How do I make people stop being afraid?

I know this is something we've all dealt with at some point... "The Fear." I used to have it, a little. I was unhappy to be in the same room as a snake, but I wouldn't lose my mind over it. Now that I am completely in love and addicted to snakes, my fiance and I are intending to do some education. We take our guys out to the park for sunshine, and gladly answer questions and let people take photos. No one is allowed to handle them.
This is great. I love it. However.

tl;dr version:

My mother, brother-in-law, some friends, absolutely lose their minds over them. I mean, shuddering, running away (seriously, grown people running away from a 3 foot ball), and getting downright angry with me for having them around. How do I handle this? How do I get these people to realize that my ball python would rather sleep around my neck than bite them? "Is it poison?" (no, it is not venomous.) "Won't it choke you to death?" (not unless I am unconscious already and he doesn't get bored before crushing my windpipe) "He's going to try to eat you!" No, not really, I don't smell like rats.

I know we can't win everyone over, but omg... I'm getting upset! Like, actually, ragey and teary upset. I don't know what to do. I hate their little yappy dogs that make me itch (I'm allergic), but I'm not allowed to bring my baby in his sterilite tub that locks?

I guess I'm done whining. I don't know what to do... thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any insight.

You "handle it" by not subjecting them to their fears - as irrational as they may be. Why is so important to you they they share in your passion?

Your TL;DR is 972 characters long. Your OP is 470 characters. Just sayin'...

It's just a stigma that follows snakes.

Most people think my ball python is HORRIBLE for eating rats, like he's some sort of monster. When they cringe at the thought of eating a 'poor mouse/rat,' I remind them that we too are meat-eaters. The things humans have done to cows, chickens, etc. in the past (and unfortunately, still in many places today) is far less kind than that of the fate of the rodents we feed our ball pythons. It's also just as nature intended (or damn close to it) as opposed to the processing cows, chickens, etc.. If anything, we're the uglier ones in that regard.

As for the violent picture these people create in their minds, I remind them that the rats actually pose a greater danger to us than the snake does (because rats have serious teeth and a bite can even need stitches) whereas a ball lacks the size and strength to do any harm to us. Cats and dogs pose greater risks! A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs (and as much as a dog lover as I am, I definitely feel you on that one!)

I also like to mention that they're some of the lowest maintenance pets out there - feeding once a week, easy habitat maintenance, etc. and that tends to get a decent reaction. It's sad, but when you say that to a dog/cat owner (again, I love dogs and cats,) their ears magically perk up. As soon as you make the pet experience more easier for the owner and focus less about the animal itself, suddenly the animal becomes more attractive. But hey, that's human nature.

You're never going to sway some people, just like you won't sway me from judging women that carry chihuahuas around in their purses/in their hands all the time. Gross. :rolleyes:

I'm aware I went off. I did say I ended up venting. I apologize. In don't expect them to share the passion. I just want to know how to get the same respect they expect when they bring animals around that physically affect me, or think it's adorable when a dirty dog jumps on me. I've voiced my issue with this, but I just get "they're icky." I do not force the animal on them. But I am sick of not getting the same respect.

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Originally Posted by Stargazer735

It's just a stigma that follows snakes.

Most people think my ball python is HORRIBLE for eating rats, like he's some sort of monster. When they cringe at the thought of eating a 'poor mouse/rat,' I remind them that we too are meat-eaters. The things humans have done to cows, chickens, etc. in the past (and unfortunately, still in many places today) is far less kind than that of the fate of the rodents we feed our ball pythons. It's also just as nature intended (or damn close to it) as opposed to the processing cows, chickens, etc.. If anything, we're the uglier ones in that regard.

As for the violent picture these people create in their minds, I remind them that the rats actually pose a greater danger to us than the snake does (because rats have serious teeth and a bite can even need stitches) whereas a ball lacks the size and strength to do any harm to us. Cats and dogs pose greater risks! A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs (and as much as a dog lover as I am, I definitely feel you on that one!)

