakes. He's not totally comfortable handling them by himself, but he enjoys the happiness they bring me.

However he is not so lucky I hate cats. He had a cat before I met him, I moved in and let me tell you it's going to be a long 10 years before that cat moves on to a better place. I found out I'm allergic to cats after I moved in. We've been living together for 2 years, (and many cat arguments later) I've come to the point where I tolerate the cat. I still don't like it and personally feel cats are satan's gift to domestic pets.

If the cat disappeared I wouldn't miss it, and it probably would be days before I realized it was gone. Meanwhile, not only is he enamored with the cat...he really is a cat person, and thinks everything cat is adorable and funny. I tolerate the cat because he loves the darn thing so much.

I don't get the cat thing, then again not everyone gets my snake thing.

I keep saying once this cat goes, no more mammals. (okay maybe a dog, I like dogs, but only big dogs. No yorkies in THIS house, lol)

Anyway, my point is if your S.O. comes into the relationship and
has a VERY strong opinion of your pet they might "soften" their view to base tolerance but may likely NEVER like your snakes even though they don't shed on the couch and cough up strategically placed hairballs.

It's up to both of you to figure our where your priorities are, and working out the snake/pet issue. Pets are a long term commitment, relationships are a long term commitment, you have to be able to mesh the two.

My :twocents:

Why doesn't he like the snakes? Has he ever held one? I don't understand this irrational fear of animals. It's a snake for gods sake. Not some demonic face eating monster from the legion of doom.

If you want the snake and love it, keep it. There are ABSOLUTELY no guarantees you two will still be together in 4 years, or that he will still feel the same way! That's life!

I went through this with my GF (now wife) Shes the one that got me turned on to reptiles. She loves Leopard geckos. So I got a Leo and after keeping my Leo for a year or so I stated to hunt for a new reptile and I wanted a snake.

I got one and she "sort of" like my very first one. Now that I have 20+ snakes I was told they were not to be in the house. so we came to a compromise. we renovated a room and turned it into my herp room. Its great I can do anything to that room I want with no questions. I am putting down tile and installed AC for our hot summers.

The main thing is that you are not going to "make" someone that doesn't like snakes like them. Your only hope is that they care enough for you to be understanding to allow you to have your hobby.

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Originally Posted by Siarah

Ok so say that you are dating some one that is not particularly fond of snakes. . . But you have one. You are not living with this person yet but you 'plan' on living with this person once you are done school. This person has already basically told you that there is no way they are going to live with the snake in the house and has told you that you can build a little house outside of the house that they are in to keep the snake. (Which is totally crazy and a waste of money) Hell they even told you that you could own just 1 animal just 1 and it cannot be a snake, and you are an absolute animal lover who one day would like a couple dogs, 2 ferrets, some snakes, and many more animals. What do you do? Lol I know stupid post but I want to get peoples ideas.

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Sounds to me like the person that you are dating is trying to use your animals in a way to control you. Sorry, thats just what it sounds like to me. If they really love you, then they should compromise, not tell you that you can't have them, or that you have to build a reptile house to keep them in.

There are a lot of people that are not going to like snakes. People like that are not ever going to like them, there is nothing you can do about it. On the other hand, if they are just afraid of them, then you can help by having them handle snakes. Make sure the snake that they are handling is used to being handled, and is very docile.

Either way, hope everything works out for you.

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Originally Posted by littleindiangirl

demonic face eating monster from the legion of doom.

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Where do I get one of those? LOL

...if he is worried about gettin killed by a BP :rofl: sorry...tell him more people die from bee stings and dog attacks a year than from snake bites... :gj:


Speaking of...quick story....couple years ago...I have a 6.5' JCP...and my girlfriend (now wife) has seen me get tagged by this 6.5' python....and she saw the kind of damage it inflicted...just a little blood, nothing a couple band-aids couldnt cover up....
....anywho, we have 2 pugs...I had one, and before we were dating she saw mine and fell in love with him, and got one of her own...then we move in and now we are stuck with 2 of these 'things' ;) ....well her pug does NOT like to get her nails clipped...her nails are black so it's next to impossible to see her quik(sp?)...so she has been cut a bit short, and now she is not a fan of the vet...this being said, it takes 3 people to cut this little (yes she is the runt) pug's toenails....two people to hold her down, and one to clip. She does not bite....but her little nails are like tiny little razor blades. .....okay this is gettin longer than I wanted....well I wish I had picture, but lets just say the LAST, and FINAL time I helped hold her down...I walked out of the vet with scratches up and down both of my forearms....and bleeding in spots...I looked like I got attacked with a pocket knife.:weirdface

