Oh my god! I FOUND HIM!
My whole family is amazing; my parents may not love the snakes like I do, but everybody pitched in and helped tear up the house looking for him.
He was across the hall from the room he had been kept in, in a corner next to a bookcase. We had looked there no less than 6 times, but good thing we double checked, because he was there! I could hardly believe it when I saw his little face.
Now, he is GROUNDED! There's a couple of pounds worth of Harry Potter books on his tank, in addition to his cage clips.
Phew!
Thanks so much everyone!