Down and out.

Have a doctor check your thyroid hormone levels. I spent a year on anti-depressants and they weren't helping. I wasn't interested in anything, I had no energy or motivation. The only reason I would get out of bed was because I had to go to work. I finally went to a different Dr. who decided to check my thyroid levels and turns out mine was way low. Turns out depression, lack of intrest and lack of energy are some of the symptoms of an inactive thyroid (hypo-thyroidism). Look it up on WebMD and see if this might be part of the problem...


Rob

Well it took me a while to think about what I wanted to write to you. I still am not sure that I will get my point across.

First of all changing friends...sometimes in life I do believe that you have to get away from ppl that might not be good for you. However in your case it sounds like the person you need to get away from is the ex girlfriend.

Stay positive....and let me tell you it is much harder to do then to say. Before you go to bed each night...talk about your situation....I am not saying pray...but talk to a higher power. Sounds stupid but actually talking about it seems to make you more clear in regards to what is going on. When you talk about it...be honest (no one is there to hear you). And when you talk about it...try to make yourself speak positive.

Try to find a counsler....trust me I use to think this was a bunch of crap....however...it does help if you find the right one. And don't be worried to change if you don't like the one you have. There are a few out there that are pretty koo koo ca choo....so if you don't mesh with one...get another. If you don't have the money....there are counseling agencies that work with you. Look at it this way....it CANNOT hurt.

In regards to medication....you do not have to have a chemical imbalance. Through life sometimes there are times that we as humans have a hard time dealing with. Doesn't make us chemically imbalanced...just makes us human. As we mature our bodies change and sometimes it is harder to rebound from things. Now trust me on this...I am 43 yrs old...and use to think ppl taking meds were ridiculous....just snap the heck out of it. Well then came my issue....mind you I am a pretty typical girl...I have a great husband a great son, a great house...etc. I thought I was having a heat attack...mind you...I was in great shape too. This started happening 3 years ago when my hubby went to Iraq. You COULD NOT convince me that this was a mental thing. It took them 3 years and dozens of specialist and tests to finally convince me it was not a physical thing. It was anxiety. Well....I am now 6 months into taking a pill for this. No chemical imbalance....just anxiety. I still sometimes go back to ...no way this is the problem. But I have to admitt since taking the pill each day I have had no more....Oh my god I am having a heart attack. The reason for this story is to show you....even the most balanced ppl need some help sometime. Its ok...we are human and NOT perfect. We just sometimes need help. Depression can cause all kinds of other problems as well if not handled. I pretty much blew up my digestive system due to the anxiety. Don't let that happen to you...deal with your situation and you will be smarter and better in the future.

Ok...hope this helps you put some stuff in perspective. Take responsiblity for your depression...remember only you can control your emotions.

I went through a stage of depression already that lasted for a very long time. I used to have thoughts of ending it all. Not to kill myself mind you, but to just make everything go away. I sought the help of a counselor and a psychiatrist. I am on meds for the depression and I have never looked back. There is no shame in seeking help and to have to possibly take meds for a while to get yourself back to where you need to be. Everyone has given you great advice here. Ultimately, you are in control of what happens here and you have some decisions to make.

You obviously are hurt by some act that your girlfriend did and you are emotionally crushed at this point and temporarily depressed. That she is still around and urging you to take antidepressants would indicate that you really would like to work things out with her. So you must either decide to work things out or move on. Either way your zest for life will eventually return.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BPelizabeth

Well it took me a while to think about what I wanted to write to you. I still am not sure that I will get my point across.

First of all changing friends...sometimes in life I do believe that you have to get away from ppl that might not be good for you. However in your case it sounds like the person you need to get away from is the ex girlfriend.

Stay positive....and let me tell you it is much harder to do then to say. Before you go to bed each night...talk about your situation....I am not saying pray...but talk to a higher power. Sounds stupid but actually talking about it seems to make you more clear in regards to what is going on. When you talk about it...be honest (no one is there to hear you). And when you talk about it...try to make yourself speak positive.

Try to find a counsler....trust me I use to think this was a bunch of crap....however...it does help if you find the right one. And don't be worried to change if you don't like the one you have. There are a few out there that are pretty koo koo ca choo....so if you don't mesh with one...get another. If you don't have the money....there are counseling agencies that work with you. Look at it this way....it CANNOT hurt.

