Jay, the fact is being in a same sex relationship you do have to plan more for a baby (rather than an "oopsy forgot to take my pill" baby) just due to the biology of it. That in itself starts good conversations, allows for time to plan, etc for big decisions like a baby - that time never hurts. I'm glad you and your partner have this time to decide if it's the right time.

I don't think automatically 21 is too young, no more than I appreciate people referring to my youngest as my grandson (drives me nuts!) or thinking I was too old at 40 to have him. Age is only relevant when it speaks to your ability to handle the challenges of parenting. For me, being an older mom, I know I don't have the energy I had for Michael's much older siblings. Everything about being a parent is a trade off, a concession to reality, a struggle and in the end, a joy. The craziest part about being somebody's mom or dad is you really don't know if you did it right until they are raised up and well, it's a bit late then isn't it LOL.

You've had a lot of challenges spelled out to you in this thread. They and I are being very honest with you about the realities of kids. I hope you realize it's only out of concern that we've shared these thoughts. 21 or 40, being a mother is an amazing experience I'm glad I have. I cannot with any words I type explain the feelings when your newborn is first placed in your arms - there's not another feeling in the world even close to it.

Take your time, hon, you and your fiancee have all the time in the world to decide and my very best wishes to both of you.