Having worked with at risk kids for a long time I'll share some of my thoughts on the video. I don't think this snippet is a reflection of how these discussions with mom generally go. I think she was on her best behavior for the camera. I guess I didn't really feel like she validating what he was saying. She was explaining but never really said yeah I probably elbowed you harder than I meant and I am sorry. If kids never hear us apologize or admit mistakes they never will. That kid knew mom was showing for the camera so he let it all out. Watch the way he reacts when he slapped her. He expected it to come right back but took the chance. He also keeps repeating how do you feel which tells me mom has taken that action to him before as well as telling him to shut up etc... I truely wouldn't even consider this kid hardcore. I'll make some assumptions (I know) but having your sister die and mom not really listening to you and possibly taking her grief out on you (not intentionally) can make a kid very frustrated and start acting up. To be honest the elbow issue wasn't really the issue it was just the spark that lit the fire. Some may think getting your "feelings" out is a waste of time but his kid has a lot to say and unload. Keeping those feelings in because noone is listening is just like a pressure cooker and when he finally has stuffed enough he is going to blow with no control. The talking is relieve some of the pressure and hopefully start emptying it out. It would be very difficult for mom to process with this kid about his behaviors if she is exhibiting the same behaviors. If she tried without admitting she has made mistakes all that is going to happen is he is going to resent her and think her a liar and hypocrite. I think if this mom and son had some good family therapy (some therapist are very bad) they would end up just fine but both are going to have to change behaviors and communicate much better.

Each child responds to different ways of child rearing etc... What works for one may not work for another. Some things that generally help almost all though is consistency. Stay consistent and follow through. Don't make threats you have no intention of following through with. Hold them accountable for thier behaviors. Most kids (I'm talking under 13) will tell you want punishments work best if asked when you aren't punishing them. Communication and explaining why their behaviors are unacceptable and having them explain it. There are a lot of techniques that one could use but getting them to explain what they did wrong why it was wrong and how they could have done things differently helps alot. As far as timeouts go they can be very effective if you stick with it and process with them afterwards when they are "wore" out. Some take longer than others but younger kids if they are raised with timeouts generally accept them. There is an age where you are wasting your time as they are too old for timeouts. Trying timeouts with a 13 who has never had them and is ODD seldom is effective. Let them experience natural consequences for their behaviors. I can't tell you how many parents bail their kids out of consequences or just don't follow through with them. I could ramble on but will leave it at this. Most troubled kids I have worked with I would guess 90% of their problem was home enviroment. Those with true mental illnesses such as bi-polor, autism, manic depression, severe depression etc... need different treatments that may require meds. I don't necessarily see ADHD or ODD as mental illnesses although I have had a select few that were so ADHD that they required meds. One quick thing on meds. If the meds are making them zombies or overall changing their personalities then they need to try something else. The core personality shouldn't be effected. Some of our severe ADHD kids that got the right meds weren't inactive they were just more able to control themselves. Meaning they were able to clear their head and study without their minds racing. When outside they were still very active and "hyper" but in much more control.