I also like to mention that they're some of the lowest maintenance pets out there - feeding once a week, easy habitat maintenance, etc. and that tends to get a decent reaction. It's sad, but when you say that to a dog/cat owner (again, I love dogs and cats,) their ears magically perk up. As soon as you make the pet experience more easier for the owner and focus less about the animal itself, suddenly the animal becomes more attractive. But hey, that's human nature.

You're never going to sway some people, just like you won't sway me from judging women that carry chihuahuas around in their purses/in their hands all the time. Gross. :rolleyes:

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Thanks, you see where I'm coming from. Like I said in my other reply, I am not expecting them to share in my passion. I know some people will NEVER be turned. However, it's a respect thing. I guess I just have to deal with it, and pretend they are some deep dark secret in my house.

As for the harm, right. I'm more likely to choke on my dinner than I am for my snake to choke me out. Or any snake to choke me out. It's about responsibility, and people don't seem to get that. They see horror stories and urban legends and assume it's just how it is. If I was trying to take a Burm or a retic into their house, yeah I can see the freak out. I'm not even trying to take it into their homes! It's an in public thing. My mother won't even come to my house now, even if I tell her they are in the other room behind closed doors, in locked containers. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I'm going too long again.

You'll never get the same respect. Just not going to happen... and that shouldn't bother you one bit.

Ball pythons are unique and beautiful creatures. People never like what they're afraid of, but as long you and your snake are happy and safe, it doesn't matter. Don't try to seek anyone's approval but your own (and your snakes'!)

Get off the computer and go play with one of your snakes. You'll feel better. In fact, I think I'm going to do the same and say hi to Sebastian (my blue-eyed leucistic.)

I do hear what you're saying, and I absolutely understand that you mean well. I'm only saying to try and remember that logic has its own dynamic. None of us has sole claim on what it means to be rational.

It sounds to me like there's a larger issue at hand than simply snakes vs dogs.

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Originally Posted by Stargazer735

A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs.

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I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

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Originally Posted by Stargazer735

You'll never get the same respect. Just not going to happen... and that shouldn't bother you one bit.

Ball pythons are unique and beautiful creatures. People never like what they're afraid of, but as long you and your snake are happy and safe, it doesn't matter. Don't try to seek anyone's approval but your own (and your snakes'!)

Get off the computer and go play with one of your snakes. You'll feel better. In fact, I think I'm going to do the same and say hi to Sebastian (my blue-eyed leucistic.)

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Oh we are all very happy together :) I am going to go take the boa out, actually, he's in trust training. It makes me feel better :D
(my dream guy is a BEL. give him extra <3 from me!)

- - - Updated - - -

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Originally Posted by Eric Alan

I do hear what you're saying, and I absolutely understand that you mean well. I'm only saying to try and remember that logic has its own dynamic. None of us has sole claim on what it means to be rational.

It sounds to me like there's a larger issue at hand than simply snakes vs dogs.

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The snakes vs dogs is just an example. I guess I am being just as irrational.

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Originally Posted by KMG

I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

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Haha, point taken! I didn't want to make it sound like I was overreacting... but yes, I'll agree with that. :D

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Originally Posted by KMG

I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

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Agree about the bite. I'm not taking them to the homes of people that don't want to see them, I wouldn't be that insensitive. And it's more for the snake's comfort, like you said. No need to stress out a "helpless" animal who has no choice in it. When I take them, it's to public places where they are welcome other than these chosen few. It was a bad weekend with a person that we know, guess I'm still taking it to heart.

Gotcha. Good deal.

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Originally Posted by stloria

I know this is something we've all dealt with at some point... "The Fear." I used to have it, a little. I was unhappy to be in the same room as a snake, but I wouldn't lose my mind over it. Now that I am completely in love and addicted to snakes, my fiance and I are intending to do some education. We take our guys out to the park for sunshine, and gladly answer questions and let people take photos. No one is allowed to handle them.
This is great. I love it. However.

tl;dr version:

My mother, brother-in-law, some friends, absolutely lose their minds over them. I mean, shuddering, running away (seriously, grown people running away from a 3 foot ball), and getting downright angry with me for having them around. How do I handle this? How do I get these people to realize that my ball python would rather sleep around my neck than bite them? "Is it poison?" (no, it is not venomous.) "Won't it choke you to death?" (not unless I am unconscious already and he doesn't get bored before crushing my windpipe) "He's going to try to eat you!" No, not really, I don't smell like rats.