....so in the end...my wife's 14lbs pug has given me more reason to be affraid of her, than gettin bit by a 6+ foot long python....:D


....have your boyfriend read this post....WATCH OUT FOR PUGS!:salute:

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Originally Posted by littleindiangirl

Why doesn't he like the snakes? Has he ever held one? I don't understand this irrational fear of animals. It's a snake for gods sake. Not some demonic face eating monster from the legion of doom.

If you want the snake and love it, keep it. There are ABSOLUTELY no guarantees you two will still be together in 4 years, or that he will still feel the same way! That's life!

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hahaha i know but you have to convince them of that =]

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

...if he is worried about gettin killed by a BP :rofl: sorry...tell him more people die from bee stings and dog attacks a year than from snake bites... :gj:


Speaking of...quick story....couple years ago...I have a 6.5' JCP...and my girlfriend (now wife) has seen me get tagged by this 6.5' python....and she saw the kind of damage it inflicted...just a little blood, nothing a couple band-aids couldnt cover up....
....anywho, we have 2 pugs...I had one, and before we were dating she saw mine and fell in love with him, and got one of her own...then we move in and now we are stuck with 2 of these 'things' ;) ....well her pug does NOT like to get her nails clipped...her nails are black so it's next to impossible to see her quik(sp?)...so she has been cut a bit short, and now she is not a fan of the vet...this being said, it takes 3 people to cut this little (yes she is the runt) pug's toenails....two people to hold her down, and one to clip. She does not bite....but her little nails are like tiny little razor blades. .....okay this is gettin longer than I wanted....well I wish I had picture, but lets just say the LAST, and FINAL time I helped hold her down...I walked out of the vet with scratches up and down both of my forearms....and bleeding in spots...I looked like I got attacked with a pocket knife.:weirdface

....so in the end...my wife's 14lbs pug has given me more reason to be affraid of her, than gettin bit by a 6+ foot long python....:D


....have your boyfriend read this post....WATCH OUT FOR PUGS!:salute:

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Oh....and I forgot to add...more people get injured in riding lawnmower accidents a year than from snakes... :rofl: ...sorry....serious a matter. :salute:

I agree that it sounds like a control issue. In my experience, once that cycle starts, it doesn't stop. It will start with trying to control what pets you can have, then maybe what clothes you can wear, who you can be friends with, etc... I'm not saying this IS the case, just what I have seen in my experience. I would say that if he has a problem with you bringing your pets, maybe you should say that it doesn't sound like he's ready to take the relationship to that next level. See what his reaction is. It could go either way. Either he will become more receptive to the idea of having animals when he realizes you are that passionate about them. On the other hand, you may just find out that he's not the right guy after all... Whatever happens, good luck with everything and know it will all work out for the best in the end...

My best guy friend HATED HATED HATED snakes, but because i had a 9 year friendship with him, i chased him around my house when he came over... and MADE him touch my ball python, i dont have to chace him now, he wont hold them, but he will tolorate them... and sometimes walk up to me and poke it, and be like yup i touched it, then walk away...

just tell your man that they are very importiant to you, and that they are your passion, he should understand, if not, you could always chace him around with the biggest snake you got ;) jk jk, but seriously, i wouldnt worry to much about it, he might just be trying to be hard arced so he can try and be big boss man :)

and like Ink said, just tell him, dont say you dont have the balls, your gunna have to get them cause you have to stand up and be like dude, this is whats up.

=]

I agree with the folks who suggest that you may be in a relationship with a control freak. People tend to not think clearly in regards to relationships and will get involved with people who are bad to them, and bad for them. Don't let yourself fall into that situation.

