The Boy Friend or Snakes ???

[dart]

So can't children, and full time jobs, and school. If someone can't at the VERY least accept a passion such as this, how can you expect them to accept other parts of your life? I'm a 24 y/o single mom, I work more than full time in a very high stress job, I'm also in the Air Force Reserves, and will be starting school full time very shortly. How can I expect a guy to deal with all that if he can't even handle my snakes?

You can't. This is a passion. It's not like a drug addiction, or an alcohol problem, or anything dangerous. It's keeping reptiles. If a guy tells me he can't accept my reptiles and tarantulas, then he sure as heck can't accept the more serious aspects of my life. Four years or not

It's definitely easier to accept jobs, school and children over accepting a hobby. Just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean it's right to ignore someone you care about. I used to play video games and hockey a lot more than I spent time with my now fiance. Just because I was passionate about it, doesn't mean it was right. I realized my mistakes and changed. Now we are engaged and have a beautiful baby.

Before you go spouting advice that could potentially ruin a relationship, maybe you should think that there are always two sides to every story. Not to mention, how you feel towards your hobby and your relationships may not reflect how she feels towards hers. Saying things such as "get over it or take a hike" is ridiculously bull-headed and selfish. That's a response that doesn't even CONSIDER the other persons feelings.

[Skittles1101]

It's definitely easier to accept jobs, school and children over accepting a hobby. Just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean it's right to ignore someone you care about. I used to play video games and hockey a lot more than I spent time with my now fiance. Just because I was passionate about it, doesn't mean it was right. I realized my mistakes and changed. Now we are engaged and have a beautiful baby.

Before you go spouting advice that could potentially ruin a relationship, maybe you should think that there are always two sides to every story. Not to mention, how you feel towards your hobby and your relationships may not reflect how she feels towards hers. Saying things such as "get over it or take a hike" is ridiculously bull-headed and selfish. That's a response that doesn't even CONSIDER the other persons feelings.

There are always two sides. The problem is we're only getting one. Based on what I read, along with everyone else, he's less than pleased with the snakes. Now, unless she's one of those people we see on the discovery channel that's beyond obsessed with her snakes, I highly doubt she's putting her plans on hold with him so she can sit in a room holding her snakes for hours on end. In that case then obviously there is a bigger issue, but we don't SEE any bigger issues because we only got a very vague description and it's only one sided. Anything you or I or anyone else says is speculation. Sounds to me like you're ASSuming this guy is Mr. Wonderful, when in fact he could be a controlling A like my ex husband. Based on the very little facts she gave, I made an honest opinion on how I deal with this crap.

Don't scold me, I know what it's like to give up everything you love and bend your entire life to make someone ELSE happy. I finally got my head out of my behind and got divorced. I also have a very beautiful son out of it. Based on MY life experiences, which you have no idea about, I'd definitely tell him to take a hike. I'm not ruining anyone relationships, she's a grown woman and can make her own decisions. I simply stated my opinion.

Edit: And just to add, this isn't "just a hobby" to me, this is a huge part of me, these are living beings, much like my child/job/military. Hence why there isn't much room to budge for compromise. Please, next time you want to reprimand someone for their opinion, try taking their feelings into consideration, since you're so big on that.

[wilomn]

It's definitely easier to accept jobs, school and children over accepting a hobby. Just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean it's right to ignore someone you care about. I used to play video games and hockey a lot more than I spent time with my now fiance. Just because I was passionate about it, doesn't mean it was right. I realized my mistakes and changed. Now we are engaged and have a beautiful baby.

Before you go spouting advice that could potentially ruin a relationship, maybe you should think that there are always two sides to every story. Not to mention, how you feel towards your hobby and your relationships may not reflect how she feels towards hers. Saying things such as "get over it or take a hike" is ridiculously bull-headed and selfish. That's a response that doesn't even CONSIDER the other persons feelings.

You do realize that there's just a bit of difference between sitting on your ass playing games all day and keeping healthy happy animals, right? Because, if you don't, you're not adult enough to have an opinion in this thread.

If she doesn't engage in her hobby properly and in a timely fashion, her snakes die. If you don't play your game....nothing happens at all. Realize that and maybe you'll be qualified to participate. You're what? 25? Been around a long time, have ya? Talk to me in 20 years when you've been married for 15 and see if you still feel the same.

[dart]

I guess you're right. She came here asking for opinions, so why should I care what people tell her? Snakebite, just do what you feel is right. As long as you're ok with the decision, it was the right one.

[dart]

You do realize that there's just a bit of difference between sitting on your ass playing games all day and keeping healthy happy animals, right? Because, if you don't, you're not adult enough to have an opinion in this thread.

If she doesn't engage in her hobby properly and in a timely fashion, her snakes die. If you don't play your game....nothing happens at all. Realize that and maybe you'll be qualified to participate. You're what? 25? Been around a long time, have ya? Talk to me in 20 years when you've been married for 15 and see if you still feel the same.

You're right. I'm actually 13 years old, I played video games for 16 hours a day and played hockey for 12 mins once a week. Next time, maybe you should try to open your mind before your mouth. How narrow minded can you be to assume I have no clue what I'm talking about? I'm one of the few people in this thread not telling the OP to kick him to the curb. Some of us are trying to explain to her to contemplate her situation and make the call herself. The correct decision is the one she makes on her own. The one she FEELS is right. Not the one that people with chips on their shoulders from past experiences tell her to make.

[Mike41793]

Since when does experience mean nothing?

[wilomn]

Since when does experience mean nothing?

When you argue with those who know everything yet have experienced almost nothing. You know, like in this thread.

[Mike41793]

I used to know everything, then i took an arrow to the knee

[DooLittle]

Ok, so life has priorities and responsibilities. What is your top priority will make a difference. Mine, - my child, my animals, my husband, me. My husband knew when we got together that my animals were top of my list. (This was before my daughter came along, she is #1 now). I had several, and they were my responsibility. I loved them and they were here for the long haul. He is very understanding of that to this day. We spent quite a bit of money, trying to save one of the best cats ever. Who we couldn't save despite cardiologists. He had congestive heart failure. We knew we couldn't save him but maybe buy him some quality time. And my husband knew it was a lost cause, but also knew what my cat meant to me, and never said a word about it, despite the cost, and time involved with vet/cardiologist, draining fluid off his heart, spending money on medication that was questionable, and very expensive. I guess 4 years is nothing if he can't at least understand your passion, imo. If this causes friction, what are your chances down the road with bigger issues? Stand up for what is important to you, there is somebody out there who will be supportive. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Someone will love and be proud of you for it. Just imo.....

BTW, animals love unconditionally!!!!


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[Kodieh]

If your snake keeping was as simple as something like model trains or airplanes; you know, something that actually COULD be done at a later time while he is occupied otherwise or not there then by all means you might contemplating trying a little more. But the fact is, you're keeping living creatures. In my appeals to people's sense of humanity, my snake and geckos are no different than their cats or dogs. A living, breathing, eating creature dependent on me!

Unfortunately, I was married before my reptile addiction began. So, the wife HAS to deal with it, to some extent haha. But, she's gotten to the point where now she wants her own BP. Honestly, try to include him in cleaning, feeding, and maintaining. If he's just not into it, then maybe try and set a routine where there is time for him. Who knows, maybe he'll get the addiction too.


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