I didnt know where to put this... selfish or not? (Long Post)

[Christinnnian]

I dont really know whos approval you are talking about?

I guess an example would be a tip jar you set out. You arent asking for anything, it is just there. You probably dont even expect anything, but if people gives you money that is their choice to spend their "hard earned" money. If my gf mentions she wants to go to a ball game sometime, and you surprise her with tickets, is that a scenerio of her being selfish? Im not trying to get anyones approval for anything im just trying to wrap my head around where the line is? What makes that scenerio different? Or taking a friend to a music show spontaneously? Or even buying your child a puppy they have on their xmas list? Where does the line end? (not to get philosophical haha)

The difference in your examples is that you're referencing giving someone a gift that incidentally has a monetary value. The contrast with crowdfunded donations is that people are donating a liquid form of currency that can theoretically be spent on anything, and people like to feel secure when they make a donation that it is for a legit and reasoned expense. A tip jar is an active solicitation because it's usually right at the register and labeled; it's there in plain sight and hard to miss. Obviously no one is obligated to tip but it's the visibility and presence that makes it an active act. Giving someone a gift with monetary value that they've expressed interest in is completely different because you've already determined how the money is spent, i.e. tickets to a game or a puppy. Obviously someone could sell the tickets or puppy and turn the gift into liquid currency, but you as a gift giver would be highly offended. In my opinion the line has a lot to do with the form in which you are soliciting- if you're soliciting money for a want, that is tacky, but if you're soliciting items useful to your goal then your donators feel this is more of a gift and are secure in their investment in that you're locked in to what they give you and can't say "buying a snake" and then buying hookers and blow lol.