I know we can't win everyone over, but omg... I'm getting upset! Like, actually, ragey and teary upset. I don't know what to do. I hate their little yappy dogs that make me itch (I'm allergic), but I'm not allowed to bring my baby in his sterilite tub that locks?

I guess I'm done whining. I don't know what to do... thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any insight.

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Why take them anywhere? Your snakes aren't getting anything out of a trip to the park, the pet store, etc.

Do what you do for YOURSELF. Be passionate about things that make YOU happy. Why is it important that other people share your passion? If it is moving you to the point of being emotional, then the problem lies within.

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Originally Posted by Skiploder

Why take them anywhere? Your snakes aren't getting anything out of a trip to the park, the pet store, etc.

Do what you do for YOURSELF. Be passionate about things that make YOU happy. Why is it important that other people share your passion? If it is moving you to the point of being emotional, then the problem lies within.

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Again, I'm not asking them to share it, just asking for them to be respectful. I see I won't ever get that though. When we take them out, it's for education or to people who ask. We don't just take them wherever. But yeah, I see your point.

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Originally Posted by stloria

I'm aware I went off. I did say I ended up venting. I apologize. In don't expect them to share the passion. I just want to know how to get the same respect they expect when they bring animals around that physically affect me, or think it's adorable when a dirty dog jumps on me. I've voiced my issue with this, but I just get "they're icky." I do not force the animal on them. But I am sick of not getting the same respect.

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I share your sentiment here. I feel the same regarding when people are presumptious that I love their animals, or anything for that matter - because they do. I also try and keep in mind that I am not perfect and I cannot expect said people to be perfect; in a perfect world we would all understand that we all have tastes and distastes and that we would all respect each others'. That said, going out of your comfort zone can be immensely rewarding, as you have experienced. But a perfect world's inhabitants would understand that too, and maybe the perfect people would stretch their comfort zones to the level that resulted in the greatest fulfillment of their lives.

But, we don't live in a perfect world; as such some people will be more open to stretching that zone and some won't, and it must be mentioned that some people do have concrete irrational fears that they cannot get over, or just don't want to. I have a pretty irrational fear of spiders even though I know and respect that so many people, including those in this forum, love them with a passion. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable holding a big T(arantula). I've exposed myself to them and still can't really shake it, even though I am an animal lover and think they deserve the same respect I give cats and snakes and other cool things. And I would ask a T enthusiast to respect my irrational fear.

If your family is not willing to even enter the realm of stretching their comfort zones, whether or not they have that irrational fear like I do, I think it should be respected. I am all for educating and stretching to the max, but at the will of the parties in question. If they don't have that irrational fear and are just ignorant, and refuse to give your animals or you the respect you/they deserve, then that is simply unfortunate, and boils down to the "we can't choose our family" clause. But you have family here :)

Maybe that was helpful in some way. :D

It is, for lack of a better word, "disappointing" when your family and friends don't also like reptiles.. Or even worse, when they actively dislike your hobby. Fortunately for me, even when my family doesn't like the snakes, they don't say much about it.

For my part, I don't subject them to the snakes when they're over. Unless they ask to see them, the snakes stay tucked away in their room. I am lucky that my husband also likes the snakes. He's not as into them as me but he does like to handle them and feed them, etc. The rest of my immediate family, however, has a negative reaction to them.

I would just suggest that you don't take the snakes out around these family members, but occasionally mention snake stuff around them and maybe one day they'll start asking questions and it might go somewhere. I agree that the low-maintenance aspect of the snakes can be a good "selling point" and also that they are free of odor and don't make noise. These talking points do seem to make people perk up. I also usually make sure that I have some photos of my snakes on my phone so that if someone acts even the least bit interested, I can pull up some pics to show them.

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Originally Posted by Heeltoeclutch

I share your sentiment here. I feel the same regarding when people are presumptious that I love their animals, or anything for that matter - because they do. I also try and keep in mind that I am not perfect and I cannot expect said people to be perfect; in a perfect world we would all understand that we all have tastes and distastes and that we would all respect each others'. That said, going out of your comfort zone can be immensely rewarding, as you have experienced. But a perfect world's inhabitants would understand that too, and maybe the perfect people would stretch their comfort zones to the level that resulted in the greatest fulfillment of their lives.

