Sorrow. [Need shoulders to cry on]

Alice still hasn't shown up.
There's no sign of him anywhere.
Not so much as a tiny disturbance in all the flour scattered everywhere around bowls of water, heating pads or mice.

Hubby pulled the trailer up to the house and parked it under the upstairs window and I'm tearing everything apart, literally piece by piece and throwing much of it away, just in case he got up there, somehow.

I have an infrared security camera set up in the false wall where the hole goes under the house.

I 'caught' a mouse wandering around in there...and nothing else.

I switched to talcum powder because the mice were eating the flour and cornstarch and gave me false hope when I saw it had been disturbed.

There's no way to see inside the log walls or between the floors/ceilings.

There are so many places he could've gotten into and never find his way back out again.

I am sinking into despair.

I hurt so badly.

My chest is always hurting, my stomach has hollow ache that won't go away and the crying has switched to the silent grieving that accompanies hopelessness.

I knew I loved him dearly but I didn't know how very much so.

I'm not looking for new suggestions...I've followed every one given me to the letter and still haven't seen a single indication that he's here.

I guess I just need comfort from those who understand what it is to love a snake this much.

:tears:

Thanks for listening.

Shari

p.s. the super pastel with the 'smiley face' arrives Thursday.
I thought he would cheer me up but it's like putting a BandAid over a sucking chest wound.
It helps, but not much.

Easy, now--it's unlikely that the guy is dead. He's just missing! He has mice to eat. He is a snake, he can find his way out if he wants to. If you can't find him, then just wait. Wait, and remember that wild ball pythons can go 6 months or more without food. That they like to sit and wait. That they can take weeks or months to adapt to a change in environment. He may come wandering back out once he feels secure enough to explore, you know. It doesn't sound like he will lack for a source of water, or food. Chances are, he is ok.

Relax--it's true, it may be a long time before you see him again, but that doesn't mean he isn't there. It's clear you have done all you can--now it's time to wait--ball pythons are patient, and that's a lesson they can teach us, too.

The problem I am seeing here is that this seems to be affecting your health. You really have to relax and as was said try to be patient. At this point it is out of your control. It is not worth it to make yourself physically ill. The snake will return if and when it wants to. The majority seem to be found, even after a long while. Rarely do these stories turn out for the worst.


I do not want to sound mean, but this does seem like a bit of an extreme reaction, and you may need help, outside of this board, to relax and get perspective. I see it a lot in my line of work where people worry themselves into the hospital over things they cannot control.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

Easy, now--it's unlikely that the guy is dead. He's just missing! He has mice to eat. He is a snake, he can find his way out if he wants to. If you can't find him, then just wait. Wait, and remember that wild ball pythons can go 6 months or more without food. That they like to sit and wait. That they can take weeks or months to adapt to a change in environment. He may come wandering back out once he feels secure enough to explore, you know. It doesn't sound like he will lack for a source of water, or food. Chances are, he is ok.

Relax--it's true, it may be a long time before you see him again, but that doesn't mean he isn't there. It's clear you have done all you can--now it's time to wait--ball pythons are patient, and that's a lesson they can teach us, too.

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Thank you, dear friend.
I pray you're right.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jinx667

The problem I am seeing here is that this seems to be affecting your health. You really have to relax and as was said try to be patient. At this point it is out of your control. It is not worth it to make yourself physically ill. The snake will return if and when it wants to. The majority seem to be found, even after a long while. Rarely do these stories turn out for the worst.


I do not want to sound mean, but this does seem like a bit of an extreme reaction, and you may need help, outside of this board, to relax and get perspective. I see it a lot in my line of work where people worry themselves into the hospital over things they cannot control.

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I have GAD and PTSD, neither of which is very helpful right now.

"Worry" is my middle name.

:(

I have meds and a support dog.
Usually that's enough but this is a tough one to deal with.

[the average doctor is *not* going to be terribly sympathetic because you're stressing over a lost (gasp!) snake]

You guys are pretty much my only support group for this 'issue'.

Take a deep breath my dear. Come on now. Breath in......breath out. There now.

This is a very difficult thing to deal with. Worse I think than if you knew he was dead. At least then you'd have a measure of peace. But never knowing ? Is he hurt ? What if he's sick ? Is he cold ? Does he miss me ? That is the hard part.

There isn't much you can do right now, but comfort yourself with the fact that the odds of his being dead are low. He's got plenty of places to hide, food sources, and water. The difficult part is waiting for him to decide he's ready to come back. It could be weeks, months, possibly even a year or longer. It will take effort on your part. You have to accept that he doesn't want to be found yet. You must willfully let him go about his business until he decides he's ready.

Now, about making yourself so miserable. I know it hurts to have him gone. It hurts as much as loosing a family member, because that's what he is. But grieving yourself sick isn't going to help him or bring him back sooner. As hard as it is hon, you need to find a way to accept that he's not ready to come back yet. Don't give up on him, no. But find a way to deal with his absence. Comfort yourself with the fact that he has to be comfortable, or you'd have found evidence of him by now. And don't despair he won't be able to find his way out of wherever he gets himself. I've seen photographs here of a ball python going straight up a cinderblock wall. I'm not joking.

Yes, it's hard. Goodness knows it's hard. But if you don't find a way to accept this, and you get really sick, then what will happen to your baby ? You already know hubby isn't as worried as you are. He couldn't care less he's gone or if he comes home. If you get sick and end up in the hospital, hubby would never even notice if he came out. For his sake as well as your own you must be strong now.

