Obviously the stress & frustration you're feeling with Smake's refusal to feed are showing up as your nightmares. I have to say that's the wrong way to show your snake how to eat...
But seriously, those are horrible dreams you've had. You can't help what you're feeling & if this doesn't change, it honestly might be best to rehome him to a very experienced snake-keeper.
I feel for you, as I know that some BPs can be very difficult snakes- but it's not good for a snake to continuously be force-fed. Pinkies are not adequate nutrition either- not even for a hatchling, & you say he's 3+ years old now. Ultimately the decision has to be yours. As for what, if anything, you're doing wrong...maybe nothing? But have you double checked the temperatures in his home? A snake that's not warm enough will certainly refuse to eat. Likewise a snake that's handled excessively, or one that's stressed by lack of privacy & feels threatened may refuse to eat.
If you could post pics of your set-up, & give many more details, maybe we can spot something?
I can understand you feeling shaken up by those awful nightmares, but maybe the cure is to confront & fix the problem with your snake. It's your call though, as I said. You say you don't want to give up on him, but yet you "dread taking him out"- those 2 things are not compatible.
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