But, we don't live in a perfect world; as such some people will be more open to stretching that zone and some won't, and it must be mentioned that some people do have concrete irrational fears that they cannot get over, or just don't want to. I have a pretty irrational fear of spiders even though I know and respect that so many people, including those in this forum, love them with a passion. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable holding a big T(arantula). I've exposed myself to them and still can't really shake it, even though I am an animal lover and think they deserve the same respect I give cats and snakes and other cool things. And I would ask a T enthusiast to respect my irrational fear.

If your family is not willing to even enter the realm of stretching their comfort zones, whether or not they have that irrational fear like I do, I think it should be respected. I am all for educating and stretching to the max, but at the will of the parties in question. If they don't have that irrational fear and are just ignorant, and refuse to give your animals or you the respect you/they deserve, then that is simply unfortunate, and boils down to the "we can't choose our family" clause. But you have family here :)

Maybe that was helpful in some way. :D

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It was helpful, thanks. I share the spider thing, so I guess I just have to think of it that way. As I said earlier, I think maybe I am just hot over the immediacy of events this weekend. I want to educate, we are trying to get an education program together, and it just seems so counterproductive when I have to "deal" with people like that. So, I won't. It definitely dampers my plans right now, but it will work out.

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Originally Posted by artgecko

It is, for lack of a better word, "disappointing" when your family and friends don't also like reptiles.. Or even worse, when they actively dislike your hobby. Fortunately for me, even when my family doesn't like the snakes, they don't say much about it.

For my part, I don't subject them to the snakes when they're over. Unless they ask to see them, the snakes stay tucked away in their room. I am lucky that my husband also likes the snakes. He's not as into them as me but he does like to handle them and feed them, etc. The rest of my immediate family, however, has a negative reaction to them.

I would just suggest that you don't take the snakes out around these family members, but occasionally mention snake stuff around them and maybe one day they'll start asking questions and it might go somewhere. I agree that the low-maintenance aspect of the snakes can be a good "selling point" and also that they are free of odor and don't make noise. These talking points do seem to make people perk up. I also usually make sure that I have some photos of my snakes on my phone so that if someone acts even the least bit interested, I can pull up some pics to show them.

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I definitely don't take them out around them. There is one who seems to have suddenly "developed" this irrational fear, so I have no idea what happened, and he won't talk about it other than "they're evil." I assume someone had a conversation with him, and he won't talk about it with me or my fiance no matter how we try to bring it up. One day they fascinated him and he touched them, the next he was running away. Grown adult, running to the next room. Can't explain it, won't try to figure it out. But I do keep pictures, and I'm getting closer to brining my mom around... she even said the BPs have cute faces. Victory!

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Originally Posted by stloria

I definitely don't take them out around them. There is one who seems to have suddenly "developed" this irrational fear, so I have no idea what happened, and he won't talk about it other than "they're evil." I assume someone had a conversation with him, and he won't talk about it with me or my fiance no matter how we try to bring it up. One day they fascinated him and he touched them, the next he was running away. Grown adult, running to the next room. Can't explain it, won't try to figure it out. But I do keep pictures, and I'm getting closer to brining my mom around... she even said the BPs have cute faces. Victory!

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They certainly do :) maybe someday my mom will hold a snake. Or maybe I'll see a toaster flapping its way across the infinite blue.

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Originally Posted by stloria

Again, I'm not asking them to share it, just asking for them to be respectful. I see I won't ever get that though. When we take them out, it's for education or to people who ask. We don't just take them wherever. But yeah, I see your point.

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No when you take them out it's for ATTENTION, you want to educate you do so in an indoor setting (schools etc) and it is something planned, you don't take them to a park and subject anyone walking by to your snakes.

This hobby is under tremendous scrutiny so we don't need people to take their snake to a park all it take is one by stander and in no time you end up in the news, and it will make all of us look bad.

You want to educate as you claim do it in the proper setting.