You know, right now my dog has cancer. He's a puppy mill rescue. We've had him with us for 9 years now, and we love him dearly. But this cancer is fast growing, and incurable. We get to watch our baby waste away. We can see the tumors growing day by day, we watch how hard it is for him to move and now even breathe. And there is nothing we can do to stop it. So yes, I know exactly how you feel about Alice. And yes I know how much it hurts that he's gone. But at least you have the chance he'll come back.

Be strong my love, and know you aren't alone. I am right here with you.

Gale

Quote:

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Originally Posted by angllady2

Take a deep breath my dear. Come on now. Breath in......breath out. There now.

This is a very difficult thing to deal with. Worse I think than if you knew he was dead. At least then you'd have a measure of peace. But never knowing ? Is he hurt ? What if he's sick ? Is he cold ? Does he miss me ? That is the hard part.

There isn't much you can do right now, but comfort yourself with the fact that the odds of his being dead are low. He's got plenty of places to hide, food sources, and water. The difficult part is waiting for him to decide he's ready to come back. It could be weeks, months, possibly even a year or longer. It will take effort on your part. You have to accept that he doesn't want to be found yet. You must willfully let him go about his business until he decides he's ready.

Now, about making yourself so miserable. I know it hurts to have him gone. It hurts as much as loosing a family member, because that's what he is. But grieving yourself sick isn't going to help him or bring him back sooner. As hard as it is hon, you need to find a way to accept that he's not ready to come back yet. Don't give up on him, no. But find a way to deal with his absence. Comfort yourself with the fact that he has to be comfortable, or you'd have found evidence of him by now. And don't despair he won't be able to find his way out of wherever he gets himself. I've seen photographs here of a ball python going straight up a cinderblock wall. I'm not joking.

Yes, it's hard. Goodness knows it's hard. But if you don't find a way to accept this, and you get really sick, then what will happen to your baby ? You already know hubby isn't as worried as you are. He couldn't care less he's gone or if he comes home. If you get sick and end up in the hospital, hubby would never even notice if he came out. For his sake as well as your own you must be strong now.

You know, right now my dog has cancer. He's a puppy mill rescue. We've had him with us for 9 years now, and we love him dearly. But this cancer is fast growing, and incurable. We get to watch our baby waste away. We can see the tumors growing day by day, we watch how hard it is for him to move and now even breathe. And there is nothing we can do to stop it. So yes, I know exactly how you feel about Alice. And yes I know how much it hurts that he's gone. But at least you have the chance he'll come back.

Be strong my love, and know you aren't alone. I am right here with you.

Gale

---

Thank you, Gale.

Two of my rescue dogs passed away within the last year.
[rescuing dogs is my other "thing"] :oops:

Jack made it to 14 before Lyme nephritis destroyed his kidneys.
He had a very happy life, considering.

Phoebe, on the other hand [Jack's niece] was a train wreck from day 1.
She did pretty well for about 7 years but her final two were a never-ending round of immune system issues.
Although she was happy and ate well, she just wasted away and there wasn't a thing we could do about it.

Even so, she was wildly cheery and playful right up until 2 nights before she passed away.

The night before, we had decided to take her to the vet to let her go and the next morning, I found her curled up as though asleep...but she wasn't.

Her sister Pookie has degenerative myelopathy and can't get around very well.
I think I suffer more than she does.
She gets low dose Prednisone for her discs so we're watching her cautiously but hopefully.

She still 'laughs' and wants 'silly rubs' on her face and head and seems otherwise content...but it's hard.

I'm so sorry about your boy.
I've been down that road so many times in the last 40 years that I can find my way, blind-folded.

It never gets "easier" but I'll always, again, as Kipling put it, "Give my heart to a dog, to tear" until I shuffle off my own mortal coils.

It might sound silly but the one thing I did to cope was to put Ozzy in Alice's home.
Alice was annoyed with his 'lack of space' but Ozzy is reveling in it.
[he broke his four month fast so amazingly that's he begging for food every time I walk by, now]

I also wrote on the front "Alice doesn't live here any more".

[I thought maybe jealousy might bring him out]

Silly, I know but I'm trying to cope as best I can.

P.S.

This helped a lot!

I've seen photographs here of a ball python going straight up a cinderblock wall.

My greatest fear is that he fell down the old drystone well under the house.

Before new floors were put in, I went down the trapdoor on a rope into that horrible abyss to rescue a cottontail that had fallen in.

It's at least 10 feet deep and the sides are just field stone laid one upon the other.

I didn't know if he could climb it or not but surely it'd be easier to climb than a flat cinderblock wall!

Because the new flooring is tongue and groove sheeting, there's no way [short of a chainsaw] that I can even look down there, now.

Our connection with animals can go deeper than most people imagine. I won't call you silly for mourning the disappearence of your scalie buddy, if you don't call me silly for the times I've cried over a hermit crab :gj:

I can echo the words of support that people have said already, but it might only offer temporary comfort in this frustrating situation.

When things like that happened to me (not identical, but situations that reflect similar behavior and emotions in myself), I found it was due to feeling like I wasn't in control, and feeling motherly/protective of something, and feeling like I failed. This would get me so wound up that I would get completely emotional over something that was beyond my control. And underneath it all was frustration, because I couldn't fix it, and I felt like it was all my fault that I couldn't fix it. But still I'd keep trying, which was really just beating my head against a wall.

