Sometimes I hate him!

[Mike41793]

Im way too much of a pessimist lol. I wouldnt believe what he said for a second. Im glad to hear you finally ate though. Dont let it get that bad again.

MrLang- I agree with everything you said in that long post.

[PorcelainxDoll]

Im a pessamist too Mike, well actually a realist. We have just been through so much together I need to try to make this work.

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[wolfy-hound]

I have the feeling that you won't leave him, not now, not when he steals more, not when he does worse things.

You resisted any advice, dodged the issues and then jumped on the one guy who said "Oh no, don't leave him, you have to help him!" and happily agreed with his statements.

If he really cares about changing, did he agree to go to a rehab program? Did he say "Oh honey, I'll bring food home for you every night" or "I'll give you my full paycheck every week so you can pay the bills and give me an allowance until we're caught up"?

I heard "Oh he cried and said he'd change". Without any solutions, nothing has changed, and nothing will change and you won't leave. If you don't mind him using you to get drugs and have you take care of him while he does whatever he likes, then fine. That's how you want to live your life. That's your choice.

Sorry if it's harsh, but at this point in my life, I'm just plain tired of hearing "Oh, we need to help him!" and hearing cries for help and cries about bad treatment from people who don't want to do anything at all to rectify the situation.

[PorcelainxDoll]

He already does give me his full paycheck everytime he gets paid. He used to give me free food when he could. He got fired for 2 weeks, but got his job back, so his checks are small so we are struggling right now.
If hes not doing meth he doesnt need rehab, but has agreed to go to counseling. Im chosing not to leave my husband over a few bad days when up until 2 weeks ago we were financially stable.
Yes he stole money, it hurt me he feels bad for it and is making it up to me.
He is trying to be better. I did not ignore the advice to leave him. I chose to try to salvage my marriage. I am sorry you dont approve.

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[MrLang]

I have to be honest, the description of where the money went is EXACTLY the kind of lie myself and many other addicts I have known would have approached the issue. It's like, textbook. He gave the weed away because he felt bad? That doesn't even make a modicum of sense... 20 bucks for cigs and food? I thought he eats for free at the restaurant he works at. Did he spend the money on a sub at the pizza shop instead of cheap raw ingredients to make multiple meals for the BOTH of you? He lost the other 20? Just fell out of his pocket? Maybe he got pick pocketed and his wallet was robbed clean and put back into his pocket?

Come on... you can believe what you want to believe but only to a certain point. Anyway, good luck with him. I sincerely mean that but definitely have strong doubts based on the content of this thread.

[TJ_Burton]

He already does give me his full paycheck everytime he gets paid. He used to give me free food when he could. He got fired for 2 weeks, but got his job back, so his checks are small so we are struggling right now.
If hes not doing meth he doesnt need rehab, but has agreed to go to counseling. Im chosing not to leave my husband over a few bad days when up until 2 weeks ago we were financially stable.
Yes he stole money, it hurt me he feels bad for it and is making it up to me.
He is trying to be better. I did not ignore the advice to leave him. I chose to try to salvage my marriage. I am sorry you dont approve.

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At the end of the day you know your situation better than anyone else - despite how well you try to convey it to us, not one person in this thread can give you a clear cut solution to your situation, let alone have a full understanding of it's complexities.

You shouldn't be sorry if others don't approve because it really isn't any of their business anyways.
For the future, you are better off seeking council or guidance from a professional rather than through the forums. Not to say you didn't get sound advice, but you also got a lot of nonsense you didn't need.

I am also glad to hear that a few days (or even weeks) of a rough ride with your hubby isn't grounds for you to ostracize him and part ways. We all have moments of weakness, as well as moments of strength. I would hope that this goes both ways, and if you ever end up wearing down the relationship in the future that he stands by your side as you did for him.

Take care and all the best to you and your marriage.

[Annarose15]

I wish you the best. The only warning I would like to still point out is that your marriage was driven this low by only a couple of weeks of financial hardship. How will he act next time there are difficulties? Will you be the sole bearer of the struggle then, too? Relationships aren't just about how good things are when times are easy.

[Savannelee]

At the end of the day you know your situation better than anyone else - despite how well you try to convey it to us, not one person in this thread can give you a clear cut solution to your situation, let alone have a full understanding of it's complexities.

You shouldn't be sorry if others don't approve because it really isn't any of their business anyways.
For the future, you are better off seeking council or guidance from a professional rather than through the forums. Not to say you didn't get sound advice, but you also got a lot of nonsense you didn't need.