That to me is a much bigger issue then your family not liking your snakes.


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OP I see two issues:

- Your immediate family members are afraid of your snakes and don't want to be around them; whether that fear is based in logic is a moot point. That's easily fixed, you leave your snakes home when visiting family, which makes both your snakes and your family happy. OTOH you will never have to worry about hosting family or holiday get-togethers as long as you have snakes in residence, which makes life much stressful on you. :)

- Your immediate family members also have dogs, you are allergic to dogs, and yet your family members bring their dogs to family events knowing that you will be there, or allow their dogs to come into contact with you. You have a legitimate health concern that they are ignoring, and you have every right to be PO'ed about them not showing you the same consideration that you show them. Since they won't change their behavior you can either choose to 1) put up with it, or 2) politely decline invitations to occasions where people will have their dogs with them.

I hear you on this. Two children were mauled to death by a snake out here last year and all I got from family was " I hope your not letting your daughter play with that snake now" "aren't you afraid he will eat the cats or choke them or worse you?" … um he's like not even four feet, that snake was like 25 feet and illegal! Plus I live in a very Christian area soooooooo, my snake is the "Devil" of the garden of Eden, I even got a Christmas card last year saying "were all praying for you and your family". Not that long ago, a person who always watched our cats while away told us last minute he can't come in our house because of the snake, we were packed and ready to leave and he does this now rather than a week ago when we asked and he said yes? The man was literally working himself up into a frenzy and finally came over and said he couldn't do it. Talk about scrambling for a pet sitter last minute, thank god we got someone or we wouldnt have been able to go! Some people just have a real fear of snakes and as I said, Christians are taught young about the evil snake in the garden taunting Eve to eat the apple and some really take it to heart and some don't even realize that is why they hate snakes until they dig deep into their past. I honestly never thought I would have one, I never hated them but it wasnt a pet I wanted in my house but after getting this guy I have now, I love snakes. Its been a learning curve and I had my first bite last night but I wouldnt give him up, he's family now. I suggest you just tell people your snakes are your family just like their dog and be honest about you not wanting the dog in your space and you won't bring the snake into theirs. I don't really see why you would bring your snakes to peoples homes who don't like them anyway, it just stresses everyone, including the snake.

Enjoy your snake family!:snake:

My mother is petrified of snakes.

I handle this by not having my snakes around her. Or really even discussing the snakes with her.

Strangely, this has made her less terrified and generally more accepting over time. Somehow, knowing I'm around them and they haven't eaten my children and other pets is reassuring, when in the absence of having them shoved in her face.

My husband just plain doesn't like snakes. Not afraid just very "EH". I handle that by not forcing them on him or asking him to take care of or interact with them. Also, strangely, he's gotten better and has developed a fondness for our little Calking, all on his own.

I know you're not getting respect from these people with your issues/allergies with dogs, but what's that saying? Two wrongs don't make a right? Seriously, you're just escalating the situation. Some people are PHOBIC of snakes. It has nothing to do with rationality, it has nothing to do with logic, and it has everything to do with being an innate, illogical, fear that is hard if not possible to overcome. We're not therapists. We're not providing exposure therapy to them with forced interaction. Some people just don't like them. You're not helping them, snakes, or the hobby by pushing the issue. You may be making phobias, apathy, or dislike WORSE by pushing the issue.

You are certainly harming your relationships by making it another point of contention or using them as a 'get even' weapon or to make a point.

Let. It. Go.

My attitude is my home is for the comfort of my animals...snakes, dogs, even a few mice who my husband got attached to instead of feeding to Prec. If they don't like it don't come over. Simple. Also, although I would love to show off my BP more I've always thought the stress on her would be too much. She knows my husband and I aren't going to eat her, nor her us, but I think the stress on her of forcing her on non snake people is not worth the risk. I also have a service dog (I am disabled) and the number of crazy people who run screaming when my perfectly trained service dog walks slightly in front of me to check for obstacles etc and lays quietly under the table in a restaurant, never moving, unless to check my blood sugar.