Frustration is our desire to change something. When we can't change it, we become distraught.

There is a lesson here that he is teaching you, a lesson that maybe you needed to experience with full emotions so that you can learn to cope. I used to have very high anxiety, and I have worked with numerous co-workers who have all sorts of issues. My boyfriend's brother-in-law has PTSD as well. So it's something I'm familiar with being around, although most people don't realize how difficult it really can be for you.

Your snake is teaching you that there will be times in life that we cannot change something. As much as we want to, we have to learn to be stronger not by acting, but by waiting. It's the hardest wait in the world. We'll always sit and wonder: "If I did this, maybe I'd find him?!" You'll find yourself second guessing yourself, getting upset, feeling helpless. And you know what? It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to have a moment where you can't fix something, where we need to learn these hard lessons.

It's when we stop focusing on the negative can we start to accept things. Don't accept that he's gone, but you need to accept that he's just beyond your reach.

I'll go a bit fruity on you here, so if this isn't your thing, feel free to disregard... Animals, large and small, mammal or not, all have the ability to sense something beyond the physical sense. Whether it's a sixth sense or something else, they have a way of knowing or acting that is beyond 'logic'. Just like how some dogs find their way home over thousands and thousands of miles. How? Or how stray cats and dogs and birds and everything else will try to flee a city days before a massive earthquake. Just like those animals can show us there's more to them, there's more to your little guy as well. You've had rescues, so you probably know what I'm talking about when I say there's more to them than you can prove with science. People say they lack emotions, but maybe they just aren't listening or as open to it. Who knows...

Point being, if you've experienced something like that, then you know your little guy knows where you can find him. Some times a dog will run loose for a few days just for the sake of being 'free', but then comes home, happy as can be.

Don't give up hope, but neither should you put your energy and emotions into "I've lost him! It's my fault! He's never coming back."

It's okay. You didn't loose him. He was being a snake. Snakes do that. My corn snake escaped and came back with almost a look of: "Oh, you were looking for me?" If you focus on the negative, then negativity is all you will find. Focus on the positive, try to forgive yourself, know that it's okay and these things happen. You still love the snake. He's not gone forever. He's just gone for the moment. Smile. Take a day off from looking for him. Just take a break. It won't feel better overnight, but these are the building blocks where you can start to build yourself back up.

So I'm here to tell you that it's okay. You don't have to worry. Worry won't help him right now. But a calm, level head and taking a moment to yourself will.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vasiliki

Our connection with animals can go deeper than most people imagine. I won't call you silly for mourning the disappearence of your scalie buddy, if you don't call me silly for the times I've cried over a hermit crab :gj:

I can echo the words of support that people have said already, but it might only offer temporary comfort in this frustrating situation.

When things like that happened to me (not identical, but situations that reflect similar behavior and emotions in myself), I found it was due to feeling like I wasn't in control, and feeling motherly/protective of something, and feeling like I failed. This would get me so wound up that I would get completely emotional over something that was beyond my control. And underneath it all was frustration, because I couldn't fix it, and I felt like it was all my fault that I couldn't fix it. But still I'd keep trying, which was really just beating my head against a wall.

Frustration is our desire to change something. When we can't change it, we become distraught.

There is a lesson here that he is teaching you, a lesson that maybe you needed to experience with full emotions so that you can learn to cope. I used to have very high anxiety, and I have worked with numerous co-workers who have all sorts of issues. My boyfriend's brother-in-law has PTSD as well. So it's something I'm familiar with being around, although most people don't realize how difficult it really can be for you.

Your snake is teaching you that there will be times in life that we cannot change something. As much as we want to, we have to learn to be stronger not by acting, but by waiting. It's the hardest wait in the world. We'll always sit and wonder: "If I did this, maybe I'd find him?!" You'll find yourself second guessing yourself, getting upset, feeling helpless. And you know what? It's okay to feel like that. It's okay to have a moment where you can't fix something, where we need to learn these hard lessons.

It's when we stop focusing on the negative can we start to accept things. Don't accept that he's gone, but you need to accept that he's just beyond your reach.

I'll go a bit fruity on you here, so if this isn't your thing, feel free to disregard... Animals, large and small, mammal or not, all have the ability to sense something beyond the physical sense. Whether it's a sixth sense or something else, they have a way of knowing or acting that is beyond 'logic'. Just like how some dogs find their way home over thousands and thousands of miles. How? Or how stray cats and dogs and birds and everything else will try to flee a city days before a massive earthquake. Just like those animals can show us there's more to them, there's more to your little guy as well. You've had rescues, so you probably know what I'm talking about when I say there's more to them than you can prove with science. People say they lack emotions, but maybe they just aren't listening or as open to it. Who knows...

Point being, if you've experienced something like that, then you know your little guy knows where you can find him. Some times a dog will run loose for a few days just for the sake of being 'free', but then comes home, happy as can be.

Don't give up hope, but neither should you put your energy and emotions into "I've lost him! It's my fault! He's never coming back."

It's okay. You didn't loose him. He was being a snake. Snakes do that. My corn snake escaped and came back with almost a look of: "Oh, you were looking for me?" If you focus on the negative, then negativity is all you will find. Focus on the positive, try to forgive yourself, know that it's okay and these things happen. You still love the snake. He's not gone forever. He's just gone for the moment. Smile. Take a day off from looking for him. Just take a break. It won't feel better overnight, but these are the building blocks where you can start to build yourself back up.

