My poor baby...

[Craiga 01453]

I honestly believe you are beating yourself up too much. Your snake is going to be perfectly fine if you listen to the advice people are giving you. Please remember, we were ALL new once!! I know it is frustrating right now and you feel in over your head, but I promise it gets easier if you're willing to put in the time and effort to learn and apply what you learn. Once you have your husbandry dialed in it becomes a LOT easier. BPs are NOT like little lap dogs and kittens. They are AMAZING animals and can be extremely rewarding pets. However, if you're looking for a pet you can hold and cuddle all day, it's probably not the animal for you. These are wild, primitive animals which we raise in our captivity for our enjoyment. It is our responsibility as keepers to provide them with the life they deserve, which means enclosure, husbandry, and everything else they can't seek out on their own because they are captive. Yes, they are very docile and TOLERATE handling by us humans, but they TOLERATE it and we should remember that when we handle them. They will become more comfortable with being handled as they develop trust, but they are not going to thrive being handled excessively. BPs by nature like to stay hidden where they are solitary and feel safe and secure. When being handled, they are out of their comfortable, safe environment. Chances are, depending on weather/climate where you live, they are also below their comfortable temperature gradient, which can cause serious health issues including, but not limited to, respiratory infection. Over handling can cause stress, which depletes the animals immune system as well. Not to mention, stressed animals will be less inclined to eat regularly. Don't worry, though, as your animal gets bigger, stronger and healthier he will be more comfortable being handled, as long as it is within reason. Please be patient, it will all work out if you ask questions, listen, learn and apply what you learn. You seem to have your heart set on creating a loving, healthy home for your snake. You're asking questions and seem to be applying a good portion of what you're learning. Don't give up, I truly believe that with due diligence you are going to provide a fantastic home for your snake (you'll probably want another soon, and another, and another, hahahahaha). Keep in mind, this amazing animal can be a part of your family for a very long time, so try to resist the temptation to over handle, there is PLENTY of time to enjoy your snake!

Good luck, keep asking questions and learning!! We are here for you and your snake.
Keep us posted!