I don't understand why he is giving you the rules for the relationship. I have been married now for a looooong time and fully understand that rules and agreements for the relationship and discussed ad nauseum until there is a consensus. Blanket ultimatums could eventually lead to resentment and anger and an eventual breakdown of the relationship.
As for my opinion: you and your bf don't see eye to eye on an issue that sounds pretty fundamental for you. Your in high school, right? Going off to college? Is this right? If so, there is every chance that this boyfriend will be replaced with bf v2.0 and that bf will adore animals as much as you do. :D

I got my snake before i started seeing/living with my boyfriend. (we were dating before I got her, and he KNEW i was getting her). and he is abolsultey phobic. not "i dont like snakes". He cant even see them on TV. ..yet he lives with one in the room. I dont take her out unless hes in another room/sleeping or at work but thats the compromise we've come too. He likes aspen only because he knows how much she means to me.

We've come to a compromise because i want to get more snakes..and hes obviously not too keen on that. When we move into our next place, I'm aloud to renovate one room to become my snake room (i'm thinking more of a large closet). That will be the reptile room and he will just steer clear unless he wants to go in.

Relationships are about compromising, not about control. Talk to this guy, maybe he's seriously phobic, like my boyfriend, and needs to understand how you feel about your snakes. But if he cant see that or you guys cant come to an agreement, this may not work.. and by this, i mean your relationship. and if you can't tell this guy your true feelings..what are you doing with him?

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Originally Posted by JeffFlanagan

I agree with the folks who suggest that you may be in a relationship with a control freak. People tend to not think clearly in regards to relationships and will get involved with people who are bad to them, and bad for them. Don't let yourself fall into that situation.

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That was my phrase that I used at first but then changed, "Control Freak." I didn't want to upset her. I do agree though, control issue. Stand up for yourself!!

:) well thanks guys for all ur info on this subject. I do not think hes phobic like I cant even see them on tv phobic. The first time I fed my snake he was right up to the glass takin pictures of my snake eating! I even asked if it was alright if he watched him to make sure he didn't get out of the cage ( I feed in a separate tank ) so I could do up the dishes really quick before we left. He was all fine with that. He can look at my snake but between the glass. It is confusing. But then again (no offense guys) what guy isnt :P. We got into a little argument about it not to long ago. and at the time I was most likely thinking I was going to HAVE to get rid of my snake. So I told him "Ok guess what you win. You shattered my heart and you win." Weirdest thing happened the argument stopped right away and we rode in silence all the way back to my house. I think that comment kinda made him realize how my snake and animals in general mean to me. So not sure of what he is thinking now. I dont like to bring up the subject >.< I hate to argue.

As for being a control freak. I'm not quiet feeling that vib from it. I know it is difficult to understand a relationship that you are not in but I really don't think he is trying to do that. He is not an animal hater he just likes the little whimmpy animals where I like the big strong animals that everyone is mostly afraid of lol. At first while I was looking at reptiles I saw leopard Geckos he was all against that to but then all of a sudden I saw snakes and thought that would be wicked cool to get and I set my mind on that then he was like well what about the Leopard Geckos y don't you get one of those. I don't know what goes through his head some times. I really do yup I'm gunna use it as young as a am LOVE him. We been dating all through high school. He graduated last year and I graduated this year. I love them both. I am determined to make this work :weirdface

As for boyfriend v2.0 I dont think so :) :banana:

Wow what a long post :P :snake:

throw em in a snake pit.

>.< Ya umm there are not snake pits where I come from

You don't see it as a control freak because you are trapped inside it. But this really has control freak written all over it. I've been in a relationship like that, and trust me it is not fun.

One thing that makes me say this is your statement that you don't "have the balls" to stand up to him.

Another thing is, do you notice in all the stories about people who have pets that their SOs don't like, or vice versa, most of them say something about the person being willing to tolerate it because of the happiness it brings to the person they love. But you don't mention anything of this kind about your BF.

I advise that you try to take a step back from the relationship and look for signs of controlling behavior in other areas. Also, what do your friends and family think of this guy? If they also see the controlling aspect, run fast. Paradoxically, if they think he is too good to be true, that is also a big concern because most likely he is charming them and not showing his true self.

