I’m not sure why your animals would act that way other than if you put two males together as pit mentioned. If you witnessed locks then we know that is not the case so there is some other reason stressing them. She could of ovulated already and wants nothing to do with him but in my small amount of experience, once they ovulate they pretty much just ignore the male, I have not seen them get aggravated as it sounds like your describing which is what can happen introducing two males.
Off topic but what is your intention of breeding a normal and a spider? If you just want more pets, then I can see it being ok but if you don’t intend to keep the offspring I highly suggest you rethink this pairing. They have almost no value and the market is already flooded with low dollar morphs. You may have a hard time finding them homes even if you are giving them away. If you are serious about breeding I would recommend at the very least getting a 3 morph combo male to go to your normal female.
Good luck with whatever you decide, breeding is a great experience, I just hate seeing so many low dollar animals being produced with no home to go to. I’m just trying to save you from being stuck with a bunch of normals and spiders that you don’t want for yourself.