Do you think it's ok?

[NormanSnake]

Do you think it's ok for spouses/partners to hide purchases from each other? I mean, I can see if you were doing well and didn't have bills to pay, but what about if you did have bills to pay and your spouse spent a considerable amount of money and hid it from you? Just wanting to get some opinions.

[elbee]

Nope. I think it's odd and unnecessary. I tell my husband when I spend money and vise versa so we have that knowledge in case we need to avoid spending etc. I don't necessarily ask permission, I just keep him in the know. I told him the other day that I wrote my mom a check for $200 and he in turn told me he gave $100 to someone that needed it. No problem. We aren't rolling in money but we can pay our bills. I think it is just a mutual respect thing. Now I don't tell him every purchase I make, lol and neither does he. But in general we communicate it pretty well and don't hide anything for sure. This is all my opinion though

[swansonbb]

I'd have to say no. Not even a little.

[NormanSnake]

I'd say anything under 50-100 is fine, but I'm just saying that if you spend more than $100 on something, you should tell your partner. It is a respect thing. Especially when you're struggling to pay the bills and one person is trying to keep the two of you above water, and the other person is spending and hiding it.

[Mike41793]

Depends on who pays the bills and whose names are on the accounts. If you split the bills equally and each half always pays and if you both have your own separate accounts, then yea sure, why not? If my spouse wanted to drop $500 on a pair of shoes or a purse, go for it. As long as you pay what you're supposed to, I could care less what you do with your money.

If the couple is trying to save up for something together, like say a new car, and one is spending all their spare money on randomn crap, then yea thats not fair.

[Mike41793]

Especially when you're struggling to pay the bills and one person is trying to keep the two of you above water, and the other person is spending and hiding it.

Nope, not ok at all then. Dump his ass and find a man thats a PARTNER, not a leech.

[BrandiR]

There's a difference between hiding that you spent it, and just not telling your partner that you spent it. I don't send a text every time I drop $10 at Mc Donald's, but if I spend any amount of money on anything and the thought crosses my mind that I'm spending money, then I say something. If you find yourself thinking about the amount or what you're buying, then you should tell your partner about the expenditure. Especially if you aren't in a great financial position. Everything one of you spends requires the other to make a sacrifice, so keeping them in the dark about it isn't very respectful.

[NormanSnake]

Nope, not ok at all then. Dump his ass and find a man thats a PARTNER, not a leech.

Oh yeah Mike, I'll just waltz on out and grab me one up pronto

[kdreptiles]

Oh yeah Mike, I'll just waltz on out and grab me one up pronto

No need to find someone right away. Please, for the love of God tell me you're not one of those people who think a bad relationship is better than no relationship. Not that I'm assuming your relationship is bad, but hiding big purchases is pretty bad. Now, if you hound him for every small purchase he makes, or remind him all the time that you're the breadwinner and believe he shouldn't be spending money, he might feel oppressed enough to try hiding an impulse buy. I don't see why someone would believe that they can succeed in keeping a purchase hidden from their partner forever, especially if they live with them, so are you sure they were truly hiding it or just didn't feel the need to tell you?

[Andybill]

Only if its a special occasion and its meant to be a surprise. Other than that no way. My wife and I are comfortable enough to have some fun but we tell each other that we spent some money. If I am even thinking about purchasing something thats more than 50 bucks I discuss it with her and get her input, deliberate a bit and then decide whether or not its necessary. I like the cushion and the breathing room we have created. I am one to impulse buy on occasion but no matter what I let her know I spent some money that day. We like to stay on top of our finances because it can easily become the biggest headache in a relationship.