Sometimes I hate him!

[Norsejeff]

I hate to say it but if he's a meth addict, weed could easily lead back to relapse. Have a serious discussion about it and let him know you love him and won't be upset if he tells the truth. Your job is to then not be upset. Show pitty. If he never did the NA 12 steps, its probably time. The way NA works, he'll live the rest of his life on step 12 and be clean and sober because of it!

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[PorcelainxDoll]

Im scared you might be right. And it breaks my heart, he was so good. I do want to help him. I just want the man who I fwll in love with back, not this stranger. Its been so bad we havent even slept in the same room together for more then a night or 2 in months

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[Norsejeff]

Im scared you might be right. And it breaks my heart, he was so good. I do want to help him. I just want the man who I fwll in love with back, not this stranger. Its been so bad we havent even slept in the same room together for more then a night or 2 in months

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You will get him back! Have faith! Addiction is a life long disease. There are no "ex" addicts. Once an addict, always an addict. And that is nothing to be ashamed of! Just get him into NA, help him find a sponsor, help him work the program and have an open and honest relationship about it without judgment or disappointment. You'll see the man you fell in love with again before you know it and you will love each other so much more for this experience!

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[PorcelainxDoll]

Thank you! I really hope I do get him back.

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[Kodieh]

Im the same kind of person as you, I don't want to be like my parents; divorced and on to the next partner.

However, this "stranger" is the man he's choosing to be. And, there's a different line between just marriage hopping and working in your best interest. At some point, it has to be about YOU and not you and him as a couple. He's already proved he's back to himself as number one, maybe you should too.

Just to address the attacks I noticed, are there any of the pets that are his too? Do you mutually share the pets or are the pets a hobby of your own?


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[PorcelainxDoll]

We own cats together. I have 2 snakes he has 1. So they are a shared responsibility. Though I still end up paying for everything. :/

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[Mike41793]

On a serious note, OP, don't abandon the guy you loved enough to marry because he has a problem with drugs. Get him help and be by his side to support him on his road to recovery. Leaving the poor guy will only further his problem. If you care about him, help him into recovery. Trust me, I'm in recovery and having a loving support system is vital!

He already went to prison for what im assuming was a drug related offence. He got out and was clean when she married him. HE made the concience choice to start using again (if he is). I completely disagree with you. If hes using again she should leave him bc clearly he's chosen the drugs over her. Did you miss the part where she hasnt eaten in 3 days so he can buy drugs?! I have never used hard drugs so i really cant give a view from that perspective but i dont think drug addicts are "sick". At some point in their life they made the CHOICE to use drugs. No one forced him to smoke or snort or inject the meth. He chose to. Now hes choosing to let his wife starve so he can have drugs.

Without it harming me at all i REALLY wish there was some way to get myself addicted to something just so i could prove that i could quit and never touch it again. Imo its all just about willpower.

[Norsejeff]

He already went to prison for what im assuming was a drug related offence. He got out and was clean when she married him. HE made the concience choice to start using again (if he is). I completely disagree with you. If hes using again she should leave him bc clearly he's chosen the drugs over her. Did you miss the part where she hasnt eaten in 3 days so he can buy drugs?! I have never used hard drugs so i really cant give a view from that perspective but i dont think drug addicts are "sick". At some point in their life they made the CHOICE to use drugs. No one forced him to smoke or snort or inject the meth. He chose to. Now hes choosing to let his wife starve so he can have drugs.

Without it harming me at all i REALLY wish there was some way to get myself addicted to something just so i could prove that i could quit and never touch it again. Imo its all just about willpower.

What you've said here is a prime example for why I stated earlier "no one can understand an addict except an addict". It doesn't make sense to anyone, even to ourselves. We do things we would have never even considered possible when the battle of the addicition is being waged. Its a mental illness; a brain disorder regardless of how the person first became addicted. Once that person is addicted, the disease never leaves you.

Think of it as getting meningitis or something if you must. No one really cares how you got the meningitis, just that you now have it. No one says "well, that poor sod shouldn't have been in a place where there was a disease! Screw him!"

Addiction should be looked at and dealt with in the same way as any other disease.

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[lefty]

Without it harming me at all i REALLY wish there was some way to get myself addicted to something just so i could prove that i could quit and never touch it again. Imo its all just about willpower.

SNAKES? try quitting that addiction....

i have to agree with you. there is not a person alive that doesn't know the dangers of drugs brfore they start using them. there is so much info out there at school,on TV, giant roadside billboards, etc about what happens if you use meth, heroin, crack, coke, whatever. people choose to ignore that and then when they are addicted and at rock bottom they blame addiction, not themselves. i come from a loooong line of alcholoics/addicts. i see it firsthand everyday. sometimes, the only thing left to do is the hardest thing, cutting ties and moving on. its a huge step. i've had to do it with immediate family and it is NOT easy but personal happiness is the most important goal in life and to get there sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

To the OP, sleeping in the same room twice in three onths or whatever time span it is does NOT sound *)% happy. the math on that is more like .97%.........be happy. and remember, money and material things DO NOT=happiness.

[Annarose15]

On a serious note, OP, don't abandon the guy you loved enough to marry because he has a problem with drugs. Get him help and be by his side to support him on his road to recovery. Leaving the poor guy will only further his problem. If you care about him, help him into recovery. Trust me, I'm in recovery and having a loving support system is vital!

I'm sorry, but he has made three choices in this situation that became HER problem. He went to work in a restaurant, starting using drugs again, and STOLE REPEATEDLY from her. Anyone who has worked in the restaurant industry knows that drugs, especially marijuana, are a part of many employees' lifestyles, so this was a stupid, irresponsible choice of job for him to get/keep. HE went out and starting using an illegal substance, which is not chemically addictive (unlike meth), but he CAN'T AFFORD. HE stole money TWICE that keeps a roof over their heads. Sure, put him in a program (again). But the only one that can change him is HIM, and she should not allow him to choose his "entertainment", addiction, or sheer selfishness over her ability to survive. There is a difference between support and enabling, and allowing "mistake" after devious, dishonest "mistake" is NOT HELPING ANYONE.