Overreacting friend

[MissterDog]

On the same note you need to understand their fear. Can't just go one way. You like snakes so you're only seeing it from your end. We all have fears. She is entitled to her opinion. As you are entitled to own a snake.

If it is fear, then yes, but op mentioned her friend didn't express a fear of snakes.

I agree it goes both ways, which is why I feel op's friend also needs to be willing to compromise which it sounds she is not. If she really cared about her friend, despite her fears if they are legitimate, then she would try to work around them. I'm afraid of babies. I get panic attacks whenever I hear them cry or see them, they legit freak me out to the point I sometimes can't breathe and have to lock myself in some secluded room. It's not a fear most understand or bother to understand, it doesn't stop them from showing pictures of babies to me, trying to get me to hold their babies, inviting me to their house, invading my personal space. It's not a globally accepted fear like snakes. People are so quick to say we need to understand other's fears but it's generally limited to what fears are considered 'normal'

However, I have friends and family members who are popping babies everywhere. I can't always escape it, and some of these relationships I really want to keep, so I have to ask myself, just how important are these friends to me, and is it worth me making an effort to meet halfway? Imagine how I must appear to others if I were to say " you have a baby so I'm not setting one foot in your house. You have a baby don't bring it to lunches. You have a baby don't talk about it with me. Keep that thing away from me"

This baby I consider a horrific thing is the world to them. As a friend it's up to me to try and at least appreciate their point of view and TRY. My fear will never go away, but it can improve and has been, but the only reason it is is because I was willing to give it a go because I chose to care about what was important to my friends.

[Newbie39]

If it is fear, then yes, but op mentioned her friend didn't express a fear of snakes.

I agree it goes both ways, which is why I feel op's friend also needs to be willing to compromise which it sounds she is not. If she really cared about her friend, despite her fears if they are legitimate, then she would try to work around them. I'm afraid of babies. I get panic attacks whenever I hear them cry or see them, they legit freak me out to the point I sometimes can't breathe and have to lock myself in some secluded room. It's not a fear most understand or bother to understand, it doesn't stop them from showing pictures of babies to me, trying to get me to hold their babies, inviting me to their house, invading my personal space. It's not a globally accepted fear like snakes. People are so quick to say we need to understand other's fears but it's generally limited to what fears are considered 'normal'


However, I have friends and family members who are popping babies everywhere. I can't always escape it, and some of these relationships I really want to keep, so I have to ask myself, just how important are these friends to me, and is it worth me making an effort to meet halfway? Imagine how I must appear to others if I were to say " you have a baby so I'm not setting one foot in your house. You have a baby don't bring it to lunches. You have a baby don't talk about it with me."

This baby I consider a horrific thing is the world to them. As a friend it's up to me to try and at least appreciate their point of view and TRY.

Agreed. If one my friends had a spider I would still go to their house. Probably even hold it.

[MissterDog]

Agreed. If one my friends had a spider I would still go to their house. Probably even hold it.

Same. I really think it boils down to; is there a willingness to make an effort and active choice to care what your friend considers important. Providing boundaries are respected of course!

[tttaylorrr]

I'm afraid of babies. I get panic attacks whenever I hear them cry or see them, they legit freak me out to the point I sometimes can't breathe and have to lock myself in some secluded room.

totally off topic but i'm so happy to hear someone speak about their fear of babies...babies literally scare me and idk why. i never even touched my baby cousins until they could walk. IDK WHERE THIS COMES FROM.

[MissterDog]

totally off topic but i'm so happy to hear someone speak about their fear of babies...babies literally scare me and idk why. i never even touched my baby cousins until they could walk. IDK WHERE THIS COMES FROM.

OMG I'M NOT ALONE THANK YOU I THOUGHT I WAS BROKEN

It's hard for me to understand why either, but something about seeing them and especially hearing them sets off internal survival alarms like something or someone is going to break and OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

[Joci]

I guess I can't really relate to any of this because I am literally afraid of no animals (or babies lol), except for a healthy amount of caution around venomous animals and giant (15ft+) pythons, I am a relatively small person so venom and/or giant animals could overpower me easily haha.

I definitely used to be afraid of spiders, but what fixed it for me was the fact that these (and a lot of other) animals really really aren't thinking about hurting you, in fact, they are most definitely more afraid of you than you are of them. This is what causes any animal to bite, unless of course you are being hunted down by a mountain lion or the like .

I wish more people could understand that animals have no desire to hurt them, heck, I don't even think animal are self-aware, so how could they "feel like" hurting you?

Funny story, today I was in class and suddenly a spider began to lower itself in front of my face. I simply broke the string it was attached to and put it on the floor without telling my classmates lol

[Pitonica]

I guess I can't really relate to any of this because I am literally afraid of no animals (or babies lol), except for a healthy amount of caution around venomous animals and giant (15ft+) pythons, I am a relatively small person so venom and/or giant animals could overpower me easily haha.

I definitely used to be afraid of spiders, but what fixed it for me was the fact that these (and a lot of other) animals really really aren't thinking about hurting you, in fact, they are most definitely more afraid of you than you are of them. This is what causes any animal to bite, unless of course you are being hunted down by a mountain lion or the like .

I wish more people could understand that animals have no desire to hurt them, heck, I don't even think animal are self-aware, so how could they "feel like" hurting you?

Funny story, today I was in class and suddenly a spider began to lower itself in front of my face. I simply broke the string it was attached to and put it on the floor without telling my classmates lol

Lucky spider!
They fascinate me but still can't seem to be calm when I see a bigger one on me. The unpredictable - will it run fast, go in my shirt, what if I kill him trying to get him off, what if... That just does it for me.. I would like to be free of that silly fear. I managed to hold a emperor scorpions a few times in my hands dough and madagascar baby roaches - baby ones. Maybe it's the size of a bug...
When I see a snake I just want to hold it in my hands to see her better, how it acts.. unless its poisonous...or heavier than me than I just stare

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