How do I make people stop being afraid?

[stloria]

I know this is something we've all dealt with at some point... "The Fear." I used to have it, a little. I was unhappy to be in the same room as a snake, but I wouldn't lose my mind over it. Now that I am completely in love and addicted to snakes, my fiance and I are intending to do some education. We take our guys out to the park for sunshine, and gladly answer questions and let people take photos. No one is allowed to handle them.
This is great. I love it. However.

tl;dr version:

My mother, brother-in-law, some friends, absolutely lose their minds over them. I mean, shuddering, running away (seriously, grown people running away from a 3 foot ball), and getting downright angry with me for having them around. How do I handle this? How do I get these people to realize that my ball python would rather sleep around my neck than bite them? "Is it poison?" (no, it is not venomous.) "Won't it choke you to death?" (not unless I am unconscious already and he doesn't get bored before crushing my windpipe) "He's going to try to eat you!" No, not really, I don't smell like rats.

I know we can't win everyone over, but omg... I'm getting upset! Like, actually, ragey and teary upset. I don't know what to do. I hate their little yappy dogs that make me itch (I'm allergic), but I'm not allowed to bring my baby in his sterilite tub that locks?

I guess I'm done whining. I don't know what to do... thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any insight.

[Eric Alan]

You "handle it" by not subjecting them to their fears - as irrational as they may be. Why is so important to you they they share in your passion?

Your TL;DR is 972 characters long. Your OP is 470 characters. Just sayin'...

[Stargazer735]

It's just a stigma that follows snakes.

Most people think my ball python is HORRIBLE for eating rats, like he's some sort of monster. When they cringe at the thought of eating a 'poor mouse/rat,' I remind them that we too are meat-eaters. The things humans have done to cows, chickens, etc. in the past (and unfortunately, still in many places today) is far less kind than that of the fate of the rodents we feed our ball pythons. It's also just as nature intended (or damn close to it) as opposed to the processing cows, chickens, etc.. If anything, we're the uglier ones in that regard.

As for the violent picture these people create in their minds, I remind them that the rats actually pose a greater danger to us than the snake does (because rats have serious teeth and a bite can even need stitches) whereas a ball lacks the size and strength to do any harm to us. Cats and dogs pose greater risks! A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs (and as much as a dog lover as I am, I definitely feel you on that one!)

I also like to mention that they're some of the lowest maintenance pets out there - feeding once a week, easy habitat maintenance, etc. and that tends to get a decent reaction. It's sad, but when you say that to a dog/cat owner (again, I love dogs and cats,) their ears magically perk up. As soon as you make the pet experience more easier for the owner and focus less about the animal itself, suddenly the animal becomes more attractive. But hey, that's human nature.

You're never going to sway some people, just like you won't sway me from judging women that carry chihuahuas around in their purses/in their hands all the time. Gross.

[stloria]

I'm aware I went off. I did say I ended up venting. I apologize. In don't expect them to share the passion. I just want to know how to get the same respect they expect when they bring animals around that physically affect me, or think it's adorable when a dirty dog jumps on me. I've voiced my issue with this, but I just get "they're icky." I do not force the animal on them. But I am sick of not getting the same respect.

[stloria]

It's just a stigma that follows snakes.

Most people think my ball python is HORRIBLE for eating rats, like he's some sort of monster. When they cringe at the thought of eating a 'poor mouse/rat,' I remind them that we too are meat-eaters. The things humans have done to cows, chickens, etc. in the past (and unfortunately, still in many places today) is far less kind than that of the fate of the rodents we feed our ball pythons. It's also just as nature intended (or damn close to it) as opposed to the processing cows, chickens, etc.. If anything, we're the uglier ones in that regard.

As for the violent picture these people create in their minds, I remind them that the rats actually pose a greater danger to us than the snake does (because rats have serious teeth and a bite can even need stitches) whereas a ball lacks the size and strength to do any harm to us. Cats and dogs pose greater risks! A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs (and as much as a dog lover as I am, I definitely feel you on that one!)

I also like to mention that they're some of the lowest maintenance pets out there - feeding once a week, easy habitat maintenance, etc. and that tends to get a decent reaction. It's sad, but when you say that to a dog/cat owner (again, I love dogs and cats,) their ears magically perk up. As soon as you make the pet experience more easier for the owner and focus less about the animal itself, suddenly the animal becomes more attractive. But hey, that's human nature.

You're never going to sway some people, just like you won't sway me from judging women that carry chihuahuas around in their purses/in their hands all the time. Gross.

Thanks, you see where I'm coming from. Like I said in my other reply, I am not expecting them to share in my passion. I know some people will NEVER be turned. However, it's a respect thing. I guess I just have to deal with it, and pretend they are some deep dark secret in my house.

As for the harm, right. I'm more likely to choke on my dinner than I am for my snake to choke me out. Or any snake to choke me out. It's about responsibility, and people don't seem to get that. They see horror stories and urban legends and assume it's just how it is. If I was trying to take a Burm or a retic into their house, yeah I can see the freak out. I'm not even trying to take it into their homes! It's an in public thing. My mother won't even come to my house now, even if I tell her they are in the other room behind closed doors, in locked containers. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I'm going too long again.

[Stargazer735]

You'll never get the same respect. Just not going to happen... and that shouldn't bother you one bit.

Ball pythons are unique and beautiful creatures. People never like what they're afraid of, but as long you and your snake are happy and safe, it doesn't matter. Don't try to seek anyone's approval but your own (and your snakes'!)

Get off the computer and go play with one of your snakes. You'll feel better. In fact, I think I'm going to do the same and say hi to Sebastian (my blue-eyed leucistic.)

[Eric Alan]

I do hear what you're saying, and I absolutely understand that you mean well. I'm only saying to try and remember that logic has its own dynamic. None of us has sole claim on what it means to be rational.

It sounds to me like there's a larger issue at hand than simply snakes vs dogs.

[KMG]

A bite from a ball is comparable to that of a bite from one of your family members' yappy little dogs.

I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

[stloria]

You'll never get the same respect. Just not going to happen... and that shouldn't bother you one bit.

Ball pythons are unique and beautiful creatures. People never like what they're afraid of, but as long you and your snake are happy and safe, it doesn't matter. Don't try to seek anyone's approval but your own (and your snakes'!)

Get off the computer and go play with one of your snakes. You'll feel better. In fact, I think I'm going to do the same and say hi to Sebastian (my blue-eyed leucistic.)

Oh we are all very happy together I am going to go take the boa out, actually, he's in trust training. It makes me feel better
(my dream guy is a BEL. give him extra <3 from me!)

- - - Updated - - -

I do hear what you're saying, and I absolutely understand that you mean well. I'm only saying to try and remember that logic has its own dynamic. None of us has sole claim on what it means to be rational.

It sounds to me like there's a larger issue at hand than simply snakes vs dogs.

The snakes vs dogs is just an example. I guess I am being just as irrational.

[Stargazer735]

I have to disagree. Small dogs have a far more damaging bite than a ball python. I would never compare the two. I would tell them a bp bite is comparable to rubbing against Velcro.

As for not being able to take your snake to visit...even in a locking tub. I don't get it. Why take them out of their comfy home to set in conditions that are less than ideal just to be around people that don't want it there? I know your proud to own your snake but I have never been one to want to cart mine around to let people with a fear of them see it.

If people have a fear of them let them come to you. Dont go to them. How bad would it be if a snake stressed from travel tagged somebody like that? They would never change their pov then.

Haha, point taken! I didn't want to make it sound like I was overreacting... but yes, I'll agree with that.