Overreacting friend

[Pitonica]

petted a tarantula with one finger once, but am not able to hold it, I could hear my heart beat in my head from fear.. Spiders are amazing.. guess if you learn about it and keep checking it out, it stops being so freaky in some time.
Brave son you have there!

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[Kira]

Honestly I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that. To not even go inside your house just because you have a small, caged, harmless pet is ridiculously immature - especially being how old she is.

[SDA]

The true test of friendship is accepting the things that annoy you in your friends without expecting the same.

10 years is a long time to know someone so if they are a good friend they will come around and if not then you just have to accept it and well move on past them. You should talk to her and express how much this bothers you and let her be the one to make the decision on your friendship from there.

[Pitonica]

I was just wondering can fear be so big..or im missing something?..
Am I a bad friend for not understanding her..

I gave myself an example - im really afraid of all bugs, but I got over most of that fear because I love n like to take care of lizards, feed and pamper them. So I handle hundreds of crickets daily, breed them, clean them.. roaches also..was terrified but I managed cause I care.
Can't she get over one little snake with not even having to hold it or look at it cause she cares?. .
I know I just have to let it go and... Go to her place or out.. But It just bugs me u know


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[Kira]

No, she is being the bad friend. What kind of friendship is that if she can't overlook one caged snake? She won't even come inside your house!! Life's too short to deal with people like that IMO. Seriously she needs to grow up. I totally get people who don't like or are afraid of snakes but come on- to not even step a foot in your house?!

[tttaylorrr]

I was just wondering can fear be so big..or im missing something?..
Am I a bad friend for not understanding her..

I gave myself an example - im really afraid of all bugs, but I got over most of that fear because I love n like to take care of lizards, feed and pamper them. So I handle hundreds of crickets daily, breed them, clean them.. roaches also..was terrified but I managed cause I care.
Can't she get over one little snake with not even having to hold it or look at it cause she cares?. .
I know I just have to let it go and... Go to her place or out.. But It just bugs me u know


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fear can absolutely be that big. i used to send snapchats of my snakes to people until one of my friends told me to stop in a less-than-polite way. an unexpected picture of a snake caused him to get mad at me! idk if it was a phobia or ignorance, but one can be helped while the other cannot.

when i'm scared of something, i try and learn all that i can so i can better understand myself and the source to either prove my fears correct or just learn something new.

there's a difference between a phobia and a fear derived from willful ignorance. she's purposefully choosing ignorance over hanging out with you at your place.

honestly there's the possibility she doesn't even understand how much her behavior affects you. people get so wrapped up in their own minds and beliefs they have a hard time understanding how others can feel differently, or how their attitudes about those things affect others.

she sounds willfully ignorant.

[tttaylorrr]

No, she is being the bad friend. What kind of friendship is that if she can't overlook one caged snake? She won't even come inside your house!! Life's too short to deal with people like that IMO. Seriously she needs to grow up. I totally get people who don't like or are afraid of snakes but come on- to not even step a foot in your house?!

i sent a snapchat of Yellow once that basically ended a dying friendship. he was "scared" i tried to explain why they're not, and it ended!
like, Yellow is my son! YOU LOVE HIM OR YOU'RE OUT!!! tho tbh it was an easy choice for me LOL.

[EL-Ziggy]

My friends are either fascinated by or frightened of my snakes. None of them have refused to come by my place but I would respect their boundaries if they chose to do so. We can always hang out somewhere else.

[MissterDog]

Honestly a good friend is someone who will try to care or atleast understand your interests even if it doesn't reflect their own. If she's being willingly ignorant and controlling about the situation then I think it may be time to close the door.

[AbsoluteApril]

I was just wondering can fear be so big..

yes it can and it varies by person. My ex and I had to stay with his grandma for a short time, she is terrified of snakes and did not want them anywhere near her house but I had no choice. I explained how they were locked up to try to calm her. I carried the tubs in covered with towels and she had a complete utter shock and fear on her face and was frozen, could not move, even though she could not see them. I kept them in a spare room which I installed a lock on as well to try to relax her but she was uneasy the entire time they were in the house and had trouble sleeping. I thought she had exaggerated her fear and it wouldn't be a big deal but oh boy... It was horrible and I felt terrible about it, luckily it was only for one month.

My friend has a fear of spiders. She works to try to overcome it by forcing herself to look at photos of them, even seeing pictures she tenses up and gets uncomfortable. When she's go to reptile shows and shops with me, I'd have to point out there area where the spiders were kept so she could avoid it.

It's a very real and sometimes crippling fear for some people that can be incredibly difficult to overcome.