Calling all Mothers

[Texas Dan]

Uh yea, I can't get married because I'm in a same-sex relationship. Even if I had the ceremony and we exchanged rings, said our I-Do's the government still would not recognize my fiance as my partner and my fiance would not have legal rights over our children.

And I was not asking whether I SHOULD have children. I was asking for advice, suggestions, and experiences. I like hearing what others have to say and in this instance, parents. I would like to know what parents have to say about having their first child. What was it like? Whether I have a child or not is purely my decision and no one on here can sway me one way or the other. I'm not saying I'm going out today to get pregnant, but I am starting the researching process and this is one of my ways of getting a few things answered. I believe myself to be a mature individual and I'm not about to go out and do something stupid. I want to have as much information at my disposal as possible and get some opinions, suggestions, and advice along the way.

I appreciate your reply, but I would like to be considered a mature adult before someone gives me their advice.

I understand now, and I'll get out, thought it was more of a "Should I, or Should I not" thread. Heinsight (spelling) is sometimes better IMO than someone going through it. That may not make any sense, but I continue to see people I know and love fall off the face of the earth because they have a newborn at home. I'm happy for them, and I want a child too, but EVERYTHING should be in order.

As far as the same sex marriage thing, while it is illegal, and to me it doesn't matter either way, there are still legal ways to get rights to a child without being married. I'm pretty sure everyone that would possible get the child has to sign off on it, but you can make a contract for just about anything now. As long as all parties agree and all affected parties agree, I don't see where the problem would be.

[Jay_Bunny]

Thanks Steve.

My fiance and I are very commited to each other and we've been together for 4.5 years. We've basically been living as a married couple for some time now, even before getting our townhouse. So its not like we are rushing things. We've known we wanted children together for a long time and we are just now starting to consider it as a near possibility. As for a child-proof home, I know how that is. When my little cousin came along there were a lot of changes to be made with the house itself and how we did things. (we had to be extra careful with what we left out and what was in or out of baby's reach.)

[firebellied]

My pleasure hun!

All that's left to say is...Stay safe, Happy & in Love......What more of a family life could a baby ever want or need!

Love & Good luck to you both!!!

X

[Jay_Bunny]

I understand now, and I'll get out, thought it was more of a "Should I, or Should I not" thread. Heinsight (spelling) is sometimes better IMO than someone going through it. That may not make any sense, but I continue to see people I know and love fall off the face of the earth because they have a newborn at home. I'm happy for them, and I want a child too, but EVERYTHING should be in order.

As far as the same sex marriage thing, while it is illegal, and to me it doesn't matter either way, there are still legal ways to get rights to a child without being married. I'm pretty sure everyone that would possible get the child has to sign off on it, but you can make a contract for just about anything now. As long as all parties agree and all affected parties agree, I don't see where the problem would be.

As for "Should I, or Should I Not." That is up to me. . I don't let anyone whether it be someone online, a friend, or even a family member decide anything for me. I'll take all the advice I can get but whether I act on that advice is up to me. And I appreciate everyone's input on this subject.

[Texas Dan]

As for "Should I, or Should I Not." That is up to me. . I don't let anyone whether it be someone online, a friend, or even a family member decide anything for me. I'll take all the advice I can get but whether I act on that advice is up to me. And I appreciate everyone's input on this subject.

I appologize if I came off as an ass in this thread. I just hate seeing people make decisions like this when they're really young. But after reading, it sounds like you have your head on your shoulders, just me, myself couldn't imagine having kids right now, even though I make more money than I need.

Maybe your thread made me thing of where my life is, and i'm within the "5 year stretch" of when I'm going to have a kid, and it's scary.

[Jay_Bunny]

My mother had me when she was 25 and my grandmother had my mother when she was 20. My mother said she would have had me sooner if it had not been for infertility issues, so I come from a line of young mothers. Hahaha.

But in all seriousness, I really appreciate your concern. I know some young mothers who got pregnant in highschool (I even knew an expectant mother when I was in middle school. She was 16). So I know that having a baby when your young is very challenging and can basically ruin your entire concept of what you wanted your life to be.

[Rapture]

Here's another view from a non-mother perspective... I am a 22 year old female and right now would never dream of having a child. I also never get the urge to have one. I don't make a whole lot of money, like you I make enough to pay the bills and have a little for savings and hobbies. If I had a child not only would I have to sell off most of my snakes, but my child would turn into my hobby and I'm pretty sure that would be all I could afford. Your child will be your life and you should be very sure you are ready for that sacrifice. A child is like anything else... the more you put in, the more you get out in the end, and those early years are very important to your child's development and the relationship you build with him/her. One other thing I am curious about, and I hope I am not crossing the line by asking this, but if you are in a same sex relationship, how are you going to go about having a baby? Adoption, a clinic, a friend?

[Jay_Bunny]

We would use a donor and I would carry the baby. We have thought of adoption, but I think that would be even harder to do since we are not a legally married couple. I do want to adopt though, but not as my first child.

[Texas Dan]

We would use a donor and I would carry the baby. We have thought of adoption, but I think that would be even harder to do since we are not a legally married couple. I do want to adopt though, but not as my first child.

I'm not sure, but if it's hard to get it as an adoption, wouldn't it be just as hard to get a doner? I don't know, just wondering.

[Jay_Bunny]

I don't think anyone can really stop someone from having a biological child through a donor. I'm pretty sure the only real requirements are all health related.