So I'm here to tell you that it's okay. You don't have to worry. Worry won't help him right now. But a calm, level head and taking a moment to yourself will.

---

Thank you Danielle.

I don't think you're "fruity" at all.
I could tell stories about animals that would have the BP members banding together to have me committed.

But, that's always the way it's always been with animals and me.
The fastest way to get me fired up is to say "But it's just an animal".
I know different.

[I got it from my gramma and people said she was 'nutz', too] :P

That is what is probably hurting me most...he isn't listening and he isn't 'talking'.

I don't think he wants me to know where he is...at least, for now.

Before, he never 'shut up'.

Mostly he was griping about this house being "too small".

He came from from an 18 inch square 'cubicle' thing to a 40 gallon breeder tank and still didn't feel like he had enough room to stretch out....so I'd put him on my lap, prop my feet up and he'd lay stretched out fully and fall asleep, contented at last.

[and no, the 'too big tank' wasn't stressing him...he was the most mellow, fearless BP ever...apparently too much so]

He wanted more room...and picked a really lousy way to drive the point home.

I sometimes feel mad at him...and then at myself for not 'listening' to him and acting sooner.

I was going to make him a condo like the Boas have.
I watched him sit and stare at Bob roaming around and I'd swear he looked jealous.

But life got in the way and the condos take a good amount of time and money to make and I hadn't gotten around to it.

Thank you for the first part, too.

I am one of those who can never accept what I cannot change.

What if/if only.....ad infinitum.

I will try to accept his lesson.

[and when he comes back, he'll get his stupid condo...with locks that Houdini couldn't pick]

:)

[as for hermit crabs, I can't stand going to the big box store because theirs are never 'happy'. I've seen 'happy' ones at reptile shows but never pet stores..I don't know what the difference is]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Salamander

That is what is probably hurting me most...he isn't listening and he isn't 'talking'.

I don't think he wants me to know where he is...at least, for now.

Before, he never 'shut up'.

Mostly he was griping about this house being "too small".

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Salamander

He wanted more room...and picked a really lousy way to drive the point home.

I sometimes feel mad at him...and then at myself for not 'listening' to him and acting sooner.

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:confused:

For one thing, I don't think you should allow yourself to feel so personally responsible for this. It is hindering not only your search for Alice but your ability to function. Take a step back and don't force yourself to feel guilty for all this.

I know this is a very stressful and heart-wrenching time for you. But I think you ought to relax and breathe as others are telling you.

It might also help if you try not to anthropomorphize your snake. For your sake, try to temporarily tone down the "If I had just gotten him a bigger cage..." thing. I think you and I both know that is a bit of a stretch - you could give him a mansion and he would still look for (and most certainly find) ways to escape. It has nothing to do with space.

I think you need to take a step back and stop tearing the house apart. He definitely will not turn up if you keep turning over all his hiding spots; he'll just move to yet another cozy spot.

PM'ing you, because I'm a nutcase too and won't want to worry people reading this, or have them think I'm crazy :8:

You might as well PM me too. I am always "giving my animals too much credit" and "making them too human". This is me, deal with it.

I talk to each and every one of my snakes, and I will swear in court they talk to me too. I am not joking. My male pastel went on a feeding strike for the breeding season. No big deal. But he got it into his head he did not get enough girlfriends for his manly self, and when everyone else started eating again, he refused.

I would ask him each week if he was ready to eat, and every week he'd look me in the eye and I could hear him saying, "No, not until I get another girlfriend. That darned Kodama had three, and I only got one!" Laugh if you want to. Feel free to call me crazy, it won't be the first time. But it's true. After the last of my non pied girls ovulated, he still would not eat, and he kept giving me that look. Finally I took him out of his tub and sat him down for a talk. I told him, " Look, I know you think this breeding thing isn't fair, and you are right it isn't. However, I'd like to remind you I never intended to bring you home in the first place, but since you've been here I've only ever done my best for you. You know your my favorite male, why else would I get you out all the time ? You also know that I breed for quality babies, and let's face it you are not the best quality pastel. Yes you are more beautiful than when I bought you, but you are still not my ideal pastel and you know it. If it were only me breeding, you wouldn't have had any girl to breed with, but Kyle gave you a shot because he isn't as hung up on quality as I am. Now, Akira just ovulated, and the chances are good you get to be a daddy for me. And I have to admit, I'm kind of excited about it. Maybe one of your babies will be the kind of pastel I'm looking for, stranger things have happened than that. Now, you must get down off your high horse and eat something. You are starting to loose weight, and if you keep it up you won't be ready when the next season rolls around. You know Kyle is set on making a firefly, so he's probably going to ask me to pair you up with Mori when she gets big enough. And he's toying with the idea of making blasts with you and Freckles. So, if you are a good boy, next year you might have three girls too. But you need to eat."

Kyle comes in as I finish my lecture and put him away. And he tells me, "You know that snake cannot understand you, and you sound like a complete idiot talking to him like that, right ?" I told him to mind his own business, and he knew I was crazy when he married me. Feeding day was two days later, and guess who ate not just one rat but two ?

So sure, I'm crazy. Certifiably nuts. Gone round the bend, cheese slid off my cracker, porch light is on but nobody's home, toys in the attic, absolutely bonkers, utterly mad, however you like to say it. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are.

