just a little something i wanted to share (long)

[ballpythonluvr]

this might get a little TMI but, oh well. i felt i needed to get this off my chest.


i have anxiety and depression; i've been battling with it ever since i was ~16 (i'm 26). for almost two months now i've been going through a spot of fairly deep depression, and it sucks. work has been miserable (50+ hours a week for a month straight), my social life has been practically non-existent, and it all started to take a toll on me. for almost two months i kind of stopped showering, brushing my teeth, my hair, stopped cleaning and doing laundry, eating like sh00t because i stopped caring about any sort of diet, and generally just trying to do as little as possible.

a couple days ago, i noticed Corny needed a total enclosure cleaning. it took a lot from me to get started, but i realized i had to do it for him; this wasn't about me right now. i went ahead and cleaned everything and put him back. i felt really accomplished.

after that i looked around my room and decided well, i did one thing today. let's try two. i picked up my dirty clothes and hung the clean clothes that i left in the laundry basket for almost two weeks. i actually started feeling good.

two days ago, my python gang were all available for handling, so i decided to take photos. seeing everyone out and in beautiful lighting made me realize i've been doing an awesome job with them; they're all thriving in my care and that's all because of ME. despite how i've been feeling, THEY feel awesome because of me. i kind of had a moment taking those photos, and it really helped me get a leg up to get out of this hole i found myself in.

that night i cleaned myself up and took care of myself. tonight i'm going to go buy a new dress for a wedding this weekend, and i'll be cleaning out Spaghetti's enclosure and doing my laundry.


baby steps, but i'm feeling better. these baby steps were possible because my noodles made me realize i am capable of caring for myself and others, despite how i'm feeling. this all might sound silly to someone who has never dealt with a mental health disorder, but these kinds of break-throughs are a big deal to someone like me.

thanks for reading. i hope you all don't think i'm some weird-o!!!

You most certainly are not weird! I have been going through bipolar disorder, anxiety, and PTSD for a great length of time in my life. I am moving out of my house today and away from my boyfriend of 14 1/2 years to start a new life. Why I am moving is a whole other story and I won't bore with you the story but I am embarking on my own journey so that I can get better and get the help I need. Right now I live in the country in Pennsylvania and their is no help put here, buses don't even run. I gave up all of animals due to leaving because it is for the best but I can definitely say that when I used to take care of them during one of my worst days it helped make me feel better and very accomplished.

I even want to go back to school to become an addictions counselor because I lost my niece and nephew to heroin and my own to daughters are recovering heroin addicts. I want to help people that struggle with this. You are a very strong person and I admire you for recognizing that you have issues.