I remember when I was in highschool.... it's amazing how much worldly wisdom one gains in a few years.

Like I said before, there are no definites in life. Do what makes you happy. Everything else is just noise.

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Originally Posted by kc261

You don't see it as a control freak because you are trapped inside it. But this really has control freak written all over it. I've been in a relationship like that, and trust me it is not fun.

One thing that makes me say this is your statement that you don't "have the balls" to stand up to him.

Another thing is, do you notice in all the stories about people who have pets that their SOs don't like, or vice versa, most of them say something about the person being willing to tolerate it because of the happiness it brings to the person they love. But you don't mention anything of this kind about your BF.

I advise that you try to take a step back from the relationship and look for signs of controlling behavior in other areas. Also, what do your friends and family think of this guy? If they also see the controlling aspect, run fast. Paradoxically, if they think he is too good to be true, that is also a big concern because most likely he is charming them and not showing his true self.

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Well he can't be controlling her too much if she still has the snake.... ;)

I think before we jump all over and tell her that her boyfriend is a control freak, we should all just step back and realize that this isn't a Dear Annie forum, and we shouldn't be making such calls over the internet based on one little aspect of their lives.

It's ok to show concern for someone, but perhaps not so publicly. (i.e. PM's)

KC, again I doubt that is really what it is. The statement saying "I wouldnt have the balls" was ment to be like I dont think I could let him go. Not I am scared of him and cant do it. Me and him have butted heads on many subjects as people do and I always stand up for myself. I just want some advice as to what other people may have done to convince their S.O. to let them keep what they enjoy. I really don't want to have to let any of them go. Being torn in both ways like a little kid whose parents just got divorced I guess.

My parents like him. They don't think he is the awsomest man alive but they like him. I don't tell my parents anything >.< we arn't that close. Hence y I graduated early from high school and am going off to school early. I want to get outta this house!!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by Siarah

>.< Ya umm there are not snake pits where I come from

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im just pullin your leg.

i would say just dont push snakes on a person who is afraid. i got my mom to get over her fear through educating her about snakes. every last detail i know. after that she become interested in comming to my room to look at them and watch them feed. after a while she wanted to touch them and that lead to her holding and falling in love with them!!!

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Originally Posted by Siarah

The first time I fed my snake he was right up to the glass takin pictures of my snake eating!

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Its the excitement =]
most people are like this, even if they hate snakes with a passion... snakes are just a powerful animal to watch... and i think thats what most people are afraid of...

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Originally Posted by Siarah

he just likes the little whimmpy animals where I like the big strong animals that everyone is mostly afraid of lol.

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its sad but true, i know a lot of guys that are like that, i have 2 huge german shepherds and 8 snakes, thats a lot for a guy to take in at once lol.

oh, and you really need to bring it up to him, because if you cant do that by now, idk... lol. you need to be able to talk to him whenever you want, and/or have to =]

- and to what DSGB said, my mom was the same way... both parents actually, specially about my BPs cause one struck at me the second i went to hold it at the pet shop... so they were weary... now my mom will open up the tubs she knows are good, and just grab one of my boys =] and she loves my female carpet! haha oh, and she wanted the 6 foot boa i have sitting in my room today... i really didnt care either way... but i do now seeing as i clean up Brazils poop! ahha. he will change eventually

Haha chica u are my hero >.< 2 German Shepard's. Those are on my list of favorite dogs :D

what we did for my mom, aunt, and cusin, was we showed them how loving they were, brough them around them alot, and slowly asked them if they would like to pet them, things like that.
some people just want NOTHING to do with snakes... but if you continue to show them how loving and doctile they are then some people start liking them more...

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Originally Posted by FIEND_FO_LYFE

what we did for my mom, aunt, and cusin, was we showed them how loving they were, brough them around them alot, and slowly asked them if they would like to pet them, things like that.
some people just want NOTHING to do with snakes... but if you continue to show them how loving and doctile they are then some people start liking them more...