Gale

Have you considered hiring a pest control person? They have a lot of neat tricks and tools for finding animals. I am sure one would take a look for whatever the hourly rate is. Also consider a plumber.

Gale; I love it :D I've been talking to animals since I was a kid, haha.

I like to think of it like a religion. I don't talk about it much. I don't force it on other people. I don't have to share it with everyone. Not everyone has to understand it. And as long as I'm free to do my own thing, we'll get along just fine :gj: Not everyone believes in God, not everyone believes in Science, and sure as heck, not everyone believes the things I believe. But the world keeps spinning, and as far as I'm concerned, if talking to animals is the most people will judge me for then life can't be all that bad

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jinx667

Have you considered hiring a pest control person? They have a lot of neat tricks and tools for finding animals. I am sure one would take a look for whatever the hourly rate is. Also consider a plumber.

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That is a fantastic idea (as long as it's not Billy the Exterminator). Good call!

When i first was getting into snakes i had an escapee. I put out a hide and some food for him over night. My room mate called me up a few days later and said he was going to do some laundry. I said OK, but make sure and check around the drier so he didn't get overheated if he happened to be around the drier. When he pulled the drier away from the wall it also pulled the drier vent tube out of the floor and for some reason he didn't fix it. I came home several hours later and saw the drier pulled away from the wall and a large hole going under my house. I quickly taped the hole up. For weeks i kept a hide with heat out and every few days a frozen thawed, but couldn't find him. That is when my neighbor found my snake dead inside the back of her drier. I didn't blame my room mate because it was my fault that the snake escaped in the first place. I almost think if i would of left the hole untaped he would have came back out :please: I was majorly let down but dont give your hopes up. I once found my first snake in the back of an 18 pack of emptly beer bottles that were about to be taken out too. Check everywhere! And try not and fall asleep with your snakes like i used to!

Just make sure there is no escape routes out of your house and what not and things should be OK.

If you are fruity, I must be fruity too. I've cried over tarantulas. Right now my dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfuction is nearing the point where we'll need to put her down and my beloved Cyclura, Kismet, has a bacterial infection that might be just an oviduct and I'm praying is not related to an egg since she was gravid.

I had a missing blue phase iguana for two weeks. I know how hard this is and I hope and pray you find your baby.

And I don't think you are overreacting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jinx667

Have you considered hiring a pest control person? They have a lot of neat tricks and tools for finding animals. I am sure one would take a look for whatever the hourly rate is. Also consider a plumber.

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Huh, that might actually work... just don't spend an unreasonable amount of money.

I have been following your other thread since it started. I am still pulling for a reappearance as the weather begins to cool in search of warm places. I may not feel animals such as snake communicate with us in the way that you do, but it is nice to see someone who cares about their animals so much. :)

They're family. That's that.
With something like this, it's hard when people tell you to control yourself. Or that it's not worth it to make yourself worry. It implies that you can just flip the caring switch on and off. Not so.

x2 on the pest control person.

Most people outside of a forum like this would not be able to sympathize, yet if it was a dog.. (don't get me wrong, love dogs)


I can't imagine what you must be going through :( That's your family, you're concerned about; completely understandable. Hopefully he's just found a place he really likes and is camping out for a bit, but at least if you're seeing rodents you're seeing signs he has something of a food supply (although concern that he's too "soft" for real-life hunting is legitimate).


I hope he comes home to you soon, hang in there and try not to let the worry drown you. He's going to need you at your A-game after his big adventure.

One of my best friends who was my room mate and co-worker has been missing for a week now. I'm a mess......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by angllady2

You might as well PM me too. I am always "giving my animals too much credit" and "making them too human". This is me, deal with it.

I talk to each and every one of my snakes, and I will swear in court they talk to me too. I am not joking. My male pastel went on a feeding strike for the breeding season. No big deal. But he got it into his head he did not get enough girlfriends for his manly self, and when everyone else started eating again, he refused.

I would ask him each week if he was ready to eat, and every week he'd look me in the eye and I could hear him saying, "No, not until I get another girlfriend. That darned Kodama had three, and I only got one!" Laugh if you want to. Feel free to call me crazy, it won't be the first time. But it's true. After the last of my non pied girls ovulated, he still would not eat, and he kept giving me that look. Finally I took him out of his tub and sat him down for a talk. I told him, " Look, I know you think this breeding thing isn't fair, and you are right it isn't. However, I'd like to remind you I never intended to bring you home in the first place, but since you've been here I've only ever done my best for you. You know your my favorite male, why else would I get you out all the time ? You also know that I breed for quality babies, and let's face it you are not the best quality pastel. Yes you are more beautiful than when I bought you, but you are still not my ideal pastel and you know it. If it were only me breeding, you wouldn't have had any girl to breed with, but Kyle gave you a shot because he isn't as hung up on quality as I am. Now, Akira just ovulated, and the chances are good you get to be a daddy for me. And I have to admit, I'm kind of excited about it. Maybe one of your babies will be the kind of pastel I'm looking for, stranger things have happened than that. Now, you must get down off your high horse and eat something. You are starting to loose weight, and if you keep it up you won't be ready when the next season rolls around. You know Kyle is set on making a firefly, so he's probably going to ask me to pair you up with Mori when she gets big enough. And he's toying with the idea of making blasts with you and Freckles. So, if you are a good boy, next year you might have three girls too. But you need to eat."