Molly & Precioucess

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Originally Posted by Deborah

No when you take them out it's for ATTENTION, you want to educate you do so in an indoor setting (schools etc) and it is something planned, you don't take them to a park and subject anyone walking by to your snakes.

This hobby is under tremendous scrutiny so we don't need people to take their snake to a park all it take is one by stander and in no time you end up in the news, and it will make all of us look bad.

You want to educate as you claim do it in the proper setting.

That to me is a much bigger issue then your family not liking your snakes.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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I may be misunderstood, when I say the park. I don't mean a large park in the middle of town. It's a shop community off of a park, where shop owners have asked us to bring them in. We sit outside, and people know they are there. We are not those "oooo look at the people with the snake around their necks!" walking around trying to look scary. That's just ignorant, and counterproductive to education.

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Originally Posted by bcr229

OP I see two issues:

- Your immediate family members are afraid of your snakes and don't want to be around them; whether that fear is based in logic is a moot point. That's easily fixed, you leave your snakes home when visiting family, which makes both your snakes and your family happy. OTOH you will never have to worry about hosting family or holiday get-togethers as long as you have snakes in residence, which makes life much stressful on you. :)

- Your immediate family members also have dogs, you are allergic to dogs, and yet your family members bring their dogs to family events knowing that you will be there, or allow their dogs to come into contact with you. You have a legitimate health concern that they are ignoring, and you have every right to be PO'ed about them not showing you the same consideration that you show them. Since they won't change their behavior you can either choose to 1) put up with it, or 2) politely decline invitations to occasions where people will have their dogs with them.

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I don't take them to their homes. That one family member was fine, now isn't, so the boys stay home if we go there. I would never take them without asking, either. And yes, no family functions at my house, which is GREAT. :D

I've begun declining indoor events at their homes. I don't need to be doped up on Benadryl while I'm there.
Thank you :)

That definitely sounds about right! There was an incident last year (it may be the same one) of an irresponsible owner leaving either a Burm or a retic in an unsecured enclosure, and 2 boys died. So of course I heard the same things... as for the rest, yes. Parts of my family are Evangelical, so I have demons in my house. I ignore them, because there is no way in the world I'll change their minds.

I've calmed down about things, I think. I have realized that I was being tantrum-y about it. If they want to learn, I will gladly teach them. If they want to meet the boys, I won't hesitate.

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Originally Posted by CptJack

My mother is petrified of snakes.

I handle this by not having my snakes around her. Or really even discussing the snakes with her.

Strangely, this has made her less terrified and generally more accepting over time. Somehow, knowing I'm around them and they haven't eaten my children and other pets is reassuring, when in the absence of having them shoved in her face.

My husband just plain doesn't like snakes. Not afraid just very "EH". I handle that by not forcing them on him or asking him to take care of or interact with them. Also, strangely, he's gotten better and has developed a fondness for our little Calking, all on his own.

I know you're not getting respect from these people with your issues/allergies with dogs, but what's that saying? Two wrongs don't make a right? Seriously, you're just escalating the situation. Some people are PHOBIC of snakes. It has nothing to do with rationality, it has nothing to do with logic, and it has everything to do with being an innate, illogical, fear that is hard if not possible to overcome. We're not therapists. We're not providing exposure therapy to them with forced interaction. Some people just don't like them. You're not helping them, snakes, or the hobby by pushing the issue. You may be making phobias, apathy, or dislike WORSE by pushing the issue.

You are certainly harming your relationships by making it another point of contention or using them as a 'get even' weapon or to make a point.

Let. It. Go.

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Not usingthem to "get even" at all. Again, it was just a for example type statement. I wouldn't take them near people who are seriously phobic. The same way I would not want someone with a tarantula to come near me. I'm not a jerk. I think this whole thing has (to use your word) escalated to make me seem like I am running around shoving my snakes in people's faces, and doing tribal dances in the town square. No.

1. We take one snake at a time to a venue where they are requested. People learn, people take photos, people smile, or they leave because they don't like snakes.

2. A family member who was previously "eh" about them suddenly (like, literally overnight. I am not exaggerating) became phobic. They no longer go near him, nor do we even bring them up around him.

