My Fiance Is Driving Me Nuts And I Don't Know What To Do

[WarriorPrincess90]

I dont think its important for a significant other to share the same interests as you but they should be able to at least support you. For example: i hate horses; however, if i liked a chick that liked horses id be willing to support her hobby of riding them or uh... whatever else you do with the stupid things. It's part of a mutual respect you have to have for your partner. She sounds really selfish and kind of immature; hanging up the phone if you bring up a topic she doesnt like. Really? That's so childish. I would try and sit down and have a serious talk with her. If that doesnt work then maybe you need to think about taking a break.

I was secretly wondering if her semi-serious threat to make me single was her projecting. :/ But I don't really know what to make of it. I would love to talk if she would. I will keep trying, but I don't think I'm going to sacrifice my "end of finals/Christmas" present to myself because of that tantrum though. Especially when I'm giving up one of my snakes only to replace it with another. I wouldn't be giving him up if I weren't getting the male to pair with my female in a few years. And with regard to that, what is she going to say when 30+ baby boas pop out of my Monster Tail? She knows I want to breed, and has never once expressed an aversion to that. But somehow I think she would if she thought about it. Regardless, I think I will still get my baby boa. I won't sacrifice my own happiness to accommodate someone who won't even talk to me. I told her to give me a logical reason...she didn't have one. Therefore, I can not in good faith support her argument.

[liv]

I was secretly wondering if her semi-serious threat to make me single was her projecting.

I think there is a decent chance that if she wasn't thinking of being single, that threat wouldn't have even crossed her mind

[barbie.dragon]

The only thing you can do is sit her down and talk. There isn't anything else to it. First ask her how her day was and how her work is going. Then you talk until you figure things out. If you guys seriously can't come with with a COMPROMISE then. I don't know what to say. Marriage and relationships is about compromise, not right or wrong.

[WarriorPrincess90]

Well, she finally just called me and in an irritated tone said "As long as the number stays at 4...you can get your baby boa." She doesn't sound happy, but she said as long as it made me happy it was okay. It sounded a little forced, but it's something. When I tried to talk about it she still shut me down...but since she already sounded irritated, I decided not to push it. I'll try to talk to her about it more when we can talk in person.

Thanks again for all the advice guys.

[mechnut450]

my fianc is about the same when it comes to me with computers lol
She does not understand I spent almost my entre single life in front of the computer before I met her. ( we are both 35 ) . I would get up eat somethnig ( neverpaid much attention to it) log on the computer and either surf web , or play games . aroun 2-4 I get off do any animal care I needed to sdo ( feed clean cages) and help mom with dinner then back to the computer until I crash asleep ( sometime right in the chair.
SO she gets irked iwhen we get up and first thing I do is log on and look at facebook or some other non reptile site lol.
we both have snakes , had afew fightsover them but our issue is house the a set number in the palce we are renting, until we can get our own place then we are almost open season lol.. SHe wants to have only stuff we produced in our collection( example : we produce a bee then the pastels and spider should go to new home . ) I will not get rid of some as I know i can always use them for an different project later on fo what ever I want ot create. lol but I agree anything over 30 snakes we have to invest into our own rodent producing set up.) I know it sucks but if she not willnig to accept the snake ( with in the limits) then maybe she might not be the best match for you.

I have 4 days and i will be married lol. so it take soem give and take to make a successful relationship.

[xFenrir]

We generally talk about everything...until she doesn't like the topic and shuts me down. She makes it clear that she doesn't really care about the things that matter to me the most, save where she is concerned.

^Seems like all the more reason to talk to her about this issue, because that's not a happy sentence.

I agree with barbie.dragon: in a disagreement, see if you both can find a way to compromise! For example: you want a dog, she doesn't: maybe you tell her you'll only look for small dogs, or maybe she gets to pick the breed. Finding a way to compromise makes everyone feel that their voice is heard and matters.

[barbie.dragon]

Well, she finally just called me and in an irritated tone said "As long as the number stays at 4...you can get your baby boa." She doesn't sound happy, but she said as long as it made me happy it was okay. It sounded a little forced, but it's something. When I tried to talk about it she still shut me down...but since she already sounded irritated, I decided not to push it. I'll try to talk to her about it more when we can talk in person.

Thanks again for all the advice guys.

When she comes home let her know that you're thankful for CARING about you and being understanding. Do not thank her for letting you buy a boa. It will make her think that she's in the right of "giving you permission" to get one. Two very different things. I'm sure you two love each other very much. Let her know you love her. Sounds like a duh but some men often forget how much "I love you" can mean to a lady. Same with the ladies.

[liv]

I'm glad that you can get your boa! My only concern is that I'm sure eventually another little worm will catch your eye and it will be a fight all over again, especially since you want to get into breeding. When you see her in person I really think you should lay down some of your own rules about her involvement in your hobby... It seems very one-sided right now: she essentially gets to yay or nay what animals you can or cannot keep. She isn't your mom, she's your partner!

[Mike41793]

I'm glad that you can get your boa! My only concern is that I'm sure eventually another little worm will catch your eye and it will be a fight all over again, especially since you want to get into breeding. When you see her in person I really think you should lay down some of your own rules about her involvement in your hobby... It seems very one-sided right now: she essentially gets to yay or nay what animals you can or cannot keep. She isn't your mom, she's your partner!

x2. Aint no woman tellin me how many balls i get to have!

Does she have any hobbies? Being the evil, spiteful person that i am i think you should try putting restraints on her hobbies and see how she likes it. Haha

[iCandiBallPythons]

There are tons of hot reptile girls out there so I would trade her in:thumbup:

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