Kyle comes in as I finish my lecture and put him away. And he tells me, "You know that snake cannot understand you, and you sound like a complete idiot talking to him like that, right ?" I told him to mind his own business, and he knew I was crazy when he married me. Feeding day was two days later, and guess who ate not just one rat but two ?

So sure, I'm crazy. Certifiably nuts. Gone round the bend, cheese slid off my cracker, porch light is on but nobody's home, toys in the attic, absolutely bonkers, utterly mad, however you like to say it. But I'll tell you a secret, all the best people are.

Gale

---

I really dig you.

:number1:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brokeballer

When i first was getting into snakes i had an escapee. I put out a hide and some food for him over night. My room mate called me up a few days later and said he was going to do some laundry. I said OK, but make sure and check around the drier so he didn't get overheated if he happened to be around the drier. When he pulled the drier away from the wall it also pulled the drier vent tube out of the floor and for some reason he didn't fix it. I came home several hours later and saw the drier pulled away from the wall and a large hole going under my house. I quickly taped the hole up. For weeks i kept a hide with heat out and every few days a frozen thawed, but couldn't find him. That is when my neighbor found my snake dead inside the back of her drier. I didn't blame my room mate because it was my fault that the snake escaped in the first place. I almost think if i would of left the hole untaped he would have came back out :please: I was majorly let down but dont give your hopes up. I once found my first snake in the back of an 18 pack of emptly beer bottles that were about to be taken out too. Check everywhere! And try not and fall asleep with your snakes like i used to!

Just make sure there is no escape routes out of your house and what not and things should be OK.

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That's just it...this old place is full of 'escape routes'.

I have 4' resident Black Rat Snake who comes and goes as it pleases.

The last appearance was while I in the bathroom and it slithered around me for a while, finally coiling around my ankles and resting on my feet before it eventually went behind the bathtub.

[apparently it 'likes' me because when it appears to hubby, it usually drops down in his face from a porch rafter or something and nearly scares him to death]

A lovely Milk Snake makes an occasional visit.

They can get in and out of here with no effort at all.
[and they help keep the mice down so they're very welcome, here]

I'm sorry about your poor snake.

I didn't do laundry for over a week, fearing he might be in the washer or drier but we pulled them out and saw no sign of him.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rebelrachel13

:confused:

For one thing, I don't think you should allow yourself to feel so personally responsible for this. It is hindering not only your search for Alice but your ability to function. Take a step back and don't force yourself to feel guilty for all this.

I know this is a very stressful and heart-wrenching time for you. But I think you ought to relax and breathe as others are telling you.

It might also help if you try not to anthropomorphize your snake. For your sake, try to temporarily tone down the "If I had just gotten him a bigger cage..." thing. I think you and I both know that is a bit of a stretch - you could give him a mansion and he would still look for (and most certainly find) ways to escape. It has nothing to do with space.

I think you need to take a step back and stop tearing the house apart. He definitely will not turn up if you keep turning over all his hiding spots; he'll just move to yet another cozy spot.

---

I have ceased destroying the house.
[I'm so tired]

I'm not 'anthropomorphizing' my snake.

I know the little jerk and he was blistering jealous of all the attention the Boa got.

He obviously forgot all the attention he got when he came here.
He spent more time being cuddled than all the other snakes put together but they didn't get snotty attitudes because of that.

[well, Iggy's kinda pissy about not being loved up quite as much as she used to be but a fat juicy rat pacifies her indignation] ;]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Really

If you are fruity, I must be fruity too. I've cried over tarantulas. Right now my dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfuction is nearing the point where we'll need to put her down and my beloved Cyclura, Kismet, has a bacterial infection that might be just an oviduct and I'm praying is not related to an egg since she was gravid.

I had a missing blue phase iguana for two weeks. I know how hard this is and I hope and pray you find your baby.

And I don't think you are overreacting.

---

Gosh, I'm sorry about your babies.....:(

Have you tried meds or supplements for the dog?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Poseidon

They're family. That's that.
With something like this, it's hard when people tell you to control yourself. Or that it's not worth it to make yourself worry. It implies that you can just flip the caring switch on and off. Not so.

x2 on the pest control person.

---

My caring switch is broken.
It's permanently "on".

I've tried to be stoic/indifferent/patient/"zen"/existential/concerned but not terrified/hopeful/confident/etc etc etc.

I'm sorry but I can't be what I'm not.

I care.
I love.
I worry.

Ii can't really control any of that and will not feel at peace until I know where he is, one way or the other.

It's just how I'm built.

Perhaps a little 'back story' will explain me better;

When I was a kid, my dad always had dogs.
Naturally, I'd love the dogs and he'd tell me that so-and-so was 'my dog'.

Then we'd go away on vacation and when we got back, the dog would be gone.
He'd say "maybe it ran away' or 'somebody must've stolen him'.

Come to find out, years later, he was having people who'd bought those hunting dogs come get them while we were gone so as not to have me 'make a scene' over 'my dog' being taken away.

The worst time involved a Husky named Wolfie.
I was around 5 or so and loved that dog madly and we played together all the time.
Yes, I came back from VA Beach and he was gone...house, bowl, toys and all.
"Stolen".

As always, I searched and searched for him, just like all the others and one day my mom and I were downtown and there was Wolfie, tied to a lamp post!

I squealed with joy and he howled with delight.
We'd found each other again!

