just a little something i wanted to share (long)

[tttaylorrr]

I totally get where you're coming from. I have a lot of mental disorders, and the mix of 2 of them depression plus ocd for me is crippling. With my ocd, Once something gets too dirty I can't touch it. With my depression not being able to leave my bed is a thing. So if it hits really hard I don't clean for a few days because i can't move, then the ocd won't let me clean it at all. Then starts a cycle of depression that only spirals down. Need to clean to not be depressed, can't clean, rinse repeat.
This year has been really really hard on me. Ill admit for the first 7 months of 2017 I was a zombie. Depression can make even your favorite things not seem worth breathing.
Luckily I have a very strong human support system of a close knit community of 6 other people who if I break down past the point of return will come and help me get back on my feet. Aka taking out the trash, etc.

Now on to my animals. At the end of the day, knowing that they need me to survive is one of the things that keeps me still trucking. I treat them better than I treat myself by leaps and bounds. Part of most people's depression is the feeling of worthlessness. When even feeding yourself can become something you might not even do once a day. Animals are coping device that a lot of humans use. Mental health support dogs being a major one.
Somehow little creatures can steal our heart and keep it going.
For me I know my instinct to care for and be motherly/ protecting is the strongest one I have. It is the only thing that can make me move even if I feel like turning to dust.
I'm glad you've found that the snek is a strong point for you. Use that strength.
I'm glad you're coming out of your hole and taking your baby steps. It's hard, and one heck of a journey. Remember that everyone with a mental illness has bad days, or even months, and that no matter how much better we feel it is still just as simple to fall off track back to the bottom. That's just how it works. It also helps to remember that these disorders are caused by chemical imbalances in our brains that we don't have control over. Our job is learning to recognise them and learning how to push (or drag) past them or ask for help.
About 350 million people on this planet suffer from depression alone. You're not alone. You're not weird. You're not a freak. Its almost as common as being born with blue eyes.
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I'm proud of you for taking care of your "family", even if you can't take care of you!
Let's get in on that :group hug:

Sent from my SM-G920R4 using Tapatalk

thank you so much for the thoughtful post.

i have a decent human support system, but i think i'm the only person in their lives with these issues; i get worried i'm overwhelming them with something they're uncomfortable with. they've never given me a hint of this being true, but...anxiety.

if i'm DESPERATE i do turn to them. when i just need some encouragement and community, places like this truly help (i don't use facebook).

thanks, again.