Official 2018 FootBallPythons.net Fantasy Football League Thread

[Ax01]

ok i got in on the Dr. Seuss bet between Av and J and i lost! aahhhh lol! so i too had to write the book report. here's mine. it is copied from Word where it's 2.5 pages double-spaced.


Hey Dr. Seuss! What If The Kids Had A Mean Dog And There Were Video Games Back in 1957?

Parents, educators and most peeps in general view the good doctor’s 1957 classic rainy day adventure about two lil simpleton siblings, their uptight pet fish and a charming feline rando as both a great reading primer and moral lesson for young children. I agree with that stuff I guess because: First, the vocabulary is very simple. The words are mostly monosyllable, the sentences rhymes like rap music lyrics and has a repetitive syntax like the most popular top 40 chart toppers. Basically it’s everything that is helpful for early children’s reading, dictation and comprehension. Additionally, the book has the added super cool bonus of being illustrated which kids love.

Second, the book ends with the question “What would you do if your mother asked you?” With this question, the author doesn’t elaborate on what the sister and brother duo says or shares with their mom. Instead the question is put to the reading audience. It either gives the child reading something super important to think about or a parent to opportunity to introduce a discussion about honesty, integrity, morality and not letting randos into the house regardless of how charming they may be.

I believe that The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss goes a step further than those two primary reasons. If we delve beneath the surface, this story is a snapshot of a moment in time. It is a peek into life in 1957 and that is why I propose two critical questions: 1) What if the kids had a mean dog? And 2) What if there were video games back in 1957? I am definitely sure that the tale of these two small humans, a fish and a tabby would be quite different if either (or both) of these things were true. So let’s see what I mean.

Dogs are as much as popular a pet as their feline counterparts but neither are not a pet for everyone. The titular household in the book had neither and only showed preference for a talking fish. But what could a fish do to a cat? Just like Aquaman, they will not be able to do much when confined to just water. But what about a dog? Or more specifically, what about a 1950’s dog named Fido or Rover? I believe that a Rover or a Fido would not be able to do much either to deter a well-meaning, fun loving but nevertheless troublesome anthropomorphic cat. They just seem too nice and too much Leave It To Beaver to confront anything, let alone an iconic The Cat With The Hat.

So what about a more helpful dog you say? What about a 19520’s dog that is just as iconic? What about a helpful and iconic dog like Lassie who was a booming mainstay of television and Americana from 1954 to 1974? I truly do believe that Lassie would not be much of a deterrent either. I think that Lassie is well behaved and well-meaning but the Cat would still have its way. In fact, I am 100% sure that Lassie would tattle. She would run to the kid’s mom in the middle of all the fun to alert her to the ongoing shenanigans. Think about it. Lassie did the same thing to Timmy. She was always running to the adults. So not only would Lassie be a little too late to stop The Cat Wearing The Hat, but the kids would also be busted by mom. Whomp Whomp.

But what if they had a mean dog? Like a modern dog that has seen some stuff. Maybe a dog named Bear, Duke or Rufus. These are the types of dogs that would shut that :cens0r::cens0r::cens0r::cens0r: down immediately. I’m sorry but Rufus would not let the Cat through the front door no matter how clever or slick it thinks it is. Rufus is on point and you know it is extra mean when mom is away. So what if the kids had a mean dog? Obviously things would be a lot different.

I also think that the story would have unfolded differently if there were video games back in 1957. I was going to say that things would be different if the kids had Lego’s to play with but thorough research clearly shows that the beloved Lego toys were invented in 1932, a full quarter-century before the events of 1957! These were the de facto rainy day recess toys in school and all-around great toy everywhere. But where were the Lego’s? Were the kids deprived? I dunno, but they didn’t have a dog either. Were the Lego factories not at full speed after World War II? Like even 12 years later? Maybe. I dunno. But I do know what toys they had to play with. Both text and pictures confirm that the kids had some toys in the house. Those toys included various balls, a bike, tennis racquet(s), two kite, a net, a little toy ship, a little toy man and maybe other stuff too that was not seen or mentioned. Moreover the kids could have even played dress up in mom’s new gown with the pink, white and red dots if they pleased but alas they did not. Despite these toys, they let The Cat And The Hat get the better of them. But what if?

What if there were some awesome and addictive video games back in those days? Would things have happened differently? I think so! Some misleading statistics say that most gamers play like 6.5 hours of games a week and another 4.5 hours with another person. I say misleading because that’s only 11 hours total and I’m sure most of my friends and the kids who like to play video games, play at least 11 hours in a single day. Like they are stuck to their TV’s, computer screens and video games and would be totally unfazed by The Cat Hatter. Alas the Nintendo 64 was invented 40years too late (in 1997). The Xbox debuted in 2001 and many years later, the iPhone in 2007. These machines are inescapable entertainment for the ages but just happened way too late.

Today is not 1957. Would the same Cat be able to stroll into a modern day household? I don’t think so. It’s no longer a What If? I can confidently say that The Cat In The Hat would especially not be able to perform the same stunts today if the house has 1) a mean dog and/or 2) video game obsessed kids (or Lego’s). Nevertheless, we could still hold this classic book up in high regard for what it is. It still is a snapshot of time, one of the best reading primers and a nice lesson to teach your kids about randos. The book is 61 years old and still gets my gold star!