I will never forget my mom dragging me, screaming and crying, away from him as he shrieked his frustration of the leash that kept him from following me, she, telling me "that's not Wolfie!".
[like I didn't know him and he didn't know me]

He too had been given away while I was gone.

I have severe 'issues' with 'missing pets' and this is the first time in my adult life that I've truly had one be 'missing'...and I know for sure he was not stolen or given away but my drive to search endlessly is apparently still as strong as ever.

All of the above is what makes me so obsessive about all of my pets.

I worry that if I blink or turn away, they could be "gone".

Parents can deeply scar their kids, believing that they're 'doing them a kindness'.

I cringe when I hear a parent tell a kid their hamster or dog 'went to a beautiful farm in Vermont" instead of telling them the hard but infinitely kinder truth.

:(


I'm a really 'damaged' person, as far as my animals go but I can't go back and avert the damage done to me so I have to deal with it as best I can.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Raymei

Most people outside of a forum like this would not be able to sympathize, yet if it was a dog.. (don't get me wrong, love dogs)


I can't imagine what you must be going through :( That's your family, you're concerned about; completely understandable. Hopefully he's just found a place he really likes and is camping out for a bit, but at least if you're seeing rodents you're seeing signs he has something of a food supply (although concern that he's too "soft" for real-life hunting is legitimate).


I hope he comes home to you soon, hang in there and try not to let the worry drown you. He's going to need you at your A-game after his big adventure.

---

Along with the mice, there's a rat running in the walls.
According to what I've found on Google, it appears to be a "Cotton rat" which is theoretically an herbivore....but it's big and I dearly hope it never finds Alice, just in case it's not an herbivore.

If Ozzy the 'Bee ran into it, I know he'd do his savage level best to devour it but Alice isn't at all like Ozzy.
He's not much of a 'killer'.
He likes his thawed mice laid quietly in front of him...no zombie dance or other unnecessary movement.

That big rat would scare him to death.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brokeballer

one of my best friends who was my room mate and co-worker has been missing for a week now. I'm a mess......

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omg!

:o

Goodness! I hope you don't take it personally, but you had awful parents!

How cruel of them to do that to you. No wonder you are a mess now with Alice gone.

And I know exactly how you feel. You can't simply stop worrying, that's impossible. He's your baby for crying out loud. Would they tell a parent who had lost a child to stop worrying ? I think not!

The only comfort I can offer you is, you are not alone in this. I feel for you so much, he might as well be my snake. I spent an hour last night making each one of mine promise me they would never do something like this, I couldn't handle it. And by the way, Yakul my hyper sensitive pied boy, told me to tell you he's sorry and he hopes Alice comes home soon. I upset him so badly telling him your story, he didn't want to eat last night.

So, together we will wait, together we will hope, together we will cry a little now and then, and together we will celebrate like we won the world series when he comes home. :blowkiss:

Gale

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vasiliki

I'll go a bit fruity on you here, so if this isn't your thing, feel free to disregard... Animals, large and small, mammal or not, all have the ability to sense something beyond the physical sense. Whether it's a sixth sense or something else, they have a way of knowing or acting that is beyond 'logic'. Just like how some dogs find their way home over thousands and thousands of miles. How? Or how stray cats and dogs and birds and everything else will try to flee a city days before a massive earthquake. Just like those animals can show us there's more to them, there's more to your little guy as well. You've had rescues, so you probably know what I'm talking about when I say there's more to them than you can prove with science. People say they lack emotions, but maybe they just aren't listening or as open to it. Who knows...

---

It's true, sometimes snakes do inexplicable things. I had a garter snake get into the basement, and I wasn't able to catch it (it darted under the washer, and then disappeared). A few days later, as I was sitting on the couch, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye, and looked up. The garter snake had glided up over a box, and was sitting there in plain view, staring at me. It allowed me to pick it up gently with little fuss--I released it outside and snapped a few photos. It was perfectly healthy, and took off quickly once released. I didn't even get musked on that time, lol.

What possessed a wild animal to approach me openly in that fashion? To overcome all of its instincts and allow me to see it, and then pick it up?

It wasn't the first time. An escaped baby mourning gecko approached my husband the same way--it actually climbed onto the arm of the couch where he was resting his elbow!

He will come back when realizes that he needs your help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by angllady2

Goodness! I hope you don't take it personally, but you had awful parents!

How cruel of them to do that to you. No wonder you are a mess now with Alice gone.

And I know exactly how you feel. You can't simply stop worrying, that's impossible. He's your baby for crying out loud. Would they tell a parent who had lost a child to stop worrying ? I think not!

The only comfort I can offer you is, you are not alone in this. I feel for you so much, he might as well be my snake. I spent an hour last night making each one of mine promise me they would never do something like this, I couldn't handle it. And by the way, Yakul my hyper sensitive pied boy, told me to tell you he's sorry and he hopes Alice comes home soon. I upset him so badly telling him your story, he didn't want to eat last night.

So, together we will wait, together we will hope, together we will cry a little now and then, and together we will celebrate like we won the world series when he comes home. :blowkiss:

Gale

---

Please don't upset your Pied!
I hope he eats tonight....:(

That's just a tiny glimpse of my folks.

There's more and it's much worse.

But I have to love them...they're my family.

[at least I learned to practice the loyalty they preached]

Thanks Gale.

You're my rock in this storm.

