just a little something i wanted to share (long)

[tttaylorrr]

this might get a little TMI but, oh well. i felt i needed to get this off my chest.


i have anxiety and depression; i've been battling with it ever since i was ~16 (i'm 26). for almost two months now i've been going through a spot of fairly deep depression, and it sucks. work has been miserable (50+ hours a week for a month straight), my social life has been practically non-existent, and it all started to take a toll on me. for almost two months i kind of stopped showering, brushing my teeth, my hair, stopped cleaning and doing laundry, eating like sh00t because i stopped caring about any sort of diet, and generally just trying to do as little as possible.

a couple days ago, i noticed Corny needed a total enclosure cleaning. it took a lot from me to get started, but i realized i had to do it for him; this wasn't about me right now. i went ahead and cleaned everything and put him back. i felt really accomplished.

after that i looked around my room and decided well, i did one thing today. let's try two. i picked up my dirty clothes and hung the clean clothes that i left in the laundry basket for almost two weeks. i actually started feeling good.

two days ago, my python gang were all available for handling, so i decided to take photos. seeing everyone out and in beautiful lighting made me realize i've been doing an awesome job with them; they're all thriving in my care and that's all because of ME. despite how i've been feeling, THEY feel awesome because of me. i kind of had a moment taking those photos, and it really helped me get a leg up to get out of this hole i found myself in.

that night i cleaned myself up and took care of myself. tonight i'm going to go buy a new dress for a wedding this weekend, and i'll be cleaning out Spaghetti's enclosure and doing my laundry.


baby steps, but i'm feeling better. these baby steps were possible because my noodles made me realize i am capable of caring for myself and others, despite how i'm feeling. this all might sound silly to someone who has never dealt with a mental health disorder, but these kinds of break-throughs are a big deal to someone like me.

thanks for reading. i hope you all don't think i'm some weird-o!!!

[Finn0208]

I think that's awesome!!!! Way to go, I hope you continue to get better, anxiety sucks!!!! I have it and so does my daughter who is 16


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[MJ_Bosley]

This is so inspiring

[dylan815]

That's awesome that you opened up to us! Good job and keep going strong!

[omglolchrisss]

You go girl that's awesome and very inspirational you're not a weirdo at all anxiety and depression are a very real thing I had depression and anxiety for years and had no motivation to really do anythjng I don't feel depressed anymore but I had to baby myself and make so many changes for that to happen as for anxiety I still have anxiety/panic disorder and that stuff can be very rough. Also when I am having a bad day looking at my little jeffrees face always makes me feel somewhat better!! keep up the good work Girl!

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[elleon]

I'm so glad you are feeling even a little bit better! I know depression can be really tough, but animals are a great help to mental health. They kinda force you to get out of bed and do something, because they need taken care of. Plus, holding a pet is very rewarding, especially when you realize how much you do for them. I constantly look forward to being able to hold my noodle, even just for a couple minutes. Even watching him when he's out is calming. Keep up the good work! I'm sure you can do it! c:

[tttaylorrr]

thank you all for the kind words! you all are so great.

i still have work ahead of me but i'm feeling so much better than before. it's going to take some time, but i know i'll get back to feeling 100% and that helps me through the days.

i'm very appreciative of you all.

[artgecko]

I'm glad they are helping you with your issues.. I have always heard that when you are anxious (especially about things you cannot control) it helps to focus outwards and think about / work on things unrelated to the anxiety. In this case, your focusing on your snakes not only made you realize that you are capable of doing a good job caring for them, but it also meant that during the time you were concentrating on taking care of them, you were spending less mental energy worrying about the negative aspects of your life.

Many years back I would get anxious whenever I thought about my "life goals" and how I wasn't stacking up to them..I had a detailed "map" of where I should be and what I should have accomplished by a certain age (I now realize how silly that was). I would think about not being in a solid relationship or not having a full-time job with good income, or not purchasing a house yet, etc. and just feel like I was a total looser. When that would happen, I would always start cleaning my room, the house, etc. and focusing on that would make me feel a little better in that I could accomplish something of value.

I hope you have good luck in your struggle with depression...I know it is something that cannot be totally overcome, but must be fought one day and one battle at a time. As such, it takes great courage and effort on your part to make the little steps you mentioned.

[ckuhn003]

Wishing you loads of luck, confidence and success in your battle w/ anxiety. Your pictures yesterday brought so much excitement and smile to my face and reiterated why I decided to journey down this path of owning a BP. Majority of people I share this with think I'm weird for wanting one

You've helped me (as well as many others) answering my newbie questions! Good luck!

[tttaylorrr]

I'm glad they are helping you with your issues.. I have always heard that when you are anxious (especially about things you cannot control) it helps to focus outwards and think about / work on things unrelated to the anxiety. In this case, your focusing on your snakes not only made you realize that you are capable of doing a good job caring for them, but it also meant that during the time you were concentrating on taking care of them, you were spending less mental energy worrying about the negative aspects of your life.

Many years back I would get anxious whenever I thought about my "life goals" and how I wasn't stacking up to them..I had a detailed "map" of where I should be and what I should have accomplished by a certain age (I now realize how silly that was). I would think about not being in a solid relationship or not having a full-time job with good income, or not purchasing a house yet, etc. and just feel like I was a total looser. When that would happen, I would always start cleaning my room, the house, etc. and focusing on that would make me feel a little better in that I could accomplish something of value.

I hope you have good luck in your struggle with depression...I know it is something that cannot be totally overcome, but must be fought one day and one battle at a time. As such, it takes great courage and effort on your part to make the little steps you mentioned.

thank you for this. the whole "think outwards" strategy is something that takes a lot from me to realize when i'm feeling overcome with my thoughts. once i get on a roll though it's SO helpful to be able to actually focus on something other than my anxiety/depression.

i know it's something i have to work through every day, and it might push me around a lot, but my anxiety/depression will never win!!! lol.