Military with children?

[Rob]

IMO the military is not good for people who feel the way you do. Lots of us figured out a way to make it work. Not a slam, we are all products of our own experience.

I agree with you different people adjust to it differently. When I was in I was active duty ARMY, I was also a young single man so I enjoyed my time in. Now I'm married and have two kids. I know that the military would no longer be for me. I have seen most of my married battle buds get cheated on while we were in Iraq and lose sleep over missing their kids. And on the other hand there is a few that did great balancing a family in the Military.

[Skittles1101]

Bump, any more advice/guidance?

[Annarose15]

Bump, any more advice/guidance?

I can only speak as a friend-looking-in: My best friend married a man while he was in Army Basic. He went Special Forces active duty for the first four years of their marriage (and his first son's life), but he was never gone for more than 6 months at a time. The next two years have been spent independent (Triple Canopy), so he is gone for much shorter stints than when he was active. I know 6 months is still a long time, and this was SF, so the rules may be different, but the moral of the story is that they all still survived and are a loving, happy family. Both of his boys talk to him daily via webcam (and did at least every few days when deployed), and are independent and well-adjusted. Your situation as a single parent isn't much different (than their mother caring for them alone), as long as your parents are prepared for the responsibility of taking care of your son if/when you can't be there, and you communicate with him at every opportunity. Just my $0.02.

[Royal Hijinx]

I have been in the Navy for 18 years (both enlisted and officer) and have deployed with the Navy, Marines and Army. Army seems to have the greatest chance of longer deployments; Airforce the shortest. Navy and Marines are about the same length since we often deploy together.

A lot will have to do with your chosen job. Some jobs are just in higher deployment rotation. For example, those of us in medical tend to go out a lot. I would still choose the job you like and not base it on deployment, as you will be happier in the long run.

The Navy paid for my Bachelors and Masters degrees, and pays well compared to my civilian counterparts.

Getting by in the mil is 98% attitude and willingness to work and get the job done. You can be taught the rest. Every person I have seen clash with military life was directly due to their attitude.

[tcutting]

I think that it should be a LAST resort. at 5 years old it’s the time in a child’s life they need the connection to both parents. They haven’t established much degree of independence and they attachment to a mother/primary parent figure is huge and of serious importance.

Like I said I think there are other ways and things to look into first. Try to reach out to Sam. When i mention what was going on to her she seems think there are a ton of grants and what not that can help you achieve the same thing without having to go military.

Again it’s your choice however ensure you truly weigh your options and what could happen if you got deployed. Having you son change school systems to where his father lives may be a greater hurdle than you think.

again I wish the best and it is not an easy choice.

[Slim]

tcutting,

Have you ever been in the military?

[RyanT]

Joining the military should be your absolute last resort...not even an option, really. Don't get caught up in the empty promises of what they'll give you. If you're willing to invest the time and effort, put it into furthering your education while you continuously search for a better job. Of course it's hard, especially these days, but it CAN be done. There ARE options out there, you just have to find them with patience and a little luck on your side. Don't give up on YOUR life by handing it over to the military.

[tcutting]

tcutting,

Have you ever been in the military?

Nope

[Slim]

RyanT,

Have you ever been in the military?

[RyanT]

RyanT,

Have you ever been in the military?

Dude, give it a rest. It's obvious from your responses that being a sheep suckling on the government's teet like a good little mindless drone makes you feel very safe and secure. Enjoy that. You're exactly what they want and I'm sure they love you very very much. So adorable.