[and tell Yakul to eat!!!]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

It's true, sometimes snakes do inexplicable things. I had a garter snake get into the basement, and I wasn't able to catch it (it darted under the washer, and then disappeared). A few days later, as I was sitting on the couch, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye, and looked up. The garter snake had glided up over a box, and was sitting there in plain view, staring at me. It allowed me to pick it up gently with little fuss--I released it outside and snapped a few photos. It was perfectly healthy, and took off quickly once released. I didn't even get musked on that time, lol.

What possessed a wild animal to approach me openly in that fashion? To overcome all of its instincts and allow me to see it, and then pick it up?

It wasn't the first time. An escaped baby mourning gecko approached my husband the same way--it actually climbed onto the arm of the couch where he was resting his elbow!

He will come back when realizes that he needs your help.

---

In hindsight, I should've picked up the black 'ankle snake' and kept him as a 'replacement'.

Obviously, he had no problems with hanging out with me for a while.

:)

[usually the wild things that come to me are either very wounded or dying...most of the time, I can get them better and they go free...sometimes, they just get a warm place to pass away with somebody who grieves for them...maybe that's all they wanted]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Salamander

My caring switch is broken.
It's permanently "on".

I've tried to be stoic/indifferent/patient/"zen"/existential/concerned but not terrified/hopeful/confident/etc etc etc.

I'm sorry but I can't be what I'm not.

I care.
I love.
I worry.

Ii can't really control any of that and will not feel at peace until I know where he is, one way or the other.

It's just how I'm built.

Perhaps a little 'back story' will explain me better;

When I was a kid, my dad always had dogs.
Naturally, I'd love the dogs and he'd tell me that so-and-so was 'my dog'.

Then we'd go away on vacation and when we got back, the dog would be gone.
He'd say "maybe it ran away' or 'somebody must've stolen him'.

Come to find out, years later, he was having people who'd bought those hunting dogs come get them while we were gone so as not to have me 'make a scene' over 'my dog' being taken away.

The worst time involved a Husky named Wolfie.
I was around 5 or so and loved that dog madly and we played together all the time.
Yes, I came back from VA Beach and he was gone...house, bowl, toys and all.
"Stolen".

As always, I searched and searched for him, just like all the others and one day my mom and I were downtown and there was Wolfie, tied to a lamp post!

I squealed with joy and he howled with delight.
We'd found each other again!

I will never forget my mom dragging me, screaming and crying, away from him as he shrieked his frustration of the leash that kept him from following me, she, telling me "that's not Wolfie!".
[like I didn't know him and he didn't know me]

He too had been given away while I was gone.

I have severe 'issues' with 'missing pets' and this is the first time in my adult life that I've truly had one be 'missing'...and I know for sure he was not stolen or given away but my drive to search endlessly is apparently still as strong as ever.

All of the above is what makes me so obsessive about all of my pets.

I worry that if I blink or turn away, they could be "gone".

Parents can deeply scar their kids, believing that they're 'doing them a kindness'.

I cringe when I hear a parent tell a kid their hamster or dog 'went to a beautiful farm in Vermont" instead of telling them the hard but infinitely kinder truth.

:(


I'm a really 'damaged' person, as far as my animals go but I can't go back and avert the damage done to me so I have to deal with it as best I can.

---

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

I do believe in fate, and I honestly believe that experiences help mold us into the people we were made to be. I think your those experiences made you into the heavily caring person you were made to be. So really damaged is not how you should see it ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Salamander

In hindsight, I should've picked up the black 'ankle snake' and kept him as a 'replacement'.

---

Nah. Perhaps he was happy to spend time with you, because he felt that you wouldn't. He obviously enjoys living in your home, and helping control your rodent issue, lol.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Poseidon

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

I do believe in fate, and I honestly believe that experiences help mold us into the people we were made to be. I think your those experiences made you into the heavily caring person you were made to be. So really damaged is not how you should see it ;)

---

I wouldn't trade 'who I am' for anything in the world.
I like being me, 'crazy critter lady' and all.

:)

[if not for all the crap I endured, I wouldn't be as empathetic as I am and that's usually good thing]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by WingedWolfPsion

Nah. Perhaps he was happy to spend time with you, because he felt that you wouldn't. He obviously enjoys living in your home, and helping control your rodent issue, lol.

---

Well, I have to admit that I did "warn him" about the neighbor and ask him to kindly stay here rather than wandering about.

The neighbor weed-whacks every snake he sees.

[but has promised to try and catch Alice if he comes across him]

It was still pretty freaky to have a wild snake coiled around my ankles.
He was twining about them, much like a cat, until he settled onto my feet.

He is so beautiful....all sleek, graceful and shiny with such an elegant, whip-like tail.

[I've named him "Slinky" whether he knows it or not]

:D

I'm kinda jealous. I'm not really sure on the pets talking back, and maybe that is why they don't. I do know there are thinks we can't explain. I talk to mine all the time though, even without responses. So in a way I guess I am even more crazy.... I still believe he will come back to you some day! Try not to stress too much and give him time.

You know love, I had an idea last night.

If your friend the ratsnake comes back, tell him about Alice running away, and ask him to keep an eye out for him. If you can't find Alice, maybe another snake can. :weirdface

Gale

Quote:

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Originally Posted by angllady2

You know love, I had an idea last night.

If your friend the ratsnake comes back, tell him about Alice running away, and ask him to keep an eye out for him. If you can't find Alice, maybe another snake can. :weirdface

Gale

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Actually, I did do that.

And he's BACK!