I am also glad to hear that a few days (or even weeks) of a rough ride with your hubby isn't grounds for you to ostracize him and part ways. We all have moments of weakness, as well as moments of strength. I would hope that this goes both ways, and if you ever end up wearing down the relationship in the future that he stands by your side as you did for him.

It may not be anybody buisness but she asked for advice on the situation making a personal issue into a public one. She stated she didnt have many friends and needed someone to talk to.
What she chooses to do with her life is her choice but I really dont think anyones opinion would have made a difference.


Take care and all the best to you and your marriage.

- - - Updated - - -

At the end of the day you know your situation better than anyone else - despite how well you try to convey it to us, not one person in this thread can give you a clear cut solution to your situation, let alone have a full understanding of it's complexities.

You shouldn't be sorry if others don't approve because it really isn't any of their business anyways.
For the future, you are better off seeking council or guidance from a professional rather than through the forums. Not to say you didn't get sound advice, but you also got a lot of nonsense you didn't need.

I am also glad to hear that a few days (or even weeks) of a rough ride with your hubby isn't grounds for you to ostracize him and part ways. We all have moments of weakness, as well as moments of strength. I would hope that this goes both ways, and if you ever end up wearing down the relationship in the future that he stands by your side as you did for him.

It may not be anybody buisness but she asked for advice on the situation making a personal issue into a public one. She stated she didnt have many friends and needed someone to talk to.
What she chooses to do with her life is her choice but I really dont think anyones opinion would have made a difference.


Take care and all the best to you and your marriage.

- - - Updated - - -

She made it a personal matter into a public one by choosing to ask what she should do or what people thought on the matter.
I dont think anyones advice would have made a difference anyways because its seems like she has her mind set on what she thinks she should do and its her life, and she has to live with the choices she has made or makes.

[TJ_Burton]

It may not be anybody buisness but she asked for advice on the situation making a personal issue into a public one. She stated she didnt have many friends and needed someone to talk to.
What she chooses to do with her life is her choice but I really dont think anyones opinion would have made a difference.

She made it a personal matter into a public one by choosing to ask what she should do or what people thought on the matter.
I dont think anyones advice would have made a difference anyways because its seems like she has her mind set on what she thinks she should do and its her life, and she has to live with the choices she has made or makes.

You need to learn how to quote people more effectively!

That aside,
What exactly was your goal with this post? Stating the obvious for the OP to see? Are you trying to make the OP feel responsible or liable for any 'less than helpful' posts in this thread? Should she feel responsible for the actions and opinions of others in this thread? Are you trying to make her feel like you believe the choice she made is wrong? Do you think you know better than her? Are you married to her husband?

At this point, rather than posting things that are potentially going to do more harm than good, or cause turbulence on an already unstable plane, just keep it to yourself. The OP is not responsible for anyone but herself, and she should not feel sorry/badly for making her own choices in her life. Keep in mind, whatever you THINK you know regarding her situation, your likely wrong or missing information.

OP: My advice at this point is to stop responding to this thread. You made your choices for your own reasons, and there is absolutely no need to justify it to anyone here. Your personal life should remain personal. Nobody can tell you the choice you made is wrong, because not one of us knows what is best for you, better than you know for yourself.

God speed.

[Savannelee]

You need to learn how to quote people more effectively!

That aside,
What exactly was your goal with this post? Stating the obvious for the OP to see? Are you trying to make the OP feel responsible or liable for any 'less than helpful' posts in this thread? Should she feel responsible for the actions and opinions of others in this thread? Are you trying to make her feel like you believe the choice she made is wrong? Do you think you know better than her? Are you married to her husband?

At this point, rather than posting things that are potentially going to do more harm than good, or cause turbulence on an already unstable plane, just keep it to yourself. The OP is not responsible for anyone but herself, and she should not feel sorry/badly for making her own choices in her life. Keep in mind, whatever you THINK you know regarding her situation, your likely wrong or missing information.

OP: My advice at this point is to stop responding to this thread. You made your choices for your own reasons, and there is absolutely no need to justify it to anyone here. Your personal life should remain personal. Nobody can tell you the choice you made is wrong, because not one of us knows what is best for you, better than you know for yourself.

God speed.

Is this better? Am I doing it right??

Yes I was stating the obvious...Dont ask for an opinion if you dont want to hear it, or its not what you were expecting to hear. Everybody has an opinion, weather you like it or not.
I dont know if the choice she made was wrong but im sure she will be able to decide that for herself one day. No im not married to her husband and personally I wouldnt marry a felon or a drug addict but thats me, then you wonder why he steals from you? I think his past speaks for itself. BUT people can change and I really hope he does.
And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot say??

Anyways good luck in life, hope everything works out.