In regards to medication....you do not have to have a chemical imbalance. Through life sometimes there are times that we as humans have a hard time dealing with. Doesn't make us chemically imbalanced...just makes us human. As we mature our bodies change and sometimes it is harder to rebound from things. Now trust me on this...I am 43 yrs old...and use to think ppl taking meds were ridiculous....just snap the heck out of it. Well then came my issue....mind you I am a pretty typical girl...I have a great husband a great son, a great house...etc. I thought I was having a heat attack...mind you...I was in great shape too. This started happening 3 years ago when my hubby went to Iraq. You COULD NOT convince me that this was a mental thing. It took them 3 years and dozens of specialist and tests to finally convince me it was not a physical thing. It was anxiety. Well....I am now 6 months into taking a pill for this. No chemical imbalance....just anxiety. I still sometimes go back to ...no way this is the problem. But I have to admitt since taking the pill each day I have had no more....Oh my god I am having a heart attack. The reason for this story is to show you....even the most balanced ppl need some help sometime. Its ok...we are human and NOT perfect. We just sometimes need help. Depression can cause all kinds of other problems as well if not handled. I pretty much blew up my digestive system due to the anxiety. Don't let that happen to you...deal with your situation and you will be smarter and better in the future.

Ok...hope this helps you put some stuff in perspective. Take responsiblity for your depression...remember only you can control your emotions.

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That's great courage shown Michelle.

She starts with a great point about friends. Friends are often a huge influence in our lives and should be changed if that is negative.

The second point is to talk about it. It doesn't matter who you talk about it to. It may help just to say it aloud to yourself. The point is to get someone else involved, anybody. Tell a bum who you see every three months, just tell anyone. If someone starts expecting something from you, you will deliver.

A counselor is just someone who listens, they don't need a special title. It really doesn't matter who this person is. It could be a brother, sister, cousin, distant aunt, great-great uncle... Or a stranger who cares about your well being. Tell your story to someone who truely cares and it will make all the difference in the world.

Thank you for all your replies everyone. I just am still not sure anything will help. To make a point, this is NOT over the girlfriend. This is over the life altering decision she made, as well as all the little stuff that has built up over the years.

I am just not sure what to do anymore. Nothing seems to help. To those who said check my thyroid etc. That was already done a year ago or so when I started to get this bad.

I have talked to plenty of people and just don't like what they have to say. To that effect, yes I am not telling everything. If I did, a lot more of you would be saying things I don't like. Also, some of the reasons I would be hesitant to leave the GF are better left to QT or unsaid.

And BG, if I could afford a vacation, I would take one. I used up all my vacation time working a 2nd job, and when my gf was in the hospital anyway.

To the people who offered to hook me up with chicks, (sorry I just read like a novels worth of posts and i just woke up and don't remember who said it) I wouldn't find one that I was happy with.

Thanks everyone for trying to help.

My very first love CRUSHED me when he broke up with me. I was a walking zombie, I lost tons of weight because I couldn't eat. I took sleeping pills when I didn't have to work, so that I could just sleep away my days. I found no joy in ANYTHING.

Then one day, a very wise person told me "depression cannot hit a moving target". In other words - MAKE yourself get out and do things, stay busy, even when you don't want to. For me, it was volunteering in my community. I'd wake up days and NOT want to go and fulfill my obligation of volunteering, but I kept at it. I volunteered my BUTT off - and you know what? During that time, I learned to love myself. I came out of that funk, and I grew from that experience. I learned that the next time a relationship didn't work out, I'd be fine. Because I really do like the person that I am, and I LOVE giving my time to others who are less fortunate than myself. While I received compliments for giving my time, there really was a selfish motive behind it - I did it, because it made me feel like I had worth. And I knew that I was making a difference in people's lives.

In Atlanta we have a volunteer organization called Hands On Atlanta, which has volunteer opportunities all over the city. From mentoring a child, to helping drive loved ones to see their incarcerated loved ones (often HOURS away) through a church sponsored program, to cleaning up someone's yard. I also became a "buddy" to a person with HIV/AIDS. After he lost his battle with AIDS, it was very hard to get another buddy, but I did. And lost her as well. But I know that my non-judgemental friendship made a difference in their lives.

These days I volunteer with Canine Assistants that trains service dogs for the physically disabled. In fact, I have a dog laying at my feet right now that will go to work with me tomorrow to get work place experience before he's placed.

I'm very sorry that you're dealing with these struggles in your life right now - but I think if you practice "depression can't hit a moving target", you'll start to feel better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by stormwulf133

To make a point, this is NOT over the girlfriend. This is over the life altering decision she made, as well as all the little stuff that has built up over the years.

