No one can say when a particular snake will be taking a particular size feeder. A male boa on medium rats would get fed every 14 days. I have 3-4 year old males taking large rats, they get one every 21 days. My biggest female is five years old and seven feet, she's on a jumbo rat every 3-4 weeks.
An appropriate sized feeder is as large around as the boa at its widest point, there should be a minimal lump after the snake eats.
MrSnake21's boa is in good weight, note the square body shape. BCI should never be round or even pleasingly plump like a ball python, as fatty liver disease will shorten their lifespan considerably.
The BRB should be fed slightly smaller meals than the BCI, they are known as "slender boas" and should never be heavy-bodied. They must be maintained at cooler temperatures than BCI and pythons, and as a result they digest slowly. My adult male is on a small rat every 10-14 days since I have no plans to breed him this year, last year he was on medium rats in the fall to get a touch more weight on him before I started the fasting/cooling process.
As for settling them down, I would handle each gently for up to 15 minutes each day, except for feeding day and the three days after so you don't induce a stress regurge. As you noted the little nips from a small snake aren't a big deal, but they're not fun if the snake hasn't settled down when it grows up.
Make sure when the snake is out that it is well-supported so it's not fearful of falling, and you may have to distract it by giving it something soft and safe to strike at, such as a roll of paper towels, while you scoop it up from behind.
Make sure it is calm when you put it back so they don't learn that biting = going back to the enclosure.









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