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Wow , Wow , Wow this is why school is needed. How do you spell kid?
"cusin" swear much?:P

There could be a whole bunch of issues going on here, fear, control, "I don't want the responsibility", etc.
It's hard for us to know really which it is or a combo. There are a lot of good suggestions and answers here. I hope it works out for you.

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Originally Posted by WaRocker

Wow , Wow , Wow this is why school is needed. How do you spell kid?
"cusin" swear much?:P

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pfft dont be jelous...
oh by the way...

HE GOT NEW GLASSES -->:cool:

Relatively speaking, you are still very young. I dated a girl pretty much all of high school. To make a long story short, it didn't work out. A lot of things change after you graduate. I wouldn't give up your snake and wouldn't cross off your plans to acquire more animals just yet. In the end you might regret it. Compromises in relationships are expected but you shouldn't have to give up everything. Especially a snake. Someone mentioned cats earlier. They made the house smell like poo and brought in fleas. Snakes don't bother anybody.

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Originally Posted by starmom

I don't understand why he is giving you the rules for the relationship. I have been married now for a looooong time and fully understand that rules and agreements for the relationship and discussed ad nauseum until there is a consensus. Blanket ultimatums could eventually lead to resentment and anger and an eventual breakdown of the relationship.
As for my opinion: you and your bf don't see eye to eye on an issue that sounds pretty fundamental for you. Your in high school, right? Going off to college? Is this right? If so, there is every chance that this boyfriend will be replaced with bf v2.0 and that bf will adore animals as much as you do. :D

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Yet another great observation! :D

BF v2.0 LMAO :rofl:

My girlfriend didn't like snakes.. I now have 9 Ball pythons and eggs in the incubator. And going to be married soon... All it takes is a little time.

I started off handling a small ball python with her around and she slowly decided she wanted in on the fun. Now I can't get the darn snake out of her hands lol. She even holds my huge females..

As for my future mother-in-law it is a different story. She lives with us and can't stand the sight of a snake. I keep them in a locked room so she has some peace of mind. Perhaps thats all it will take for him? He will not be home all the time so you will find time to care for and enjoy the snakes..

I am on the other end here, I have had a huge phobia of snakes since I was little, I had a friend who's older brother decided to wake me up one morning with his 6 ft boa on me, I knew there were multiple snakes in the house but i would like to have gone at my own speed, instead of being woken up with that monstrosity on me! LOL. My bf has always wanted a ball, but his Dad was anti-snake so he asked if he could have one at our place, it took me a day or so to warm up to the idea. I figured that since it meant so much to him, why not get over my bad experience and put good ones in it's place. I love watching the balls roam around their tank, and soon I will try to hold one!

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Originally Posted by Puglet

I am on the other end here, I have had a huge phobia of snakes since I was little, I had a friend who's older brother decided to wake me up one morning with his 6 ft boa on me, I knew there were multiple snakes in the house but i would like to have gone at my own speed, instead of being woken up with that monstrosity on me! LOL. My bf has always wanted a ball, but his Dad was anti-snake so he asked if he could have one at our place, it took me a day or so to warm up to the idea. I figured that since it meant so much to him, why not get over my bad experience and put good ones in it's place. I love watching the balls roam around their tank, and soon I will try to hold one!

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that is such an awesome mentality to have about snakes and any animal for that matter. good luck!

more people take after this!

Don't forget that you still have separate lives outside of your relationship. Though I don't recommend living together your first year or so of college (way too risky), if you do choose to live with him, your stuff will still be yours and his stuff will still be his, for the most part. It's not as if once you are together, everything is universally owned and thus you cannot own a snake because he doesn't want to.

For example, my boyfriend and I both have different pets. I keep snakes, he keeps fish and geckos. We like the others' pets, but the responsibilities are divided - I take care of my own pets, he takes care of his. That should be understood when you obtain the pet. So really, your boyfriend would not have to come into any contact with the snake if he didn't want to, because the pet is yours, and he wouldn't have any responsibilities of taking care of it. The snake tank or tub would just be an object in the room that doesn't belong to him, if that is how he wants to see it.

In conclusion, since he is not phobic of snakes, this really does seem to be a control issue to me - you haven't given a solid reason why he refuses to live with a small inconspicuous tub or tank that happens to contain an animal.