Drive (or bus/walk if you're like me) around the area you want to live in and actually look for complexes that look acceptable from the outside first. I know there are tons that I would never even approach no matter what amenities they might offer.
Then take a tour of each one you like, talking to the office folks, getting the flyers and such. Take notes on what you see and on what they say to you so you can compare later. Figure out what things are most important to you - square footage, a pool or gym, gated or not, w/d hookups, and the like. Those are the things you'll be comparing between each complex you visit. Seeing the places in person is a LOT different than looking at pictures and ads online or in booklets.
Sit down with your partner in this and talk it all over - which ones looked good, which seemed too good to be true (and there will be those), and compare your preferences at each one. That gives you a place to start.

I am practically an expert in finding apartments. I also know how to make sure I find one that will accept my animals. That is very important, as a lot of managers will object to snakes but allow lizards. Sigh. I managed to get the folks at the last two complexes I've lived at (one in Denver) to accept my snakes by showing them the cages I myself built which are strong, sturdy, and have spring latch hooks to close them. You do what you must to keep your critters.

As for the ones you listed above... I would say it comes down to that list. Figure out which amenities are most important to you and base any decisions, even which ones to go look at again, on that list.

Good luck! I know how stressful it can be.