3. Certain other people say they are "gross." They dismiss us when we talk about them, even if we are not talking to them. They are not fearful, just "snakes are icky." These are the people that raise my ire, but I am now dismissing them in turn.

4. I do not force my snakes on anyone. I do not parade them through the streets. They are not dogs out to be walked, nor cats to be primped and carried in purses.

5. I am slowly but surely warming other people up to them, by describing their antics, and telling the amusing stories since they have such personalities. These people may never want to be near them, or meet them, but at least they do not freak out or shudder. Passive interest is still interest.

I am sorry if my post miffed anyone off, or made me seem ignorant.

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Originally Posted by calmolly1

My attitude is my home is for the comfort of my animals...snakes, dogs, even a few mice who my husband got attached to instead of feeding to Prec. If they don't like it don't come over. Simple. Also, although I would love to show off my BP more I've always thought the stress on her would be too much. She knows my husband and I aren't going to eat her, nor her us, but I think the stress on her of forcing her on non snake people is not worth the risk. I also have a service dog (I am disabled) and the number of crazy people who run screaming when my perfectly trained service dog walks slightly in front of me to check for obstacles etc and lays quietly under the table in a restaurant, never moving, unless to check my blood sugar.


Molly & Precioucess

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Some people just don't understand animals AT ALL. Luckily we have each other and our fondness. Thank you Molly.

My mother used Godzilla as a reference to Blue tongue skinks when I wanted one :rolleyes: I understand the rage. I don't think I read past the first page of posts and sorry to be ignorant but I feel the first page.

I remember when I first got those phobic and mean reactions from people about my snakes and hobby, it really bothered me. It took me a bit to realize the best way to be an advocate from day to day, is to just lead by example. My jobs know me as the snake lady and the horse lady, but mainly snake lady. I have people I've never told about my snakes at work come up and ask me questions all the time. Pretty much everyone at both jobs that knows I have snakes has eventually asked questions about them and answering them is a good opportunity to give them real information and open up their minds a little. I've gotten people from being afraid of snakes to holding them this way. I never force or pressure anyone though.

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Originally Posted by Sir Hognose

My mother used Godzilla as a reference to Blue tongue skinks when I wanted one :rolleyes: I understand the rage. I don't think I read past the first page of posts and sorry to be ignorant but I feel the first page.

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Thank you

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Originally Posted by Marrissa

I remember when I first got those phobic and mean reactions from people about my snakes and hobby, it really bothered me. It took me a bit to realize the best way to be an advocate from day to day, is to just lead by example. My jobs know me as the snake lady and the horse lady, but mainly snake lady. I have people I've never told about my snakes at work come up and ask me questions all the time. Pretty much everyone at both jobs that knows I have snakes has eventually asked questions about them and answering them is a good opportunity to give them real information and open up their minds a little. I've gotten people from being afraid of snakes to holding them this way. I never force or pressure anyone though.

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I think that's what it was. It was the first real "OMG NO EVIL!!!!" reaction that we got, and it bothered me bad. Now I just ignore it. I certainly don't force or pressure, because I know how *I* would be in that situation, and a good way to get bitten is to be unsure around the animal. None of mine have bitten (yet), but I don't want it to be on someone who is already skittish. Certain people want me to bring one of the boys around, certain people ask about them, and certain people are becoming more open. Others, well, I just leave it alone. No sense in getting more worked up.
Thank you

My mom was scared of snakes(not terrified just scared) until I introduced her to a hatchling cornsnake.It was the very first snake she had ever held in her life and she was 60. Now she is not scared at all though wont hold anything bigger then a cornsnake.
My sons work with a woman that is terrified of even talking about snakes, I would hate to be that afraid of anything.

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Originally Posted by Miranda2

My mom was scared of snakes(not terrified just scared) until I introduced her to a hatchling cornsnake.It was the very first snake she had ever held in her life and she was 60. Now she is not scared at all though wont hold anything bigger then a cornsnake.
My sons work with a woman that is terrified of even talking about snakes, I would hate to be that afraid of anything.

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My mom is getting closer to being ok, but I'm not going to force her. She'll come around, hopefully. If not, then at least I don't have to worry about surprise visits!

I'm close to being that afraid of spiders... close, but not that bad.