I feel for you, you seem to have ended up with humanus lazyatus dumbasrockus.
It sounds as if he is stressed. He needs to chill out. He hasn't had time to acclimate to owning a snake yet.
Best you keep him in a small, dark room and have a Thanksgiving sized meal delivered twice the day. Make sure you keep him well hydrated, perhaps a long soak in the bathtub every night may help.
Keep him warm enough. Perhaps you could have him swaddled some, it seems to calm down that squirrely species !!
Good luck, and make sure to visit "dumb-humans.net" so much great info and help there, and the other snakes are so friendly. Great community there !!!