Military with children?

[Gomojoe]

I was hoping to speak to an Air Force Reserve and National Guard recruiter too, I spoke to the Army National Guard recruiter today. The thing that really kind of sold me on the Army Reserves was he said once I take the ASVAB (which I am taking Thursday) and I select a job that is available, it is reserved for me. I go into basic knowing what job I am jumping into, and it doesn't change. He said the other branches don't do that, and you usually don't end up with the job you wanted. He could have just been blowing smoke as I'm sure they do, but that peace of mind knowing I will be in a 4 month job training program as opposed to a 12 month job training program really helped...

I also want to add that I am only considering reserves of some sort, I absolutely can't make it a career as active duty because I am technically a single parent. Another thing that sold me on the reserves is, they are the only ones accepting single parents...

You can get a guaranteed job in the air force as well!


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[Gomojoe]

There are a lot of single parents in the air force on active duty!


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[Mike41793]

There are a lot of single parents in the air force on active duty!


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Hinting at something here lol?

[Skittles1101]

There are a lot of single parents in the air force on active duty!


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lol I will be speaking to a Air Force Reserves recruiter as well. I do have to say the 6 months deployment as opposed to the 12 month deployment is much easier to swallow...

[Rob]

IMO the military is not good for children or families. It's a single persons life. Constant moving, deployments and divorce rate that is staggering.

[DooLittle]

Ahhhh I meant Army Reserves, I spoke to Army Reserves today lol.

Being that my ex husband lives in Michigan, and I am in Massachusetts with my son, I have gone as long as 3 months without him (summer, with his dad). It was VERY hard in the beginning to let him go, but sadly, as time goes on it does get easier. I still miss him like crazy when he's not with me, even for my shifts at work, but at least I'm not a blubbering mess when he leaves now lol. I think it will be VERY difficult if I get deployed, I can't imagine 15 months without him...but like I said I really think this will help both of us out in the long run. I just can't wait to see his face if I graduate from basic training, I think he'll actually like the idea of his mommy being a soldier lol.

I think he would be damn proud of his momma! Also, if you need anybody to herp/snake sit, let us know. I am sure there are enough of us out here to help you out.

[Skittles1101]

IMO the military is not good for children or families. It's a single persons life. Constant moving, deployments and divorce rate that is staggering.

The reserves I wouldn't have to move, as I have at least 3 bases I can do my work at within 50 miles of me. Deployments is my only issue, but in the long run it could be worth it. And I'm not worried about divorce either, as I'm not married.

[Slim]

I grew up from the time I was born until I turned 19 as an Air Force Brat. The only reason that changed when I turned 19 is because I joined myself and did 23 years on active duty. I also have 12 year old twins. I can speak to both sides of this coin. But first...

He said the other branches don't do that, and you usually don't end up with the job you wanted.

Completely untrue...if he sticks to his guns ask him to accompany you to the Air Force recruiting office and have him tell the USAF recruiter why he's flat out lying to potential recruits. All services offer guaranteed jobs for qualifying ASVAB scores. Every branch of the service works for the DoD...they don't get to cowboy their own rules. Tell the recruiter that, and tell him you are under the advisement of someone who knows this game...then tell him to deal the cards or watch you play the game with someone else.

Another thing that sold me on the reserves is, they are the only ones accepting single parents...

Also completely untrue. The only service that can and does discriminate against single parents is the Marine Corps, and they have a special dispensation from congress to do it....even then, I don't think it would survive a court challenge if someone pressed it, but I digress. Though I'm retired from active duty, I still work for the Air Force for the next 30 days or so (until they cut my job), and I can assure you we have more single Moms in the USAF than Carter has Little Liver Pills...

Ok, now that I have that out of my system. Growing up as a military brat was great for me. I'm outgoing, make friends easily, and get bored being in the same place for long...that's why it worked for me. My brother on the other hand, is completely the opposite, and he hated being a brat. The best day of his life was when my father retired and they settled down in one place. By that time I was already in the USAF myself and out seeing the world.

Looking at it from the perspective of a father, I see things a little different. My twins were born in 2000, and as you recall, the whole military, and me especially (due to my career field) got real busy about that time. Busy for more than 10 years, in fact. I missed slightly more than half my kid's life times from the ages of 2 till 7. That's time I can never get back.

Now that my kids are old enough to articulate what it was like during my absence, I understand that the separation was probably harder on me than it was on them, but still, any separation is a stressor and who knows what long term effects it will have...hopefully none, but we don't know that whole story yet.

Like anything in life, there are pro and cons to joining...especially when you have kids. But, I would never warn you off of it because for me, it was a wonderful way of life and has provided for everything I have. Given the choice, I would do it all over again.

[Slim]

IMO the military is not good for children or families. It's a single persons life. Constant moving, deployments and divorce rate that is staggering.

IMO the military is not good for people who feel the way you do. Lots of us figured out a way to make it work. Not a slam, we are all products of our own experience.

[luvmyballs]

So sorry about your situation. Sometimes life can really suck and when you think everything is goimg ok it has a way of kicking you in the crotch. I have unfortunately had lots of adversity in my life but one immutable fact is it always got better. The course our lives take rarely ends up where we thought it would. I know I am not even close to were I thought I would be. Joining the military can be a positive or negative experience depending on the reason you join. I think there are some very good benefits to military service. I don't know if I could be away from my family and miss seeing big chunks of my kids growing up. But that's a decision you will have to make for yourself. So weigh your pros and cons carefully and don't make a impulse decision and you will make the right decision for you and your son. I wish you the best.