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I'm not going to pretend that I know you. The statement I quoted above does prove that it has to do with her. I don't care how small you may want to make it appear, the only thing that has that much control of our lives is the decisions and opinions of the ones we love. The fact that you still take care of your animals, as minimal as that may be, is proof of that.

I don't think a vacation is going to solve your problems, you've probably been on some sort of mental vacation for awhile. I also don't think a random chick will do any good, it will probably make things worse since you do care about the girl you see yourself in a relationship with.

I know you're holding back on a lot of your true feelings. You may not be ready to share them with anyone. I will provide you with an unjudging ear if you want to work anything out. Send me a PM. I promise I do understand some of it, just maybe not all of it at this point.

What can I say...

About your girl friend either works things out or move on, the longer you stay in the "what do I do about her" stage, the longer you will feel down, and that feeling will continue to grow more and more the longer you stay like that.

As per deppression. My mothers family suffers from deppression, Mine have started to surface in the more recent years. I have learned to cope with it without prescriptions for the most part. For some reason sometimes when I argue with my GF, it will surface and make me cry for no real reason. To me it seems that the person you realy care about makes it surface the most.

I used to be an avid gamer too, video games were my life so of speak. But as I started to grow older in the recent years, I have grown out of them, not by choise, it just happened.... I dont have much interest in video games, unless there is a realy good game I realy want to play. The last game I played was Gears Of War 2, I havent touched my xbox in months after that. I was always more of a PC gamer, I used to MAKE a new PC every year no joke! My last computer is 3 years old. I also have a few Xbox and PC games that I havent finished, but I dont think that has nothing to do with depression, I have just lost interest in video games for the most part. I do want to play Diablo 3 though ;)

What ever it is thats making you deppressed, you need to get rid of it from your life... or it will bring deppression to everything else in your life. I've been there. I lost appetite for a year, I would even throw up water sometimes, not that I wanted to, I was just so deppresed. I quit my job back then and left school for a while, until I recovered. Now I feel great, yes Sometimes I will feel deppressed and there is nothing wrong with letting a few tears run down your face, but just dont let it affect your life, just get up and wash your face after. I used to stare at the mirror in the restroom after washing my face and say "you will not bring me down (insert a few bad words here)..."

As for doctors and prescriptions... Well I'll just say that they didnt work for me and that kind of thing wasnt for me. But hey everyone is different, maybe It will work for you. :gj:

Well I could go on about this, but that pretty much sums it up, hope it helps... :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rabernet

My very first love CRUSHED me when he broke up with me. I was a walking zombie, I lost tons of weight because I couldn't eat. I took sleeping pills when I didn't have to work, so that I could just sleep away my days. I found no joy in ANYTHING.

Then one day, a very wise person told me "depression cannot hit a moving target". In other words - MAKE yourself get out and do things, stay busy, even when you don't want to. For me, it was volunteering in my community. I'd wake up days and NOT want to go and fulfill my obligation of volunteering, but I kept at it. I volunteered my BUTT off - and you know what? During that time, I learned to love myself. I came out of that funk, and I grew from that experience. I learned that the next time a relationship didn't work out, I'd be fine. Because I really do like the person that I am, and I LOVE giving my time to others who are less fortunate than myself. While I received compliments for giving my time, there really was a selfish motive behind it - I did it, because it made me feel like I had worth. And I knew that I was making a difference in people's lives.

In Atlanta we have a volunteer organization called Hands On Atlanta, which has volunteer opportunities all over the city. From mentoring a child, to helping drive loved ones to see their incarcerated loved ones (often HOURS away) through a church sponsored program, to cleaning up someone's yard. I also became a "buddy" to a person with HIV/AIDS. After he lost his battle with AIDS, it was very hard to get another buddy, but I did. And lost her as well. But I know that my non-judgemental friendship made a difference in their lives.

These days I volunteer with Canine Assistants that trains service dogs for the physically disabled. In fact, I have a dog laying at my feet right now that will go to work with me tomorrow to get work place experience before he's placed.

I'm very sorry that you're dealing with these struggles in your life right now - but I think if you practice "depression can't hit a moving target", you'll start to feel better.

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Great information Robin, really.

This fight plan would take a serious commitment on behalf of the fighter. You would be deciding to face this challenge head on, alone. There is nothing wrong with choosing to have some support with you for this battle though. People around you care about you so make the best decision for yourself while including those people.